I've cried and complained on here, but I don't think I've ranted and raved, so here we go. Please not there is no advocacy meant to be implied in ANY of this, just an anecdotal report.
Last night I tripped on 4-ho-mipt, at 15mg, the second time i've used this substance. It was also my first time tripping indoors, which was very different. I was with my girlfriend in her room.
The comeup was bizarre, and being inside was unsettling. There were red lights, blacklights, and glowing stone lamps in the room, so the vibe was mystical. The comeup produced some anxious energy that soon channeled into a strange bodily euphoria, when I realized "aw fuck the anxiety, what a waste of my focus" and soon turned analytical, and by nature of the substance, more mindful and meditative. After the comeup, nothing felt like it could go wrong, though there was still some festering anxiety because of the bizarre alien atmosphere.
Things began to "breathe" and colours intensified, especially the hues of blue and cooler tones in the shadows of the room. A great deal of pink and "candy" looking things were around the room aswell. Backed up into the corner of the room, the round had a circular kind of fisheye effect which was awesome to just lay back with and watch the ceiling move (stucco ceiling). In the ceiling details there were some fractals being noticed, particularly from triangulation of patterns. The whole ceiling was essentially a "sky" filled with these:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...iangle.svg.png
After awhile of having fun with this, we decided to venture out to get some water, because our kidneys felt dry as hell, like empty balloons. I knew the floor would creak as we walked past Lindsey's parent's room, so I pointed for us both to walk along the wall (it never creaks if you do that), and then we ventured into the kitchen. It was so quiet that we could hear out heartbeats, and honestly, I thought it felt like her room was a space ship and we'd just stepped out into pure space. Quiet enough for a pin drop to be LOUD. We picked up a kitten while we were out there too, which was near someone who was sleeping on the couch, and took her into the room with us.
Back in the room we decided to try some nitrous, which was like turning the room into water basically. Everything was rippling fast, intensifying in vibration until it concentrated into a "buzz", which seemed to be organizing the stucco ceiling in sync with this, forcing it into the triangular fractal posted above, but 100% visually organized. I knew that as soon as I moved my eyes, it was going to change. It was great to see though, because it literally was perfectly rendered as a fractal (Lindsey had this happen too).
The next whippet in for me was more bizarre. I was in the corner, on a bed, but my head slightly tilted. Part of me wanted to lean my head back as the whippet came up, something felt "misaligned". I locked my head into the corner, perfectly 45 degrees, staring into the red light on the ceiling. The lightbulbs on the ceiling had the shape of dragonfly eyes, and then the rest of the body of this dragonfly materialized into the stucco ceiling, with some blue electricity. The vibrations that fractalized in the other whippet, this time, materialized in my body. I felt something pulling from deep in my body, out through my throat, and into the eyes of the dragonfly, and into it's body. It was like I was experiencing the light it was giving off, but it felt like sharing an electric current from within my and into the light as if it were a lightning rod.
So yeah that was CRAZY. My mind was blown lol.
The rest of the night was a lot of self reflection, realizing that I communicate better with my hands than I do other parts of my body, like my voice and throat. I'm expressive visually, and just anything to do with my fingers, especially with kungfu, massages, any kind of art. I decided to try to channel this expression into my throat and voice and began rambling to Lindsey seamlessly, and it just felt like a very pure kind of expression, something I wasn't used to. I'm always used to gestating ideas, critiquing them, debating them, but never just confidently trusting myself to speak fluidly. My stutter was gone, my awkward "backspacing" tendencies weren't there, I was just talking naturally for what felt like the first time. It was a very important thing for me, I'd never confronted that kind of issue before, I didn't think I could.
All in all it was a very meaningful trip, despite not being indoors. 4-ho-mipt seems to be a tryptamine that makes confrontation and reflection seamless, and the empathy makes it an optimistic experience doing so. I feel like all the festering anxiety in my system is gone :) and I expect this to stay for quite awhile.
That's all~