Thread: Newbie Looking For Help With Getting Better

I have been lucid in many dreams before. In that, I've been fully in control of my actions, and possibly aware it was a dream. I used to be able to at times, to ask for things, while lucid, and they'd be given. Sometimes this did not work out correctly, and whatever I asked for would be denied or mutated in some way.

Then I began to feel as though whoever it was I was asking was beginning to hate my little requests, and not only denied everything, but made my dreams as little fun as possible. I tried getting an audience with this person, and did, but I can't recall the conversation. Then a few night ago, for some reason I was introduced to them, and they said that they would be "taking over for the old guy", and that things were going to get better. That night I had the most awesome string of dreams ever. Since then though, meh.

So to my problem. The last few nights, I've been trying to take direct control of things. Starting small of course. I looked at a door and held my palm out like I was doing magic or something, and said "cheerleaders", because, well... I have a soft spot for cheerleaders.

People came out of there, but they were not actual cheerleaders, as I wanted. Then last night, I went back into a dream, and got ahold (or maybe made) an orb. I said I'm going to do what I want with this orb, and it turned green. I said, okay, I'm going to keep it green, and play with it for a while. It got bigger, and lost it's color, and turned ugly, so I was walking down a hallway, and sat down on a chair, and said, okay I'm gonna crack this thing if it takes all night.

Before I could do that though, I felt a little shake and heard a noise, and it seemed as though this wall that was very far off was moving closer. I went down the hall back where I came, and went through a door and closed it. Thinking that'd save me. The wall at the end of the hall just slammed up against the door and wall I had closed, and the last thing I remember was some kind of a statue that had a face on it, grinning, and then going back to normal.

Why is this happening? Am I not supposed to be trying to do this? How can I stop these attacks and denials of my power? I've tried being confident, but maybe I'm just not confident enough, but it's hard to be confident when nothing you do is working. What if I just got angry, and tried to force my will?

I don't know, I'm confused. I've been going at this by myself for a long time. Thought it was about time to bring in some help.