Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DawnEye11

However, dont wait for your family/friends to change or give up on your relationship with them. Make the moves needed to help restore it and you'll see that it was worth it.

---

I'm trying to make it work. ^^

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KarlaB18

So am I getting this right? You're family don't want to include you in their lives?

---

Not openly, but it's just that I don't have a proper foundation with them. They have their own dynamic which I can't integrate myself because my SO and I kept to ourselves for so long. While they are mingling and talking, I'm in my room by myself. We don't talk unless we have something to talk. It's a distant relationship. No one knows how to make it work. They go on vacations together and stuff. I recently went with them on a mini-vacation, but it felt so strange as if i didn't belong. Everyone was talking and mingling in the car while I was on my phone watching Netflix. There is no open negativity between us, but no closeness either.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KarlaB18

Would creating an image of your S.O and having them become a dream guide help?

---

That's the strange part with me. There is already sort of a guide that's like my SO. From the days following my SO passing away a hyperconscious entity has been coming to my dreams claiming to be my SO. She looks like my SO but there is a radiance about her. The thing is I'm hesitant to believe it's really her. It could be my subconsciousness helping me cope. Unfortunately sleep doesn't come easily to me. I can sleep naturally only every 3 days. I have dreams with my SO and this entity keeping me company. Perhaps one of the reason I haven't completely drowned into depression yet.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Have you tried speaking with a pro? I love my psychiatrist even though he's little more than a "sounding board" at this stage.

---

Yes. I'm still seeing my psychiatrist and am still on antidepressant and anti-anxiety meds. Initially I was suicidal, but since I seem more stable now I'm no longer under observation. I'm sort of glad my attempts failed.

I'm very glad your attempts failed :clairity:

The thing about relationships is that you get out of them what you put into them. In short, they're a lot of stinkin' work :chuckle:
If you want closeness, try to cultivate similar interests. And, almost more importantly, be PRESENT. Gotta put down that phone and leave your room! (Says I, who never speaks with my family unless they come to my bedroom :lol:)
And ask yourself what you REALLY want.

One thing my pdoc was great about was getting me to stop relying on "shoulds". I "should" be close to my family. I "should" want a life outside my tiny room. I "should" be more..........
But what do you WANT. REALLY want.

I am completely content being a hermit. People are too taxing and I've slowly learned that it's okay to feel like that. I feel what I feel, so even "okay" isn't really the "right" way to put it.
It is what it is.
And it is definitely a journey if nothing else.

Rant-ish- my daughter-in-law got a new phone so she's giving me her old one. Meh. I *like* the phone I have now but it is getting rather sluggish. And hers is an upgrade. I have to leave to transfer my number over... but hey, it's an excuse to fill up my "50 gallon drum" (what my hubby calls my 64 oz cup). I don't really use the cellphone so it's not really going to effect me in any way. I'm more an iPad and PC person (bigger is better lol unless you're actually calling someone on a phone, then bigger is just weird and unwieldy).

Rave- I just watched Geostorm. I liked it a lot.
I've also been enjoying a lot of TV shows lately (there are SO many good ones nowadays).

Rants- I'm so overheated I feel feverish to the touch :bang: (and yet my hands and feet are still ice cubes :mad:)
The caffeine pill I took is also making me feel floogally brained (and has the last few days. I should check my BP... nope. 118/80 resting pulse of 100 :roll:)
My period has decided to be late :cackle: (yeah, the only time in the history of ever that I've actually WANTED it to show up).
I need to clean my room again :bang:

I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself. Someone from hubby's office dropped off some crafting supplies: 1 trashbag; one long but slender container; one container with 3 drawers; 3 small containers. I took one step forward in organizing everything and now here I am, 10 steps back.
I keep looking at all of it and know I should be doing stuff with it all, but I don't want to :chuckle: ("should" and "wants" CAN be a problem sometimes)

Blah. Guess it's time to venture forth into the world...

Rant: I do not feel well. I tossed and turned all night, woke for an hour, fell back to sleep, woke drenched in sweat, fell back to sleep :lol:
then I had to get out of bed to pick my daughter up from the ER. They think she passed a kidney stone (she woke in severe pain).
I wasn't feeling quite right then. Got home and ate a cream cheese danish (the entire thing), sipped on my 50 gallon drum (a new one), felt even worse.
I ate a couple slices from a sub. 30 minutes or so went by, checked my sugar. It was 144. VERY high for me, but not unreasonable after that danish.
I waited 30 minutes, checked again and it was 122. BP slightly elevated at 136/82 (104 pulse- no caffeine today)
Temp is the usual 97 but my skin feels feverish :bang:

I feel very floogally- light-headed, dizzy, slight headache, foggy brained, physically unstable (like a slight wind could blow me over). Still no period but my back is starting to hurt. My ears feel weird to, so maybe all of this is just fluid in my ears from allergies or something?
I feel so out of sorts that I wanted to go to the walk-in clinic. But I'm not quite THAT out of sorts yet :cackle: 1 or 2 small nudges though would win me over.

Rant: My soda's have been tasting gross again. I drank half of a half (would that be 1/3?) last night before I gave up on it. I got another one today (same place) and it's still too syrupy. I was going to get it at another place, but Sis wanted food from Sheetz. I think their concentration is off.

I think I'm going to crawl back into bed before having to go to the store later :/

**EDIT**
Hmmm... don’t know what, if anything, this signifies. I laid down for my nap and WHOOSH- felt like I was extremely drunk and the room was swaying. Okiedokie then, must be my vertigo causing all of this. So I got up to get my machine to test the theory.
I walked, maybe 3 feet to retrieve it, too my pressure standing up. 128/86 pulse 113 :wtf:
Took it laying down: 126/85 :lol: pulse of 94. Come again?
How can my pulse jump and fall THAT much in a minute give or take?
What does it signify, if anything? Now the detective in me is too curious to sleep :chuckle:
I’m sure I remember reading you can have vertigo from ears alone (not BP) or am I misremembering? I guess the fluid can change to increase dizziness but I need to google to see.
What of my pulse though? My pulse has always been crazy. 113 doesn’t concern me in the least. I’m just curious why it could change so much so quickly and from nothing more than lying down.

Rave: looks like Mr. Monthly may finally be showing up (as if y’all care to know any of this :chuckle: *SMASK*

Visual snow with another migraine. I usually ignore it, but it really distracted me today. Even worse, if I 'zone out' completely into a trance watching the colours, (with migraine it's hard to concentrate) the particles merge to small images, like hypnagogia. Probably due to migraine, flu, and fever.

Eek! Feel better soon, NatureSpirit!
Headaches are a bear in and of themselves. I couldn't imagine having to deal with snow and stuff... although, unless you're at work or something, could it distract you from the pain or are your migraines pain-free?

Rave; another mystery solved. https://www.livestrong.com/article/3...vs-horizontal/ The change in my pulse is completely normal.

Rave: I survived another allergy injection... though this one was noticeable (slight pinch and some pressure with it going in). Hubby said it's because the shot changed some this week (instructions called for more).

Rave: I took a Benadryl last night and my vertigo hasn't been a problem today... until now. I can feel it starting to creep back.

Rant: I have to go to the store tonight. I put it off yesterday because I was too out of sorts. Meh.

Rant/Rave: My time is fully upon me. The cups I ordered are weird. I don't know if I'm going to be able to use them. And then I looked them up on-line (yeah, after the fact lol) and there's a lot of mixed reviews. Some say they're FDA approved, others say they're not.

Rant: I'm cold. But the moment I put on more clothes or change my AC, I'm hot :lol: :bang:

I just want to go back to sleep for the day...

Please share your experiences with celebrities DC dreams.1. Do you see them clearly in the dreams?
2. Do they act like themselves or do they act like their characters in their shows or movies?
3. How do you feel around them or about them?
4. Are you the star in your dream?
5. Why do you think you relate to them in your dream?

This is an interesting topic. I don't know that I have ever had dreams with celebrities in a literal sense of the person themself, but sometimes I will have dreams with the characters actors portray. Maybe my memory is failing me, but I don't remember any dreams with famous athletes/music artists/political figures.

1. As clearly as any other DC. I don't usually have detailed memory of how they look, but occasionally I will, especially if their appearance is somewhat relevant to the dream.
2. This is harder to give a sure answer on, but generally they act very much in accordance with their character from a show/movie/game.
3. Usually the same way I feel about their character in waking life. I am annoyed with some of them, I get along really well with some of them, and some of them I am mostly indifferent to. The main difference is in those more vivid, plot-oriented dreams, I react to them in accordance with my role in the dream. Usually though this still revolves around my waking life feelings about them.
4. More often than not I am indeed the star of my dreams. Sometimes I will be more of a side character, and every once in a while I will watch a dream like a movie, not being involved in the dream at all.
5. Usually if I relate to a famous character, it seems like an emotional attachment resulting from the story of the dream, or simply a very strong liking of their character in waking life.

Well, this probably wasn't exactly what you were looking for, but your question intrigued me and this is the closest thing I had! :D

Edit - I can't think of an example, but I feel that occasionally I have had dreams featuring famous historical figures as well.

I am actually a hardcore fangirl so dreams of celebrities are the most common types of dreams that I have.

1. I've never ever seen any faces vividly in my dreams before. But most of the time, I'm able to see them as clearly as the other people I'm close to in real life. And that's considered pretty vivid to me.

2. I think they act like how I interpret them in real life. So it may be how I see them on interviews, or how I feel about them at the moment. If I've mixed emotions about them, they might not turn out pleasant in the dream. I've also tried summoning celebrities DC in lucid dreams before, and sometimes they just walk away and ignore me.

3. If their personalities aren't unpleasant, most of the times I'm really happy around them. And if I'm happy in the dream, I wake up with an increased affection for them.

4. I'm usually the star of my dream. There are also instances where I know the celebrity is in the dream, but I'm unable to find him/her in my dream.

5. I don't think I relate to them. My dreams about them are probably because I think about them often or probably because I've been watching too much of their shows.

I used to be active in DV many, many years ago. Surprised to see the thread is still alive. :o

I just came in to say "Hi!" to all the familiar names I've seen in the past~ :shadewink:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Carrot

I used to be active in DV many, many years ago. Surprised to see the thread is still alive. :o

I just came in to say "Hi!" to all the familiar names I've seen in the past~ :shadewink:

---

I remember ya, carrot! :welcome: back

Welcome back, Carrot :clairity:
Hope you help bring some life to this thread and that RL has been kind to you.

Rant: I AM SO STINKING SLEEPY TODAY. Gah! I've not taken any caffeine for a few days now (caffeine and periods don't mix- it increases cramping), but I'll probably have to risk it. Hubby might want to go out to eat tonight and it would be nice if I was conscious for it :lol:

Rave: This makes me happy to a ridiculous level. I've had 4 unread messages in my email for YEARS. I've never been patient enough to search through my thousands of mail to find it. Today, I found the search option and saw I could refine it. My inbox is now CLEAN :banana: :fame: :cackle: 2 of the messages were from 2011 :wtf: No wonder I couldn't find them lol

I have a bit of a headache today, but nothing else. I binged the last, most recent, 4 episodes of The Expanse. I forgot how much I love that show. I really wish there weren't such long hiatuses. I forget so much between seasons.

Now, I'll probably work on my zombie game some. I need to finish getting my farm up and running... Then again, there's only 30 minutes til I talk to hubby. I'll probably get on YouTube instead...

Somehow lost a bag of Cheetos around 12:30 today (trying to keep a positive attitude about it)..life is full of twists and turns

Oh noes, not the Cheetoes :panic:
Seriously, I've done that before and it sucks. I've left things at the store before, dropped things in the parking lot or from the walk from the car to the house... the puppy has also stolen more than his fair share of treats.
Now-a-days, I usually check his sash spots and then the yard.

Rant: Headache. Again. :mad: I seem to keep the friggin things and it's extra annoying. It's only about a 3 on the pain scale- but when you keep a 3 for several days in a row, it starts to wear you down and feel worse than it actually is.
I never took that caffeine yesterday. I'm taking that sucker today though. WITH 2 Tylenol and 2 Ibuprofen's. I'm going to knock this pain in the head out one way or another.

Rant: I slept like crap for the second day in a row. It's probably the Benadryl I've been taking at bedtime for the Vertigo. I've had dozens upon dozens of dreams these last couple nights... but as soon as I get emotionally invested in the dream, I wake up for 2 seconds which kills the dream and starts another... repeat for 6-8 hours :bang:
I'm going to look for ear drops tomorrow. If it's just excessive fluid, maybe something else can dry it up without killing my sleep. My allergies haven't been a problem otherwise (if that's what it even is). well, other than some sinus congestion which I keep (but maybe that's what's triggering the headaches... but shouldn't Benadryl take care of that too?).

Blah.

Rave: My son came back earlier "Guess what I heard?!" He was watching a game play video and the guy said "great googally moogally!" My son just knew he had to remember to tell me :lol:
I told him, when he finds someone else who uses "tartar sauce" as a swear word, to let me know that too and then my life will be complete :cackle:
Yeah, my kids tv shows had a bigger impact on me and my vocabulary than it did them lol

Rave: I found a show called "the Mist" on Netflix. I kept telling myself I MUST have watched it because it is just way too familiar. Then I saw it was based on a Stephen King book. I've read most of his stuff so that must be it. I'm loving it so far. It must have been a very long time ago that I read the book, because I don't know what to expect.

Hope everyone is well :clairity:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ic161

Please share your experiences with celebrities DC dreams.1. Do you see them clearly in the dreams?
2. Do they act like themselves or do they act like their characters in their shows or movies?
3. How do you feel around them or about them?
4. Are you the star in your dream?
5. Why do you think you relate to them in your dream?

---

1. Yeah, when I see them they're fairly clear.

2. I don't know how any celebrity acts in real life but I'd wager based on the few dream celebrity interactions I have that they don't act like they would normally nor do they act as their characters would. The four celebrities I can recall act in the following manner:

Morgan Freeman is some sort of cosmic being that censors dreams.

Samuel L. Jackson is the Voice of God, who calls upon mortals to account for their actions and thereby encourage them towards introspection.

Kyle MacLachlan behaves similarly to his character of Dale Cooper... except that he's in reality the "Grandmaster of Croatian Dream Spies" and is infiltrating dreams in order to steal supernatural powers from others.

David Bowie is an enigmatic being with a rotting face and exposed skull who teleports around leaving inter-dimensional rifts in his wake and ... I have no clue what he's doing or what he's after, but the Croatians are trying to track him down at the very least.

While I obviously can't know for sure that the real celebrities do not act in the above manner I'd, well, be surprised to say the least if it turns out they do.

3. Freeman's sole appearance was hilarious, and made it into one of my "DC's say the Darndest Things" posts, having suddenly appeared, telling me that the dream was "dangerously close to triggering 'the secret memory'" before terminating the dream.

I'm pretty Jackson was a metaphor for God... made me think about a random Baha'i prayer in a new light.

MacLachlan and the rest of the Croatians (four in total: him, an agent undercover as an American woman, an agent undercover as a German stereotype, and a goat wizard) I find infinitely amusing, especially in pondering their schemes and trying to unravel the ridiculous Croatian dream-plot.

No clue what the hell Bowie even is, much less why the Croatians are after him.

4. No.

5. For Freeman and Bowie, no idea how to interpret them!!

I'm pretty sure my connection of Jackson as a religious figure stems from Pulp Fiction.

MacLachlan clearly has some Twin Peaks influences, though I have no idea where the Croatian thing comes from. I was only ever vaguely aware of that country's existence before Croatian spies started popping up in my dreams.

Rant: I'm awake. I stayed up all night and the following day and didn't get to sleep until nearly 1:30... then was awake at 6:30 (5 hours later). I was hoping to actually pass out and get good rest. Nope. Still tossed and turned and I didn't even take a Benadryl :bang:

Rant: My drawers are all cleaned and organized now.... but the rest of my room is so messy that the dogs can't even both be in here (and I can't walk to my bed with one in here because I have to move boxes out of the way.
Looks like I can clean OR organize but not have both at the same time :cackle:

Rant: Our internet keep crapping out still. Hubby even refreshed the modem and routers on his end and both he and I (who plug in directly) keep having interruptions. Forget wi-fi. I can't even get on my iPad for 5 minutes before I have to turn it off (in settings) then back on.
I have a Dr. appointment this afternoon, so I'll probably drive to the internet people and ask them to test the line or something.

Rant: I had a shower yesterday but need another one. My scalp is already breaking out. I have a sore that I want to pick SOOOOOO badly, but I want the Dr. to see it.

Meh.

Meh. Dr. appointments went well enough.
I mentioned that I wanted to talk about cardio tests because of the increased palpitations and he hooked me right up with an EKG and Echo. EKG was normal but the Echo person was gone for the day so I had to return today for that. The Echo was normal too, but I'm almost certain he said something about "leaky valves". I'll have to ask more about that next month when I see him about my knee.

He saw the sore on my scalp and said it might look a little infected so he gave me meds for it and told me to leave it alone. As soon as he left the room, I scratched it off :lol: It had taken considerable willpower to ignore it as long as I had.
But then the nurse came in and said they needed to shave a little bit of my head "to remove the cyst." Oops. I thought the Dr was speaking in generals. It saved me from a bald spot though :chuckle: :bang:
It's curious they used the word cyst though. Are pimples a type of cyst?
I googled a bunch of stuff last night but I was so out of it I don't really remember what I read.

Today, after the Echo, I asked him about my vertigo. I told him I USED to have positional hypotension and low blood pressure but that's no longer the case. He wanted to make sure and tested me. It is, indeed, no longer an issue. Then I mentioned my allergies and inquired about my ears so he looked and commented that they were "very bright" :lol: My ears are completely clean and clear so he's setting me up with someone to look into ??? a disease where you have a hole in your innermost ear.

I've looked into that (Dr. Google), in the past, and it didn't really seem to apply. Who knows.

Rant: Other than all of that, I woke with a severe kink in my back between my shoulder blades :bang: I need to get one of those foamy mattress top cushion things. I think sleeping on my side all the time is doing me in.

Oh yeah... I also went to the internet people and they said they no longer do that- customers do it themselves from home. You just have to plug in directly to the modem. Which is an impossible task because hubby's machine is cordless and mine is too much of a beast to move. She said we might be "losing signal" and have to have tech come out.... which is next to impossible with hubby's schedule.

**EDIT**
153/89 101 That's my current BP after a scare.
I was taking the dogs out for the last time before going to bed. I use my old cell phone as my flashlight but I couldn't find it anywhere. No biggie. There's only a couple places it could be. I take them out then look for it. Couldn't find it anywhere.
I started to panic. My cell phone is in a wallet case which holds my pre-paid credit card, my ID, insurance info, SS card, appointments, you name it. If it's important, it's in there.
I was so panicked I was in tears. 2:30AM and I drive to Walmart to check lost and found. Nothing. I was feeling dejected. I've turned in countless wallets, purses, and cash over the years but no one would turn in mine? :crying: Then I scolded myself for my self-centeredness but felt no better.

I came home and looked some more. And there it was, in an unused drawer :wtf: :mad: :banana:
And now I'm too high strung to sleep.
But THANK GOODNESS I found it. Now to figure out what to do from here. I need to take pics of everything, lock my phone, take certain items out (but then I'll really lose them).
My back is still no better either :/

Come on y'all! I'm starting to feel self-conscious.

Rant/Rave: this back pain. I recalled last night that I had previously concluded it's a pulled muscle. It wasn't any better today and I slept like crap because of it. Then I remembered tylenol and ibuprofen today :wtf:
I take my scripts and vitamins every day. I take pain killers for headaches and the likes but very sparingly. Probably because I don't eat a LOT (quantity) and they wreck my stomach if I'm not careful. I finally took some today though and :bowdown: it brought the pain from an 8 to a 3.
I'll have to start drinking an Ensure before bed and take them then.

Rant: The sores on my scalp are migrating to the back of my neck :mad: I blame perimenopause and changing skin types. I used to have perfectly balanced skin. Now, I think, it's more oily. Which means I need to research hygiene. For 40 years I was used to a certain thing and now my body's changed the rules on me :bang: I guess I have to suck it up and adapt and shower every day (before, doing so would severely dry my skin out).
Blah. I don't like change lol.

Rave: fish night :banana: Our favorite restaurant is serving potato crusted cod and veggies. I've also been craving veggies lately so that's a win on both fronts :)

On Friday, after my allergy shot, hubby looking at lawn mowers some more. That evening, we went out and bought a Husqvarna riding mower.
Yesterday, I spent 3.2 hours mowing, during the hottest part of the day lol (it was calling for rain).

I've not mowed for 15+ years. It was easy to handle, but I am sore today (oddly enough, my lowermost stomach muscles are sore).
The guy who mows for us, came out to chat a while and he looked to me and said "You'll be putting me out of a job.... and I don't care." :cackle:
Then he gave me a tip on cutting directions (hubby started it and worked in a box shape to outline where I should mow- I continued working within the box but the neighbor said straight lines are easier).
Hubby had some sun screen lotion that was so old I didn't know how well it would work (it came out like water and not like lotion lol). But, I'm not burned at all.

Rave: I figured out how to pop my upper back. I just hang my upper back/body off the side of my bed, and my back pops between those shoulder blades. The muscle is still pulled and sore, but it's on the mends. For some reason, though, my lower back was killing me so much yesterday that I could hardly walk. It's much improved today too.

Rave: Because of my skin and scalp sores, hubby gave me some expired surgical soap (3.3% Chloroxylenol) to try. It doesn't foam quite as much as traditional soap, so I was doubtful it would work. And when I got out of the shower, I felt extra dried out. But good googally, once I dried off, I've never felt better. I just want to pet myself :chuckle: My skin is smooth and my hair is extra soft.

Rant: Hubby just told me, though, to use it sparingly because it's very expensive :crying:
I'll be looking on-line. It is THAT amazing.

I am in agonizing pain. If it continues, at this degree, for any length of time I will start praying for death.
I'm about to OD on Valium (not really. I just REALLY hate taking ANY Valium and more than 1/4 is too much for my liking).
I took the standard pain meds mixed with caffeine to boost it. Took that 1/4 of Valium and now I dug out my heating pad :mad: :sniper: :furious:
What the friggin heck, Back? My pulled shoulder muscle got better. My lower back pain subsided for a bit then returned with a vengeance.
I've had x-rays and an MRI in the past which turned up absolutely nothing (well, some slight disc wear, but nothing to warrant this pain).
If it's to this degree tomorrow, I'll see a Dr. If nothing else, perhaps they can prescribe some better meds. Is there such a thing as a muscle relaxer that DOESN'T cause excessive sleepiness?
I have stuff I want to do.
I can't even dull the pain through gaming (I can often-times distract my brain from pain- but this is just too much).

Rave-ish: I'm playing Stardew Valley again. I'm enjoying it but boy is it grindy. And I don't typically mind grindy games so that's saying something :cackle: I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't forced to sleep every day :D

Hello, it's me. I was wondering if after all these posts you could create. Anything. For me to read...........

Meh.
That's it for my week's worth of creativity :chuckle:

RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My iPad is on it's deathbed. The LCD is shot. It can't be turned on for more than a few seconds at a time before it just appears to shut off :crying: :mad:

Rave: Hubby's getting me a new one, but I might have to go into partial debt to cover some of it (depending on how generous he's feeling lol. I want an iPad Pro with a large memory).... it could also take a while. He likes waiting for the latest and greatest. I'm more about instant gratification. I use my iPad every single day. Waiting until Apple releases something new in the Fall is just way too long.

RANT!!! My back still hurts. I saw the Dr. today and he wrote it off (after talking to me for 3 minutes) as arthritis. He prescribed some sort of pain patch but Walmart didn't have it in stock so I have to wait until tomorrow. Pain relief is pain relief, and if it helps, I'll be happy.
But I would prefer to KNOW what the heck is going on with my friggin back.

1) My soon-to-be-arriving period will trigger it. 2) Having an orgasm will trigger it. 3) stress *can* or seems to contribute to triggering it.
4) Drugs like Prozac and Cymbalta help (until they don't. Prozac then Celexa worked for nearly 8 years in keeping me 90% pain free)
5) X-rays, MRI's, PAP smears have revealed nothing overly suspicious. 6) I have a fairly high pain tolerance. If I say I'm in too much pain to even enjoy video games, SOMETHING is not right. If I break down and see a doctor for pain, SOMETHING is not right.

Rave: But, the pain is not as bad as it was yesterday. It's too bad for me to clean or do laundry or take the dogs out, but I'm no longer thinking of death. (For clarification, I don't think "This pain is so terrible right now, I'm just going to kill myself." Instead, I think: "If I have to live with the pain every day for the rest of my life, I would much rather die.")

Humorous: Me walking to go to the Dr and Walmart. My knee hurts, so I limp. My back hurts, so I hunch over. But I can't stand moving slowly, so I speed-hobbled to my destinations- wincing because I'm in pain, then smiling at people because I don't like to show that I'm in pain :roll:

Rant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcg6cLauF3w&t=33s
I binged that song so much yesterday (and I woke up humming it today) that my throat hurts today :cackle: (Yeah, I have to hum or sing along).
I can't remember the last time I binged a song so much. Even after watching it off and on all day, it gave my goosebumps each and every time.

RAVE!!!!!!! My back pain (so far) is, maybe, a 2 when I move and a 0 when I don't. :banana:

Rant: The Dr. prescribed Flector. $222.44 AFTER insurance. Flector is just an NSAID. :roll: I did NOT pick up the script.
My mom and dad swear by the patches though (I asked FB for testimonials). I'm not convinced though.

Huh, seems I didn't tell y'all that another cat showed up. It's a c. 3 month old female (*sigh*) Siamese. One of the kids were in the yard and our cat Pasley was trying to rape her, so the kitten ran to my kid to be rescued. What the heck is wrong with our cat? It acts that way with every young cat (mounting behavior- pinning it down, biting the neck, humping without penetration and possibly with). I still say he's just asserting dominance. After this "hazing", the cats seem to get along just fine. But out of the hundreds of cats we've had, I never recall one that was this persistent and determined.
The Siamese is almost the spitting image of one of the new kittens. There must be a Tom out running around with Siamese in him, but I've never seen him.

RANT- These friggin flies. Bot flies are everywhere because of the cat that died in our AC vents during the Winter. Houseflies are everywhere because, well, 'tis the season. THANKFULLY, there have been no biting flies yet.

Why me why me

I'm very feverish. Nothing new, but would've been great if I wasn't feverish. ^^'

This is late but I'm really happy that there's someone here who still remembers me. DV used to be such a big part of my life when I was a teenager. And I made really great friends here who had changed my perspectives of the world. But sadly I no longer know where and how to contact them anymore. D:

I thought adulthood will be more fun but I've this gaping hole of emptiness that never seemed to be fully filled. But real life is treating me good. I worked for 5 years and decided to quit my job to take a break. I'm currently in the midst of planning my next trip. But being out of job for a couple months does things to your self-esteem, makes you feel worthless and incapable.

I quit my job because I hated it but I still have to pay my rent.