Good night. I feel that is an appropriate introduction for such a forum; Perhaps "Good Day" should be reserved for the departures.
I've been a lurker here for what I believe is around a year. This is truly the best Lucid Dreaming community I've seen in my searches; this is full of experienced, helpful people.
My LD experience is limited at best. I get lucky and get about one per month, but I haven't been trying - I don't think I've written in my journal for around a month. I still remember a dream a night, however, and I feel I should resume that journal now that I've joined this site. The dreams themselves are horrible; the detail is lacking, my mind drugged. Is this how it will always be? I've managed to improve the detail in one of the dreams to lifelike qualities for a few seconds, so I know that's possible, but will my mind ever feel truly awake in a dream?
My current hope is for a WILD. Hopefully, going straight from the real world to a dream will eliminate that drowsiness, and allow me to really learn how to control my dreams. I've been seriously wanting these dreams lately - my days feel shorter than ever now, and I would love an hour, or as rumors go, maybe up to a day or a week of freedom. I feel that it would be fascinating to wake up, probably in the middle of a summer break, after being in a dream for a month or a year. That would be an interesting feeling indeed...
The big roadblock to me WILDing, however, is actually achieving it. One part is my will - it seems impossible for me to wake up early in the morning and actually find the willpower to WILD instead of falling asleep. The second is actually doing it - There are times where I've lain in bed for a half an hour to an hour and got nothing but major disorientation - The feeling I had was interesting. It felt as if my bed, with me on it, was spinning through space. I've also had trouble actually getting H.I. - there are two exceptions to this that I remember, however. The first was during a minor WILD attempt at about 5:00 PM, and I was kind of into it, but it wasn't too serious. The primary bit I remember here is temporarily seeing the silhouette of a military-class helicopter fly overhead, with appropriate sounds. I don't know whether this was my overactive imagination or actual imagery/sound. The second was more far-fetched: After beating Half-Life 2 for the first time, which took about two days worth of playing, probably twelve hours total time, it was past midnight, and whenever I closed my eyes, my mind would start running through scenes from HL:2! It was exceptionally strange - they didn't appear on the inside of my eyelids, but in the mind's eye, where I believe HI should be.
I also very recently got my first stab at SP. While laying down to go to bed, I tried a bit of meditation, trying to communicate with my subconscious (psionics and the related topics are another interest of mine), and I posed the question, "Where am I going?" I relaxed and let an image emerge, and emerge it did. I got a basic image of me soaring down a road, constantly turning right (my head was tilted right at that point in time), passing first a lighthouse and going along a cliff near the sea, then through a desert. Then, in an instant, I felt this odd (perhaps tingly) sensation for a fraction of a second, and I seemed to have trouble breathing. This, as I see it, could have happened two ways - it could have been SP kicking in, or I could have forgotten to breath, and as a result, by body informed me of it with that pulse. That would have been truly strange, however. After this incident, I probably tried to regain control of my breath, which drew me out (the wrong way!) of SP. My limbs (particularly fingers - I always try to move them first) were heavy, but movable. This heaviness, sometimes extreme, is common. I've never experienced total paralysis, however.
Alright, I'm going to end this wave of text here. I feel that I've suitably gave my life story... and I better get off to bed. I'll leave other incidents for a later time.
Thank you, Dreamviewers, for reading this and keeping such a wonderful forum. Hopefully, you can answer some of my questions here, about that drowsy feeling, HI, and SP, and I can advance to actually LDing again, because I could really use a 25-hour day (or 26, for that matter).
Good Day,
Zen Outlook
PS: A note on the name : I created that name before I knew the religion existed. Funny that some of my beliefs and the name coincide.
