I find I spend too much time thinking about death. Not necessarily as something that I long for or even fear, but something that just happens to be on my mind. It isn't entirely a bad thing, I've grown more comfortable with the idea of death than most people I know because of it, but I imagine I'd be happier if I wasn't thinking about it every day.
Sorry for going off on a bit of a tangent there - and more importantly, I'm sorry for your loss, - but I didn't realize just how often I thought about death until I read your post. .-.
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I'm going to speak to my psychiatrist about about easing off of the medication. I needed it for a time, but now that things are starting to stabilize at home (my Dad has been sober for a few days now and he intends to quit altogether), I feel that I'm ready to put down the pills. Of course, this would mean that I would need to manage my health much more carefully since I wouldn't have that safety net to fall back on, but right now I feel like I can handle it.