Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I want to stop thinking so much about everything I do. Sometimes I postpone a small situation and the more I delay it, the more I get scared of facing it until I reach a point where it is terrifying.

I used to do that. Then, I'd worry about hypothetical outcomes to situations I never did. Like if I take this job, then what happens when I get fired. Etc.

Mushrooms tamed that.

I used to do that a lot too. I still do, but to a much lesser extent. I've learned to roll my eyes at myself and to tell myself to shut up

My rage of the day is the stupid internet. It's crapping out again today. It took forever just to load DV.
A rave is that I picked up Wendy's for breakfast/lunch. It's the portebella sandwich meal- yummy. But boy did they over-salt the fries!!
I haven't actually eaten the sandwich yet. After eating the fries, I wont be hungry for at least an hour. Hopefully it's as yummy as in the past

A rant is that my poor daughter was short-changed 20 hours. She was expecting them to cut her a check for those hours she lost, so she called today and they said 'nope, nothing we can do, there's a problem with our server (or whatever it is)'
She is thoroughly pissed.

I'm still waiting for my e-juice to come in the mail. I was curious and bought something new called "Rush". Sorry if I mentioned this already. With the lag, I'm afraid to check. But anyhow... it has zero nicotine but caffeine instead.
I hope everything comes soon. I'm almost out of my Vanilla Kretek (Clove).

Crappy rollercoaster mood lately. Two days ago I woke up to go to a friend's house to spend the day and was so depressed... And now I'm amazing, like, sparks going out of my skin . I've finally decided to go to the psychiatrist when Christmas break is over. It's a big step for me, I won't tolerate not doing anything with how I feel one more day. It's still a pretty long road, but... .

Anyway! What else... I'm working out full-time now, eating healthy and gaining weight. I was so lazy today but put some uplifting music on and ended up doing more than I should, so tomorrow my arms will probably hurt like hell .

Love your new avatar dolphin!!

My psychiatrist says I'm having cognitive distortions. But if I don't think about something I feel unprepared which is equally scary.
We moved to the new office and I hate it. The office is okay, but I really hate the travelling. I'm trying to force myself to like it but after a while I can't keep faking it anymore and I just want to curl up in a corner and cry.

Originally Posted by Anju

My psychiatrist says I'm having cognitive distortions. But if I don't think about something I feel unprepared which is equally scary.
We moved to the new office and I hate it. The office is okay, but I really hate the travelling. I'm trying to force myself to like it but after a while I can't keep faking it anymore and I just want to curl up in a corner and cry.

Anju

Wow

I've been doing that a lot in the last week or so. I thought it was spiritual revelation (still do). Like, I AM a born loser. I'm 55 and felt it time to face reality. Now, your post is making me re-think it.

I googled "Cognitive Distortions"

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15 Common Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central

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Here's what it says.

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15 Common Cognitive Distortions

By*JOHN M. GROHOL, PSY.D.

What’s a*cognitive distortion*and why do so many people have them? Cognitive distortions are simply ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn’t really true. These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, but really only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves.

For instance, a person might tell themselves, “I always fail when I try to do something new; I therefore fail at everything I try.” This is an example of “black or white” (or*polarized) thinking. The person is only seeing things in absolutes — that if they fail at one thing, they must fail at*all*things. If they added, “I must be a complete loser and failure” to their thinking, that would also be an example of*overgeneralization*— taking a failure at one specific task and generalizing it their very self and identity.

Cognitive distortions are at the core of what many cognitive-behavioral and other kinds of therapists try and help a person learn to change in psychotherapy. By learning to correctly identify this kind of “stinkin’ thinkin’,” a person can then answer the negative thinking back, and refute it. By refuting the negative thinking over and over again, it will slowly diminish overtime and be automatically replaced by more rational, balanced thinking.

Cognitive Distortions

Aaron Beck first proposed the theory behind cognitive distortions and David Burns was responsible for popularizing it with common names and examples for the distortions.

1. Filtering.

We take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. For instance, a person may pick out a single, unpleasant detail and dwell on it exclusively so that their vision of reality becomes darkened or distorted.

2. Polarized Thinking (or “Black and White” Thinking).

In polarized thinking, things are either “black-or-white.” We have to be perfect or we’re a failure — there is no middle ground. You place people or situations in “either/or” categories, with no shades of gray or allowing for the complexity of most people and situations. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

3. Overgeneralization.

In this cognitive distortion, we come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or a single piece of evidence. If something bad happens only once, we expect it to happen over and over again. A person may see a single, unpleasant event as part of a never-ending pattern of defeat.

4. Jumping to Conclusions.

Without individuals saying so, we know what they are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, we are able to determine how people are feeling toward us.

For example, a person may conclude that someone is reacting negatively toward them but doesn’t actually bother to find out if they are correct. Another example is a person may anticipate that things will turn out badly, and will feel convinced that their prediction is already an established fact.

5. Catastrophizing.

We expect disaster to strike, no matter what. This is also referred to as “magnifying or minimizing.” We hear about a problem and use*what ifquestions (e.g., “What if tragedy strikes?” “What if it happens to me?”).

For example, a person might exaggerate the importance of insignificant events (such as their mistake, or someone else’s achievement). Or they may inappropriately shrink the magnitude of significant events until they appear tiny (for example, a person’s own desirable qualities or someone else’s imperfections).

6. Personalization.

Personalization is a distortion where a person believes that everything others do or say is some kind of direct, personal reaction to the person. We also compare ourselves to others trying to determine who is smarter, better looking, etc.

A person engaging in personalization may also see themselves as the cause of some unhealthy external event that they were not responsible for. For example, “We were late to the dinner party and*causedthe hostess to overcook the meal. If I had only pushed my husband to leave on time, this wouldn’t have happened.”

7. Control Fallacies.

If we feel*externally controlled, we see ourselves as helpless a victim of fate. For example, “I can’t help it if the quality of the work is poor, my boss demanded I work overtime on it.” The fallacy ofinternal control*has us assuming responsibility for the pain and happiness of everyone around us. For example, “Why aren’t you happy? Is it because of something I did?”

8. Fallacy of Fairness.

We feel resentful because we think we know what is fair, but other people won’t agree with us. As our parents tell us when we’re growing up and something doesn’t go our way, “Life isn’t always fair.” People who go through life applying a measuring ruler against every situation judging its “fairness” will often feel badly and negative because of it. Because life isn’t “fair” — things will not always work out in your favor, even when you think they should.

9. Blaming.

We hold other people responsible for our pain, or take the other track and blame ourselves for every problem. For example, “Stop making me feel bad about myself!” Nobody can “make” us feel any particular way — only we have control over our own emotions and emotional reactions.

10. Shoulds.

We have a list of ironclad rules about how others and we should behave. People who break the rules make us angry, and we feel guilty when we violate these rules. A person may often believe they are trying to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if they have to be punished before they can do anything.

For example, “I really should exercise. I shouldn’t be so lazy.”*Musts*and*oughts*are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When a person directs*should statements*toward others, they often feel anger, frustration and resentment.

11. Emotional Reasoning.

We believe that what we feel must be true automatically. If we feel stupid and boring, then we must be stupid and boring. You assume that your unhealthy emotions reflect he way things really are — “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

12. Fallacy of Change.

We expect that other people will change to suit us if we just pressure or cajole them enough. We need to change people because our hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them.

13. Global Labeling.

We generalize one or two qualities into a negative global judgment. These are extreme forms of generalizing, and are also referred to as “labeling” and “mislabeling.” Instead of describing an error in context of a specific situation, a person will attach an unhealthy label to themselves.

For example, they may say, “I’m a loser” in a situation where they failed at a specific task. When someone else’s behavior rubs a person the wrong way, they may attach an unhealthy label to him, such as “He’s a real jerk.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded. For example, instead of saying someone drops her children off at daycare every day, a person who is mislabeling might say that “she abandons her children to strangers.”

14. Always Being Right.

We are continually on trial to prove that our opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and we will go to any length to demonstrate our rightness. For example, “I don’t care how badly arguing with me makes you feel, I’m going to win this argument no matter what because I’m right.” Being right often is more important than the feelings of others around a person who engages in this cognitive distortion, even loved ones.

15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy.

We expect our sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if someone is keeping score. We feel bitter when the reward doesn’t come.

So now that you know what cognitive*

So now that you know what cognitive distortions are, how do you go about undoing them? Read how in*Fixing Cognitive Distortions.

References:

Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapies and emotional disorders. New York: New American Library.

Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: New American Library.

***

Here's the link to fixing it.

♥♥♥

Fixing Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central

♥♥♥

Rave....Its 2015!
Rant....Im soooo hungry!

Meh... another year, another year. One leads then follows into the next and it all feels the same to me lol

Rant: Sore throat and only one more fill-up of Vanilla Kretek. I need to start ordering my e-juice sooner I have lots of failed flavors strewn about my desk, but I'm going to go crazy without my favorite.
I'm also highly fatigued today. I think I stay fatigued I had bad dreams all night about the RV. Sometimes I wish I had never driven that beast. Even my anxiety was tolerable until then. It's like my anxiety topped out and never went back down.

A rave is that I get my advance tonight. I'm thinking about buying an iTunes card to get in-game stuff. meh. I'm not sure. In any case, it's always nice having a bit of money.
I also didn't have to go anywhere today

Another rave is that my son made black beans, rice and kelbasa. It was very good but I'm already thinking about what I'm going to eat next. I'm in another ice cream kick but the ice cream place is closed until the 4th.

I'm ready for the holidays to be over. Then I can go back to my routine sleep schedule. I've been up since 2am, and I'm about to go meet my family to have a 6pm dinner. At the earliest, I'll get home by 8pm and probably go right to bed. But that'll screw me over too because I'm working tomorrow night. Bah humbug.

I just experienced the first handful of paid holidays in my life. That is a pretty good feeling. It wasn't all sunshine--I ended up having to play bouncer on Christmas Eve as well as comforting some small children in the midst of the dust-up, but the holidays in general are easier to take when at least you're getting paid. I couldn't quite harbor the illusion that I'm living in a civilized society, but it was a near thing.

My Rave

The nomination thread is up

♥♥♥

http://www.dreamviews.com/lounge/155...ml#post2141123

♥♥♥

My Cry

I think I muffed-up my first nomination

... ...

Originally Posted by Tiresias

I used to do that. Then, I'd worry about hypothetical outcomes to situations I never did. Like if I take this job, then what happens when I get fired. Etc.

Mushrooms tamed that.

Meditation worked for me. Probably weed to an extent as well. I got paranoid on weed, but I liked it when that didn't happen. So I had to learn to just not think as much and just be in the moment.... which meditation taught me to do. I then transferred that over to sober life, although it is still a learning process to be like that all the time. Practice is everything though....

Oh, Happy New Year DV!

I really need to go on holiday before the school year starts. I'm so broke though. I also want to quit my job coz it's fuckin shit.
Goddammit life....

Originally Posted by tommo

Meditation worked for me. Probably weed to an extent as well. I got paranoid on weed, but I liked it when that didn't happen. So I had to learn to just not think as much and just be in the moment.... which meditation taught me to do. I then transferred that over to sober life, although it is still a learning process to be like that all the time. Practice is everything though....

Oh, Happy New Year DV!

I really need to go on holiday before the school year starts. I'm so broke though. I also want to quit my job coz it's fuckin shit.
Goddammit life....

Mushrooms are the cheat code of meditation. Everything you want to silence can be done with a few grams, and you will have a lot of perception changing. If you can meditate through it, power to you. Mushrooms helps shatter every single wall that's preventing you from being able to meditate and be okay with yourself enough to quiet those thoughts.

Taosaur, sounds intense.
Sefalik, holidays are over completely here thank goodness. The roads and stores are finally getting back to normal
Happy New Year to you as well, Tommo (and everyone else).

My rant is e-cigs. As much as I love them, I always feel like I have a coating of nastiness on my tongue.
I also took too much caffeine yesterday (though not really). I had a MAJOR case of the heebiejeebies. I thought there was a bug in my shirt, so I took it off and thought it got in my hair, so I took my bandana off... then I was certain it was on my back I was so jumpy, I finally asked myself what the heck my problem was. "Too much caffeine is screwing with your anxiety", my brain replied
Yeah... my "brain" is a separate entity from my "self"

But why the heck is my anxiety in over-drive. I've had the yawns, so I've been taking my prescribed 80 mg ceelexa instead of the 60 I normally take. (It's a fine balancing act. Too little celexa causes anxiety overload which causes- among other things- these dreaded yawns. But too much of the med causes the yawns as well as a side-effect of the med itself. 60 is that nice in between spot usually).
Gah!

Another rant is today is another Taxi day. But that's barely a rant.

A rave is that I got a call from DHHR at 9AM. I gave them my DD's email (Hi Zee) so they could get her address and mail her birth certificate and such. I had only been asleep for some 4 hours and I felt wide awake. But I told myself to go back to sleep any how and I actually did and woke at 1 feeling even more refreshed.

I had more bad RV dreams, and others, including one about my youngest. She was with someone called Lesley who was annoyed about me calling, so I had to stop. But I also had god-mode dreams and junkjack x/minecraft-esque dreams.

Now... what shall I eat after I drop my son off at work....

My "Rave"

Nominations are open for this fun awards program AND you can nominate your self, I did, for the best avatar (hehehe),

There are 35 catagories. Just pick the ones that interest you from my list, below. Then, select, copy, paste, put in your nominations (upto 3), link examples of their work, then post it HERE

★★★

http://www.dreamviews.com/lounge/155...ml#post2141276

★★★


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Spoiler for another death in the family, so soon:

My eldest great aunt Judy thistime.
Like her sisters, she was named after a film star as well.

Although she will be greatly missed, the Alzheimers/dementia had really taken a toll on her in recent years, so I truly hope she is in a better place now.

I hope her passing brings her soul (and family) peace, and I like to think she has happily rejoined herself, her husband and family, and everyone else up there, somewhere as good as down home used to be.

I worry for my grandmother now, being the oldest of all her siblings still living...and the with the only other one left all the way across the country...I really hope he comes home for a visit soon, because I know how much it would bless her heart to see him again.

Regardless, may you rest in peace Judith Lavern. You may be gone, but you are never forgotten.

In life it is can be easy to forget about death. Most people prefer not to think about it, I imagine.
Yet it is one of the few things in life that is completely certain and inevitable.
Despite everything though, it seems our experience of it can often defy logic.

I'm trying to progress and be less emotional about it in general, but a part of me feels deep down that doing so will never change the way I react to it. Only time will tell, though.

Raves, though:
I just noticed I'm suddenly teal.
Where's a dapper smiley when you need one?

Also, BUCKS WIN!
First ever National Championship baby, what an honor!
I had to work, and although I don't even consider myself much of a sports fan, I found myself inwardly rooting them on during gametime...especially when I got word that things were looking grim. Could just be the marching band in me, though.

Is there at least a pep band for hockey these days? There wasn't when I was in school, only for football and basketball. But at that point hockey was still a charter sport in my district.

Just think of all the disposable income I could have saved by going to every game for free.

acatalephobic Sorry for your loss.

I'm one of those who don't think much about death. What are you going to do about it? It'll happen when it happens. I don't have any possessions to worry about (keepsakes that'll likely get chucked for the most part) other than my animals.
I've always told my kids that I'm going to foresee my death then go deep into the woods somewhere and die in peace. I don't want people hovering with sad faces. My death will be about me, damn it, don't make me feel compelled to comfort others

My rave is that my e-juice arrived late yesterday. Still haven't gotten the caffeinated order though.
A rant is that my stomach is miserable today but it's my doing. I KNOW I cannot eat rice crispy treats. Marshmallows kill my duodenitis.
I also learned I still have a bit of reactive hypoglycemia. I was extremely jittery about 40 minutes after the treat. I went to lay down then thought to test my sugar. It was 80 (which is very good but shouldn't be that low after a super-sweet treat). when I woke some 2 hours later, it was a more normal 116.

Hubby and I are going to go to a local restaurant soon. He likes the place, but I can't eat anything other than the soup and salad- but both of those are terrific so I'm not complaining
I do prefer the local Bistro but hubby despises that place for some weird reason. That place has quiche

Another rant is my e-cigs are too liquidy. I keep asperating e-juice I've had this problem for the last week or so. There's no liquid in the coil so I don't even know. The only thing I can think of is that my battery might be failing so it's not heating the juice up enough. That doesn't really make sense either.

**EDIT**
And just like *that*, I'm sad. We went to the restaurant and they were annoyingly slow. Hubby got a stew and it arrived very thin. He always uses a dozen crackers, but this place doesn't have any, so he uses bread... but they had to freshly bake some. 30 minutes later, still no bread. Still no salad (what we ordered for dinner). 45 minutes later, I could feel my hubby about to blow a gasket. So I told him I'd ask for the check. I also asked to have the soup removed because he couldn't eat it without bread They said the salads were on their way, would we like them to go. Okay. We can wait a few minutes more.

We got home, ate, I took the brown bag with the trash back to my place. I set the bag down and read on the side "Sorry =( Hope still Yummy." And just like *that* I feel bad.
Seriously, self? Build a bridge. Stop being a dummy.

While still at the restaurant, hubby said he was proud of me. "For what?" For asking for the check and soup removal. hehe, I did it to keep the peace. Hubby shoots off vibes when he's reaching his point. He can be a passive aggressive nob when the mood strikes, so I stuck first. At least I'm nice about it

This goes specifically out to Congress. If you fuck with the Peoples vote of DC, it will be YOU WHO IS FUCKED.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

My hair has started thinning, likely as a side effect of my medication in addition to an enormous amount of stress, and I'm not sure if it can be reversed or even slowed down. I've always had straight, thick, jet black hair so it's discouraging to see it going thin, limp, and kinky. In addition to looking good, it had practical uses - I used it as a sort of safety blanket by brushing it or running my hands through it when I was feeling stressed or overwhelmed... but now I can't do that anymore without having a few hairs fall out each time. Worst of all, I have a dent in my head from when I fell as a kid so I can't really pull off the shaved head look.

;_;

Originally Posted by GavinGill

;_;

I don't know what your heart is doing these days brofriend, but ask your doc about rogaine. It can't regrow hair I don't think, but it can halt right where you're at.

Also how's your diet? Because please don't freaking diet when there's hair loss issues. Also no hats or bandanas. Kiss of death for hair loss dudes.

Gavin,
My mom had severe hair loss due to all the medication she was taking. She was nearly bald and had to wear a wig for a year or so. But once her other health issues were sorted and the doses of medicine were reduced, the hair started growing back. Now she's 52 and has long, thick, jet black hair again. I'm pretty sure your hair is gonna grow back, it is not irreversible!

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

I don't know what your heart is doing these days brofriend, but ask your doc about rogaine. It can't regrow hair I don't think, but it can halt right where you're at.

!

Go on... :0

My diet could be improved, I already know I need more veggies and meat.

Originally Posted by Anju

Gavin,
My mom had severe hair loss due to all the medication she was taking. She was nearly bald and had to wear a wig for a year or so. But once her other health issues were sorted and the doses of medicine were reduced, the hair started growing back. Now she's 52 and has long, thick, jet black hair again. I'm pretty sure your hair is gonna grow back, it is not irreversible!

Hopefully mine goes back to normal too. Got my fingers crossed. =/

i've been out of the gym for a month due to a shoulder injury. i feel fat, lazy, and out of shape. i hate feeling this way. its like the older i get the more slower my body heals. i miss being in my twenties when my body healed much faster.

In life it is can be easy to forget about death. Most people prefer not to think about it, I imagine.

i use to think about death and suicide a lot through-out my teens. i still do at times. i don't plan on dieing or anything like that. but the thought of death or being in a situation where my suffering outweighs my desire to live does linger my mind.

i also lost a few relatives this past year. i'm grateful to have spent time with them before their death.