Failing to seed dreams

I may not be a newbie, but my friend asked me a question today that I could not answer, and he is very new to the dream scene, so I decided to let you people have a go at helping him out:

what does it mean when we don't dream of something we want to?
if there's something you want to dream about
but it's never in your dreams

I gave him some general directions for attaining lucidity but I thought it strange that he is unable to dream about something that takes up so much of his attention. (i assume) Any ideas why he is unable to dream about this?
(probably love related, I will ask him next time we speak)

Thats a good question. I am just going to take a guess at it. Your experience many different things everyday. Even if you do focus on one thing alot, sometimes you may not get that dream. I have focused on one thing alot before hoping I would dream it but failed. I am guessing once you can become an expert at lucid dreaming that you would be able to alter the dream to your liking. This is something I am hoping to accomplish someday.

Well this was just my guess. I could be wrong.

it's possible that he is dreaming of it and just doesn't know that he is. dreams aren't literal. (he could have dreams with Jill in them who is really Amy in disguise.)

maybe it's not working it's way into his dreams because he isn't thinking about it enough to make it a significant enough portion of his subconscious.

I know you have told him about some basic LDing stuff but make sure he knows that he can make this thing manifest in his lucid dreams.

Also, be sure to give him the link to DV. :)

I'm guessing it's because he tries to dream about something, but each time he's unsuccessful, he just expects to be more unsuccessful.

I mean, when he asked you a question, he said it himself that he "doesn't dream about something" he wants to. If he expects to fail, why would he succeed?

Either way, to dream specifically about something, I'd suggest something like MILD. But if you're doing MILD anyway you might as well try to get lucid.

If this person's dreams mirror the real world (that is to say they dream about real world scenarios; everyday life) then their question could already be answered. If this thing he 'wants' isn't already showing up in day to day life in the real world, it's likely that's the reason it doesn't show up in their dreams. They can even end up thinking, "I want this" while they're dreaming, but because they don't expect that thing to materialize out of nowhere, it stays that way, and nothing happens.

In the tutorial section there is a post about how dreams are created, I suggest you point your friend there. Dreams are made up of things from throughout the day that your brain finds important, as well as random filler. :)