Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I feel so loved Alyzarin and Link
I've been mostly playing Runescape. Haven't been feeling very social lately.

Sounds like I've missed a LOT- from car accidents to hit and runs... Ninja and everything in between. Deery, Puffin and anyone I may be missing.

I haven't been sleeping well and since last night I've been having major anxiety problems. OldSparta I definitely sympathize!! For me, it feels like I can't get enough air so I yawn.. and yawn... and yawn, until I'm physically in pain. It's a very slow and deep intake of breath but I still get hyper-oxygenated (hyperventilated?) and I feel so miserable I HAVE to go to sleep... then I toss and turn, have weird emotional nightmares and wake up only to do the same crap all over again.

So I'm currently very mad at my body. WTF?!!! I have NO stress going on at this time?! Why are you acting up NOW Insane Anxiety?!! But this is what always happens. I get through a stressful event and several DAYS later my body revolts. I don't see my p-doc until Wednesday, which is fine because I DON'T FEEL BLOODY STRESSED. What would I talk about? "Ehhh, just been video gaming, Farmvilling, DreamViewing and watching Hulu... oh, but I can't freagin breathe."

Mr.Monthly showed up this morning. He usually gives me some advance notice, but today I woke up and he had already arrived So, I've been having some backache from that.

I keep telling myself NOT to yawn, but it feels like I can't breathe any other way. I should just take a valium and quit for the day.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I feel so loved Alyzarin and Link
I've been mostly playing Runescape. Haven't been feeling very social lately.

Sounds like I've missed a LOT- from car accidents to hit and runs... Ninja and everything in between.

I haven't been sleeping well and since last night I've been having major anxiety problems. OldSparta I definitely sympathize!! For me, it feels like I can't get enough air so I yawn.. and yawn... and yawn, until I'm physically in pain. It's a very slow and deep intake of breath but I still get hyper-oxygenated (hyperventilated?) and I feel so miserable I HAVE to go to sleep... then I toss and turn, have weird emotional nightmares and wake up only to do the same crap all over again.

So I'm currently very mad at my body. WTF?!!! I have NO stress going on at this time?! Why are you acting up NOW Insane Anxiety?!! But this is what always happens. I get through a stressful event and several DAYS later my body revolts. I don't see my p-doc until Wednesday, which is fine because I DON'T FEEL BLOODY STRESSED. What would I talk about? "Ehhh, just been video gaming, Farmvilling, DreamViewing and watching Hulu... oh, but I can't freagin breathe."

Mr.Monthly showed up this morning. He usually gives me some advance notice, but today I woke up and he had already arrived So, I've been having some backache from that.

I keep telling myself NOT to yawn, but it feels like I can't breathe any other way. I should just take a valium and quit for the day.

You're back! Oh yeah, if you're just now hearing about the Ninja thing then you've got some catching up to do.

Anxiety sucks. I've been tolerating some as well, mostly my left arm's been tensing up all day, but only until I stop focusing on it. (A really frustrating symptom. ) Have you been doing breathing exercises like I told OldSparta to? That's what everyone would always tell me to do when I had panic attacks. Another trick I told him (in a PM, so I'll repeat it here) is to put on some calming music, or at least something that'll put you in a good mindset, that you know really well so that you can sing to it without having to focus on the words. That way even if you're anxious you'll still be able to sing along, and that'll encourage you to let more breath escape than enter you. That'll bring the stress levels down a bit, even though it seems like you'd want to do the opposite, but you're not actually suffocating. Plus, the music will help once you start becoming a little calmer. That's usually what I do when I'm a little too panicked to focus on just breathing, even if it doesn't help all the way it's better than nothing.

MY>>>>>>>>>FUCKING>>>>>>>>NETBOOK

I can't type a goddamn simple little post without somehow the shadow of a flea in left denver casts a shadow on the mousepad thingy and send my screen all wiggywonky and my post dissafuckingpears.

All I wanted to say to Zhaylin was i do the insomnia anxiety thing too. Don't want to say anymore than that because my assy netbook will fucking cockblock me again

That is unfortunate. I always copy and paste my longer messages into and out of Notepad or some other text editor while I'm writing them in case something like that happens.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

That is unfortunate. I always copy and paste my longer messages into and out of Notepad or some other text editor while I'm writing them in case something like that happens.

I am so incredibly doing that from now on, thanks Aly

Sad thing was it wasn't even that long. I just couldn't be bothered to type it out again, lazy ophelia.

I was going to say something else but I forgot. Great, now my mind and my netbook are plotting against me, erasing all my cute cleverness >

Originally Posted by tommo

Why are you trying to diverge people away from suspicion, HUH!?

Divert.... was the word I was looking for.... Fuck my vocabulary....

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Really? Can you give an example?

The piano thread for example is the most recent one I can remember.

Originally Posted by tommo

What do you mean by previously mentioned occurrences?

.... everything I mentioned in my post. As in, before that sentence; previously.

Ophelia - My keyboard is fucking up, so I can feel your pain. The space bar is sticking and occasionally it just
types like 500 spaces while I'm thinking lol
Not as bad as entire post deletion though lol

Originally Posted by tommo

The piano thread for example is the most recent one I can remember.

Fair enough. I did read your post and keep it in mind as far as learning piano, though it didn't add too much.

I don't know why you'd accuse me of not helping others out or not caring, though. Seriously, what the hell, that is the worst thing you have ever said to me, on top of being obviously false. Are you trying to call me a selfish bitch or something? If you want to hate me, fine, but get your fucking facts straight, even READ the posts just before your attacking ones.

I'm not attacking you. I'm pointing out that you want from others but don't want to give.
Instead of getting angry you could try a little self-reflection.

Seriously, Tommo, GO FUCK YOURSELF. Are you motherfucking blind?!?!??! I HAVE HELPED PEOPLE OUT, GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK FUCKING SKULL. LOOK AT THE LAST POSTS I'VE MADE ON THIS THREAD. ADMIT THAT YOU'RE WRONG. I've been through a lot of crazy and unusual shit last night and now you ARE attacking me. I don't deserve this from you. HOW DARE YOU. I'm crying right now because of you, just so you know. You're being a horrible little shit and YOU need to apologize to me.

Y'aaaall, leave eachother alone.

I thought we rant and rave about stuff in life, not eachother here on DV

this thread is so weird

Well, why are you crying, exactly?

Ok... Whoa... Both of you settle. Tommo, for crying out loud. Keep your trap shut, you wouldn't like it if you got into an accident and we all started give you shit for it. Keep quiet, and keep you opinions to yourself at times like this.

@ deery, Glad your OK. Most Accidents like that end up much much. Glad you made it out with minor injuries.

Originally Posted by tommo

Well, why are you crying, exactly?

Because you're being an asshole to me after all I've been through, and I thought you were cooler than that. Obviously you're a worthless shit head, some random negative person online in another continent who doesn't know anything about me, and I shouldn't take your opinions seriously anymore, or associate with you at all for that matter. You come on here to personally attack me, whether you're man enough to admit it or not, and I don't deserve that. I don't need to apologize for anything, except for making a fuss about people not responding to me. YOU should apologize to me and realize what a douchbag you are, but I don't expect it and don't care anymore.

My biggest flaw is tying my entire self worth and reason to live off of what other people think of me. Your opinions now mean nothing to me.

Ok, WHOA! Enough member bashing. There are nice ways to explain things. If you two want to argue, argue in PM's.

It's okay, I'm considering leaving Dreamviews for good anyways. It's not helping me with lucid dreaming anyway, it's just a source of negativity in my life and I should NOT be here after the craziness of last night.

Why? It's not like this is hindering you. if you need a break, by all means go for it. But don't leave for good

I'm with OldSparta here. I don't blame you for being emotional, I can see leaving for a while to cool off and deal with things in the real world. If being here's just hurting you right now then you should definitely take a break, but that doesn't mean you have to leave for good. Or at the very least, even if you do you don't have to decide that now. I think everyone'll need a break now and then.

GODAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a beautifully phrased thing for Deery and the god damned cyber fucking space ate it again. I should have listened to Alyzarin.

I'll sum up:

Deery, stay. Life sucks on forums AND in life. Chin up, you have friends here.

Please stay.

Thanks, guys. I'm sorry for being so over-the-top and aggressive most of the time. I will take a break.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Thanks, guys. I'm sorry for being so over-the-top and aggressive most of the time. I will take a break.

Just come back!

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

GODAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a beautifully phrased thing for Deery and the god damned cyber fucking space ate it again. I should have listened to Alyzarin.

Yes, you should have.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Thanks, guys. I'm sorry for being so over-the-top and aggressive most of the time. I will take a break.

Don't worry about it, Deery. Make the most of your break. We'll be waiting for you to return.

I only "liked" all that shit because I wanted to 'be there for you'

That said, you should buck up and not go on break. I know you feel that there are some aspects of this place that you may find to be an unhealthy environment for you. SO WHAT. You can express yourself anonymously here without repercussions in your actual life.

I have more to say but I just got distracted or something. Come back. Or be wimpy.

Shit. It was Meeps, then Carrot rarely comes on, and now Deery?

Well, I hope you enjoy your break. To be honest, sometimes I want to stop trying to induce lucid dreaming myself because I'm too passionate about it because of the fact that I can use it to escape.

Yet I can never get lucid often because I mostly sleep abnormally, which messes up my REM, so I don't know if I'm going to get a rebound or not. Sometimes I wonder what's the use trying to build up recall and trying to remember random and pointless dreams if I can't get lucid and actually do what I want to do?

It just gets stressful, and some people say I should take a break, but I just can't do that! I don't want to forget my dreams, even if they suck, it's just nice to see how things can build up over the years. We live part of our lives dreaming, so why not use it while you can right? It's always a battle trying to get a decent sleep schedule to induce dreams, but 99% of my dreams are non-lucids, so I know I'm doing something wrong.

And I'm building up all this memory, and can remember most my dreams I've put in my journal up until now because of small bits of images.

And like what Alyzarin said, make the most out of your break, I hope you will come back with a passion to LD again, usually when you take a break, you'll start to miss the experience of trying to LD. I hope this passion becomes a part of you again when you do come back.

Even though I do seem to post silly rants about my life, I do keep a conscious check on others and sometimes just stay still in bed and just speculate on how much shit others have to go through. Sometimes I don't respond because I'm afraid my words might not be enough to portray what I'm really declaring (or too much to where it doesn't make sense )

It's hard trying to know yourself and establish a stable mindset, it really is some hard shit to deal with that sometimes it just becomes too overwhelming, but if you feel you need a break, do so, as long as it makes you content.

Even if we are all strangers to each other, it doesn't mean we can't at least empathize with each other because even though I do seem to post silly rants about my life, I do keep a conscious check on others and sometimes just stay still in bed and just speculate on how much shit others have to go through.

Sometimes I don't respond because I'm afraid my words might not be enough to portray what I'm really declaring (or too much to where it doesn't make sense )

Even if I do act like an idiot sometimes, I do try to be careful with people's feelings, because mine are just as fragile (so many thoughts operating at once, so many temptations that I'm surprised to even control them), and it would just make me feel horrible if I ended up being a hypocrite. (My mind really likes to play with me sometimes..fortunately, just on the mental side )

Be safe, and I hope you'll have peace of mind again when you come back. Adding dreaming to our lives is a challenge because it's mostly brief moments of passion that has to be refilled over and over to have consistent and positive results.

But you can do it, even though it sounds corny right now, all of the hatred, pain, and all negative experiences you've encountered, you should know that you endured through them and was able to cope with it.

That involves consistent courage to keep going, that's a part of you that you should be glad to have that you don't need others to help you be aware of.

I feel kind of weak and vulnerable saying this to you, but just know I'm saying this as honestly as I can Deery.

I always loved this quote that a character said in Tales of Symphonia that has motivated me,

"Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality."

It sucks feeling weak from time to time, but just know that courage will keep you going. It will get what you want in life.

Originally Posted by ThePreserver

Unless someone can make finding WORTHWHILE shit easier on the internet, the next generation is royally FUCKED.

A group-mate and I had to find an article that relates to the essay, "Why Do People Vote Republican?" But if you type in "Republican" in any search engine, you get 5 BILLION articles that all say the SAME EXACT SHIT. "Newt Gingrich is up in the polls, yada yada yada Mitt Romney."

It took us over an HOUR, or two man-hours, since there were two of us, to find a fucking REMOTELY relevant article. And the article isn't even that good.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO FIX THE INTERNET: It's FILLED WITH USELESS SHIT!

Yes. Only as the SEO industry pinnacles are most stakeholders realizing their "bought trouble" and the long-term futility of their efforts and investments. Google has morphed into a faulty search engine which no longer offers you optimized results (as was once its virtuous quest), but preferential results in an embarrassingly ironical hierarchy of who pays the most to blow Google's proverbial dong. Needless to say, so much sucking is taking place as the company endeavors to aggressively expand, that Google will soon not only choke on itself, but also publicly swallow its own potential to provide effective search results. Who will arise in entrepreneurial glory and take the lead when Google's end comes?