noobe needs clarification
so i'm sleeping, and i feel this weird rush in my brain. at first i'm not sure what it is but then i get distracted by this dream.
i haven't yet been able to see myself in my dreams or feel myself so everything is through my eyes and i usually have to dream that i'm looking at myself. what i'm getting at is i don't think i've attained the ability to feel like my dreaming-life is my reality while living it...while dreaming.
anyway, so here's a run-down on the dream, not exactly forwards or backwards:
At some point I did some reality checks because I had been reading about them earlier that day. There's a clip-lamp right by my bed and I twisted on and off and it told me that I was dreaming because it would only cast a burst of light when I looked away. I did not catch on that I was dreaming from this cue. The dream continues, I do some movement around my room that I don't recall details about. Tom Hanks rents this room in a hotel and also plays the guitar. He dreams about this girl down the hall. This girl rents a room down the hall and dreams about meeting Tom Hanks at his car when he's going to leave. So Tom is leaving one day and asks for the key to her room, which he is granted for some odd reason. He goes down there and looks around in her room and realizes that this was definitely in his dream. Again, lots of details skipped here, kind of filling in what I think might have happened. They meet at the car later on and she looks inside his backseat and for some reason, other than the fact that she knows she would meet him here, realizes that it was him she was dreaming of. The weirdest part was that Tom, or someone, was then playing the guitar on some weird scene where this giant white sheet was being whipped off of some wooden monument behind them. More reality checks that confuse me because there is this weird burst of light after I look away. I hear my roommate Brian moving in the kitchen. This was also weird: There was this strange blue light emanating from my clip lamp and my desk lamp (might explain the motions about the room) and I could not figure out what it was. It wasn't very bright but not too dim to notice either. Kind of like there was a filter over my eyes and so the light reflections and refractions and glares were all taken away and all you could see was a glowing bulb that was completely lilac-y-blue. Next thing I know, there is this woman's head rotating in my bed and I grab it to face it towards me and this body materializes from it. This is what tipped me off that I was dreaming. Suddenly we're on one of those flat moving belts that you walk on in airports, lying next to each other, talking about how important skin is. We're moving through this city scene, as though we were placed on top of a moving background or green-screen. Then I realized what I just did with the head and how I made a body materialize and I remember saying "I'm dreaming." and I woke up. I could tell this time because I checked my clip-lamp and it definitely worked.
so that was mildly expansive. it was at this point when recording what i remembered in my bed-side journal that i thought of that brain-rush to be the reversal of the first four stages of sleep into REM sleep rather than becoming lucid. i think i missed the lucid boat by telling myself i was dreaming, and then getting excited (even though i don't remember that part). that's one of the possibilities i think could have woken me up, you might have a better one though.
am i right to think that's what that brain-rush was?
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