Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

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Originally Posted by Lang

Okay. :)

And MoonageDaydream sorry, I didn't see you there. That sounds painful!

The storm is bad here. Storm warning. A tree just came down right outside my house. If it went the other way it would have hit the house and me. Would be surprised if the power goes out.

Rave: My stitches came out today. I slipt on the ladder a week ago and cut my side open on the sharp edge of the ladder. I bleed a lot.

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You know, I've been through quite a few hurricanes living in Florida most of my life, but nothing was ever as bad as "Superstorm Sandy" in Connecticut. We had 4 trees down in our yard, one fell on the house and put a hole in the roof (right over the bed where I often slept), it was in the 20s that October, and no power for weeks. There's something about New England not being able to withstand those winds. The trees aren't made for it.

Anyways, I hope you stay safe and glad to hear you're on the mend. :)

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Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Over-confidence is dangerous.

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Indeed. I myself find that there's a lot I look back on from my teen years that I now consider pretty foolish that may have stemmed from over-confidence. Even so, having some confidence is often better than having no confidence at all, from my experience. I do think that there's a lot of things I could have been more patient about anyway, and other things I just should have been more proactive about. Ah well... Retrospective, nothing quite like it. :cheeky: Edit: And in all honesty, I feel like I had to make mistakes to understand things at times (but hopefully not deadly or life-changing mistakes of course...).

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You can safely ignore this part of my reply. This got me thinking anyway and I have a little rant of my own, mostly just want to type something out somewhere...

Annoyed by the low level of feedback on some of my art stuff. Sometimes wonder if it's because people lack confidence to approach me, but often I end up feeling people just don't care enough individually to contribute with some feedback. Ends up making me feel frustrated at times. I try to make it pretty clear that I want and welcome feedback, heck even a "that's interesting but you could have done this" now and then would be nice, and I especially appreciate well-constructed or thought out feedback but so so rarely do get it from anyone at all. Likewise I can never get other artists within my sphere to engage with me quite enough, and when they do, the interaction or engagement sometimes just doesn't last... I always try to be supportive of other artists, especially if they are at a "lower" skill level than my current one, but for whatever reason nobody has ever done so with me. Makes me wonder what's the point of being nice sometimes, since I don't seem to get it back. I guess I'm hopeful I'm making someone else's world better, anyway...

Random stray rant over... :P

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Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

Indeed. I myself find that there's a lot I look back on from my teen years that I now consider pretty foolish that may have stemmed from over-confidence. Even so, having some confidence is often better than having no confidence at all, from my experience. I do think that there's a lot of things I could have been more patient about anyway, and other things I just should have been more proactive about. Ah well... Retrospective, nothing quite like it. :cheeky: Edit: And in all honesty, I feel like I had to make mistakes to understand things at times (but hopefully not deadly or life-changing mistakes of course...).

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You can safely ignore this part of my reply. This got me thinking anyway and I have a little rant of my own, mostly just want to type something out somewhere...

Annoyed by the low level of feedback on some of my art stuff. Sometimes wonder if it's because people lack confidence to approach me, but often I end up feeling people just don't care enough individually to contribute with some feedback. Ends up making me feel frustrated at times. I try to make it pretty clear that I want and welcome feedback, heck even a "that's interesting but you could have done this" now and then would be nice, and I especially appreciate well-constructed or thought out feedback but so so rarely do get it from anyone at all. Likewise I can never get other artists within my sphere to engage with me quite enough, and when they do, the interaction or engagement sometimes just doesn't last... I always try to be supportive of other artists, especially if they are at a "lower" skill level than my current one, but for whatever reason nobody has ever done so with me. Makes me wonder what's the point of being nice sometimes, since I don't seem to get it back. I guess I'm hopeful I'm making someone else's world better, anyway...

Random stray rant over... :P

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Ehh.. people are like that. We are all more focused on ourselves than others. But we usually mean well.

I feel the same way, though, about my music. It's frustrating sometimes. Most people aren't going to bother listening, and those that do, some are not going to like it. But you know what? I don't care. I don't care because Nahiomy and Franceska and Naveah [students] love my songs. If you want to make someone else's world better - make art for children. Seriously, though, children's books need artists of all kinds.

What also really matters, I think, is how we feel about our own art. People didn't really understand the genius of Van Gogh until after his death, you know? And there are so many other cases like that. We can't rely on external validation. We have to trust in ourselves. So make art for the sake of making art. Seeing progress, discovering and exploring... that's where it's at. Make art even if there's no one watching.


Here's my rant: I can't get bandhug to work. :( I miss bandhub.

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Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Oh wow, you really do seem older than you are. I figured you were a college chemistry student or someone who works in chemistry. Please, please be careful. And don't do what I did. It was stupid. Yes, the rule was stupid, too, but not worth permanent damage (although I did get lucky and it healed up. Now that I think about it, I think it took a couple weeks). I should have used the shower, and then taken it up with administration. I certainly would do so now, I would NEVER do what I did then.

I have to say this. Coming from a science teacher and a mom. I would not be buying a fume hood and working with dangerous chemicals while still in high school. You have plenty of time to continue your chemistry experiments when you're older and wiser, and with a few more courses in chemistry under your belt. Right now, you need to continue learning the basics from that teacher that you don't like so much. You may not like him, but he has a lot he can teach you. Over-confidence is dangerous.

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My teacher really is never going to teach us what we need to know, though. He is just an angry old man that can't make the best out of the students he has and spends most of the time trying to calm them down by screaming and slamming tables on the ground instead of making their actions have consequences that make them stop. And his lessons are German tests or math tests with astronomical numbers, and that's our grade. It's pretty silly how horrible his lessons are. I could do better lessons. Like, for example telling my students that there are elements, made of atoms, and all the other fundamentals, except of just putting my students to a gas burner and letting them make a piece of paper darken (isn't that a pretty big fire hazard anyway?) without even explaining what is happening. All that I know about chemistry is what I taught myself.

Thanks for your recommendation not to do this right now, but I think I am ready. It's not like I am working with deadly stuff. I always have the safety set up like it all is though, and I slowly inch myself up. There's probably nothing I can say to make it look what I am doing is safe, but, like I said, I have all the safety set up like it should be.

Finally finished developing my two most promising techniques for inducing a LD, only the the fun part remain, the beta testing :yddd:

I hate that every place I end up in already existed before I could speak English fluently and is already very inactive and possibly dying. Like, in this forum there are like 5 posts per day. I keep trying to think of some fun thread I could make so that lots of people get active again and stop lurking, but I just have nothing to say. I always find these hundreds of threads which are awesome, but like 1-17 years old, and I'd like to reply, but I know that it would probably be bad since it's very necroing and I likely wouldn't get an answer anyway. Definitely not from the original authors, though. If I do get any reply, it'd be like 1-2 replies from the few remaining people on this forum. It's sad.

On a server I am on with many close friends, the server also got quite inactive since I have entered at a time where a lot of the people were currently shortly before having something happen to them that made them leave or die or just generally become inactive. I feel like I was just born too late, now the world is just in a declining state and all the forums are dying, everyone is going to social media and just become more and more ignorant. I will never experience some wonder of technology anymore. It seems like we've reached at a plateou of development. And who knows if the earth won't get more and more inhabitable to the point of no return.

On quite a better note, the fan will probably arrive sometime soon, maybe already tomorrow. But what is bad is that it is only 10cm in diameter. My father said it will still work, but I don't think so. He always just does things, and automatically thinks he's always right. Idk, I know nothing about that so maybe I should just listen.

I also hate how lucidity practice is quite draining to me. But I know that if I don't keep at it heavily now I won't reach anything, but I hope to see a sign of progression in the next 6 months. Preferably earlier, but I don't want to be greedy.

That is all for now.

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Originally Posted by Draeger

I hate that every place I end up in already existed before I could speak English fluently and is already very inactive and possibly dying. Like, in this forum there are like 5 posts per day. I keep trying to think of some fun thread I could make so that lots of people get active again and stop lurking, but I just have nothing to say. I always find these hundreds of threads which are awesome, but like 1-17 years old, and I'd like to reply, but I know that it would probably be bad since it's very necroing and I likely wouldn't get an answer anyway. Definitely not from the original authors, though. If I do get any reply, it'd be like 1-2 replies from the few remaining people on this forum. It's sad.

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I say necro them. We would probably like chatting about that stuff anyways. And, if you ask me, people come before forum rules. Rules are only useful if they are helping, but the moment they hinder, I say screw em.


*Disclaimer: Not an admin.. Don't blame me if you get in trouble ;-)*

Edit: Specify here. For minor things like necro-ing or double posting occasionally. Never for things like harassment, racism, attacks, etc.

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Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

I say necro them. We would probably like chatting about that stuff anyways. And, if you ask me, people come before forum rules. Rules are only useful if they are helping, but the moment they hinder, I say screw em.


*Disclaimer: Not an admin.. Don't blame me if you get in trouble ;-)*

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Thank you. Time to do some necroing then :D
And I'll be sure not to blame you if something happens. :)

I have material for more than 10 post a day, but sadly I can't do that, because I have Fingers Osteoarthritis and Tennis Elbow syndrome so most of the time I'm suffering from pain and numbness:thumbdown2:

And yeah forums are dying for good or worse:sad2:

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Originally Posted by Draeger

I hate that every place I end up in already existed before I could speak English fluently and is already very inactive and possibly dying. Like, in this forum there are like 5 posts per day. I keep trying to think of some fun thread I could make so that lots of people get active again and stop lurking, but I just have nothing to say. I always find these hundreds of threads which are awesome, but like 1-17 years old, and I'd like to reply, but I know that it would probably be bad since it's very necroing and I likely wouldn't get an answer anyway. Definitely not from the original authors, though. If I do get any reply, it'd be like 1-2 replies from the few remaining people on this forum. It's sad.

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From my point of view all communities and more specifically, online communities, around niche or very specific subjects (such as obscure or old games as different examples) seem to go through cycles of being incredibly active to incredibly inactive; most of these forums also tend to be pretty permissive around necroing threads for the purposes of actually reviving them or keeping content consolidated. I think over time people with any kind of common sense end up dreading forums that are filled with repeat threads on identical subjects with little or no variation (thus preferring more the longer/consolidated topics).

I too wish there was more interaction on some threads but that's just the way things seem to be... Even as I alluded to in my rant previously (and thank you for the feedback MoonageDaydream :) ), I wish I got more interaction from people who follow my art, but realistically people might not have much to say even if they like what I'm doing/saying. It's difficult to make something compelling for others to really want to participate and especially in constructive ways. Also it's worth considering that some people may not feel the confidence to participate. I myself sometimes do not post, comment, whatever in certain topics (here and in other sites) either because I feel I may come across as short or confrontational or simply because I might not have any useful input for someone else's content/thread.

It can be good to put your thoughts out there because even if there isn't a reply or interest immediately, there may be later and at least then the subject has already been brought up, or in the case reviving an old thread, a fresher input/perspective is there for some contrast and for others to think about too.

Edit: I just wanted to add that I always believed that getting people to engage is also made easier by us ourselves participating more, because people are less likely to consider things "dead" and actually want to join in too. :)

Rant: Feel like crap. Been sick almost all of the weekend. I have a slight fever right now. Busy and now sick... Bla!

Rave: So glad to hear that people are having success with lucid dreaming. You guys always have had that power within you all this time. ;)

Rant: Had this dream project going since about 22 JUL. Seven tasks in the set. Accomplished 5 and 7 within one week. After struggling for 1.5 more weeks; managed to achieve Task 4. My brain now will not cooperate and I am going stir crazy trying to get the remaining dream tasks done (1, 2, 3 and 6). Last night in a dream, I 'wrote down' one of the tasks I had to do... Brain! Writing a task is not actually doing it! Please cooperate with me and give me some results or at least some progress tonight! Rant done.

Rave: So happy today. Just got my new schedule for upcoming school year (starts in 2 days). I am NOT with the two teachers who are.. um, let's say.. "difficult" anymore, and I DO get to be my best bud's support teacher again, in addition to supporting several other friends. Only awesome people to work with! And I only have to teach 2 small ESE classes, unlike last year, where they slammed me with a regular class on top of everything else. So this year should be amazing, I am so excited and happy!

Starting virtual, so that's nice. I should be able to keep doing the LD practice (in addition to not dying from covid ;))

I hate how school starts again tomorrow. Firstly, I am possibly in the risk group for covid since I have diabetes mellitus, which is an autoimmune disease, but nobody really cares about that. We're in a classroom in which it is impossible to really be able to hold the safety distance, but nobody cares about that, either. I hope I won't die because of idiots with power who put education over health.

I also hate how I have to meet my super manipulative friend whom I haven't contacted for 6 weeks tomorrow, and I just have to hope I can say control him now, otherwise he's going to drive me insane again until I have the next opportunity to not contact him. He's going to be so mad...

Also, I have the fan for the fume hood now, but I am missing a fitting plug so I can't enable it.

Also, I hate how I can't keep up my awareness like I did 4 days ago, after which I had my first lucid dream in years, and the day after that as well. I can't remember to reality check often (which also reminds me to be aware).

Long mix of both rant and rave:
Feel like I haven't been able to be very productive at all over the last two days but they'd both been quite busy days otherwise, today especially so since it was mostly a social day. It was good for some of what's been going on but in the end I just wish I had done more of what I wanted to do and less of what I needed to, feeling somewhat frustrated at the lack of new ideas at the very least but mostly annoyed by not having the opportunity to spend time on some projects that I started a week or two ago.

I want to do work stuff in the mornings lately but just find myself too tired usually because of how busy we've been and how my medication cycles are meshing with each day's flow.

On the dream front I am feeling happy that I have managed to keep my journaling fairly consistent over the last few months in one form or another and feel especially good about my most recent lucid dream, though as always I find my mind easily wandering back to how a large part of my body's sleep quality issues and factors are ultimately outside my full control and how this feels likely to affect my lucidity rate, even though I know I shouldn't let myself believe such a simplistic view of the matter. In addition to that, DJing still feels a bit time consuming, though this isn't putting me off as much as it used to, possibly in part because of the more recent medication stuff.

Lately, most of my current dream-related frustrations have been around the fact I've been wanting to do a bit more WBTB in the early morning, especially since I've always known it to be one of the most effective techniques for me but it has proven difficult either because of time schedules, being sensitive about waking/disturbing my partner's sleep or crap going on outside our house, most of which wouldn't really bother me if it weren't for the noise that I can't seem to be able to tune out of lately. On the other hand too, I have been having more pre-lucid moments regardless, and more dream moments about... well, dreaming, which I do take as a sign that my mind is working more with "me" in terms of conscious intraconnections.

Rave: Feeling better. Still very busy with life. In a great mood... Feel good. :D

Woke up with flaring sciatica today. Probably because I've been stuck with my feet up healing from the injury I had last week. Ugh. I just want to be able to run again. And join a yoga class. Not the best of days. But I'll pull through :)

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Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Woke up with flaring sciatica today. Probably because I've been stuck with my feet up healing from the injury I had last week. Ugh. I just want to be able to run again. And join a yoga class. Not the best of days. But I'll pull through :)

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Feel better! :hugitout:

Went walking in the woods yesterday to blow off some steam when I saw a pheasant. I didn't have my camera, wish I did. Did an RC instead.
Yesterday you asked me if I was fine. I'm okay. Misunderstandings happen, it's apart of life. I have bigger things to deal with in my personal life right now.

Anyways, I had two lucids last night.

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Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Woke up with flaring sciatica today. Probably because I've been stuck with my feet up healing from the injury I had last week. Ugh. I just want to be able to run again. And join a yoga class. Not the best of days. But I'll pull through :)

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I was having particularly bad issues with my left leg for no special reason, for months; hope the recovery from the injury goes well for you. We always want to do the things we can't and it takes a lot of strength in low moods to really be able to remind ourselves that it's fine to not be able to do those things too.

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Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

Feel better! :hugitout:

Went walking in the woods yesterday to blow off some steam when I saw a pheasant. I didn't have my camera, wish I did. Did an RC instead.
Yesterday you asked me if I was fine. I'm okay. Misunderstandings happen, it's apart of life. I have bigger things to deal with in my personal life right now.

Anyways, I had two lucids last night.

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I wish I was living somewhere more remote at the moment for that reason (walking something off). Where I live now in some senses isn't too different from where I grew up, but it feels much less appealing to go outside for this purpose; like I can't have room to be somewhere kind of alone. I hadn't actually given this much thought until now, so thank you for the unintentional perspective.

Hope your lucids were fun or illuminating in some sense. :wink:

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Mini-rant: Annoyed by the gloomy weather; frustrated by tiredness and by stuff relating to my art. Overall melancholic about the nature of art and the lack of connectivity with others on the subject.

Mini-rave: Happy to still be learning things about food (cooking/baking/etc), happy looking back on my recent progress in terms of art, appreciating how it seems I've been able to improve a little bit faster by putting more work in.

You're welcome. ;) If it makes you feel better, It's only when I can get out and walk around in the woods. There are other times I feel like I have no privacy.
It's a bit dry here so it puts a damper on our Foraging. ;) At least we have some Red Reishi so we can make some tea.
It's nice outside here, today. Actually, pretty cool here. I've been a bit busier than usual, lately with the work/ family stuff that I still have to do. I barely have time for anything else. ;) I haven't been able to focus on Task Of The Month tasks, lately either. I wonder if people are still interested in it? At the least, the personal project that I'm working on is going good and strong.
I'm definitely in a better mood then I was earlier this week. Or at least for a moment. But, I still want this week to be over. Ugh!
Apparently, we will have a blue moon in October. The first and the last day.

Oh, and other news... Apparently, there is an 1% chance an asteroid is on a trajectory to hit the United States of America on November 2, 2020. Whether that is true or not, perhaps it's time to put the petty crap behind(IMO)

Rave: Had a awesome lucid last night.

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Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

Oh, and other news... Apparently, there is an 1% chance an asteroid is on a trajectory to hit the United States of America on November 2, 2020. Whether that is true or not, perhaps it's time to put the petty crap behind(IMO)

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I don't remember the details too well but I do recall in the late 90s I read some science editorial/magazine that my dad would get as part of a subscription and the main article of focus on some publication was that by 2040 or 2050 some fairly large meteor could possibly fall somewhere in North America.

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Mini-rant: Got a bad head today and feel a bit out of it overall. Feel like I haven't really done stuff I wanted to do today, but I guess it's Sunday anyway at least... There was something else bothering me but because of my head I can't even remember what it was.

Mini-rave: On the other hand, some jam we made yesterday turned out quite nice, better than I thought it would. :tongue:

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Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

I don't remember the details too well but I do recall in the late 90s I read some science editorial/magazine that my dad would get as part of a subscription and the main article of focus on some publication was that by 2040 or 2050 some fairly large meteor could possibly fall somewhere in North America.

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I vaguely remember that too. :D

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Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

Mini-rave: On the other hand, some jam we made yesterday turned out quite nice, better than I thought it would. :tongue:

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Jam? What kind?

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Rave: We are getting rain here, which is good because of the dry conditions. We are under a warning here.
Rant: We have a broken dyer and we need to a wash and it's storming. Just our luck!! :mad:

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Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

Jam? What kind?

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Nothing special, typically we just get some fruit that's marked for reductions at the supermarket; we made a raspberry/strawberry mixed jam this time. But I've also been trying to make jam with other fruits, like banana, mango and even some fuchsia berries (from our yard actually) and looking to try other things too but not in a rush to do it. Mixed results on those, though the banana works quite well (I should add my partner finds it sickly sweet, most people might). Mango seems to be a bit too fibrous and so just turns into a sort of candied fruit? Maybe would work better if I made it into smaller pieces...

Now I'm thinking of food and cooking in general... :drool:

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Eventually got over my headache from before, an hour or so ago, but really didn't get anything done that I wanted to do today, even if it was Sunday. Days that don't go like planned/hoped are normal for me but I think today I just ended up getting a bit more focused on it and feeling disappointed since I didn't feel able to do anything recreational either.

It seems this forum has gone into a School break:drink: