Thread: Bullying you could say.

Describe how you are being bullied. Bullies pick up on the vibe you give off (especially insecurity), you can stand up to them without punching them. If you hit them, you'll most likely make a permanent enemy out of them, plus these days a punch can equal an assault charge...

Yeah, don't fight them. These days, if even being 3 ft. near a school fight lands you in ISS, imagine if you were in the fight.

Talking to a teacher (or counselor, or even the Principal) does help. If anything it's someone to confide in when there may be no one else. In my experience, teachers are quick to get the bullies off your back, sometimes for good. It also doesn't hurt to tell a parent, either. Some may say that's a bit extreme, but it's not.

In any case, your bullies don't sound so tough, so ignore them. They'll move on once they get the message that they don't pressure you anymore. If not, well, there's always doing what I said above.

Fight them there is no other way take it from me. I've been in this situation before where bullies would pick on me. But I always use to fight them and I would win my battles and sometimes lose them. But I always stood my ground as you should. Punks like these are nothing but losers they go pick fights but they don't know is that you'll pick back.

During P.E. the gym teacher told me to open the gym door and was about too but the bully came and got in front of me and looked at me menacingly, He would hit rubber bands at me, and pushed me even and said, "What are going to do about that?" I just walk away though. He even pushed me almost looking for a fight in front of someone taking notes of the P.E. class and said, "stop it guys" and the bully said, "your not a teacher, why should I listen to you?" He stopped anyway. I fear it might end up in a fight if this continues. What type of stuff should I do to stand up to him?

Originally Posted by Raetin

During P.E. the gym teacher told me to open the gym door and was about too but the bully came and got in front of me and looked at me menacingly, He would hit rubber bands at me, and pushed me even and said, "What are going to do about that?" I just walk away though. He even pushed me almost looking for a fight in front of someone taking notes of the P.E. class and said, "stop it guys" and the bully said, "your not a teacher, why should I listen to you?" He stopped anyway. I fear it might end up in a fight if this continues. What type of stuff should I do to stand up to him?

See in a situation like that I would sock the guy in the face. But I see that your in school so I would say wait until after school. You can call him out and take him down. But if your scared or anything I wouldn't do it seeing has you'll always lose a fight when your scared. Don't let him get the upper hand by bullying you get at him first.

Originally Posted by Raetin

During P.E. the gym teacher told me to open the gym door and was about too but the bully came and got in front of me and looked at me menacingly, He would hit rubber bands at me, and pushed me even and said, "What are going to do about that?" I just walk away though. He even pushed me almost looking for a fight in front of someone taking notes of the P.E. class and said, "stop it guys" and the bully said, "your not a teacher, why should I listen to you?" He stopped anyway. I fear it might end up in a fight if this continues. What type of stuff should I do to stand up to him?

How old are you? This guy doesn't sound very smart. You should just embarrass him. Make him look stupid in front of everybody. Chances are he annoys other people as well and they'll back you up.

Bullies can pick up on your frustration, but they get extremely frustrated themselves when you stay calm. Don't give him what he wants (a fight in this case).

Originally Posted by MrBlonde

See in a situation like that I would sock the guy in the face. But I see that your in school so I would say wait until after school. You can call him out and take him down. But if your scared or anything I wouldn't do it seeing has you'll always lose a fight when your scared. Don't let him get the upper hand by bullying you get at him first.

Are you a redneck?

Originally Posted by Spartiate

Are you a redneck?

Why would I be a redneck? Because I don't like being bullied? He doesn't have to follow my advice you know. He can do whatever he wants. I was just giving him advice like everyone else here.

Bullies are IRL trolls. The only reason they continue to pick on you is because you react exactly how they want you to. If you put on your best stoic persona, they'd get bored pretty quick once they fail to entice a reaction. There are easier targets out there. Remember, folks...do not feed the trolls.

Don't fight in school. If you get in a fight you get suspended, and that just causes more trouble. I knew people who got beat up and didn't fight back, and they still got suspended. Don't fight near school either. If you really going to fight, wait until you get home and then go beat them up.

Though the best option is just walk away.

I get dirty looks from a few select people in my grade; I suppose one could say they're the clique-y girls with their heads stuck up their butts. I just ignore what they do; after all, I get enough satisfaction from punching them out in my dreams.

Don't start a fight, it just makes you look like the bad guy. Just shout at them to "f*** off"; one of the people in my school did that to some bullies and they backed right off.

Fighting is inversely proportionate to IQ (or sobriety). Getting into fights just makes you look like a dumb hothead that has no way with words...

Get used to dealing with people like this without your fists, cause if you try that as an adult it'll mean getting fired or jailed.

Fight them...

....intellectually.

They might have muscles, but I bet they would have a hard time rationalizing their tendencies. Even if that wouldn't stop them, it could put you in the psychological power seat.

Forgive me if this just wouldn't work. I have no experience with bullies.

Wow a lot of people responded on this, Thanks. I'll do my best to ignore or intellectually fight them. Who has some good comebacks? (lol)

Edit: I think I'm probably the youngest here in this forum (13). I bet I'm a lot different from other 13 year olds. (No cussing, has virtues, do my homework, and lucid dreaming)

Originally Posted by Spartiate

Fighting is inversely proportionate to IQ (or sobriety). Getting into fights just makes you look like a dumb hothead that has no way with words...

Get used to dealing with people like this without your fists, cause if you try that as an adult it'll mean getting fired or jailed.

Are you talking about me? I was speaking of when I use to get bullied and how I would react to a bully. I don't do that now am more mature. I talk things out or ignore it completely. Though if I was in the right situation I could still get into fights( But I won't ever be). You portray me has someone who wants to fight people for no reason. I am here to tell you am not that person.

Originally Posted by Raetin

Wow a lot of people responded on this, Thanks. I'll do my best to ignore or intellectually fight them. Who has some good comebacks? (lol)

Edit: I think I'm probably the youngest here in this forum (13). I bet I'm a lot different from other 13 year olds. (No cussing, has virtues, do my homework, and lucid dreaming)

I hardly cuss either, and I too do my homework, have virtues, and study hard for school.

Originally Posted by Raetin

I think I'm probably the youngest here in this forum (13). I bet I'm a lot different from other 13 year olds

Well, that explains a lot. Wait until you get into highschool. From my experience, everyone is more mature and easier to get along with unless you've been put into a lower-math class or something. I was in a writing class that was a step down from the rest of 9th grade, they were full of idiots and it felt good to go to my next class with civilized people.

Handling the bully thing, I agree with both Mario and Snowy Egypt. If you show them that you are unresponsive, they should get bored with you. I probably wouldn't try to make comebacks because you may run out of things to say, then it'll just make shit worse.

Originally Posted by Raetin

I bet I'm a lot different from other 13 year olds (No cussing, has virtues, do my homework, and lucid dreaming)

You're always welcome around here man

Originally Posted by Mario92

Bullies are IRL trolls. The only reason they continue to pick on you is because you react exactly how they want you to. If you put on your best stoic persona, they'd get bored pretty quick once they fail to entice a reaction. There are easier targets out there. Remember, folks...do not feed the trolls.

But then again, if they pick up on the fact that you are trying to appear stoic but are internally irritated, they will continue. There is no easier target than one which offers no defense. If you can actually manage to not be bothered by what they do and say, then you have won. They will be looking for signs of irritation and they may pick up on even very small ones. Merely pretending to them won't likely work, as even small hints can betray your bluff.

An effective solution, if you can manage it, is to acknowledge their taunts for what they are. They're just mindless taunts. Probably no one will even remember tomorrow. Probably no one really cared in the first place, even if they did laugh at you. But that can be harder than it seems. Even the most inane comments can be very frustrating, either in spite of their inanity or because of it. People will tell you to ignore it, but that's not a good solution. If it were that simple, you'd not have a problem. So I suggest that you should accept their insults. Not that you should believe them, or give in to them, but rather take them and file them away with all that other stuff you heard and didn't care about. They're just insults. It's easy to allow yourself to be insulted by them. It takes some work to think about it and realize what they mean and where they come from. You see, you're making it easy for them to antagonize you if you allow even very simple, stupid things to affect you. But they don't have to.

So to summarize, I'm not saying ignore what they say and offer no defense. Your defense should be a passive one which renders their attack ineffective. Consider the source and consider the content and decide if it's really a valid comment and respond based on that. The response you will have upon recognizing a petty insult for what it is should naturally be one of apathy.

I don't reccommend violence unless they physically attack you, in which case do what you have to.

I'm not so sure what it's like in middleschool, but in highschool respect is a pretty huge thing, especially among males. A lot of times guys will slowly start to mess with each other and they will keep pushing the limits until the victim asserts his boundaries. If you tell your teachers, even though it is the right thing to do, it may cause your peers to lose respect. This may cause other people to start messing with you. Telling your teachers may not even make the bully stop, but he may start bullying you in a way that's invisible to the radar of the teachers. It should be noted that if very few other kids know what has been going on, respect is pretty much a non-issue.

Let me educate you on the difference between self defense and just plain fighting. First of all, it doesn't matter who starts the fight if both participants appear fully engaged in it. Second, if somebody punches you, you have every right to punch them back for the purposes of subduing them so that they cannot cause further harm to you. In other words, if somebody punches you, then you punch them square in the face causing them to fall back on their ass, and you don't pursue violence against them any further, that is self defense. However, if somebody punches you, then you punch them back and start wailing on them relentlessly, you are no longer defending yourself. So if it does come to violence, you've got to make it seem like you're the victim, like you don't want to be there and are trying to get away.

People normally won't follow you around. If you walk away, they will normally follow you to the exit of the room, or down a hall but that is about it.

Originally Posted by Raetin

I bet I'm a lot different from other 13 year olds

"Vox populi, vox humbug"
-William Tecumseh Sherman

I've not been bullied, but I have dealt with catty comments and dumb-ass neds. The way I act usually puts them off. I make myself appear more amused that they're even trying to get me started. If they continue further I'll let them know how pathetic they are whilest humiliating them in front of as many people as I can. They won't try it again... What I do sometimes is make them seem funny to their own friends, it puts them right down because they no longer have the support of their followers.

If it comes to fighting, I suggest doing what Black_Eagle said.

Thing is, you're in middleschool. I doubt they've got a huge group trying to get at you. And remember, bullies always choose people they think is weaker than themselves, so don't appear that way. Sit up, look them in the eye and don't flinch. Be comfortable in your own skin

Man, I was probably one of the nerdiest kids in my class and I didn't get bullied very much at all. Usually if somebody tried anything, I'd just fight them. My older brother got taunted a lot by a classmate and he simply beat the guy up, which made him back off. I don't see the problem with beating up bullies at all. Sure, you could argue that respect is better than fear, but it's not like you want the respect of bullies in the first place. Screw them.

Beat him up outside of school, not during. Duh

It depends upon the psychological make up of the individual involved. You are, after all, trying to teach. On the cowardly type, smacking them usually helps very well, however, on the macho type, embarassment works wonders. For the angry type, ignoring them is a frustration they cannot endure.

You have to remember, you are not responding to unjust acts, but human psychology. The response is measured to that.

You will find that you have to learn this even to raise children--you can only teach them with what they respond to. Most will tell you that this type or that type of response is good or bad, but they are not addressing the problem--