Still tryin...kinda frustrated

Hey, I have another question for y'all. ;-) This one is actually kind of intriguing and I think I might actually be on to something? I dunno, but here's the story. I recently went down to Florida for spring break, and spent the first night with my aunt and then left to go stay with friends. That first night, Im laying in the bed she made up for me, and before i go to bed i turn the fan down really low so its not too noisy. So in the middle of the night, i wake up and Im irritated because i feel the fan blowing against me too hard, like its really cool. And i look up and the fan is going really fast, like almost out of control. And i start to think, Im pretty sure I turned the fan down when i went to bed, and i reach over to my watch and cant make the indiglo work, and then after somehow seeing the face (it was like I turned the lights on, but i dont think i really did...) and that it was going out of control, I was sure i was dreaming. So after my previous attempts that didnt have me doing anythiung I really wanted to do, i decided that I really wanted to fly. so, im walking through my aunts house, which ive only been in a handful of times, and its really indiscriminate, like dark and kind of blurry (i think this may have been because of my infamiliarity with it). I had recently read somewhere that thinking, and even shouting "focus NOW!" or something along those lines would help, and i tried this but nothing really improved. so, she has these big bay windows at the far end of the house, and i said i was gonna run and crash through those, and take off flying. So i start running toward the windows, and i get almost there and my legs collapse under me. i get up doggedly, and go outside and sort of throw myself into the air, but my surrounding darken even more, and it fades to black. I open my eyes and im back laying in that bed, and im tryin to determine if im still asleep, but i feel MUCH more...conscious, im almost positive im awak, and after checking my now indiglo lit watch like 3 times i confirm this. My thing is this; the only part of this dream that even felt remotely real was that initial breeze, when i was "lucid" i felt almost muddled, like it was very murky. Also, I have never had a lucid dream until I read about it (something I think is fairly common), and while i have experienced mild sleep paralysis for a long time, only after reading about people experiencing ambient sound with it and OBEs, have I started to experience that as well (the ambient sound, and some mild feeling like i was floating, not a true OBE). It's just....after reviewing that "lucid" dream afterwards, and thiking about about the feelings i experience during sleep paralysis now (also there is usually a tingling along my arms), i feel almost like my mind is making it up, like its trying to create an experience to fit what I have read about it...has anyone else had an experience where they felt like they dreamed about having a lucid dream? Does this even seem possible? its very frustrating if it is...otherwise it sems that i have severe problems with establishing clarity in my lucid dreams, and im slightly unsure of how to procede...anyway sorry for the long post, but any advice is always welcome! 8-) 'night

I have had several dreams where i talk about how cool my lucid dreams will be with different people. i also have many where i talk to kids about how i had dreamed about them recently. every time i do this i get really angry when i wake up because i know i was that close to getting it. your dream sounds like it was lucid.

the power of suggestion is a very very powerful thing, and this may very well be the case, as i have found that even suggesting absurd things to people can cause an impact in their psyche (ie calling someone who has high self-esteem and straight A's dumb, even jokingly, over time, will make them begin to doubt their intelligence)...i get the exact same feeling of murkiness you are attempting to discribe here, and im fairly certain it is caused by lack of dream recall...dreaming that you had a lucid dream is what i call a 1/2 lucid dream, cause you know you're dreaming, but you concious isnt actually present...for example, next time, try to sit down and ponder about something...it wont happen, 'cause like a regular dream, your actions are somehow controlled, predescribed by your subconcious for you...i still believe, however, that these would be fully lucid dreams, if dream recall increased, as it would seem that we dont understand the events...by increasing dream recall, we're increasing the number of dreams that are retained by and processed by our concious mind, thus by increasing dream recall, you also increase your overall ability to recognize and register dreams