If people get emotional towards me while I'm in a fairly calm state, I can talk things out with them obviously. But if we're both emotional, it seems I'm just the more insecure one even though I'm sure my problems are just too petty for me to imply that. I just feel sad and depressed sometimes when I talk to someone I care about a lot not being able to see the logic behind their anxiety.
It's as if they don't think I never had suicidal thoughts, existential issues, solipsistic thoughts, murderous thoughts (very cruel ones). Sure, when a person can think clearly when they aren't anxious, that's perfectly reasonable. And even if I am anxious, I do realize fairly quickly that the thoughts are just temporary and are just simply distractions that prevent me from being who I want to be. It seems people try to rank who has the worse insecurities and problems, as if that's going to get them anywhere in life. I remember my Physics teacher in High school that stated a quote about how "Everyone has problems, some are just greater than others."
I understand that there are petty problems, and bigger problems, but the totality of that problem's intensity shouldn't be an excuse even for those who have a traumatic lifestyle (and traumatic is being a very loose term I'm using her). Whatever problems, no matter the intensity, is simply a person not letting themselve be aware of solutions they can take. I know this is completely invalid if someone had a terminal illness, but in terms of things that are just a mental distraction, it can definitely be diminished.
The same goes for friends as well, I've made some really good friends in my childhood, most I took for granted, but if someone is willing to make themselves feel guilty for an action they regret that possibly ruined the friendship, how could you use that single moment to justify how you'll interact with others. You're going to react differently to different people, so why feel that you aren't capable of moving on? Especially if you already acknowledged you made the mistake, and that you can do nothing about it, and yet still contemplate on the action....that's not you moving on at all.
We're going to have attachments to people and have a preset image of them that might never change no matter how much they grow, but to make your life a detriment just because you felt bad on what you did to them? It just doesn't really make sense, and it doesn't even matter if a person is selectively social or just gregarious naturally, but maybe it's because I just think that holding on to your friends like posessions seems worthless because there can be other people that could match them as well. Maybe not completely obviously, but generally, if they have a set of attributes that you prefer, you'll likely get the same result.
Maybe this is why I just think that if someone is so fixated on a person's existence for a particular insecurity, I just think (but not literally),
"What if they were shot right in front of you?"
You were so engaged into this person because they had qualities you like, and you treated them just as if you were taking a drug. You loved every aspect on how they made you feel, and the moment the supply/body is gone completely, it's suddenly the end of the world. You completely forget that simply showering yourself in pity and guilt over how you attach yourself to that person is just making you waste time in learning how to cope with it an move on. Simply speculating on it is not coping with it or trying to feel sympathetic or whatever, it's just denying that some things won't go your way when you start taking them for granted.
If the same scenario was for a family member, it wouldn't make sense since obviously familial roots would be more memorable. If a person didn't have that specific relative with their set of qualities that shapes who they are, they might have had a different crisis than before. Yes, the types of friends we're exposed to do have some substance in a person's collection of how they socialize with others, but it's not as powerful as from family. Even if a person's parents died, and relied on placing a father and mother figure on a friend that was way mature, it's still considered family to that person. But once that symbolism has been engrained, it's back to square one with how friends can come and go.