Hi! I'm New...need Help Please!

Hi All, I'm new here and very new to all this...

The reason I'm posting is that my husband left me for another woman 3 months ago. Since he left, I have dreamt about him every single night. Initially they were dreams of him with his new woman, which is understandable really, given the shock I was in.

However, recently they have become far more reoccuring. My father is often in them - sadly he passed away last December. Other members of my close family are also in the dreams and my husband is in the background looking very sad and remorseful. In the dreams my father tells me that my husband is truly sorry for everything he's done and that he doesn'nt infact love or care for this new woman as much as I would think he does. In the dream I then become frantic and panicky and try to get away from everyone, with an immense feeling of pain and hurt and not wanting to go through that again.

The dreams are now becoming even more lucid with my husband prominently in the dream and I can recall his face, his actions, everything like they really happened!

I would like to point out, in real life, he has not at any time shown any remorse for his actions or shown any sign that he still loves me. We have minimal contact which is made via email and to be honest, he acting like he's happy he's shot of me!

Is it likely that I'm just having these dreams because I'm desperate to cling onto some hope that he does feel a tiny bit sorry...is it just me going mad!

Sorry its a bit long, but it's driving me crazy...I'm coping really well considering everything, but then when I go to bed I end up dreaming of him every single night, which is so frustrating!

Any help would be hugely appreciated....thanks

Wow :( Sorry purplepoppet for both of your losses. I welcome you but wish it were under different circumstances.

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The dreams are now becoming even more lucid with my husband prominently in the dream and I can recall his face, his actions, everything like they really happened&#33;[/b]

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When you say lucid, do you mean a lucid dream or a regular dream becoming more vivid and clear?

If these are lucid dreams you have an incredible opportunity to face these fears. Your mind is struggling with all that has happened. A lucid dream provides a great forum for you to address these issues directly.
Although you may have fear in the dream you need to confront the dream characters and say what you wish to say. Ask questions too. Your brain knows a lot more than you think.

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Originally Posted by Howetzer

Wow :( Sorry purplepoppet for both of your losses. I welcome you but wish it were under different circumstances.
When you say lucid, do you mean a lucid dream or a regular dream becoming more vivid and clear?

If these are lucid dreams you have an incredible opportunity to face these fears. Your mind is struggling with all that has happened. A lucid dream provides a great forum for you to address these issues directly.
Although you may have fear in the dream you need to confront the dream characters and say what you wish to say. Ask questions too. Your brain knows a lot more than you think.

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Thanks Howetzer,

Sorry to sound really stupid, but was is the difference between a normal dream and a lucid dream...beinga newbie to all this, I&#39;m not 100% sure.

A lucid dream is where you know you&#39;re dreaming during the dream, and then you can attempt to seize control of the dream.

A normal dream is a dream where you have no idea that you&#39;re dreaming.

And I&#39;m sorry to hear of your losses.

Hello purplepoppet. I am sorry for your losses as well. I sure don&#39;t think you&#39;re going crazy&#33; There are different levels of lucid dreaming, and the simplest is an awareness during the dream that you are dreaming. In the next level you are aware you are dreaming, but you are conscious as well - you can make conscious decisions in your dream world. For example, if you became lucid in one of the dreams you are having, you could choose whether to walk up to your husband and talk to him, or choose to walk away and enjoy a dream that wasn&#39;t about him. I wish you well with sorting these things out, in your dreams and in waking life.

Thank you all....I am very aware that I&#39;m dreaming and can recall them very precisely...however, don&#39;t think I&#39;m actually in control of the dream.

You&#39;re probably already doing this, but read around some more and you&#39;ll start to pick up ways to recognize that you&#39;re dreaming, which will lead to the ability to become conscious in your dreams. Feel free to ask about any aspects that don&#39;t seem clear.

Do you think it is possible that my dreams are trying to tell me something, or is it my subconcious just playing games with me? They really are so vivid, it&#39;s bizarre and I feel like I&#39;ve been opened up to something completely fascinating. I have always had very vivid dreams, nightmare and exceptionally good recall of all of them, but I&#39;ve never really taken much notice of it until now...especially since my Dad died. Sometimes, I have really lovely dreams of him and he&#39;s talking to me telling me not to worry, that he&#39;s really happy now and still with us... I feel like I have had an amazing inner strength to deal with everything, i.e. his death, my husband leaving me and it&#39;s like he&#39;s helping me through it all.

As you can tell, I&#39;m very confused by it all and just worry that it&#39;s my mind playing tricks and maybe I&#39;m just looking for things to cling onto.

x

I don&#39;t think your subconscious is out to play games with you. Have you ever worked on some kind of problem during the day, and gone to sleep at night without having worked out a solution, and you woke up the next morning with the solution clear as day? Or you go back to the problem that next day and the solution comes to you quickly? Time and distance often helps us solve problems, whether because our subconscious has worked on the problem, or because we are able to see things in new ways with a fresh perspective.

Dreams can contribute to solving problems. By solving problems, I also refer to working through hard times. Dreams are a source of ideas; it is up to us in waking life to consider what from our dreams is meaningful, and what doesn&#39;t really make sense in the waking world. So if you come to a new perspective on your Dad&#39;s passing as a result of something that came to you in a dream, that seems like something good. If something disturbing happens in a dream, that you can&#39;t connect to anything in waking life, there is no reason to worry much about it. Many people here will tell you that the only person who can really interpret your dreams is you.

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Originally Posted by JaphyR

I don&#39;t think your subconscious is out to play games with you. Have you ever worked on some kind of problem during the day, and gone to sleep at night without having worked out a solution, and you woke up the next morning with the solution clear as day? Or you go back to the problem that next day and the solution comes to you quickly? Time and distance often helps us solve problems, whether because our subconscious has worked on the problem, or because we are able to see things in new ways with a fresh perspective.

Dreams can contribute to solving problems. By solving problems, I also refer to working through hard times. Dreams are a source of ideas; it is up to us in waking life to consider what from our dreams is meaningful, and what doesn&#39;t really make sense in the waking world. So if you come to a new perspective on your Dad&#39;s passing as a result of something that came to you in a dream, that seems like something good. If something disturbing happens in a dream, that you can&#39;t connect to anything in waking life, there is no reason to worry much about it. Many people here will tell you that the only person who can really interpret your dreams is you.
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NICE ~ :goodjob: