False Awakenings- Sort of?
I had a series of weird and almost traumatizing experiences a few hours ago. I went to sleep at about 8:30 am and woke up around 9:30 am. I have never had Lucid Dreams or False Awakenings though I have tired having lucid dreams by using Binaural beats but to no avail last time I tried was about a few days ago. Anyways after i woke up I instantly opened notepad and wrote a journal of the events. Sorry bout the grammatical errors I was a bit frantic as my memory was fading..
False Awakening Journal # 1:
I still do not know if this is real or not, I am assuming I have finally awoken for real based on a veriety of reasons. My mind is telling me to write down everything I remeber before I forget and for reasons of sanity I shall follow to do so.
Order of events are as Follows:
"Real" dream (Intentional Dream. Impossible events happening, Abnormal surooundings. Typical Dreams.)
False Awakeaning 1 (First false awakening explain more in detail later.)
False Awakening 2 (second False awakening explain more in detail later.)
False awakening 3 (third false awakening explain more in detail later.)
Hallucintory sequence (explain more later.)
Actual Awakening ( I hope)
Real Dream, as far as I can remeber:
At school, offered to smoke marijuana, lose my friends I see them smoking without me. Find another friend and the police come and start asking question about the school not paying taxes I notice that I am not at MY school I do not seem to let this bother me I find it normal. Fades away....
False Awakening 1, as much as I can remeber:
I remeber opening my eyes and feeling EXTREMELY tired as if I hadn't slept AT ALL, remeber seeing my mom in my bed and find it normal and weird at the same time. I proceed to get up to go to the washroom (I forgot to mention I am in my house at all time, my house looks as it is in the real world.) The thing that jumps out at me when i go to teh washroom are my eyes they are Porcelin white and extremely glassy i remeber thinking this might be a disease of narcolepsey or of some sort... I go back to my bed and find my mom isn't there I do not know the time but I think it is about 11 Am ( i went to sleep at around 8 am) I hear my mom saying "Malcolm's gonna have a hard time getting up..." I find this weird as my moms boyfriend is here this early I remeber thinking if this is a dream and i needed to do a reality check so i tried biting my arm i heard somewhere you can't bite your arm in a dream i feel some sort of pain but it feels unreal i look down to my arm where im supposed to be biting and my head is resting on my arm and I can feel the grasp of sleep getting me it is unfightable as I drift back into a hard sleep..
False Awakening 2, as much as I can remeber:
I remeber opening my eyes with the same feeling of severe tiredness. NOTE: this tiredness is like nothing I've ever felt it's hard to walk it is hard to see properly my eyes shutting close every second its a struggle just to keep them open.. I remeber the last false awakening but I still have not processed through my brain that it was a false awakening and I Think it was a true awakeaning. I try getting up but it is hard. It is hard to talk. I try biting my arm again with the same result as last time and i almost fall asleep again. I get up and at this point my memories starting to fade... Last thing I remeber about this false Awakening is drifintg off to sleep with an immense sense of panic of not being able to stay awake.. PS> just remeberd a new fact I became franticly furious when i discovered my headphones had been broken..this either happend during the first false awakening or 2nd I cannot remeber.
False Awkaening 3, as much as I can Remember:
I remember opening my eyes aware of the last two false awakening but I still think they are real. Same feeling of tiredness and panic ensue at the thought of something being wrong with me. I get up and go to my moms room and get a juice box i find it weird the place they are hidden and the fact that I knew exactly where they were I shrugged it off to coincidence. I don't remeber drinking the juice but i remember throwing out the empty box. As I start feeling the grasp of the sleep i try biting my arm furiously and to no avail but I still could not get it through my mind that it is a false awakening. My mom comes into my room and gives me a bowl of ice cream and chocolate when I ask why she says "To help you get bcak to normal" I leave it under my pillow in a vain attempt of it helping me. As i try looking around for the time I can not fight the sleep any longer. My last thought is "I'm going to have to go to the hospital somethigns wrong with me.."
NOTE: After this false awakening I have maany "mini" false awakenings where i just wake up and go back to sleep and too numerous for me to write down in detail. To me it seemed like a hallucinitory sequence everything spinning, random thoughts flowing in my head. etc etc
Actual Awakening:
I rember still being in the false awakeing (as I look back on it now..) I thought i needed to go the hospital I kept thinkiong somethings wrong with my brain and I altered my chemical balance last time I smoke Marijuana.. I started feeling a tingling in my right hand ( I always sleep with my hand under my pillow eventually cutting circulation to it I always thought it was annoying but now I'm thanful/ ) The tingling got stronger as the spinning from my halicinitory sequence got stronger eventually i opened muy eyes the spinning stopped, and I gained control of my senses the feeling of tiredness went away and i shot up and looked around at my sorroundings and it looked exactly as it did in my false awakening I knew just by the way i felt that it was real i looked at my clock and what seemd like hours was only actually about 45 min of sleep...
P/S: after reading this I remembered some details of how the world looked through my eyes. The world looked cloudy, glossy its hard to explain but I found it normal never did it cross that it was a fake world even after the failed attempts of reality checks.. .please reply back im afraid to fall asleep lol this made me think that there is no way for me to discern reality and dreams very frightening indeed.
P/P/S: I mention Marijuana use in my journal... I tried it 2 or three times and out of those three times I had a horrible trip.. Which ensued in panic attacks for a short while that was about in mid april... I concluded I have a hypersensitivity to THC and more than 1 puff was too much yeah the fear in the dream was that i had messed with my brain somehow just to clarify that..
