All those stress
and the insecurities, I just want to disappear
are you going to say something or just like on my suffering?
Printable View
All those stress
and the insecurities, I just want to disappear
are you going to say something or just like on my suffering?
:hug: Nefets Hope your stresses leave you in peace soon.
My and hubby's trip to the mall was a very fast one. First, I made the mistake of talking his ear off on the way there (an easy 40 minute drive), then there was traffic and road work which added to his stress (even though I was driving lol). We get to the mall and there is a sea of people, and kids and screaming babies.
We get my coils and the math hurts his brain (which actually has me a little concerned lately. His mom had Alzimers (bla sp) and hubby is a genuine genius who used to thrive with math)... which made him even crankier. I called him out on it and he did better for a while.
Then we went to a store to get him some T-shirts. Until we saw the lines at the registers. He just dropped off the shirts at a rack and we made a b-line for the exit.
He said he should've known better. It's the first of the month (people get welfare and other checks at this time) as well as a Saturday. He apologized several times and I reassured him that all was well. He even took 1/2 a valium before we left, so all things considered, he did very well.
Rave: I have 20 more boxes of coils so I'm set for a while.
Rant: I don't care to leave my room. I'm perfectly content playing video games and watching shows. Hubby used to be a mover and shaker in his prime but the older he gets, the less he likes being around people. He feels like he SHOULD be doing stuff and because he just vegetates at home when not working, he feels depressed and worthless. I wanted to do stuff with him today for his sake. And even though I tell him all of this and he knows all of this, he still feels like he let ME down and gets more depressed :bang: And for being a genius, there's just no reasoning with him about this stuff.
Rave: I, on the other hand, did exceptionally well today. I even took a lower Gabapentin. I was talking so much during the drive there, that I told him unprompted (a sort of inside joke with us): "No, I haven't taken any caffeine today, why do you ask." He sighed and grumbled and said "I was starting to think you took a Didrex!" :cackle:
I weaved in and out with traffic with no problems then "almost" got into 2 accidents (1 of them would've been my fault but I just didn't see them during a turn) and my anxiety still never reared its head :banana:
Rant: I'm very sleepy though. I slept rough last night (too hot, too cold, sweating too much, freezing too much :roll:).
Rave: I tried the new Little Caesars pizza (smokehouse BBQ). It was WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too BBQ-y but still interesting. Having picked that and a 64 oz Coke up, I have nothing else scheduled for the day except zombie hunting :)
I hope life is being kind to all you DVers lurking about.
Rant: One of the kittens, Frank, hadn't been doing so well. I picked him up last night to take him into the shower with me. But he had 4 long worms crawling out of his butt. I gently pulled a couple out, threw them away and then just cleaned him with a baby wipe. I knew he wouldn't last more than a couple of days. Sure enough, he was dead this morning :(
But now I know I need to treat the rest of the animals for tapeworms.
Rant: My throat is very sore this morning :wtf:
Rant-ish: I'm about to drive the girls to their new work place to fill out paperwork. The start training on Wednesday. While I'm in the town waiting on them today, I'm going to go to Gamestop and see if they have any cheap preplayed games
RANT: My legs are back to aching full time now. And my knee hurt so much last night that I couldn't kneel on it to reach something above my bed. Gah!
Have a good day, DV :clairity:
Damn, sorry to hear that Zhaylin. Nothing too bad or too good here today, just wanted to say sorry to hear that about your kitten.
Its called tokophobia or something. Yeah i have that too. I feel scared around pregnant women because their bellies creep me out, like they're about to burst open like alien. My sister is pregnant and i'm avoiding her at all cost! And what you just described is absolutely terrifying. Lol. Pregnancy is like someone invading your private space and establishing claim over your body which was fully your until now. When you're in a crowd and want to get away, you can always go home. But when you're pregnant and want to be alone, you cant escape from your own body. But i guess what's worse than being pregnant is actually having to raise the kid.lol.
Thanks Snoop. Unfortunately, in the country, animal deaths have become all too common and familiar. All of the neighboring strays and drop off end up adopting us. I'll feed them, shelter them, and love them but I can't afford a vet.
The cats have Feline Rhinotracheitis Virus Infection (Feline Herpesvirus 1 (FHV-1) Infection - Head Cold in Cats | petMD) because there's so damn many of them. They pass it back and forth and at least half of all kittens die from it. On top of that, they now have those worms. With an already compromised immune system, it was just a disaster waiting to happen. But worms I can treat. Even that is playing Russian Roulette though. The meds aren't recommended for cats under 2 1/2 pounds. The kittens don't even weigh a pound. Plus, you're not supposed to give it to sick cats :bang: I'm giving them the smallest amount possible and crossing my fingers.
Anju, yeah, that sounds right. I don't understand it though. Every time my daughter talks about "aliens" popping out (I guess that's a common thing lol), I exaggerate my body language and emotion in a "nah damn!/you're so silly" sort of way.
But I was pregnant 4 times and had 4 healthy deliveries (my first one, I was only on the table less than 3 hours before he showed up). I just can't wrap my head around the phobia because it's such a magical/amazing/remarkable experience. For me.
These posts reminded me of fetal hiccups too. I can't believe I had forgotten them. I actually had to google it to make sure it wasn't a false memory :cackle: Everything about being pregnant was just perfect... EXCEPT for the heartburn. I also didn't have much "morning sickness" either, so I was one of the fortunate ones.
To each their own :)
Rave-ish: The drive to their work isn't nearly as far as I thought. It's only 27 miles :banana: Unfortunately, there's a ton of construction on the way there that will slow things down if caught at the wrong hours.
Rant-ish: My daughter might not be able to start right away because they need a physical copy of her GED. Paula got on line and found it so she went to the library and printed off everything. It was "Copy" yadda yadda all over it though so we don't know if they'll accept it. We can buy it for $15. but we don't really have the funds at the moment. If she can't start now, though, they said she can go through the process again once it comes it. Destinee might be stuck there until 4, doing nothing, if they don't accept the copies.
:crying: I have mold "in my" nose today. GAH! I've not had this issue for months now. I put some candycane chapstick on my finger and stuffed it up my nose but it didn't help for nearly long enough. I can even "taste" the mold at the back of my throat.
My eyes are being very allergic today too. What.the.heck.
I'm also feeling very "headachy". I know. That's a lot of quotes :cackle: They're not real. The quotes are sensations that don't actually exist. As if that makes any more sense.
I think they might be ??? what's it called when something indicates or foreshadows something? I think I'm going to have a migraine and these are the warning signs. OR, they're just side effects of allergies.
Whatever it is, it drives me absolutely friggin insane and makes me miserable until it passes... which can be anywhere from a few hours to a few days. It's been about a year since the last (full blown/long lasting) time so THANKFULLY, I don't have to put up with it often.
Rave: One of my games glitched this morning. I woke at 5:30AM so I played Cradle of Empires on my iPad. The game uses energy. I had already spent half of the energy the night before. I was starting to fall back to sleep which was perfect timing. I only had 7 energy left which isn't enough for a game. I beat the level, was just about to turn everything off when I saw "550" energy. :cackle: What the heck? It woke me right up so I played for 2 more hours. I have NEVER had an energy glitch before.
Rave: Between 7:30-9:30 I had some outstanding dreams. The firsts in a very long time.
Rave: Oh yeah. My daughter is starting her job right away. They'll be making $15. an hour which is better pay than anything in these parts. They have to order her proper degree ASAP but the copies are good enough to start.
Rave-ish: We have 2 more kittens. Ms.Molly had a litter under the shower. We were going to ignore them and just let them be feral like MNM, but the temps were going to drop to the 20's and we didn't want them freezing to death under there. She only had the 2 (definite rave) and they are SO STINKING ADORABLE!!! They're dark brown/black sort of tabby's with "M"'s on their foreheads. They have medium/long fur. The biggest one was chill. I held and spoke to it. It's eyes were wide open and it was just so loveable.
The other is a twin of the bigger one but it's FIESTY. It did not want to be held.
Rave-ish. When Paula get's her car, almost all of the cats and all of the breeders are going to be taken to non-kill shelters. Our local shelter is a kill shelter with a very high kill rate. With extremely few exceptions, these cats are too wonderful to be put down. I wish people would stop dumping their cats and that I would stop feeding them. I think the lesson has FINALLY been learned though. We'll keep a couple males and they'll stay inside. No food outside means no strays will adopt us. The possums will stop hanging around too :lol:
Bah! One of our cats just had her first litter of kittens yesterday. It seems she had them outside or in the AC vent and then tried carrying them to a box in another room. The dog took one of them. Miley scolded the dog and she dropped the kitten. I went to it and it was bleeding. I eventually found a puncture in her side. She didn't live long. I scolded the dog more then locked her in the room with me so we could be sure the cat got all of them moved. There were two others. I didn't like where the mom moved them, so I went to make it more secure and found another kitten dead with punctures.
It wasn't the dog after all but the inexperienced mother. I took the last kitten and gave it to another nursing cat. The more experienced mom accepted it immediately. But later, we found it dead too... away from the foster and with the mom nearby. :bang: The kids were all mad at Ghost (the mom), but stuff like that happens with new moms. Still sad, but nothing to be done about it.
My dog is already weaning the pups (they're almost 3 1/2 weeks). She spends most of the time in my room with me.
I woke this morning at 5:30 to a puppy yelping and whimpering it's head off. I went out to investigate and it had fallen into the same AC vent that Ghost was using to get in and out :roll: I'm going to have to buy a new cover for it next week.
The pup was completely fine, just scared because it was separated from the pack. Miley didn't stir one bit lol even though the vent is feet from where she sleeps.
Gah! I will be SOOOOOO friggin happy to get rid of 98% of all these animals (kids included :chuckle:)
I went to the Memorial at the Kingdom Hall last night. It was a great service but my nerves were so shot. I even got emotional when one member walked in. She'll be 100 years old on the 29th of this month. It was hard not being able to say hi or give her a hug (I'm excommunicated). The Elders were very kind to me though and one brother is even ordering me the new song book. I'm going to do my best to start making at least the Sunday meetings. It will be good for me.
Currently, I'm back to crocheting. I'm trying to make a fanny pack again. I made a square of proper length and width, then tried working it in the round to curve the edges then bring the sides up (working on the bottom first). But that adds a great deal of length :bang: So, I undid 3 hours worth of work to make it smaller.... only to decide to work with panels instead of in the round. :sniper: Which means I'm re-crocheting exactly what I JUST undid :cackle:
In 9 minutes, I leave to pick the girls up from work... then to Wal-mart to buy toilet paper and more yarn. And THEN hubby will probably send me out for food. I canNOT wait for the 10th of next month to get here. The girls will have a car by then and my taxiing days will be over for the most part.
Where's everyone hiding? I'm starting to feel like this thread is my personal blog :lol:
Rant-ish: My knee is still giving me a lot of grief. It's still swelling up. I finally thought to measure it yesterday. My left knee is 14 inches around. My right is 15. When I woke up this morning it was 15 1/2 :wtf:
This is an "ish" rant because meh, what can I do about it? I'm not going to lay around all day with it propped up. I'm not going to use ice. I can't change the way I sit (with the swollen leg bent and the ankle under my butt). This leg will cause me trouble until I die. It's just one of those things. But it's still weird and makes me think :wtf:
Other than that, life is quiet and fine. My right thumb tip is bothering me a bit from a) keeping my nail so short b) crocheting for hours yesterday. My nose is also itching me to death and my ear is gurgly (allergies), but nothing extreme.
Hubby's off today, so we may venture out into the world and do something (God, I REALLY hope not :chuckle:)
Oh... my dog diarrhea crapped all over the front porch. That was lovely to leave to. When I got back I just washed it all away so it wasn't that big a deal. I guess we gave her too much milk yesterday :roll: And THANKFULLY, the front door was left open for her all night so she had her accident outside instead of all over the house.
Rave: The crochet project is going well. I think it's going to turn out a wee bit too small, but it's been good practice and I'll still get *something* useful out of it.
Hope everyone is alive and well.
There's a drought going on for a few weeks now because all the borewells have dried up. Bathing has become luxury.
I'm in bed with fever. Fortunately it's a long weekend.
Rave
I usually have two doctor visits a year for a checkup. (At 77) Maybe a flu shot but she's been after me to have a heart checkup so I did, After all the stress tests, MRI's and ultra-sound he has this to say!
"Folks are going to have to put up with you awhile longer".. :yddd:
Nice, Saizaphod. DV is alive, well and growing :banana:
Anju :clairity: I hope the area gets relief soon and that you feel better quickly. I hope the weekend is kind to you.
Wobly. You're 77 years old? Glad you got such a great bill of health! I'm also glad I could help you feel a bit better with my misery :cackle: Laughter is the best medicine more often than not.
I'm reading the Handmaid's tale and it has lucid dreaming references and false awakenings.
Rant: So I thought I had all my ducks in a row but it turns out there was something called an 'arts in the community' essay that we were supposed to be working on throughout the term, despite us not once mentioning it in class (at least as far as I can recall). I hate it so much when profs pull off stunts like this. She's already got this really complex curriculum where we have reading responses due every week and are supposed to comment on other's reading responses for required part of the class; as well as having to do a short essay for each half of the term, but now I find out there's another layer of essay that is due.
Some professors get this, and they try to make the curriculum as streamlined as possible, so there's not nine and three quarter chapters of reading due from three separate textbooks and six of them are eligible for the required reading response due every forty two days on the second Wednesday of every month at 11:32 after you make a pot of noodles and do a handstand. But course evals are today. :evil:
I'm also still PO'd about adult swim not airing Samurai Jack S5 on april fools. I waited 13 years for this. :shakehead:
Now that was a stupid thing to do!
I was eating frozen burritos and watching video of a guy climbing a 1500 ft TV tower...Then went to bed!
Guess who wound up on top of the TV tower in the middle of a dream :yddd:
I was attacked by some stray dogs and I pepper sprayed them. I guess the spray was not as effective as I had expected it to be. They were able to run away after being sprayed. I was looking forward to seeing them fall to the ground and writhe in pain, like i've seen on youtube. The search for a stronger spray continues...
You could try Amazon India *link removed* 5oz Pepper Shot 10% Plus Self Defense Pepper Spray with Pink Leatherette Holster
Oh wow, Anju! Hope you're okay. Did they bite you? Do y'all get rabies in your part of the world?
Jade, hope the evals went well. lol re Adult Swim. My kids and I were just talking about that channel yesterday and how it is NOT a kids station. I friggin HATED Jonny Bravo and my boys always snuck watching it whenever they could :roll: :lol:
Wobly, lucky you :bowdown: I'm just stuck with zombie dreams every night (even when I haven't been playing the game lol)
Rave: The puppy's are old enough to find homes. Not really. They should stay with us at least 2 more weeks. But momma wants absolutely nothing to do with them. Every time she peeks out of my room, a puppy stomped runs at her trying to nurse and she's like "nope" and runs away from them. They've been eating puppy food for a week now and they're starting to crap everywhere
2 of the puppies have 6 toes on their back feet. Double dew claws. I googled it and it's not that uncommon. I hope it doesn't make it harder to get rid of them though.
Rave: My fanny pack actually tuned out nicely. I wore it all day yesterday. I took the top flap off last night because I don't like it one bit (it's too long). I ended up just buying a $3. belt and I used that as the stap. I'm not happy with that either.
So, now I'm going to take off... crap, can't do that. I was going to take down some of the height of the bag, but realized I can't without undoing a bunch of other work.
For the top flap, I'm thinking of.... how do I explain it? It's a circle that gets smaller as you go inward... but not really. It gets smaller only because a drawstring bunches it together.
Then I'm going to crochet side straps. They'll start out wide against the bag then taper down. I'll attach parachute buckles.... BUT, that's a bit trickier because fabric has a lot of give. I'm not using traditional yard though. It's more like strips of cloth which is much firmer.
If the straps fail, I'll go back to the belt and add pouches to them.
Rant: I have no idea what I'm doing in life with these new hours. I can't go on my walks. I prefer walking at 1AM. It's cooler, there's no people and VERY little traffic.
I also go to sleep praying every night and reflecting on the day and what I want to do differently. James 1:24 always haunts me: "For he looks at himself [in a mirror], and he goes away and immediately forgets what sort of person he is. " I always come up with awesome plans before I fall asleep, but once I wake up I forget all about them or can't be bothered to actually follow through with them... and then I go to bed and the cycle continues.
Rant: I am so sick of taxiing. It costs $50.-$60 a week to get them there. They'll reimburse and pay for the gas once they get their paychecks but until then it's really rough. $20. goes to cat food. $20. goes to dog food. $40. goes to either e-juice or juice and coils. I get $150. a week and I also have to eat. Thankfully, I don't eat much :chuckle: But then other expenses creep in like meds or crafting supplies or my wipes. :bang:
Rave: I found an awesome new juice. Have I mentioned this already :cackle: It's called Bad Drip (Cereal Trip). It costs $40. but it's a 60 ml bottle so it lasts about a week and a half. It comes inside a pill bottle :lol: People shout "They're marketing toward children!" But adults like that silly stuff too
Hope everyone has a great day :clairity:
We've got a flea infestation at my house. I told my parents months ago that I had seen fleas in the living room, but they didn't think anything about it, until they finally noticed it on themselves a few weeks ago. We figured it was our cat bringing them in, so we didn't let her in the house as often. But by then it had already spread to all the carpeted rooms downstairs, and even some of the rooms upstairs. We tried some spray bottle stuff on all the carpet and furniture - no dice. I pulled 5 fleas off of me just on the way to work Monday. We bought a bunch of bug bombs and set them off yesterday, which seemed to take care of the majority of them downstairs, but I still woke up this morning and had 4 on my legs. Now I'm paranoid and itchy all over, and it sucks.
Also, the cat mentioned above passed away last week. I'm not horribly torn up about it - she lived to 15 years, so we've been kind of expecting it for a while (her sister passed a few months ago). She was more of an outdoor cat, so I'd see her usually when I would come home from work, but we hadn't let her in the house for a long time because she would usually find a way to pee on the carpet. It's just crazy to think about, since I was in 1st grade when we got the two of them as kittens, and now they're both gone.
Have you tested this one? I don't like that pink cover and they have not shown an image of the can, so I can't tell what kind of a lid it has. I hate those tacky lock-unlock ones which you have to fumble with and press down really hard.
I did my research and I'll probably go for Fox Labs 5.3 Stream.
They didn't bite. Rabies is the least of it. Even non-rabid dogs are killing people and breeding like crazy. The government doesn't do shit about it. They should either get rid of the dogs themselves or make it legal to kill dogs. I don't understand why it's illegal at all. They're not endangered species.
No, That was just a suggestion, I have not tried that one, The stuff I carry is pretty dramatic as bear deterrent because of my travels and in NY I have to get it from a firearms dealer but you don't want that, It can kill humans! :ouch:
There were wild dog packs out in the woodlands here when I was a kid a bazillion years ago but civilization has pretty much stamped them out..If deer hunters see them chasing deer they're just dead, It is legal to shoot dogs running deer here!
Damn! Now i really want the one you have!
When my grandfather was alive, he used to leave out poisoned food for stray cats and dogs. I didn't even know it was illegal. Good times. Lol.