Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Thanks Milly. Just finished the side strips and working on the other big panel (as pictured). I found some more colored bags and hope I have enough.
Hope you're feeling better and your mom's giving you peace.

No real rants. I woke up sick but felt better as the day progressed.
rave: found a new awesome podcast called Edict Zero- FIS. I couldn't find the old episodes on iTunes but they have a web page with all the episodes.
I also FINALLY found all the parts in my game and made a minibike. Hunting is so much easier now. I just run the animals over then hope off the bike to harvest them
I think I might be getting burned out on the game though. It's about time

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Codeine

Yup. Always made me sick.

Anyway, wooh! Interwebs! But now I gotta go to sleep. Gonna get the Wasteland 2 update downloading, then I'll unplug everything again when I wake up. I just have cables running all across the place right now to get it set up. Over the weekend I'll properly run them now that everything it good to go.

New place is awesome though. I'm only about 5% unpacked, and I'm working all weekend so I probably won't get any further than cable management this week... but the place itself is so sweet.

G;ad you're getting settled, Sefalik. Now the fun REALLY begins lol. At least you can take your time unpacking.

My rave is that my hubby is a silly goose. The Office sent him home with some canned goods. More specifically, goods they had personally canned with stuff from their garden. There was black cherry zuccinni jelly, applebutter, another jam and bread and butter pickles. He tasted each and sent them home with me. I ate some more of the bread and butter pickles.
I thought he said it was supposed to be beans. I told him: "It's very good, but there aren't any beans. Just cucumbers and onions."
To which I spent the next 15 minutes convincing him that pickles ARE cucumbers. He thought they were different things.
I'm not often right about something, so I really enjoy the feeling when I am

A rant is that I have reflux... in part from those pickles

He and I had a long day. We went out for an early lunch then headed to the Farm. A neighbor over there asked for exclusive hunting rights for the property if he put up some gates and cleaned up the trash. So far, so good. There's a gate up to the gas well and another to the house. It's locked and hubby was given a key. Some new fencing was put up and signs were posted. the trash hasn't been dealt with yet, but the hay was mowed which is a huge improvement.
The house, though, is becoming more and more water damaged. There's been a leak in the roof for decades. He's had it re-roofed and patched, but the water keeps finding a way in.

I wish I had some bread to go with this apple butter. That actually came from out neighbors (not the Office). It's really good but a wee bit too cinnamon-y for me. I guess I'll eat some like applesauce before giving it to the kids.
hope everyone is well.

It all sounds so nice....sefalik and his new place ^^
Zhaylia and her country produce....I wish I was out in the countryside...I was born in the countryside and I miss it sometimes...
this time of year walking through the woods, scrunching through the leaves. In my wellies *sighs*

A friend of mine went missing last night and the cops found her body this morning. Apparently she committed suicide in a forest nearby her home. Honestly I didn't know her that well, like I'd see her at parties or at gigs and we sometimes had a quick chat. But when I heard the news this morning, I just bursted out in tears and I had goosebumps everywhere. And I'm pretty sure my best friend is really hurting inside, even though he pretends to be fine. They were really close. And I don't know how to act around him? Tomorrow he's coming over at my place for predrinks and after that we're going to a party in town. But I don't know if I should be "happy" around him or be more serious bc of what happened?

Fuck I'm actually really upset about this. We were supposed to meet up in a few weeks before the bring me the horizon gig, and she was so excited for it. But now she's gone. And yesterday, she posted this sad picture on instagram and I wanted to message her to see if she's okay. But I didn't want to bother her or anything so I just didn't. And now I feel a bit guilty and I have no idea how her family must feel.

And I know this is gonna sound really weird and maybe a bit harsh, but I'm kinda jealous of her cos she succeeded what I couldn't do over the past few years. I wish it was me instead of her tbh.

And one more thing which really pisses me off is that people who treated her like shit all the time, now post really nice and kind messages on her facebook profile. You didn't care about her at first and now when she's dead, you suddenly act like you were best friends?

Oh god Crashyy I'm so sorry for you and your friends. Please, please, please don't feel guilty about not messaging her; tormenting yourself with what-if is one of the worse things to do. And please, don't follow her. I know I'm just a random person on the internet, and whatever I can say may not have a big impact and I'm going to sound cliché but you matter, you matter to your friends, you matter to your family, and death isn't a solution.

Crashyy just try and be open and honest like your doing now, when you meet your mate...all of what your feeling is right...

hmm but crashyy as an oldie I can see you have everything going for you...your young...handsome...and more importantly...
funny...sensitive...and caring...I think your the sort of person the world needs more of not less...

Wow. So sorry Crashyy. And so sorry you've felt like taking that extreme route
Wishing you peace, comfort and happiness.

sefalik your place looks so peaceful...even tho i dont live in the countryside anymore at least where ever i've lived there have always been trees and greenery to look out on...id dearly love a garden tho...hope to have a lucid one some day soon xD

Cursed with a weak immune system. Yet bless that this is the only thing i have to complain about.

Originally Posted by tropicalbreeze

Cursed with a weak immune system. Yet bless that this is the only thing i have to complain about.

Hello, breeze. I've had a weak immune system my whole life, have had horrible respiratory infections. What has helped me is doing liver cleanses, a specific kind. I recommend reading The Amazing Liver Cleanse by Andreas Moritz.

Rant: I thought someone would post on my dream journal as i put a question, i think people wont see it or are to nice/polite...
Puzzler - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
please comment politely/rudely or jokingly anything is better than nothing
ciao meow *cough cough* still ill

all around. Hope everyone gets feeling better soon!

Rants: The other night I let the dog out to go potty. As I turned to go back in, I heard a commotion. I turned and saw Keirra dive into the doghouse (on the porch for the cats) and pop right back out with something in her mouth. She was growling and whipping her head back and forth. I saw something in her mouth and yelled at her to drop it and get inside. She did. What laid on the porch was the largest possum I've ever seen. I squatted in the doorway with the door mostly closed and I talked to him: "It's okay, the doggy's gone, you're okay...." But I could see drips of blood falling from his neck onto the porch. He played dead for a while, then got up, looked at me then hobbled down the stairs. He passed one of the cats on his way. Squirmy hissed at him, but the possum (bigger than her) paid her no attention and left. I hope his wounds weren't bad.
I've never seen Keirra go after something like that before. Stray cats and dogs... no problem. Deer... well, she doesn't like them and chased them until one stood its ground and stomped at her
I was very impressed that she listened to my command though.

My other rant: backache. My back has ached for as long as I can remember. Usually, it only flairs if I've been cleaning for 10 minutes or so. When I sit down, it quickly subsides. But now-a-days, my back is constantly achy. What's worse is that I don't know exactly WHERE it hurts (lowermost bottom, to the left but not bone or muscle, nothing I can push on and feel). I also don't know exactly HOW it hurts. Which is really weird for me because I can usually describe my aches and pains quite readily (stabbing, throbbing, dull, sharp....)
Walking doesn't bother it as quickly as cleaning, so I think it has to do with angles and bending over. It's strange though and I don't like it one bit

Other than that, life has been fairly quiet. I'm ALMOST done with my iPad case. I'm working on the last panel now. Then I have to figure out how to line it then join it (oh yes, and make the bottom panel). It should be done within the next couple of days then I'll work on a proper lanyard/case.

For now, though, I think I'm going to go to bed for a bit.

Originally Posted by Milly

Oh god Crashyy I'm so sorry for you and your friends. Please, please, please don't feel guilty about not messaging her; tormenting yourself with what-if is one of the worse things to do. And please, don't follow her. I know I'm just a random person on the internet, and whatever I can say may not have a big impact and I'm going to sound cliché but you matter, you matter to your friends, you matter to your family, and death isn't a solution.

Originally Posted by MeohMyoh

Crashyy just try and be open and honest like your doing now, when you meet your mate...all of what your feeling is right...

hmm but crashyy as an oldie I can see you have everything going for you...your young...handsome...and more importantly...
funny...sensitive...and caring...I think your the sort of person the world needs more of not less...

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Wow. So sorry Crashyy. And so sorry you've felt like taking that extreme route
Wishing you peace, comfort and happiness.

Thank you guys so much for the advice and support, I really appreciate it!! I just told him that if he ever needed someone to talk to, I'd be there for him. And he replied with "Yeah, I know thanks". He didn't seem to wanna talk about it though. But the party was alright and I think it was a good distraction for him. I was supposed to look after him all day, which I did from 3pm until 11pm but after that I got so drunk and I don't really remember much of what happened.

Rant: I've had such a shit day. I cried myself to sleep last night. I woke up this morning, and I knew I had this dream which felt kinda important. But of course I couldn't remember it. Then at school during PE, I think I sprained something. Because I've been in so much pain all day, the pain goes from my groin all the way down to my legs and it's just so sore. I should probably visit a doctor but I'm just hoping it'll go away soon. And talking about my health, I'm a bit concerned of it?? Lately I've been getting weird spasms in my arms and legs. Along with a tingling feeling in my chest. It's just so weird.

And tonight I'm feeling really sad so I decided to go for a long walk in town. It was getting dark and foggy and while I was walking, I just felt so off? I don't know how to explain it. I kept having these bad thoughts but I ignored them like I always do. And all of a sudden the voices came back. I couldn't make out what they were saying and it scared the shit out of me. It's been a while since I last heard them but now they're back. And also, about 5 cars honked at me. It's not like I was walking in the middle of the road or anything so I don't know why they did that.

There's been literally 200 earthquakes within a few miles of my house the last 7 days. None of them have been real big but still. I'm feeling #201 as I'm typing this. My dog is looking at me, shaking and crying. Now she's panting. Hoping they stop soon!

Rave: My birthday was yesterday. It was great.

Crashyy. Drivers can be crazy sometimes. Make sure you're wearing bright or reflective clothes if you're walking at night. They could have been honking to let you know they couldn't see you until they were at your butt.


Dolphin, two HUNDRED? Sheesh, that would be unnerving to say the least. Stay safe.

Laura, glad you had a great day

My rant is my physical anxiety. My left big toe has been cramping nearly to the point of tears. It's been getting on my nerves for the last several days. It hasn't bothered me for so long I was wondering why the heck it's popped up now. And then I went to walmart. I had such a severe attack of yawns I could barely breathe.
:rage: "What the heck is up with you, self?!" And then it hit me: I have a trip coming up around November 13. We're flying out to Las Vegas for hubby's education.

As I always must, I now question what's wrong with me Anxiety isn't supposed to work this way. It's weird and it's annoying. How can I physically react so dramatically to something I've given only a passing thought to?
Now that my kids are grown up, there's no stress connected to these trips. they're nothing more than an annoyance (i'd rather stay home )
I don't fear flying (I friggin LOVE flying though my legs are going to ache something fierce) and I don't fear travel.
I friggin hate my body sometimes. And who gets arthritis (or whatever) from anxiety or stress? It's not logical and drives me bananas.

The disquietude and restlessness has set in as well. I thought I was just finally getting bored of my game and needlepoint, but now that I recognize the other symptoms I know the trip is causing these too. Sleep sickness will come soon- sleeping 16 hours a day and still feeling sleepy.

I was always told that: Anxiety: you worry about stuff- is the plane going to crash or the house burn down or the kids starve... and it's the worry that causes the physical symptoms. I get the symptoms without the worry and it makes me SO ANGRY. My body/mind are traitors and I hate it with a passion.

Happy Bday for yesterday Lauraw

Hmmm Zhaylin...you might not realise this...but I have had this in the past also...so I knows...
Your toe sounds like its psychosomatic possibly...and the breathing thats a clear sign...just because they're is no current rational for your reaction doesn't mean its wrong...
A perfect example is a phobia...
I had a phobia from when I was little...and only in the past few years ...has it finally stopped bothering me...until whatever in your subconscious that was originally bothering you has dissipated from your body...you will still have the same reaction, no matter how irrational..
So don't beat your body up about it...its just gonna take time...to get over something that was traumatic yonks ago..
anyway

(btw Umm anyone know how I archive or delete from my mailbox...do you just delete )

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Make sure you're wearing bright or reflective clothes if you're walking at night. They could have been honking to let you know they couldn't see you until they were at your butt.

I know it's really lame and cheesy looking, but if you're going to walk on a road at night you REALLY need to wear that stuff. I drive at night all the time, and it's practically impossible to see people walking along the shoulder until you're next to them. The best is to have some sort of blinking light--I know, even cornier--but at least I can see you. And always walk facing traffic. The owner of the company I work for was hit and killed by a truck while running along a road.

MeohMyoh, there are some raised beds right outside the window from the picture I posted. The last tenant didn't use them so they need some maintenance, but I'm hoping I can find time to plant some things in spring. I've always liked the idea of growing some of my own food but never actually tried.


I had stuff to rant about yesterday, but I forget. Not that important I guess. So I'll just rant about not getting enough sleep, since that's been an ongoing complaint lately.

Thanks Meoh. I was just talking to my hubby about this (he's a doctor) and he says I'm crazy. Anxiety shouldn't make my toe hurt But I told him I thought I remembered reading something about cortisol levels rising with stress and making arthritis worse. *shrugs*
That's why all of this is so annoying. I'm never aware I'm under stress or anxious until the symptoms persist. I don't have any phobias. I have annoyances. I hate leaving my room, but I know I must. So I get yawns. The longer I'm away from my room or the more people (or cars) I'm surrounded by, the more I yawn. Hubby says, when we drive, "stop yawning, your face keeps disappearing"
And then I get angry at the yawns because the more they happen, the more I HAVE to yawn in order to get a good breath I start hyperventilating. Gah!

Before medication, my face would tingle like I was drunk or having a stroke. My voice would slur and I'd eventually fall fast asleep (even if driving). If my stress is too high, I still get some slight tingling but nothing like before. It's been 15 years now since the worst of the problems manifested.
But HOW can a person be THAT stressed by annoyances? I don't have catastrophic thoughts. I don't worry about what-ifs.

and now I remember... why do I ALWAYS forget I'm not sure this is "anxiety" in the traditional sense but a form of ??? what was it called? Sensory overload. When I'm driving, I drive for everyone on the road (why is this idiot passing me... why is that person 10 cars ahead slowing down? Is that deer about to leap into the road... hehe). When I'm around people, I anticipate their every emotion so I know how to better interact with them.
But no. None of that applies to traveling when the trip is still 3 weeks away.

Just ask the regulars here. without fail, I always rant and rave about these symptoms and then I'm like "oh yeah, so and such trip is coming up 3-4 weeks from now.

Anyhow... my rant is reflux. I've fallen in love with snacking on Croutons and the spices are killing me lol

Thanks guys!

I have been having a really hard time lately. It seems like I have absolutely no motivation. Ill tell myself that I am going to wake up early and get everything done. But then it comes to that time and I just cant force myself to get up. I'm not lazy, I work almost every day, and my job is fairly physically demanding. Its just that I have absolutely no motivation to get the task around the house done, including something simple like getting my oil changed. I say that it will get done tomorrow, and its been over 6 months... My depression has been a roller coaster lately. Ranging from fairly happy, to rock bottom in the matter of days. I wish my brain could decide whether I want to be miserable or content.

I'm thinking about dream journaling again. It got to the point that I felt like it was a chore, so I didn't enjoy it. But I just found one of my old ones and the memories of these dreams that I had forgotten all came back to me. It was a lot of fun reflecting on them, and I think it would be fun to continue writing them down. They have been interesting lately; the other night I had a dream where I was about 7 months pregnant. A very weird situation for any guy to be in im sure lol.

And I feel like I need to make changes. I am so unhappy with my current living situation. I want to move far away. There is a culinary school in Colorado that I would love to study at. Its just about finding the path that leads me there, right now I can not afford it.

Also I am sick and tired of going to school. I do not enjoy any of it. Not everyone is made for standard college life. I think I would do way better in a culinary setting. I wish college wasn't necessary now a days to get a good job.

Well I've graduated from high school. We had an assembly and BBQ at school today and in a few hours we will have the proper graduation thingy with parents and stuff. There are so many emotions flying around right now; during the assembly I was about to bawl my eyes out, at the BBQ everyone was super elated, and now tonight who knows what will happen. I'm going to miss everyone so much but I will try to keep in touch with as many people as possible. What they don't tell you about becoming an adult is you need to actually put effort into meeting up with your friends hahaha. Anyway now I have a month of exams lined up and then I'm free. I'll get back into Dreamviews and lucid dreaming after the exams, I promise .
Ps. The Chinese oral went OK. I could have done better like I did in my practice but it'll do. Also muck up day was awesome, heres a photo of my an my bro in our costumes . Im the one on the right.
Apparently the photo is too large so link is here Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet

dakotahnok
...how did you feel in your pregnancy dream...sounds very positive...
Can you not get some perspective on your dilema from your dreams...from your subconscious i'm sure it would give you an answer