Accidental WILD... It all makes sense now.
I've always had this weird problem where I'll be just starting to drop off to sleep, and be slightly dreaming. Then out of nowhere something or someone looks at me, and I get this horrible dread. Then I just sort of feel like I'm being sucked somewhere, and the feeling is so vivid I feel like I'm dying. It scares me and I desperately claw at consciousness until I blast awake, gasping for air.
When I first started going to Dream Views, mostly reading and not posting, I read about WILDs and sleep paralysis. I thought "hey, this must be what's happening to me". I didn't actually do much about it at the time, since I couldn't control anything anyway. I still can't.
Over the months I've lost my fire about lucid dreaming, but every night I always think of it just a little bit, almost subconsciously. Although not active in trying to induce lucid dreams or better my dream recall, I'm always on the lookout for certain signs.
Well, a few nights ago (last Sunday) I was doing my normal routine- starting to drift to sleep, almost conscious of my random thoughts turning into events. Then I started to feel it again- that sinking, dark feeling. But then I did something I was never able to do before because I was too afraid of it: I gave in, let it control me. Within a second I was zapped back into reality, no dreaming. I saw my room around me. I could feel some sort of buzzing in my head and around my body. All those words people use to describe sleep paralysis- buzzing, vibrating, humming- all those feel like the wrong words, but I suppose they're the best I have to describe what I felt.
I kept thinking "ok, don't get excited. hmmm, I'm supposed to be turning my day's thoughts into imagery and dreams. okay, what did I do in lunch today?" (It was a Sunday, though- I didn't go to lunch.)
Anyway, after a few seconds of that weird vibration going through my body, I remembered there would be a second wave from various things I'd read here months ago. I waited and sure enough, there was a second wave of buzzing. I tried to calm myself and not be afraid, but at the same time not be too excited. I could see some green orbs and things, and remembered the hypnogogic imagery. It all seemed to be working so well, but I didn't know where to go from there.
After a while (maybe 10-20 seconds) I couldn't stand it and had to move. I felt like there was a lot of saliva in my mouth, like my tongue was big and I needed to swallow. I also felt like my teeth might have been grinding or clenched. To top it off, I could have sworn I didn't have my blanket on because my right side (I was sleeping on my left) felt cold as ice. I was very surprised to find it wasn't, so I think a lot of the other uncomfortable feelings were just hallucinations too. Oh well, better luck next time.
Clearly, for a beginner who's had his last vivid lucid dream at about eight years old, this is an exciting development. I'm going to read up on WILDs and see if I can't induce one on purpose, perhaps after 5-6 hours of sleep. I'll post back with my results.
