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    Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

    1. #19326
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      its me again, i dunno if anyone active remembers me. I'm always still amazed this thread is still goin on. I miss being connected myself or others. I hope everything is going well for everyone. Life is pretty unfair these days
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    2. #19327
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      Quote Originally Posted by Erii View Post
      its me again, i dunno if anyone active remembers me. I'm always still amazed this thread is still goin on. I miss being connected myself or others. I hope everything is going well for everyone. Life is pretty unfair these days

      Life is pretty unfair most days but it's way better than the alternative
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    3. #19328
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      I'm dog sitting at my sister's house. The only problem is that I'm sick with the stomach thing and I've been vomiting everywhere. It's not easy when you have to babysit two dogs. A puppy and an older dog who is partially paralyzed from the waist down. I totally forgot what day it is...
      We had a tornado warning here, last night. It's lightly raining here.

      Edited: And oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I'm dead to the world.
      Last edited by Ic161; 08-05-2018 at 02:10 AM.
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    4. #19329
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      Quote Originally Posted by Erii View Post
      its me again, i dunno if anyone active remembers me. I'm always still amazed this thread is still goin on. I miss being connected myself or others. I hope everything is going well for everyone. Life is pretty unfair these days
      I remember you, and the fact that you happened to bizarrely have some connection from a guy that lived across the street from me, in a tiny ass town, across the continent.
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    5. #19330
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      Checking back in. I hope you all are well.
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      Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the law, love under will.

    6. #19331
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      Where is Zhaylin
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    7. #19332
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      I feel so loved

      I'm here.. just became addicted to Roblox of all games rofl.
      And then there's today.

      From my FB because typing hurts:
      "So, I did a thing...
      I woke up from a nap, took the dogs out. Pup was wanting to run and play.
      I wrap his leash around my wrist several times, to help keep control. Well... I tripped over my feet, fell forward, he kept running and I heard bones pop.
      Then my vasal/vagal (sp) kicked in and I had to lay in the nasty grass... had Ray get the pup, had Destinee call Jerry to take me to the ER.

      I thought I dislocated my shoulder. Turns out, it's broken in a couple places. I'm in a sling and follow up in Clarksburg on Monday.
      Lovely.

      Any time I move it, that Vasal/vagal kicks in and I feel close to passing out (it's a sudden drop in BP. It's what happens to some people when they see their blood drawn. My trigger is severe or sudden pain)"

      They gave me Fentenyl and later Morphin. I've been home for about an hour and I still hurt.
      The meds messed with my stomach BIG time, so we stopped for BK on the way home and I feel better now unless I move.
      This sling is useless.
      I'm sleepy but I am not looking forward to trying to sleep.
      It's going to be interesting if nothing else.

      Hope everyone is well.
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    8. #19333
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      Quote Originally Posted by Zhaylin View Post
      I feel so loved

      I'm here.. just became addicted to Roblox of all games rofl.
      Hahaha, I played a bit of Roblox last year, none of the kids even believed me when I said I was 21.
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    9. #19334
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      Haha, when I told one of the kids who friended me that I was 44 he yelled ďAHHH PREDITOR!!Ē Lol

      I was mostly playing the Mining Simulator. Itís a nice game to zen to. I also sort of like MeepCity but it weirds me out with people morphing into kids and teens and asking people to be their mommy or daddy I started it all in Gear Land though.
      I thought I was going to be playing a game like Minecraft wasnít at all what I was expecting.

      I think I might be acclimating to the pain. The vasovagal syncope isnít nearly as bad this afternoon. It helped that I was finally able to roll onto my side and get some sleep.
      But I overdid it tonight and now Iím feeling light-headed.

      I got a bath at my hubbyís house though That was much better than all the drugs Iíve been taking. I told him I might have to move into his tub lol. I took the sling off and just laid in the water and was in pure bliss.
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    10. #19335
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      Very strange, but I'm just now developing bruises from the break. My arm is also hurting a bit more today.
      I can sit on my legs and rest the arm on my desk to use my mouse to play Roblox... but after about 10 minutes of clicking, I feel like I've been lifting weights for hours and I have to stop.
      I've spent a great deal of time in bed and on my iPad. Thankfully!!!!!! the glitch that kills it has stayed away. (horizontal lines which spread to obscure the entire screen)
      Typing one-handed REALLY sucks lol.

      I'm supposed to see a Dr. today but who knows if that will happen. Apparently, Monday is part of their weekend. Hubby wants me to see a particular Dr. The girls are only free today though. Maybe I'll have to wait until Thursday (hubby's day off). Bah!!! I need a real splint/sling with a cushier strap pad.

      **EDIT**
      Bah! Looks like I'm driving to the city tomorrow to see the Dr. The lady said I could drive myself though it might be hard if I wind up in a cast. (They don't put this sort of injury in a cast as far as I can tell). I told her I read on-line that it's recommended that people not drive for 4-8 weeks or for as long as they're in a sling. She scoffed and said people shouldn't always read stuff on-line. She was polite and friendly but that mind-set irks me to no end. I hear it everywhere.
      Yes, people should take what they read with a grain of salt and they should always look for sources to prove or disprove what they've read. But education is power. Being informed is liberating. It frustrates me immensely that people are picked on for looking for information.


      And now that I've been told I "can" drive... I will be expected to continue my responsibilities I was actually somewhat enjoying that part of my injury

      ***EDIT***
      Just found this https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/...eaking-a-bone/
      Which made me wonder: How am I to change from driving to reverse etc. I can drive one handed, no problem. In fact, I tend to favor my left hand for driving... but what about everything else? What if it starts raining? What about my blinkers?
      I guess I'll have to go for a test drive some time today...

      ****EDIT****
      Just took my test drive. It went MUCH better than expected. I won't be parallel parking any time soon, but everything else is very doable. And the armrest feels like heaven lol.
      I am a little worried though. I've been pushing it too much. My shoulder feels like it's subluxing. One of the breaks is right there at the ball of the shoulder and another break is further down. With Ehlers-Danlos, my joints have never been overly stable to begin with.
      I can't do surgery. I hope 9REALLY<REALLY, REALLY) hope it doesn't come to that.
      Last edited by Zhaylin; 08-13-2018 at 04:49 PM.
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    11. #19336
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      UHC update... my shoulder is partially displaced but the gap is in between the need for the sling OR surgery. There MIGHT be a bone fragment broken off and floating there so a CT has been ordered.

      For now, I'm still rocking the sling. I'll be getting X-rays every week to make sure nothing shifts or worsens UNLESS the CT shows the need for immediate surgery.
      Right now it's just the waiting game.

      My pain is only a 2-3 unless I move the wrong way.
      BUT, I'm back to sleeping miserably. I had laid off the Benadryl and Hydros, but took them last night and still only got 3 hours of sleep :/

      Good news... I CAN play video games lol so long as I watch my posture and don't strain the muscles in my upper arm (which could further displace the break).

      I also got a very short hair cut One less thing to have to worry about lol."

      And now I think I might be sleepy enough to get some zzz's...

    12. #19337
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      Ugh... Iím still only sleeping in bits and pieces. My elbow was killing me, so I took my arm out of the sling and stretched it (the Dr even told me to do so; and to curl my lower arm for circulation and what not). I was afraid to though because my shoulder seriously feels like itís going to pop out of place. I donít know if itís supposed to feel like that or if itís something to be worried about.
      But great googally it felt SO FRIGGIN GOOD to stretch it lol. Iíve had it out of the sling for a couple of hours now. Iím just laying it bed.

      I honestly donít understand all this broken bone stuff. The Drís say to watch your posture so gravity can work to heal the bone in the proper position. They put you ina sling. They say to move and exercise your lower arm but to not tax the muscles of the upper arm
      Iíve never appreciated, before now, just how connected everything is. I canít really do anything with my lower arm without engaging the upper.
      Maybe the sling is just there to help those muscles not displace the bone?

      The thumb of that hand is annoying me too. It desperately needs popped. But the only way I can pop it is by forcefully pulling it (none of my other joints are that way, thankfully).

      Rant: my stomach DOES NOT like Hydros OR my CBD vape under my tongue. I feel gut punched and starving to death any time I use eithe.

      Rave: Hulu. Iím still binging CSI but Iím now also watching Castle Rock. Maybe I should get some books to read.

      Hope everyone is alive and well.

    13. #19338
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      I am miserable. I tried to make myself cry with very limited success. But now Iím all the more miserable for it because of post nasal drip and dry eyes. Hopefully, though, the dry eyes will work in my favor sooner rather than later and help me fall the frick to sleep. I also just took 2 Benadryls to help me.
      Iím now out of my sling 70+% of the time. Iím just reclining in bed and it helps to have the arm free. I am also now using my heating pad. I think itís helping more than Tylenol and I donít have to eat to use the heating pad.
      I just want to sleep. Put me in a coma, please.

    14. #19339
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      Made a double post by accident
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      Last edited by yuppie11975; 08-16-2018 at 05:08 PM. Reason: Double post
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      I haven't cried since.... I can't even remember. Not in the last 10 years at least. It's not that I don't get sad, I just seem to be incapable of crying for one reason or another. Sometimes I even try and force myself to cry because I feel like it would be beneficial to me, you know, cathartic and all that. But, nope. Still can't do it. I'm sure I'll manage when something truly harrowing happens to me. Anyway, figured I'd drop a bit of an update seeing I'm pretty slack. It's not that I don't read this thread regularly, I just struggle to find the energy to type out my own posts. Regardless, I always check in on your daily updates, Zhaylin. So, recently I moved from living on my university back home. I'm finishing my degree online. I've got 8 classes left to go, so... nearly done. I don't really like my degree, but I figure I may as well finish it at this point with all the time and money I've invested in it. I almost feel as if university is kind of a scam, unless you are super certain about what you want to do and you're following a formalised pathway onto a trajectory that you've got all mapped out. Otherwise, it's just kind of a thing that people feel obliged to do. It makes your parents proud, people revere it, everyone champions it. When I was in highschool, we were basically all told repeatedly that if we didn't go to university we'd have no real success in life. I don't know what the motivation behind telling people that is, but I certainly don't think that it's true in hindsight. Looking back I wish I just learned a trade, like an electrician or something like that. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about, well, I've been pining more than I've been thinking, about going back in time and starting over. Having an opportunity to make all my choices again. I know that it's not healthy to dwell on the past, and that people often place weight on the past when their actions in the present could dramatically alter their future, but, I still can't help myself. Anyway, living at home has been okay. It has its ups and downs like anything else. My main joy lately has been my motorcycle. It's super fun and I'm getting better at riding every day. A couple weeks back I was going around a roundabout and I slid out and dropped the bike. I had some pretty bad road rash on my leg, but no serious injuries. It was embarrassing more than anything else - there was lots of traffic around to witness it. No one stopped to help or anything, so I had to lift the bike up all by myself. Normally this would be a challenge because it's rather heavy, but with all the adrenaline and embarrassment coursing through my veins, I somehow lifted it as if it weighed nothing. To this day I'm still pretty nervous at roundabouts now, but overall I would say that my riding is getting better. It's pretty funny if I think about it, I'm more tentative about riding a roundabout at 10KPH than I am taking a corner at 110KPH. I'm not sure what caused me to slide out, it could be tire tread, tire pressure, gravel on the road, rider error, or a combination of everything. It's funny, when I was researching tips on how to be a good rider, one thing that I saw repeatedly was 'Learn to accept responsibility for your errors' and when I read it at the time I thought 'well, duh'. It seemed silly to me at the time that you wouldn't own up to your mistakes. But, when I crashed, I didn't really want to blame myself. I forced myself to be rational and acknowledge I made an error, but it was more difficult than I thought. Anyway, there's my long self important monologue pretty much over. I'll attach a few photos of the bike before and after I repaired it. I hope everyone is doing well. Lots of love.

      38301103_2062829013728654_477416865132445696_n.jpg
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    16. #19341
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      Here is the exhaust heat shield after I sanded it down and sprayed it. (Decided to change it to black to conceal the scrapes a bit better, and also I think it looks a bit nicer)

      38434523_2062878027057086_6739605072486858752_n.jpg

      Here's my boot after the crash (that I bought literally that day and immediately scuffed )

      38471769_1054873261347035_4822897134061748224_n.jpg
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    17. #19342
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      Glad you didn't hurt yourself!!!
      That new color looks great. I couldn't see any scuffs.

      Maybe it's because I live in Coal Country, but College isn't overly pushed. Or, perhaps my kids didn't apply themselves to be noticed in that way. When a kid gets to High School, they choose a career path- professional or technical. Professional puts them on the path to college and lines up all the classes and courses they need to get there. My kids chose tech. The last two years of high school are spent with their time divided between educational courses at the school at hands on courses at a near by Trade school.
      I'm sorry you're having doubts. I think a lot of people go through that period of "what-ifs". I think it's very responsible that you're finishing what you started even though your heart not not be in it any more.


      Rave: I finally got some sleep... though looking at my timestamp, it might not have been as much as I thought Hubby called and woke me at 10:30AM and I've been up and out of bed (and in my sling) ever since. I feel like the walking dead, but pain has been tolerable.

      Rave: Dr's called today and my CT was approved. I have it done, locally, on Monday. I see Ortho on Tuesday. (I also see the sleep Dr. on Monday). Tomorrow, I'm going to see my general Dr. about getting some sleeping pills. Hopefully, I won't need them.. but if the last few nights are my new norm for a while, I definitely will.

      Here is my beautiful bruise
      Bruise2.jpg

      Time for me to get back to bed and let my arm out of its prison.
      Sweet dreams, DV.

      Oh... and here is my new haircut
      WarriorPoselol.jpg

      (and yes, I am wearing a skirt as a dress Thankfully, I have several long skirts because that shall be my attire until goodness knows when )
      Last edited by Zhaylin; 08-17-2018 at 03:24 AM.
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    18. #19343
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      This was deeply thought provoking for me

      Thank you for sharing THIS Wow ⚘

      ⚘⚘⚘

      I haven't cried since.... I can't even remember.

      Not in the last 10 years at least. It's not that I don't get sad, I just seem to be incapable of crying for one reason or another.

      Sometimes I even try and force myself to cry because I feel like it would be beneficial to me, you know, cathartic and all that. But, nope.

      Still can't do it. I'm sure I'll manage when something truly harrowing happens to me. Anyway, figured I'd drop a bit of an update seeing I'm pretty slack.

      It's not that I don't read this thread regularly, I just struggle to find the energy to type out my own posts. Regardless, I always check in on your daily updates, Zhaylin.

      So, recently I moved from living on my university back home. I'm finishing my degree online. I've got 8 classes left to go, so... nearly done. I don't really like my degree, but I figure I may as well finish it at this point with all the time and money I've invested in it.

      I almost feel as if university is kind of a scam, unless you are super certain about what you want to do and you're following a formalised pathway onto a trajectory that you've got all mapped out. Otherwise, it's just kind of a thing that people feel obliged to do. It makes your parents proud, people revere it, everyone champions it.

      When I was in highschool, we were basically all told repeatedly that if we didn't go to university we'd have no real success in life. I don't know what the motivation behind telling people that is, but I certainly don't think that it's true in hindsight.

      Looking back I wish I just learned a trade, like an electrician or something like that.

      Recently, I've been thinking a lot about, well, I've been pining more than I've been thinking, about going back in time and starting over. Having an opportunity to make all my choices again.

      I know that it's not healthy to dwell on the past, and that people often place weight on the past when their actions in the present could dramatically alter their future, but, I still can't help myself. Anyway, living at home has been okay. It has its ups and downs like anything else.

      My main joy lately has been my motorcycle. It's super fun and I'm getting better at riding every day. A couple weeks back I was going around a roundabout and I slid out and dropped the bike. I had some pretty bad road rash on my leg, but no serious injuries. It was embarrassing more than anything else - there was lots of traffic around to witness it.

      No one stopped to help or anything, so I had to lift the bike up all by myself. Normally this would be a challenge because it's rather heavy, but with all the adrenaline and embarrassment coursing through my veins, I somehow lifted it as if it weighed nothing.

      To this day I'm still pretty nervous at roundabouts now, but overall I would say that my riding is getting better. It's pretty funny if I think about it, I'm more tentative about riding a roundabout at 10KPH than I am taking a corner at 110KPH. I'm not sure what caused me to slide out, it could be tire tread, tire pressure, gravel on the road, rider error, or a combination of everything.

      It's funny, when I was researching tips on how to be a good rider, one thing that I saw repeatedly was 'Learn to accept responsibility for your errors' and when I read it at the time I thought 'well, duh'.

      It seemed silly to me at the time that you wouldn't own up to your mistakes.

      But,

      when I crashed, I didn't really want to blame myself. I forced myself to be rational and acknowledge I made an error, but it was more difficult than I thought. Anyway, there's my long self important monologue pretty much over.

      I'll attach a few photos of the bike before and after I repaired it. I hope everyone is doing well. Lots of love.*
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    19. #19344
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      Well thanks EbbTide, I'm glad you enjoyed it. What specifically did you find provoking? I appreciate your comment, I just didn't consider my post to be particularly profound.

      You look healthy Zhaylin! My favourite photo of you was the one you used to have as your avatar, with the long blonde hair and the bandanna. (Assuming that was you)
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    20. #19345
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      <span class='glow_9400D3'>EbbTide000</span>'s Avatar
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      Cool

      Yup...

      All of it inspired me
      I like the way you write. ��

      Oops

      I forgot
      DV can’t handle phone enicons
      That ?? is the smily face with sunglasses emicon from this phone.

      Let me see if I can find it in the dv collection of emogys and

      I can’t find the “cool” emoji
      That makes me feel “where the F is it” hahaha
      :
      Last edited by EbbTide000; Yesterday at 02:55 AM. Reason: Looking for “cool” emicon, can’t find it.
      Zhaylin likes this.
      EbbTide000's Signature.
      My original username was debraJane, later I became Havago. Click link below!
      What are Your Thoughts on This?
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    21. #19346
      Drowning in Dreams Achievements:
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      <span class='glow_8B0000'>Zhaylin</span>'s Avatar
      Join Date
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      Thanks Yuppie. That was a very old pic (of me lol- have I changed that much )

      RAVE, RAVE, RAVE: Sleep Dr. was going to give me the occipital blockers until I told him it made me sleep for 2 weeks. Now, he wants to give me botox It's supposed to help with migraines. Insurance has to approve it. BUT, I held my ground. I told him 2 main things I wanted to talk to him about were Provigil, provigil, provigil.... and his thoughts on the nasal pillow worsening my TMJ which, in turns, seems to be worsening my migraines.
      He's going to make a call to the mask supplier about hooking me up with a full face mask. AND... he wrote me a script for my med.
      Y'all have NO idea how friggin happy that makes me.

      Rave: CT went without a hitch. Now I just have to wait for the verdict tomorrow.

      Rant: I almost dropped my dinner last night and instinctually swung for it. My shoulder has been bothering me ever since. I'm back to 2 Extra Strength Tylenol twice a day instead of once with breakfast as I have been doing. I could have swore I wrote this already.
      I'm afraid Ortho isn't going to have great news tomorrow.

      Meh: I didn't sleep last night. There was no point. I had to be out of the house by 7:30. I'm supposed to go grocery shopping tonight, though, so I really should sleep before now and then....

      **EDIT**
      And oh yeah... I don't cry either. Unless I'm FURIOUS about something. Then I can't stop the tears
      I didn't even cry for the breaks.
      My eyes will sometimes well up a bit for various reasons (sad show, sad event, pain, speaking in high pitched baby talk lol) but I always bite it back. Mostly because I despise crying because 1) I brainwashed myself as a child (had a list of punishable offenses via SI and that was 1 of the 3 worst "crimes") 2) the way it makes my eyeballs feel If I break down and cry, I'm toast for the rest of the day- emotionally drained, eyes irritated to the point I must sleep to escape it. Meh...
      Last edited by Zhaylin; Today at 05:57 PM.

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