Here to share...

So what you see is what you get... a bunch of weird avatars all rolled into one, me.. :D

My experiences have been profound i must say, actually so profound that i actually thought i was the messiah once...
But what do you think after having a first samsara experience... All i can say it was one hell of a blast... Going from my belly first and after that in my heart, and it felt like a radiant energy full of warmth... and a feeling of unity with it all. Kept it too, for about a month and after that it gradually fainted...

I've had other samsara's, but nothing compares to that first one, it got me so damn far, that i hallucinated for over a month... saw all kinds of things, but it's not that i saw things that we know of, not the kind of 'hallucinations' you experience in dreams(i'm not convinced that are hallucinations actually), i saw ghosts and heard voices and such things and saw some kind of energyball once, floating wright above my head when i went to bed... and actually saw my sealing open up once after focussing long enough, i heard about shamans who read walls by staring at them, with that i saw a bright white light for just a spit second. But that last one was even a while after having the burst of energy, weird thing is i got it like it was just a gift that came falling from the sky... still don't get it... i heard buddhist monks meditate years before they get such an experience... so it kinda made me go coocoo... But what do you want, every time i thought about jesus or buddha the burn in my chest just got wurs, i wasn't even able to tell any one, just couldn't i just froze... did tell my shrink without any problem, but why should she believe me...
you don't want to know why i landed up in the psychiatrie, if i haden't made my greatest fault i've ever made, i wouldn't 've ended up there... (don't ask)

So after having such an experience i started to read Carlos Castaneda 's books, wich have been a great help... I also picked up the idea of lucid dreaming there, i've had dreams before, some that looked more realistic then others, like when i was in the psychiatrie i dreamt about being in the jungle once, even dreamt that one twice...
But whatever, i have other dreams like those, but whit those you don't chose to get lucid in, it just happens...
Have had one total lucid dream, one where i was able to take all but one step of the ones in C's books... the last one where your supposed to see your self lay in your bed i haven't able to do, but offcourse you wouldn't be dreaming any more then, you'be astral travelling... Did get to fly in that dream, actually lay in a puddle of water on the roof of some school, for more then 5 minutes, untill i just flew off, with this tingly feeling in my belly hehe, oh damn it was so great to fly... :D
Before that i had some try's at it, many without any luck, and a couple where i was to astoned, that i just wooped back into my body. But i must say the first time i took a try at it, was when i 'd been out all night party'n and doing speed and mdma, i was sober doh when i did... But i managed to get in about a couple of minutes, maybe even less. i don't know if the speed had anything to do with it, it makes you focus better doh... But the fact is i don't care if it was any of the things i took that night, all i can say is i convinced myself of the possibilty of those things. Aldoh i only slipped in for a couple of split seconds twice, it didn't make me feel like tryin' it with the use of a drug again, especially not with not so natural drugs... :P
(the total one, i managed to do totaly sober.... one morning i'll never forget.)

Did have a ayahuasca trip once, about a year ago. Didn't go lucid then actually, it was more a getting-to-know-the energy's-i'm-still-hooked-on sort of thing... saw friends and family there... weird, wasn't really a place to, more of a magical dome... did notice that you indeed have to put aside your ego, and just flow with it... indeed something really weird dmt... but it is naturalsubtance in our brains too so.... did have real abstract dreaming the day after... can't remember what kinds of things, all i know is, there where to many picasso's to remember any of em.... :mrgreen:
But i'm planning to have an other go at it when the sun comes out again... next summer, but this time with even more preparation, and i'm hoping a buddy of mine will join us too, cause he would be the ultimate guide to have a long our side's, he's had his share of obe's and stuff the last 13 years sinds he's been active on his path... Actually he's been quite a help too...

What else can i say, i've had little vision, but my geuss is everyone get's those from time to time, there like ideas popping up...

I wonder if i'll ever have such an other blast again?? I 've just found out something about 'clicking' the amygdala, so i hope that will work... :idea:

It migth even be the answer to what happend to me when i got that burst of energie, i didn't click then , not to my knowledge, i did how ever have this knowing of the pineal gland and what substance that releases... I was getting quite under the impression when i got to know that, having a psychedelic manufactory inside my head... Maybe i focussed so hard on that, so that it just did what it had to do, comin' from a deeper 'knowing' / 'knowledge'.... Anyway those things don't just happen, it had been quite a turbolent time before... and i did find more meaning through reading some books about meditation and enlightment... maybe the third eye is like a giant button, the 'escape' button :-P Or maybe even the 'delete' button... i like the idea doh of having buttons inside our heads, it's like having this steering wheel...
easy as riding a car...
ride your conciousness for a change....
:-P

Still waiting for an other hit, or who know's maybe even attaining samadhi....
:-P

By the way, i'm a Belgian, if you we're wondering where my flag comes from
8) :wink: :mad: