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    Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

    1. #19426
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      Ooooh, you mean dream tasks, IC? I just noticed your wings. Way to go!!

      Meh: I got 5 hours, 13 minutes of sleep. Had 3.4 apnea events an hour. I NEED to start getting more friggin sleep. This is ridiculous!!!
      I recall a "Hand Maiden" type dream which also revolved around China's ("Black Mirror"-esque) Social rating system. I was pregnant for another family and wrote that I was considering killing myself. The host family set up a sort of Intervention but I woke before I got too far into the dream. I'm at a loss for the interpretation. Except for the Social experiment thing... I watched a video earlier in the day about it. I did see a happy, seemingly well-to-do and attractive pregnant woman at the store last night. How and why my brain married everything together though, lol, who knows

      Rave: I completed one of the Events in roblox yesterday. Now it's time to tackle the other event (why they had 2 run at the same time is beyond me. It's hard enough just to finish one of them!!! And to think this game is meant for kids... who go to school all day )

      Rant-ish: I slept on my broken arm again last night. I guess I've healed up plenty fine. When it was still actively healing, pain or my subconscience or something kept me off the arm. Now I find myself lying on that side all the time I woke up aching a lot so I got in an hour with my TENS. I don't know just how good it is though It is neat though.

      Rave-ish: I've not had any Tylenol for at least a week; maybe closer to 2 weeks. All in all, I am fairly pleased with my progress and pain tolerance. And I am very grateful for my Ehlers-Danlos as well as my decision to not rely on the Sling unless I'm up and about.

      Rant: I want to get back on Roblox and tackle that other event... but there are too many chatty-cathy's on-line right now.

      Rave: My incision is very angry looking, but the sore has finally completely healed over.
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    2. #19427
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      Rant: 5hrs, 38 min sleep on CPAP (and total), 4.2 apnea events and hour
      BUT... it was MUCH better than I expected First off, I wiped the inside of my nose with an alcohol wipe right before putting my CPAP on. I do that from time to time, especially when I have sores. Last night, though, my nose was a little drippy and I wanted to dry it out.
      Well... there was a bit too much alcohol on the wipe I used It didn't burn or anything (I'm fairly immune to that now-a-days), but it was so drying it caused my sinuses to swell. When I first put my mask on, it felt like I could barely breathe.

      THEN, I couldn't fall asleep until around 4:30AM. I was expecting to have to be awake by 8 The girls overslept though, so I got to sleep in an extra hour.

      Rave-ish: I was supposed to take Paula to Morgantown this morning (about 1 - 1 1/2 hours away). She went to the ER last night. She hasn't been able to sleep properly for a couple months, and she had been awake a couple days yesterday. Her pulse in her neck was throbbing weird, she was dizzy, had double vision. I scoff at such things. My immediate thought was BP and sleep deprivation. However, Dr's think she has MS and worry she may be having mini strokes. They wanted her to go to the other hospital for an in depth MRI. She was to make the appointment herself, though. They recommended she ask for a Resident else the appointment may be too far into the future. They didn't have enough concrete concerns to warrant shipping her there ASAP.
      SO.. while I'm glad I didn't have to make that drive, I am worried for her and hope she can get an appointment soon.

      Rant/Rave: Their car drama continues. I did have to take them to work. I picked up McD's Big Breakfast with Hotcakes I ate everything except the biscuit (I never eat that). I usually have half a stack left which I give to the kids. Not today. I happily ate every last bite

      Rant: My incision is acting up today. Last night, I had a hard bit. I thought it was just a miniscule bit of scabbing. When I woke today, there was the teensiest bit of ooze. Seriously? It's in the SAME spot. Maybe it's the stitch that was further down which hadn't worked it way up entirely..
      I also slept on that arm again. What the heck?!

      I am so sleepy...
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    3. #19428
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      Rant: I stood in a supermarket check-out line for 2 hours last night. By the time we left to go to the other place that we need to go to was closed. That was the only check-out line that was open on Sunday.
      Plus I wasn't feeling well. I felt like shit.
      The woman cashier reminded me of the Sloth from Zootopia. It's not her fault. It's the management's fault who didn't have anyone working the other lines. At one point, she told us to tell the other people to go to another line because she needed to leave to go home. By the time another line open, we were already waiting an hour. Then we were done it was 2 hours.
      When we left home, we said, that we were going to go out to get some stuff for Canadian Thanksgiving today. Speaking of nuts, I was unable to get Pecans for my cranberry sauce and pecan pies.

      Rave: I'm almost done with the TOTY tasks.
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    4. #19429
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      TWO friggin hours standing in line?! I would be infuriated. I doubt I'd ever return to the store again!!! There's no excuse for that. Or, perhaps, people in the US are spoiled? Is it common to wait that long or was it an insane holiday rush?
      WTG with those tasks!!

      Rants: Headache. It's not my usual headache though. It's in a different spot (and my TMJ is still minimal). It's most likely do to extreme fatigue. I am REALLY, REALLY feeling it today.
      I also had to pick up the girls from work after all. (But, they're going to clean out my car in replace of giving me extra gas money )
      I might be "trying" to get a migraine. I can't see for Sh** today and I'm very crabby.

      Interesting: My "rib slippage" is acting up It just feels like my ribs (left side) are getting snagged and it pops sometimes. I had to look up what it was. I get it a lot- but normally only during really long car trips. Maybe it's associated (for me) more to stress and sleep deprivation than actual posture from driving (what I had formerly written it off as). In my search for that, though, I found another page about Costochondritis. I'm not sure that's what I have after all. That sounds more like a rib thing than a chest wall thing. Precordial Catch Syndrome sounds like a closer match... but even that's not *quite* it. Dead center between my breasts, but higher up (perhaps the middle of my chest) is where I feel the problem. It makes me "freeze" and breathing hurts until it sort of clicks back to place (almost like two muscles snagged together). I develop inflammation and pop the bone like I pop my knuckles. It was scary when it happened as a kid. Now it's just annoying, lol, and definitely connected to high stress. The search continues.

      Rave: I was draining my wound and low and behold, a bit of suture revealed itself. I had Miley hold a flashlight. I sterilized my x-acto blade and handed it to Destinee. Then I pulled it out as far as I dared and had Destinee cut it. This is going to be such an ongoing pain in the rear... but it's something I feel safe (relatively lol) taking care of myself.

      Bah: I have to go to the store tonight. I am NOT up for it in the LEAST!!!

      Rave: PT went very well... but concerning. My shoulder keeps clicking- like wonky joints are wont to do. It feels JUST like that. I worry about forcing the issue and causing damage. PT seems to think it's just scar tissue breaking up- which is a GOOD thing.
      So, I forced myself through the discomfort. Once I get to about the 3 o'clock position (but forward facing), it clicks each and every time.
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    5. #19430
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      Rant: I have a bit of a backache today. Need to check my calendar to see when my moon time will arrive.

      Rave: I slept fairly well even though I only got in 4hours 25 minutes on my CPAP (2.4 apneas an hour). I fell back to sleep after taking it off. Got in little over an hour more. Don't recall any dream specifics though (I know of three different themes but not the details).

      Rave: My rip slippage subsided after getting some proper sleep.

      Meh: have PT today. I like PT, I just hate leaving the house
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    6. #19431
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      My friend lives in the path of the hurricane.

      Rave: I have some Tasks completed. I asked my birds Yahtzee and Moxie if I can borrow their wings just until I get my task wings and Yahtzee just laughed at me.

      Add a rant to that: I have a sore throat. I think I'm coming down with something and right before my birthday... Crap.
      Last edited by Ic161; 10-11-2018 at 07:07 AM.
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    7. #19432
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      I need to vent.

      This week sucks.

      I had a birthday... that was nice... other than that... suckage.

      My favourite band, Beach House, that I have wanted to see for ages played in my country on my birthday and I didn't hear about it till afterwards.

      Then again, I wouldn't have been able to afford to go, as the day after my birthday I was told that I won't be receiving a student loan, so now my whole financial situation is completely broken. Then I left the house and immediately got a huge speeding ticket. Came back home, and my computer was dead.

      I went to the doctor to start my diagnosis of ADD, and got lots of bad news in relation to that. Basically the public psychologists are too busy with more serious mental health issues. And I can't afford private.

      I need to be diagnosed and medicated if I'm going to have a shot at succeeding with what I'm trying to do. It's way too much. Even basic human stuff that most people can do without thinking is a challenge when your brain executive functioning doesn't work. No matter how hard I try I keep making the same stupid mistakes over and over again.

      I'm not worried that people think I'm useless or an idiot for failing at simple stuff, I'm used to that and I don't care. But when I mess up or forget things and let people down, or cause them trouble, I worry that they think it's because I don't care about them.

      I'm most likely getting kicked out of a statistics course in school because I forgot to deliver two assignments in a row, even though I had completed them both days before the deadline.

      I'm falling way behind on schoolwork and I have a load of assignments and no time to do them even if I was able to start.

      When I get overwhelmed I stick my head in the sand, but if I don't get my act together and work like a champ from tomorrow on, I'll fail this semester. I am starting to think that it's for the best. But I don't know what else to do. I've been waiting for years to figure out what I want to do with my life... and now that I'm finally doing something, I'm failing.

      I just want to go south in a van, with a music studio in the back. But I know I won't.

      I just realized I have been editing this post for almost an hour, and it's more or less the same as when I posted it. I don't understand myself.
      Last edited by LighrkVader; 10-11-2018 at 08:39 PM.
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    8. #19433
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      at your bird, IC. They wound so wonderful.
      I hope your friend and their home is okay and that you get rid of that sore throat quickly!

      Vader. Your week definitely sounds like one for the books!!! Don't lose hope, though, as hard as it is. Keep hounding people for help. Try using multiple alarms to keep you on task and on time. I hope life cuts you a break and things start to go smoothly for you soon.

      Rant: I'm friggin falling asleep at my desk again. I got 5 hours, 12 minutes on my CPAP. I think I took it off at little after 9:00, but then I fell back to sleep until noon. That would come out to be around 8 hours of sleep. I annoying at being THIS fatigued all the friggin time. Provigil helps... but it helps more at 1 1/2 pills instead of the 1 prescribed. It occurred to me that I would quickly run out if I kept it up So now I'll be alternating days between them and caffeine/Green Tea pills (which are sub par but slightly better than nothing at all )

      Rave/Rant: My backache went away (for now). Since my iPad died, however, I no longer have my period tracker and I've forgotten the old system I used to use. Was it 5 days previous than the month before? 3 days? 7? My last visit was on the 21st of last month, so whatever my previous system was, I should expect it relatively soon lol.

      Rave: At PT on Wednesday, they re-evaluated me and said I had made vast improvements regarding my range of motion. Imagine how much further along I'd be if I wasn't a such lazy piece of poo. I do none of my exercises at home (except passively just through basic use).
      So, last night, I unscrewed the handle off of my broom. Before I go to sleep each night, and when I wake up, I'll start doing them. The handle is for passively lifting my bad arm with my good one. When I did it last night, my shoulder popped several times

      Rant: I STILL haven't done any laundry What a friggin bother.

      Meh: I have to roll change today if I hope to buy all my meds tonight. I guess I could just watch Sherlock to make it less tedious.

      **EDIT**
      lol, Vader, I somehow managed to miss your last sentence (I even checked the time stamps to see if our posts are overlapping... Nope). I used to do the same thing and still do sometimes. It's just part of being a perfectionist. You can work on that yourself by just letting it go. It's hard at first, but it does get easier.
      Just to prove my point, I'm going to ignore editing the fourth sentence of my rant about fatigue. I cringed when I read it
      But, meh, it's not THAT important and people can still get the gist of what I was saying
      Last edited by Zhaylin; 10-11-2018 at 08:57 PM.
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    9. #19434
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      You're able to leave that there? Your power level is amazing!

      I should probably stop editing so much as well. Problem is when I start I completely loose track of time. And I just keep editing till I catch myself.

      Edit: I was about to edit this to clarify something, but I won't. #FirstStep
      Last edited by LighrkVader; 10-11-2018 at 09:15 PM.
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    10. #19435
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      Rant: My chronic sinusitis is killing me. I become dependent on nose drugs and I barely can sleep.
      Last edited by GordanFreeman; 10-12-2018 at 02:22 AM.
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    11. #19436
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      Ha! I'm the worst. I edit too many times... Sometimes not enough. I feel worse than I did last night. I had some really epic LD Last night. I need to write them DJ.. *Off to sneeze myself to death.*
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    12. #19437
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      Bow before my superior ability to tune things out

      I couldn't find a clip of it on YouTube just now, but my goodness how it sums up my life! (It can, however be rented https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij97lXlIR-4) I use to LOVE "Monk". There was one episode where one of his assistants stole a monkey that was to be put down. She hid it in his house. Monk has SEVERE OCD- everything has to be absolutely perfect and germ free. He was walking through his house. Pictures were lop-sided, cabinets in the kitchen were wide open and food was spilled everywhere. He just continued about his business as if blind to the chaos (he was disassociating ).
      Therein lies the truth to my super power

      feel better soon Gordan. Have you tried allergy meds?
      Personally, I love "Little Remedies" because it has the least amount of drainage into my throat. When my allergies are severe though, I prefer "Flonase" (and the name brand stuff IS better than the generic for some reason). I go easy on both though because I just don't like stuff in my nose
      For allergy meds, I take an Allegra in the AM and Benadryl at bedtime... plus I get an allergy shot once a week

      IC, hope you got your dream written and escaped the sneezes lol

      Rant: I actually fell asleep at 3:30AM (instead of 4:30-5 I've been doing). I woke up at 8:30 to remove my CPAP. It seems, about 5 hours is the cap of my tolerance level for wearing it. I didn't bother going back to sleep because I had to get my shot today, which meant I could have only gotten an extra hour.

      Rave: Skipping Provigil yesterday was a great idea. I truly do think I'm going to continue skipping every other day. I can feel it working today. I was downright CHATTY at PT and I'm just not a chatty person normally.

      Rant: Haven't seen baby Raccoony all day. I hope he's just enjoying the great outdoors and hasn't gotten himself into trouble.

      Rant: Miley's unreasonable and mean when it comes to the puppy. She wants to pop him for "talking" and to dump his water for having to go outside so much. I nagged her, saying it takes 5 minutes out of her day every 3 hours and to just deal with it.

      Rant: Poor Momma dog looks terrible. She had bald spots on her rump, the tops of her ears and the tops of her feet. She's laying on the cold floor, shivering. She has a blanket to lay on in the other room, but she wants to be in here with me (no room for the blanket). I laid down a piece of cardboard and she's curled on it, but it doesn't seem to be helping at all.

      This should be a quiet day. I really hope this energy holds out. When Ray wakes up, I'm going to have him wipe down (and out) the washing machine so I can finally tackle this laundry. I have enough energy to do so for once!! It all depends on just how long he snoozes.
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    13. #19438
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      Rant: My allergies have been extreme these last couple days. My poor eyeballs are suffering the most (dry/itchy eyes). I've not been taking my Allegra regularly, so that might be contributing. I think it's mostly the change of weather, though. I'm also trying to get a "fever blister". I used to NEVER get those things, but I recall ranting here in relative recent memory. They never fully break through (so far!), which is a good thing.

      Rant: I was just sitting, here at my desk, when I heard some high pitched animal cries. Hmmm. I kept tilting my ears but the sound wasn't constant enough to track. Then Miley came back: "I need you to help me find out what's crying- it sounds like it's coming from outside."
      And sure enough... I track down the cries to the RV. Just under it, were 2 new baby cats. Their eyes have recently opened, so they're at least 6-8 weeks old.
      I heard more cries, so I called out. Then our cat, Mew, sticks her head out of a hole. Lovely. I stuck my hand up the hole but couldn't feel anything. I read what the door went to: "Sewer" I wondered if it would be locked, but nope, opened easily and there sat 3 more babies. I couldn't reach one of them and Mew bit at Miley whenever she tried to grab it. So, 4 new babies are inside. We're waiting for the other to fall out the hole (and start crying the alarm) or for Mew to come inside to eat, then we'll snatch up the last one. It's too cold for them to be outside.
      When the heck did Mew become pregnant again and how is the time-line possible? Raccoony is only 2-3 months old. She must have gotten pregnant with her new brood while she was still carrying the others (it's possible, to my amazement- I had to look it up earlier in the year, when I was confused as to why a male was mounting a pregnant female)

      BAH!!! Our Colony grows. These 5 look extremely healthy too yet Sick and dying cats are, of course, extremely sad. But so is having more cats than I could possibly care for.

      Rave/Rant: I slept from 4-11:30 AM. I thought I slept fairly well, but I'm exhausted. So I pulled up my results. I used my CPAP for 5hrs, 38 minutes with only 2.1 episodes an hour. I went back to sleep after taking it off. Fitbit says I was "Asleep" for 5 hours, 29 minutes and "Restless/Awake" for 144 minutes It seems the largest of that chunk was right before I took off my CPAP until a short while after I fell back to sleep without it.

      Rave: Momma dog looks like she's in a heavenly state. Puppy's grooming her sore ears and she's leaning into him with a look that's sheer pleasure.

      **EDIT**
      It might not be allergies killing my eyes after all. I just glanced down at my humidity/temperature thingamajig. It's currently 75 degrees with 37% humidity After months of it being well above 58% this is probably quite a shock to my system!!

      I brought in that other kitten. Mew bit and scratched at me as well (nothing serious, didn't even pierce or scratch the skin). She might have one other hiding in there with her. I thought I heard something and she's refused to leave the spot.
      She's not a fan of the puppy but she does come inside to eat sometimes (we also leave food outside).
      The kittens are in Paula and Destinees room because they have a space heater. They're not going to be overly pleased about their new roommates but there is nowhere else they can be placed that's warm and secluded from the puppy.
      Last edited by Zhaylin; 10-13-2018 at 10:35 PM.

    14. #19439
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      Bah! At around 3AM, I went to the RV to try to coax Mew into coming inside (had tried a few times throughout the day, as well). She growled, which is VERY unlike her. She was very upset. I still think she has a baby hidden in there somewhere.
      So, I ended up bringing all the kittens back out to her. The kittens had gone some 12 hours without eating which is very dangerous at their age. It's better for them to be out there, even if it is cold. I hope she just as sense enough and dexterity enough to carry them back up the hole if they fall out again.
      I checked on them earlier and they all seem healthy and happy

      Rant: I was falling asleep to the EXTREME while playing Roblox earlier. DESPITE taking my Provigil and then 1/2 a couple hours later. Those games do, indeed, seem to be my undoing. The other day when I posted about having energy and loving it.... I forgot to rant that the energy disappeared as soon as I started gaming
      I fell asleep at 4:35AM and used my CPAP for almost 5 1/2 hours (3.1 episodes an hour and I need to adjust my mask a little- had some leakage). I fell back to sleep after taking it off at around 10:30. Fitbit says I got 4 hours and 50 minutes worth of sleep
      I didn't wake up again until noon, BUT: I spent 155 minutes "restless or awake". Seriously? I spent nearly 3 hours tossing and turning? That's crazy. No friggin wonder I'm always so exhausted!

      Rave: No taxi duty OR PT tomorrow. The girls were going to need me to take them on Monday's because no one from the area works that day normally. But a friend is starting training tomorrow, so I'm off the hook As for PT, they were overbooked Monday, so I'm off the hook there too.

      Rant: I'm being over-run with Stink Bugs. These suckers are everywhere this year. Usually, I'll have 1-2 hang out in my room for a few months. There must be close to a dozen in here. Of course, most of them are too high for me to reach

      Rave: The incision is doing marvelously. No more escaping sutures so far!!

      I hope everyone had a great weekend and that y'all are looking forward to the week ahead.

    15. #19440
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      Oi! Of course I'm falling asleep at my desk now that I want to stay awake all night
      I have to take my daughter-in-law to our local hospital at 7AM for a double mastectomy (complications from Hidradenitis, not cancer). Seeing how I don't typically fall asleep before 4:30, there just wasn't any point in even laying down.
      Of course, sitting in mostly darkness is not helping matters any lol, but Birdie was insistent.

      Rant/Rave: My thighs have been killing me for the last 2 nights BUT, I just used my TENS unit on it (as high as I've ever used it lol) and it seems to have helped some. I don't know how long it will help, but I welcome the reprieve!!

      Curiosity: For the last few days (mostly night time), I've been having a tiny spot between my ankles (front side) that feels tingly. Almost like a stray hair or something crawling on me. There's nothing there though- not even any skin irritation I've had it before and it always makes me curious (same general area too).

      Rave: I see my p-doc today. 3 months between visits is far too long lol.

      Rave: I took a pic of one of my house spiders and the way the flash of my phone lit him up, he seems almost alien.

      I cannot wait until I get Paula taken care of so I can crash until my appointment!!
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