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well most of the time i have these dreams where
i dont know that im dreaming but i can control myself anyway
i dont get it
like this one where im sitting in a chair(this is before i knew about all this) and i concentrate so hard that i beging to move stuff with my mind and i can fly and shoot fireballs
can anyone explain that
That's just dream control without lucidity, it's quite common. With any luck you'll be just as good with dream control when you are lucid.
it would have been nice if i knew to notice that what i was doing wasnt real
In dreams we do impossible things a lot of the time and think nothing of it. Which is where reality checks come in, as well as being done when strange things happen, try and make them a habit to do every now and then as well, it'll increase your chances of doing it in one of these dreams.
An alternative approach could be to visualize having control like you do in real life then do a reality check afterwards. It's what I used to do with one of my dreams signs I don't encounter in day to day life. It worked quite well I found.