Ok, I'm going to copy this from my Dream Journal to see what you all think. I *think* I had my first DILD (or DIELD? I get them mixed up) last night, but now that I am awake, I'm starting to doubt myself. Can anyone glance at this and see if it sounds....right? I worry that I've read so much about LD in the past few days that I dreamt that I had an LD, but at the same time it felt so very, very real. :shock:
Spoiler for Dream behind this tag!:
I fell asleep around midnight, repeating to myself, "I will remember my dreams. I will become aware in my dreams," over and over. I remember vaguely drifting away and not being able to focus on the mantra, then waking up feeling some anxiety about not being focused on it. I fell asleep and, at least right now, don't recall any dreams I had before my alarm went off. At 5:00 AM, my alarm went off and I got up, used the bathroom, and crawled back into bed, checking my other alarms for work. I remember thinking, "Ok, time to try this DILD method you read about last night."
I laid on my back, which is not a normal position for me to sleep in, closed my eyes, and tried to focus on the mantra again. This time, I started to feel as though my arms and hands were very heavy withing a minute or so, and almost as though all of my muscles were twitching at once. It was as if there was a strong current running through my body - I assume this was the onset of sleep paralysis. I recall feeling somewhat frightened, as the feeling was so powerful, and I felt myself waking up in fear. Just as quickly, I reminded myself that there wasn't anything to be afraid of, closed my eyes, and felt the same current begin again. This time, I could see dozens of colors twisting and forming behind my eyelids - the shapes reminded me of the old slime from Nickelodeon shows - glistening, fluid in movement, big and small blobs. I think my breathing sped up a little, and then it was as if the colors in front of my eyes "shattered" away. The darkness lifted as if I was watching a scene in a movie where the camera "opens its eye."
I looked down and could see my left arm and hand at my side (which is *not* where they were, I had my arms crossed on my chest), and I remember thinking "Ok, go ahead and try to lift it without waking yourself up." I lifted my arm off of the bed and watched as an image of my arm and hand stayed in the same position, but the dream arm raised up. I noticed that I had on a pair of old PJ pants that I haven't worn in a decade. The feeling of thinking to myself that I was lucid was so powerful and then I opened my eyes and woke up.
I was disappointed at first but then ecstatic that I had finally experienced a LD. Shame on me, I didn't write anything down, but repeated over to myself the pattern of the pants I had seen in the dream, and curled back up to go to sleep. I thought about trying again, but I felt very worn out and thought it would be best to sleep soundly the last couple hours.
Now...upon waking, I wonder if I didn't just dream all of this? Or if it really was a LD? It felt so very, very real - but at the same time I know my history of dreams, and I know that I am capable of "feeling" very powerful sensations in them without being lucid. I want to say it was a real LD, and I believe that it was a real LD, but everything always seems so easily confused and distorted upon fully waking!
06-24-2010, 03:59 PM
Philosopher8659
Yes, you were lucid. Do not worry much about the kind of experiences, as long as you are aware that you are in fact dreaming. Good show. Secondly, I do not even bother to know or use all the other fancy names, because as one progresses, --- well, there is so much more.
You will find, if you pursue it in the right manner, that much of what is written is done so not out of knowledge, but out of a desire for profit. You approached it the right way, set yourself a goal. Now, it is this that is of importance. The goals you set and your resolve to achieve them are going to be your best allies--along with a great deal of self-criticism and desire for understanding. If you have what it takes, you will go far beyond what is currently tauted about the practice.
06-24-2010, 04:01 PM
thomulf
wow
I have never even had anything close to that yet! I hope I will in future. It sounds pretty much authentic to me. Enjoy your holiday!:shadewink:
06-24-2010, 08:37 PM
Tsahvan
Thank you both for the support! I guess it was a little bit of an, "Ok, tell me I'm not completely crazy," post - especially as no one in my immediate life really has an interest in or understanding of LD. So thank you :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosopher8659
Yes, you were lucid. Do not worry much about the kind of experiences, as long as you are aware that you are in fact dreaming. Good show. Secondly, I do not even bother to know or use all the other fancy names, because as one progresses, --- well, there is so much more.
I'm glad you mentioned this - I definitely do feel overwhelmed by all of the "types" of LD...the tutorial section of this site has been my home the last few days, just reading and trying to understand, and I think I've somewhat psyched myself out with all of that. I finally found DILD and that seemed to make the most sense, but then again I guess I also use parts of WILD to get myself asleep - who knows!?! It comes to each as it is going to work for them, I suppose.
