Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

Feeling isolated. Nothing to do with covid or lockdowns or anything like that. I simply feel unable to connect with others, at least in the way that I perceive other people having connections between one another. I think other people probably do feel this way too, at times at least. I must have made a rant about it here, before, not sure.

I'm sorry you're feeling that way Darkness. I always enjoy reading your posts and get a kick out of the conversations we end up having in the comments of our dream journals
I feel that kind of isolation from time to time, but probably in a slightly different way. I live with my wife (who I've referred to as F/fiance in my dream journals for the past few years), but because of our work schedules, there are large chunks of time we each spend alone. I'm sure that for a lot of people this is normal, but neither of us are used to it because we've been together since high school and lived together all through college. So we're pretty much each others' constant companions.
Because of that, we neglected building outside friendships and nurturing the ones we had (we both realized this a few months ago while eating brunch). Sure, we still have those friends from childhood that you can reconnect with and it's like no time has passed at all, but getting together with them takes a lot of planning. And at our age/life situation, making new friends doesn't really happen outside of work, and it's hard to connect deeply with people in that context, especially virtually. Throw in somewhat strained family situations and worst of all COVID, and we both feel pretty isolated sometimes. There are times when we're both in the house but I'm working and she's off, or she'll go to work on the weekends when I'm off. Kind of "so close but so far" all the time.
Despite all this we make plenty of time together and hang out every night, eating and watching something on the TV and sometimes just listening to music while we cook or just talking. I want to clarify that I'm incredibly lucky to have her in my life so this is mostly a Rave. Also, everyone needs some personal space and having that space is definitely healthy. But when the schedule of your personal space feels out of your control and the disconnect starts to happen, it can be pretty hard.
So suffice to say, even the luckiest people can feel isolated every once in a while. I hope you get to feeling better soon friend.

My kids today...

My son [11] has been going around trying to get everyone in the house to play these math games with him, where you have to pick a number, do some multiplication, division, etc etc, eventually you get back to your original number. He finds this fascinating. There are numbers all over the chalkboard. Anyways

He was playing with my daughter [7], his sister. I guess she was the only who would humor him at this point Anyways, my father (Grampa) calls Ian away to show him a new math trick. Lori storms in the room, mad, telling Grampa that he "destroyed their moment." Grampa: "What are you talking about?" Lori: "Ian and I were having a moment."

-

My mom is working with my daughter on her virtual schoolwork. She's letting Lori "be the teacher." Lori says "Oh! I can't be the teacher, yet. Hold on!" (she starts rummaging through her desk drawers) "I gotta put on my lipstick first!"

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

*Big hugs*

I want you to know that I always think to myself, every time you like one of my posts (which is almost every day), Aw man, I love that Darkness guy, he's so nice. That's really what I think. Believe it or not, little things like that, they actually mean a lot to me. So thank you for being someone who always goes out of his way to make people feel good.

Sometimes I wish we could have zoom meetings where we just hang out. If people weren't so afraid of strangers. It would be fun for me anyways

Thank you, that also means a lot to me. I might have said this before but sometimes I read posts from people on the forum and don't give them a like because I don't feel it's appropriate (negative situations, etc; it seems weird to "like" that?) and in those cases I usually prefer to make up a reply, but often can't think of what to say exactly or something else happens and then time goes by.

I guess to try and explain how I try to interact with others, and while I try not to take most things literally (especially out of religious texts), I do try to live by "do unto others as they would to you", even if I have failed to do so many times in the past; usually it was because of the immediacy of a situation or poor temper. When you (and others) give me validation as you have now, it makes it feel worthwhile to try and live by this, it can feel thankless at times, even if I internally know others usually do appreciate such efforts even if they say nothing. I guess I want to give others this validation or acknowledgement, all the time. It can feel difficult to be an individual in such a large and complex world and it's easier when others appreciate you or validate how you feel.

Anyway, I also understand what you mean; although I'm not much of a zoom type of person I do miss hanging out, as you basically put it. I think I miss it because it used to be so common for me when I was younger, and it feels like it was only recently, but I guess it's been a few good years now.

Oh and I really like it when you share some stories like you did above, it makes me remember what it was like to be a kid again sometimes.

Originally Posted by ZAD

I'm sorry you're feeling that way Darkness. I always enjoy reading your posts and get a kick out of the conversations we end up having in the comments of our dream journals
I feel that kind of isolation from time to time, but probably in a slightly different way. I live with my wife (who I've referred to as F/fiance in my dream journals for the past few years), but because of our work schedules, there are large chunks of time we each spend alone. I'm sure that for a lot of people this is normal, but neither of us are used to it because we've been together since high school and lived together all through college. So we're pretty much each others' constant companions.
Because of that, we neglected building outside friendships and nurturing the ones we had (we both realized this a few months ago while eating brunch). Sure, we still have those friends from childhood that you can reconnect with and it's like no time has passed at all, but getting together with them takes a lot of planning. And at our age/life situation, making new friends doesn't really happen outside of work, and it's hard to connect deeply with people in that context, especially virtually. Throw in somewhat strained family situations and worst of all COVID, and we both feel pretty isolated sometimes. There are times when we're both in the house but I'm working and she's off, or she'll go to work on the weekends when I'm off. Kind of "so close but so far" all the time.
Despite all this we make plenty of time together and hang out every night, eating and watching something on the TV and sometimes just listening to music while we cook or just talking. I want to clarify that I'm incredibly lucky to have her in my life so this is mostly a Rave. Also, everyone needs some personal space and having that space is definitely healthy. But when the schedule of your personal space feels out of your control and the disconnect starts to happen, it can be pretty hard.
So suffice to say, even the luckiest people can feel isolated every once in a while. I hope you get to feeling better soon friend.

I appreciate your sharing of this and thank you. (It's a good rave too. )

It's interesting, my situation feels quite similar to yours in some sense; I also live with my partner, referred to as H in my DJ, and like you I also don't take for granted the relationship we have. Lately though, we have been spending quite a lot of time together and I've probably been moody for it as I sometimes need my own moody/brooding time too. My partner needs alone time too but maybe not like I do; I should ask again.

What you said about friends feels familiar to me/us though. Different variables of course, but I feel I can empathise directly with most of your situation. Maybe the only difference could be that for myself the only point of contact for new friends tends to be from active interests, such as dreaming and gaming. But this often leads to meeting people who are in completely different stages of life, different timezones, etc. That has its own advantages too, but it also makes it feel difficult to keep in touch at times.

DarkesDarkness, *HUGS* I'm sorry you feel that way. I can totally relate to that. For me, I've learned to just doing my own thing, if people are on board, great! If not, well, you can't always make them change. *Shrugs*
By the way, sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring people, I'm busy with offline stuff. Help Slighting firewood, and I didn't really sleep well last night.

Rant: Oh, I had only two dreams last night. The night before I had like 8 dreams with one lucid. And I'm f**ing computer's sound does work now.

Seriously, Don't forget to vote for the new Tasks because the deadline is the 9th which is Tomorrow. Here: https://www.dreamviews.com/tasks-mon...sk-season.html

Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

DarkesDarkness, *HUGS* I'm sorry you feel that way. I can totally relate to that. For me, I've learned to just doing my own thing, if people are on board, great! If not, well, you can't always make them change. *Shrugs*

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

By the way, sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring people, I'm busy with offline stuff. Help Slighting firewood, and I didn't really sleep well last night.

Rant: Oh, I had only two dreams last night. The night before I had like 8 dreams with one lucid. And I'm f**ing computer's sound does work now.

Seriously, Don't forget to vote for the new Tasks because the deadline is the 9th which is Tomorrow. Here: https://www.dreamviews.com/tasks-mon...sk-season.html

Hope you can get your sound issues sorted out. Any clues as to where the issue is more exactly? Maybe can help you troubleshoot. I've been having a pretty frustrating issue with my computer lately but at least it's only been happening rarely and hopefully also solved it now by doing something anyway... Time will tell.

I can vote if you'd like me to, but I have to say the Tasks don't really draw me in since I seem to only get a couple of lucids per year at best. So I'm not sure it's a fair vote against that of those who actually do get to dream lucidly more frequently. What are your thoughts on this?

Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

Thank you, I appreciate that.



Hope you can get your sound issues sorted out. Any clues as to where the issue is more exactly? Maybe can help you troubleshoot. I've been having a pretty frustrating issue with my computer lately but at least it's only been happening rarely and hopefully also solved it now by doing something anyway... Time will tell.

I had to close down a couple of times

Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

I can vote if you'd like me to, but I have to say the Tasks don't really draw me in since I seem to only get a couple of lucids per year at best. So I'm not sure it's a fair vote against that of those who actually do get to dream lucidly more frequently. What are your thoughts on this?

Well, that is okay for now because it is open for people to vote, just until people are doing more of the tasks. We do usually post voting booths in the Lucid Club but, since there are not many members who are doing the tasks, (The Winged members) it's more open. Go for it!

Rave! Many of my pets recovered from me accidently poisoning them. Both pistol shrimp are able to move fairly normally and the one who is paired with a gobi fish has rejoined the gobi and they both seem happy. The crab is no longer paralyzed, so I only killed 3 peppermint shrimp. I was so horribly sad for the gobi. They are symbiotic and loosing its shrimp would just be too tragic.

Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

I can vote if you'd like me to, but I have to say the Tasks don't really draw me in since I seem to only get a couple of lucids per year at best. So I'm not sure it's a fair vote against that of those who actually do get to dream lucidly more frequently. What are your thoughts on this?

Just my thought, but, I think the act of voting and making suggestions can really motivate and increase the general desire to become lucid. That, in turn, can be enough to cause more lucidity

Originally Posted by sivason

Rave! Many of my pets recovered from me accidently poisoning them. Both pistol shrimp are able to move fairly normally and the one who is paired with a gobi fish has rejoined the gobi and they both seem happy. The crab is no longer paralyzed, so I only killed 3 peppermint shrimp. I was so horribly sad for the gobi. They are symbiotic and loosing its shrimp would just be too tragic.

Sorry to hear about your pets.
Glad that they are doing better now.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Just my thought, but, I think the act of voting and making suggestions can really motivate and increase the general desire to become lucid. That, in turn, can be enough to cause more lucidity

Yes. Maybe later we make the Task Of The Season but, for now, this month we will just do with the task of the month. Sorry for the confusion.

Rant: I had a dream last night that had to do with some superhero stuff, again. Sadly, I woke up, with a cold sweat, followed by a violent shivering, Feverish, though that I didn't get a chance to go lucid. I slept most of the day, today.

Rant: Got up much later than I wanted to (again) and dreaming about unresolved issues, which meant quite a bit of writing. Sometimes DJing takes too long, even if the future self will probably appreciate I took the time to do it.

Rave: Have appreciated all the positive points of contact lately, both here and elsewhere.

Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

Rant: Got up much later than I wanted to (again) and dreaming about unresolved issues, which meant quite a bit of writing. Sometimes DJing takes too long, even if the future self will probably appreciate I took the time to do it.

Rave: Have appreciated all the positive points of contact lately, both here and elsewhere.

Find a balance between doing something and doing so much it is a burden. If DJing becomes frustrating and time consuming you will resent it and stop. DJing is my big failing, and hard for me to keep up, although it is one of the best tools out there. I start with forming a quick outline in my mind. Example for two nights back. ---People are moving in my house. It makes me mad. Uncle says he eats much cereal, so I see they will be in main house. I complain saying something about a throwing rock.--- There is more detail I remember, such as where each portion took place, that there were 3 men moving in and so on, but I get down the outline first and add in more detail if I feel like it.


Rant: I have no one to help me with moving large objects unless i ask others to go out of there way and schedule a time to meet with me. It is frustrating. Many things must be done with more than one person and there is no way around it. It makes it hard to do things.
Rave: I moved a giant tank on my own! Only 3 feet, but that is what I needed. I drained all but two inches of water and could move it still on its stand about 1 inch each time. It took a long time and much effort, but I did it.

Rave!: I see HumbleDreamer and MoonAgeDayDream have both recently earned their Veteran Second Class badges. Congrats guys! We are lucky to have you both as part of the community.

^ I had a lucid Task dream about a fish Tank, Sivason. I think it was because of the discussion of it. I became lucid after I realized that I was also underwater, trying to put a cuttlefish in with all the shrimp, lobsters, and other tropical fish. The cuttlefish landed on my hand and changed color to fit my complexion.

Rant: I just burnt my tongue.

Rave: My uncle got his Vaccine.

Originally Posted by sivason

Rant: I have no one to help me with moving large objects unless i ask others to go out of there way and schedule a time to meet with me. It is frustrating. Many things must be done with more than one person and there is no way around it. It makes it hard to do things.

I definitely empathise with this. The work we do would literally be impossible if only one of us was on the job. Sometimes even having a third-person helps but most of the time two people is just what's required for almost everything we do. This applied to moving furniture in the house plenty often too. It makes me wonder how people who live alone manage to cope with these issues.

Originally Posted by sivason

Find a balance between doing something and doing so much it is a burden. If DJing becomes frustrating and time consuming you will resent it and stop. DJing is my big failing, and hard for me to keep up, although it is one of the best tools out there. I start with forming a quick outline in my mind. Example for two nights back. ---People are moving in my house. It makes me mad. Uncle says he eats much cereal, so I see they will be in main house. I complain saying something about a throwing rock.--- There is more detail I remember, such as where each portion took place, that there were 3 men moving in and so on, but I get down the outline first and add in more detail if I feel like it.

Thank you. I have given very similar advice to others at times too and I feel I'm generally in a decent place with my DJing at the moment, not as active as some periods, but not as inactive as other periods either; I think my rant was mostly because I've been having a long string of days where I'm getting out of bed much later than I want to and combined with everything else going in a day it's just really eating up a bit of spare time I'd otherwise have.

Originally Posted by sivason

Rave!: I see HumbleDreamer and MoonAgeDayDream have both recently earned their Veteran Second Class badges. Congrats guys! We are lucky to have you both as part of the community.

And agreed on this sentiment too.

Originally Posted by sivason

Rave!: I see HumbleDreamer and MoonAgeDayDream have both recently earned their Veteran Second Class badges. Congrats guys! We are lucky to have you both as part of the community.

Wow, I totally miss this?
Thank you! As it been that long? It feels like five hours, I just became a member here. Time flies when you are dreaming! I think MoonAgeDayDream beat me by a year. Congrats anyway!

Rant: I forgot my coffee this morning. And, we're doing diagnostic testing right now, so it's like the one day I can't sneak out to Starbucks. Head ache all day

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Head ache all day

That sucks. Weirdly enough if I miss tea/coffee for some days, I don't get headaches, but I do get headaches if I have decaff tea, go figure.

Rave: Been a bit sunnier lately, not as much as I could wish for but what a difference it makes for me anyway.

I once made a post stating that I wished I had some bumper stickers that say. "I'd Rather Be Lucid Dreaming" Someone on Dream Views made it happen. I still have them. The proof is my current avatar. I'm still amazed that even happened. The top right of the sticker says "dreamviews.com

I was giving my son a shower yesterday (he usually needs a little help, he's 11 and has autism, so I stand outside the shower and help with rinsing his hair and such). We were in my parent's bathroom, so I used my dad's shampoo. It was Head and Shoulder's for "Men". When my son saw it was for "Men" he had the biggest, proudest smile on his face. It was priceless.