Last night sucked. I hit an all time low and felt worse than a sack of shit doused in bile.
But I got it all out of my system and I feel better now. =D
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Last night sucked. I hit an all time low and felt worse than a sack of shit doused in bile.
But I got it all out of my system and I feel better now. =D
(((((Gavin))))) Glad you're feeling better.
I took 2 caffeine pills at 7AM or so, I was awake until around noon then I crashed all freagin day. My p-doc prescribed a higher dose of Nuvigil, but I can't fill it for at least an other week.
Good news... I shut off my computer and the kids got their chores done *WOOT* I gave up my password to my oldest son, while I was sleeping though after he finished his jobs, so I'll have to change my password now lol
HOLY FUCK MY ALLERGIES ARE FUCKING ASS ASS FUCK I CANT BREATHE AT ALL :mad: TO TOP IT ALL OFF....... um..... I FUCKING FORGOT :mad: FUCK ALLERGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope your allergies go away soon.
My freagin fatigue is seriously getting on my last nerve. I slept about 20 hours today. How the heck can a person sleep as much as I do and yet still be sleepy?
And my daughter's annoying me. I have to pay thousands of dollars in truancy fees because I can't get her to go to school normally. Now she's fighting with me because she wants to go to school tomorrow until 10:30. She has to turn in her schedule for next year. But more than that, she wants to show off her dislocated shoulder.
Hubby DID count the money against me... but he eventually gave in and gave me $100. today. He docked $50. and I have to drive 3 hours for daughters MRI on Wednesday. WTH? My hubby drives me so insane sometimes!
But, good news is that 3 puppies went to their new homes today. Now we have 2 males left which we're keeping. One of our kittens almost had a new home, but she hid :D'
Our animal hording days are almost through. We're down to 4 cats and 3 kittens... plus the 2 dogs.
I've been awake for a little over 6 hours. *WOOT!*
But I want to go back to sleep... yet can't. My room is the only place with a working AC. It was SO hot in the trailer today that I have my daughter and her friend sleeping in my bed *grumble/grumble* Looks like I'll have to make due with the floor.
My only rant so far today is about my idiot 16 yo son. He had a collar on the puppy too tight and now the poor things neck is yucky. I have to doctor it. It's not too bad though. Thankfully, my 14 yo daughter noticed the collar was biting into his neck.
Good news: I fell asleep on a blanket on my floor. My cellphone alarm woke me and my daughter. She looked at me and told me she loves me :D I asked why and she said because I gave them my bed when I could've kicked them out :smitten: She's not said that in so long I can't remember the last time. She tried to go to school today, but I picked her up before 9.
I finally feel awake for the first time in days. My daughter said I had a fever last night, but other than fatigue I felt fine.
Okay, another rant: My daughter's in the 8th grade. There's a classmate who's HIV positive but sleeping around. My daughter is a breath away from getting into a major fight with the girl because the girl has had sex with 3 of my daughters friends. The girl knows she's HIV positive but doesn't care. I've tried talking my daughter into seeing the counselor about this, but she wont (she and the counselors don't get along). And my daughter refuses to tell me who the girl is. I feel like I should say something to someone but don't know how when I'm lacking important info.
Anytime i join a lobby in Black Ops zombies, it takes forever, then we finally get 4 people and then 2 leave, then the last one leaves -_-
I'm going to kill XBL.
I'm trying To innocently join a freaking zombie match, I KEEP GETTING PUT IN THE SAME GROUP WITH PEOPLE I PLAYED WITH YESTERDAY WHO SUCK
OR
I FINALLY GET IN A MATCH AFTER 30 MINUTES THEN EVERYONE LEAVES ONE BY ONE
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU U
WHY IS THE GAME LOBBY CLOSING RIGHT WHEN I GET IN A MATCH THATS ABOUT TO START.
WHY
:roll: So much for feeling awake. I fell asleep before noon and I'm just now getting up. This is getting fracking ridiculous.
That feeling you get after eating a whole box of milk duds, a Hershey bar and a banana split? Yeaaaaaahh. I'm on a sugar high right now. Wish I could falllllllll aslllllllleep or at least stop myself from spasticallllly hitting the L key. *eye twitches*
Can I borrow some of your tired Zhaylin?
ROFL!!! I wish I knew that feeling, Anthony. I've lived off sweets for so long caffeine has little to no effect on me whatsoever. I just took 2 caffeine pills with a swig of Coke and I could go right back to sleep. I don't know why I still bother trying.
*Gladly hands fatigue over to Anthony*
I bought a can of sardines and another of Oysters *gags*. They're high in Iron. I'll try eating them tomorrow. If my fatigue doesn't start going away, I'm going to make a Dr. appointment.
I felt this belongs here although I said it somewhere else :/
I see everything. I see the beauty of everything. Nobody else sees the beauty. They are blind. They float in a fog of thoughts that do nothing but destroy them. It takes them nowhere although they believe its taking them somewhere. The feel they need their thoughts. Why do you think? Why judge?? Whats the point? Its foolish. You know it makes you miserable. Then why do you so it? You fucking idiot!!! Just listen and see it!!! See the beauty in yourself. Get lost in you love for everything. Love your hate. Love it like your child. The child you created. He is your son yet you neglect him. He's so sad he just wants you to love him. but instead you just sit in a fog of nothing. Blind that your child is crying. He needs love. Why won't you love yourself? why won't you love your family? The family that is everywhere. The family called life. The life that flows through everything. It hurts. Its just as sad as you are. Yet you don't love it. You are lost in a fog. A fog of hate. Hate that you can't see through. Hate that you create all the time. Hate that makes you baby stronger. the baby that tortures you while you sleep. Because you won't love him. He hates you. He is killing you. He wants you to die. Fuck you!!!. Thats what he's thinking. He wants to kill you every moment of your life. Eating away at you. But you are so lost in the fog. You don't even see him. He's lurking in the fog. Waiting to kill you. You must love him. Or he will kill you. He will torture you till the day you die. There is nothing you can do to avoid him. He lives inside of you. You can't escape yourself. Only avoid yourself. Pretending it doesn't exist. But he will return and kill you. The hate boiling inside you. He loves you though. You only think he hates you. He just wants your love. You need him. And he needs you.
My dad came home early.
Not that I don't love my dad, I do. I just like "me" time. Alone, wandering 'round the house for a while.
Ugh... caffeine overdose. I'm shaking so badly I can barely type. I guess it doesn't help I've had nothing to eat since ??? 9 last night. I guess I'll either have some chili or try to eat some sardines :vomit:
I just re-dislocated my toe and had to pop it back in AGAIN. It hurts like a BITCH! Wtf I'm just going to cut it off. :angry:
OUCH!! (((((hugs BuriedMonsters)))))
Just got home from the other town. Turns out my daughters shoulder isn't dislocated. It's a multi-directional instability and she needs PhysicalTrainingTherapy.
It's miserably hot outside!!! My car has no working AC, traffic was at a stand still in places. Ugh. I am very glad to be home.
Time for a nap...
I feel like a mess full of expectations judgements and emotions. My life feels so just mess. I don't want anything. But I feel like such a mess. I wish someone just understood me. Nobody understands my mess. I don't want to need anyone. I don't want anything. I just want this mess of everything to go away. But I also want someone. someone who just understands and is there for me. But I don't want that. I want to be alone. I don't want to be dependent. I don't want to be lost in the bond of another. I just want me. I want me to be better. Not a mess.
We are all under the control of the system. It controls our every movement. We think we are free, we aren't. We think we are unique, we Aren't. We think our leaders tell the truth, They don't. Every moment of our lives we are influenced by the system. Your computer, Your TV, your social networking, your phone, your school, your workplace. They are all parts of the system, we can't escape it.
We all suffer terrible amnesia, what amnesia, you ask? Think back to last Tuesday, what did you do? where were you? what did you say? You can only just Remember. Now go back to the Tuesday before that, you can barely remember, and we go back to the Tuesday before that. You have totally forgotten. It due to the system, it distracts us, tells us what to think. Dreams Aren't real, so don't think about them.
Dreams are just as real as "reality" they have something special. Something the system doesn't want us to see. So it distracts us, we are all distracted, we distract each other. Hardly anyone knows the system even exists, some will furiously deny it. But no one will escape it. Once you realize the system, you will quickly forgot. Going about your mundane lives, thinking your unique, your special.
Well guess what. Your not. We all think, act and dress the same. In a few months I will have forgotten all about this, and so will you. I want to fight it, but I can't. I don't know how, the odds are already stacked against me and the rest of us. Its all smoke and mirrors, it has created a deception so big. No one will ever find out the true meaning. I Probably don't know true aspects of the system. I am been taken down a path, one that leads to nowhere, and once there, I will get back in line with the rest of system, Not thinking, not caring, yet under the delusion I do both.
Man... I hate walls of text. They're so demotivating.