I'm just a dreamer, I dream my life away...
Hello everyone.
I joined this weekend and I think I'll enjoy this place.
Here is a synopsis of the dreams that have plagued me all my life and prevented me from achieving control.
All of my dreams are in full real colour. Only once did I dream in pastel colour where I could become lucid right away.
Most of my dreams are life emulating. And pretty convincing. When I become lucid in these dreams, the dream characters subtly -scientifically- convince me otherwise. If they don’t succeed, my “emulated life” becomes very difficult; reality attacks to force me to comply. There is no dissertation that I can make of between those dreams and waking life and it takes me a while to realise that I am dreaming. Reality checks do not work in these dreams. So I usually go with it until I wake up. I feel pain and other real life sensations in those dreams and many times I had to die to wake up. Usually from a car crash. The other day I had to force myself to fall repeatedly on my face to wake up while the dream characters around me called me nuts for thinking I was dreaming. I was all battered up and finally passed out to awake in my bed.
My dream characters are very insidious and usually mean (Then again, so are the people in my waking life). I sometimes have special powers like controlling the weather but I cannot used them myself. Instead a dream character walks to me and tells me a stupid joke to trigger the power to his advantage. Like: once a character walked up to me and said “What’s white fluffy and cold?… Snow stupid!” and it starts to snow. The character is a snowmobiler so it all works out for him. Never for me. The characters often mind f_ck (sorry but that what it feels like) me that way. That’s when it becomes clear to me that I am sort of enslaved and powerless.
I am rarely myself when I dream. It’s like I’m living someone else’s life. Tough I am more of a puppet in those dreams, I have the skills, thoughts and memories of the entity I’m dreaming as. Sometimes when I wake up, I have residuals of the memories and the thoughts I had while I was that entity.
When I was young, I had many reality dreams about the future that have now come to pass, nothing personal, always global stuff except for one that was about me in particular. I re-lived through it for weeks on end a few years back. I thought I was dreaming and lost lucidity and became a puppet in my waking life. I was expecting to wake up back in my childhood. It drove me mad.
After that episode I was able to remember my dreams easily and was more and more able to become lucid to the point where I was aware of being in a dream. Dream recalls were as good as when I was a child (I rarely need to write them down. I remember them as though I lived it). It was refreshing as it had been 20 years since I could recall a single dream.
Though that was not a blessing… Three years ago, I bought a lucid dream kit (dream mask, Laberge’s book and his meditation CD) to help me with an insidious problem. I was plagued with this dream which I needed to fight off. I was repeatedly being raped in this dream by my boss while he was telling me “You’re going to work for me you little shit or I’ll kill you”. He’s a guy and so am I so you can imagine where I got “it“. The dream repeated for a few week. One day, while at work, I got a spam mail advertising the dream kit so I got it. Two days later, I destroyed my boss (in a dream of course) right before he could do his thing. I had to destroy the entire planet to do it but hey, who’s complaining. I lost my job the very next day though. He fired me.
After that I’ve had 2 dreams where I could fly fully lucid. 10 dreams of floating around instead of walking though only vivid , one very lucid dream where me and this guy are flying around in a man-made flying craft that looked like a car/ufo. The rest of my dreams are vivid dreams of the types mentioned above.
I haven’t been fully lucid in 2 years.
My goal is to become lucid enough to:
1) Get rid of those nasty life emulating dreams
2) Destroy the dream characters that mess with me to gain power over me and My dreams
3) Regain control of my powers that have been stripped away from me by the dream characters
4) Be able to travel around my dream by any method I choose. Flying, floating, instant travel…
5) Be able to do whatever I want, It’s my dream after all. I’m tired of doing what others want. I have enough of that shit in my waking life.
6) Be able to create and modify the world/any world around me
7) Be the master of my dreams. They are my dreams dag nabit
I hope this is enough info for your guys to know where I’m coming from and where I plan to go and hope it will help you guide me through my journey.
Thanks you in advance for any help you can give.
