Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

RANT! You all know what a cholonoscopy is? I have one tomorrow. I had to go all day on just liquids with no substance (no milk) just flavored water and such. Now I have to take the chemicals that will clear everything out.
So there you go, if life is frustrating today, at least you are not doing this!
Rave? I don't know, I am healthy and safe and so on, it is all good.

I'm very frustrated that they have mandated teachers wear masks again (students can opt out). All summer and the end of last year we were told that masks would be optional this year. 2 days before school starts they change the policy. The problem for me is that the masks cause uncontrollable "maskne" on my chin. It's extremely frustrating and I am worried my skin is getting damaged. I am already seeing a derm and have 2 prescriptions. They wanted to give me a 3rd prescription but my insurance declined it (it costs $700 a tube without insurance - not an option). Without masks, and with the medications, I can keep it under control. With the masks, I have no hope. I wash my face in the middle of the work day (in addition to morning and night), I dispose of my mask and get a new one after lunch. I don't know what else I can do.

I understand that health and safety are most important, but it's hard to stand behind that when most of the people getting hospitalized have chosen not to get the vaccine (97% according to this article). I'm also not sure how effective it's going to be when students can opt out, and we're cramming so many kids into small places (desks are right next to each other).

I'm just frustrated.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

I'm very frustrated that they have mandated teachers wear masks again (students can opt out). All summer and the end of last year we were told that masks would be optional this year. 2 days before school starts they change the policy. The problem for me is that the masks cause uncontrollable "maskne" on my chin. It's extremely frustrating and I am worried my skin is getting damaged. I am already seeing a derm and have 2 prescriptions. They wanted to give me a 3rd prescription but my insurance declined it (it costs $700 a tube without insurance - not an option). Without masks, and with the medications, I can keep it under control. With the masks, I have no hope. I wash my face in the middle of the work day (in addition to morning and night), I dispose of my mask and get a new one after lunch. I don't know what else I can do.

I understand that health and safety are most important, but it's hard to stand behind that when most of the people getting hospitalized have chosen not to get the vaccine (97% according to this article). I'm also not sure how effective it's going to be when students can opt out, and we're cramming so many kids into small places (desks are right next to each other).

I'm just frustrated.

I can understand the frustration. Here in NSW there's been almost 400 cases daily, so the whole state has mandatory masks at the moment for all citizens. I have to have mine on all day in the office. Also we have a 'mask Nazi' that patrols the office and reports anyone who isn't wearing their mask. So, it's unpleasant. For me, no skin issues, but it definitely makes my ears hurt. I can't see the mask mandate ending any time soon either.

Originally Posted by yuppie11975

I can understand the frustration. Here in NSW there's been almost 400 cases daily, so the whole state has mandatory masks at the moment for all citizens. I have to have mine on all day in the office. Also we have a 'mask Nazi' that patrols the office and reports anyone who isn't wearing their mask. So, it's unpleasant. For me, no skin issues, but it definitely makes my ears hurt. I can't see the mask mandate ending any time soon either.

I'm glad my ears don't hurt!

Surprisingly, I am doing OK. I mean, I'm like a maniac with my meds and face washing, etc., but so far I am doing good. One key difference is never ever skipping a day of the medication (I would forget a lot before).

I also have a bit more empathy than I did when I wrote that post. Was talking with one of my neighbor teachers. She can't get the vaccine because she has blood clot issues. She also has diabetes. So she's stuck and scared. What's worse? Covid risk or vaccine risk? I don't know, but I feel really sorry for her.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

What's worse? Covid risk or vaccine risk? I don't know, but I feel really sorry for her.

In almost every case COVID risk is thousands to tens of thousands times higher.

Originally Posted by Sivason

In almost every case COVID risk is thousands to tens of thousands times higher.

I agree with you, and if it were me I would take the risk. However, it's hard when another teacher in our school lost her uncle to a blood clot after taking the J&J (I think the chances would be lower with Moderna/Phizer though).

No mask mandate here. Thank gawd.

Moved 5 times within 6 months. Life has been crazy yet awesome.

I can't even talk about how angry I am right now. The district just had a 11:30pm vote last night (wtf) to mandate masks for all students without medical exemption starting Monday. Honestly, I am seriously concerned about the masks' long term impact on our young children. They have lowered oxygen levels and increased carbon dioxide levels, which may not be harmful in the short term - but we can't really assess scientifically the long term, because we are the guinea pigs here. And this is going on at a time when our children's brains are growing. Furthermore, the bacteria we are breathing in, is this healthy? I don't know. But I'm pissed, because my son has autism, and can't stand the masks. He is sensitive to anything near his face. And now, if I want to exempt him, something I've been promised by the government, I can't just go get a doctor's note. I would have to go through the Federal Disability Law, and that process takes weeks and weeks. Forget the fact that in 2 weeks I can vaccinate him, and I was planning on it. Fuck that, why even bother?

And all this decided without any input from us parents, at 11:30 at night randomly, with NO warnings.
Eff this crap.

And of course, us teachers are not allowed any medical exemptions. Even though my friend has chronic bronchitis and can't breathe (she's just defying the mandate entirely, but I'm afraid to do so, I don't have her status of power in the school). I am however, breaking out again. And I am really really trying not to.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

I can't even talk about how angry I am right now. The district just had a 11:30pm vote last night (wtf) to mandate masks for all students without medical exemption starting Monday. Honestly, I am seriously concerned about the masks' long term impact on our young children. They have lowered oxygen levels and increased carbon dioxide levels, which may not be harmful in the short term - but we can't really assess scientifically the long term, because we are the guinea pigs here. And this is going on at a time when our children's brains are growing. Furthermore, the bacteria we are breathing in, is this healthy? I don't know. But I'm pissed, because my son has autism, and can't stand the masks. He is sensitive to anything near his face. And now, if I want to exempt him, something I've been promised by the government, I can't just go get a doctor's note. I would have to go through the Federal Disability Law, and that process takes weeks and weeks. Forget the fact that in 2 weeks I can vaccinate him, and I was planning on it. Fuck that, why even bother?

And all this decided without any input from us parents, at 11:30 at night randomly, with NO warnings.
Eff this crap.

And of course, us teachers are not allowed any medical exemptions. Even though my friend has chronic bronchitis and can't breathe (she's just defying the mandate entirely, but I'm afraid to do so, I don't have her status of power in the school). I am however, breaking out again. And I am really really trying not to.

Sorry to hear about that moon...we're all in this together.
The physical and psychological impact in our children and us, as parents and teachers is devastating...I don't believe vaccines should be mandatory for everyone, the fact that messes up with your DNA is enough to say NO, it's MY BODY! and who has the last word on when the virus is gone and we can go back to normal? the President? the Scientist?...
I say to all this bullshit illusion: FOLLOW YOUR HEART and HAVE NO FEAR! LIGHT GIRL IS HERE!

Originally Posted by monsa199a

Sorry to hear about that moon...we're all in this together.
The physical and psychological impact in our children and us, as parents and teachers is devastating...I don't believe vaccines should be mandatory for everyone, the fact that messes up with your DNA is enough to say NO, it's MY BODY! and who has the last word on when the virus is gone and we can go back to normal? the President? the Scientist?...
I say to all this bullshit illusion: FOLLOW YOUR HEART and HAVE NO FEAR! LIGHT GIRL IS HERE!

Haha, thanks for that, made my day.

I played a science song for my students on the uke today. They loved it. I had two 6th graders singing along with me, and my 7th graders gave me a standing ovation! (rofl, guess they haven't figured out I'm not cool yet... ). <3 For the first time in a long time I feel like writing music again. So that's nice.

Had a code 5 today. This kid could not stop coughing. It took admin 15 minutes to come get him (not allowed to send code 5's out). The other kids were scared.

Other than that.. I really love my new 6th grade class. Another great group. We did a fun lab yesterday.. they got to measure a piece of candy, find its mass using the triple beam balance, and its volume by water displacement in beakers. Then they got to eat a candy and use taste as an observation. They enjoyed it.

[Sorry for double post, can't edit]

Double posting can be allowed if the window to edit has expired. Hope they get better soon.
======

BUSY! and but, Alive... Well, mostly.

Annoyingly, of late I have some really decent recall for the first few moments of waking up, but I think my sleep has been even more crap than usual lately - we need to do something about our bed - so I haven't really been able to write down the recall because I'm too tired and other thoughts just flood in and make me want to ignore the recall. Plus, I should make some time for catching up on updating my DJ here...

On the other hand, other things have been going kind of fine, so maybe now just isn't the time to focus on dreaming anyway. Well, not until we get the bed sorted anyway.

Rant: They demoted my boss who liked me to the same rank as me and gave the lead position to my co-worker who really does not like me. This makes me fearful for my future with the company.
Rave: Just over a week until they will do surgery to replace my ACL which got snapped in half while grappling. I have been trying to do Kung Fu but it is not easy with my right knee completely unstable. It will take a full year before I am allowed to pivot on the knee, but after that it should be as good as my other knee.

Ughh, walked into a trap today at work.

A lady from the district showed up to observe me and another teacher (with our new co-teachers). Why? We spoke up during a training last year. Even my ESE boss spoke up too, on our behalf, about the impracticality of the models they wanted us to use along with no planning time to plan it out, and an excessive amount of ESE paperwork due to Covid. Their models are the usual stuff they give which looks good on paper, but not based in reality in the classroom unless you teach amazing perfect kids. The lady wasn't too pleased that we spoke up. She actually suggested we planned with our co-teachers on the phone together while driving to work, or stayed after hours.

So, it went great today, except, we weren't using their models. I used an embellished assist model - they don't like that model, but I tried. I wanted to use their models (for the show, anyway). Problem is, the lesson got changed last minute last night, so I was going in blind (that's normal, but today is a bad day for that). Also, my co-teacher is new to co-teaching, and it is her room, her class first and foremost. She does the planning for it. I have to respect that and follow her lead. So it basically it was her teaching, and me awkwardly standing next to her hoping she would pass the reigns a bit, as we had talked about, (she didn't) and me trying to cut in (ugh) without interrupting her too much (maybe I should have? I probably could have done it in a way that didn't come off as rude). But we did do a good job with both of us assisting the kids. I know they want to see both of us actively teaching, rather than just her teaching, and me assisting the kids (which is normal).

This district lady isn't too fond of me, I suspect, so I don't expect anything good to come from this. In fact, when she left, she thanked my co-teacher twice. She didn't make eye contact with me. Didn't smile. I don't know how I did, although I thought things went well (outside of using the wrong model). She'll talk to admin (my bosses), and I guess someone will tell me?

Good thing is, I feel like I just don't care. I'll swallow my pride, and jump whatever hoops I have to until she leaves me alone. Honestly, I work too hard for this crap. And admin knows that. They already know I'm a good teacher so I hope I don't have to worry about her messing with my reputation.

Had a bad night last night. I have a bad earache. Not in the greatest mood.

Sleep Schedule is crap. I've *NEVER* been able to get a handle on this. I think that about all else is and has been holding back my dreaming practice. Tearing myself away from the computer is difficult.

I've fallen back to arguing with idiots on FB, despite that it is like teaching a pig to sing ("...It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig" -- Mark Twain). This despite the fact that I KNOW that it aggravates me, raises my blood pressure, and leaves my mind like a hornet's nest whacked with a stick, which is just what you DO NOT want prior to lying down to sleep.

The art of argument is long lost. "Argument" online is just a perpetual screaming match, full of logical fallacies: moving the goalposts, strawman, reducto ad abdsurdum, the list does on and on. It seems nobody is capable of actually producing a single coherent, logical train of thought.

Our government has made a fabulous mess of the pandemic. All hope has been placed on vaccines that are more dangerous to take than is claimed, but by exactly how much, and for whom, it is impossible to say because adverse event reporting is a joke. All the other critical approaches like: high quality ventilation, rapid/cheap antigen contagiousness testing, Government agency and social media are shutting down discussion of any other prevention or protocols that can be taken with or without the shots (e.g., FLCCC, google them).

Rant: My surgery is on Tuesday. They will remove my snapped knee ligament and place a piece of cadaver tendon where they want a new one to grow. I will be basically crippled for many months and that makes me anxious and a bit fearful.
Rave: I have been on a strict eating regiment for a couple months. I must not be at a calorie deficit while unable to work out, and must build back up my glycogen (stored sugar reserve) before the surgery. I just ate 4 slices of pizza and 2 squares of brownie! It tasted really good. I will eat about 3200 calories a day for 3 days and then figure out the correct amount to eat while bed ridden. Anyways, I get to eat lots compared to my last 2 months, so that is a big plus!

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Ughh, walked into a trap today at work.

A lady from the district showed up to observe me and another teacher (with our new co-teachers). Why? We spoke up during a training last year. Even my ESE boss spoke up too, on our behalf, about the impracticality of the models they wanted us to use along with no planning time to plan it out, and an excessive amount of ESE paperwork due to Covid. Their models are the usual stuff they give which looks good on paper, but not based in reality in the classroom unless you teach amazing perfect kids. The lady wasn't too pleased that we spoke up. She actually suggested we planned with our co-teachers on the phone together while driving to work, or stayed after hours.

So, it went great today, except, we weren't using their models. I used an embellished assist model - they don't like that model, but I tried. I wanted to use their models (for the show, anyway). Problem is, the lesson got changed last minute last night, so I was going in blind (that's normal, but today is a bad day for that). Also, my co-teacher is new to co-teaching, and it is her room, her class first and foremost. She does the planning for it. I have to respect that and follow her lead. So it basically it was her teaching, and me awkwardly standing next to her hoping she would pass the reigns a bit, as we had talked about, (she didn't) and me trying to cut in (ugh) without interrupting her too much (maybe I should have? I probably could have done it in a way that didn't come off as rude). But we did do a good job with both of us assisting the kids. I know they want to see both of us actively teaching, rather than just her teaching, and me assisting the kids (which is normal).

This district lady isn't too fond of me, I suspect, so I don't expect anything good to come from this. In fact, when she left, she thanked my co-teacher twice. She didn't make eye contact with me. Didn't smile. I don't know how I did, although I thought things went well (outside of using the wrong model). She'll talk to admin (my bosses), and I guess someone will tell me?

Good thing is, I feel like I just don't care. I'll swallow my pride, and jump whatever hoops I have to until she leaves me alone. Honestly, I work too hard for this crap. And admin knows that. They already know I'm a good teacher so I hope I don't have to worry about her messing with my reputation.

Bad luck Moonage - all part of the corporate/public sector unfortunately.
These types of people need to justify their importance - don't pay it any mind

Rave:
Two lucid dreams in two nights! It's a miracle! Even wrote them down in my dream journal which I hadn't touched in months.
Meditation before bed really seems to increase the odds of a lucidity

Work is really starting to pile up. Had to stay late today... so tired. Graded a million papers.

On the plus side, my students really liked their lab last Friday. They raved about it today ("Miss! When are we doing out next lab? That last one was so cool!") and took pictures of themselves with their finished products. Their groups had graduated cylinders, and 7 different liquids to organize by density in their cylinders - they guessed on the order. If done correctly, it makes a beautiful "density column" and the liquids stack on top of each other without mixing. I add food coloring to some so it looks like a rainbow. They use dish soap, water, rubbing alcohol, mineral oil, vegetable oil, syrup and honey. They learn about density and measuring, but mainly, it's to teach them the scientific method.

Sad. Had a bad day today, well, at least for a portion of it.

I was talking with one of my co-teachers from last year at lunch. She's a very young, brand new teacher. I was her only and first support teacher. This year, she has a new guy as her co-teacher, a man who previously was a sub. He's not a science teacher, nor does he have any ese experience. My friend Dan said his first interaction with this guy was him showing up 15 minutes late and coming in announcing "Sorry I'm late, I had to take a shit."

Anyway.. I started talking to her about co-teaching stuff, and she quickly said "I'm just happy because my new co-teacher actually takes initiative. No more having to give directions to my co-teacher." Ouch. I just said "Awesome. Bye!" and walked away. I did not know how to respond to that...

A couple weeks ago she said to me, after I said "I miss co-teaching with you!" she says.. "I'm actually a lot happier with my new co-teacher because he shows up everyday." I thought this was rude thing to say, but I always believe in giving people a little wiggle room. I feel like sometimes people say things or word things in ways they don't mean.. but after today's comments too, I realize this lady is not my friend.

In my defense, I couldn't show up every day last year. I shared the period with another teacher and classroom. I also had a mountain of paperwork constantly. I did the best I could. And my intentions with people are always good. I certainly didn't try to not have initiative.. I'm just not able to read her mind. I also know that one thing I should NOT do is try to take over someone else's classroom or talk over them, etc. I always err on side of respect with my co-workers. I feel really sad that she felt that I didn't meet expectations, but I also think if I had "taken more initiative" she would have felt disrespected. Unfortunately, I think she's in for an awakening with the new guy when he starts having to write IEPs and stuff, too.

I think the best way to handle this is to gently ask her why she felt that way, and approach her with love. I'm not going to be spiteful. I'm going to try to understand her, and say something like "I'm sorry that you felt that way. It certainly wasn't my intention. I hope we can have a better working relationship in the future."

I will say this, though. It's not uncommon (in my experience) for women to hate on other women. It's happened to me so many times in my life, I can't even count. And.. this explains now why I've had so many bad dreams with this co-teacher in it...

That was sad to read, I feel like she really could have been more respectful... I am not a teacher or anything but I would absolutely have been the same as you with regards to behaviour; I would let the other person be in their role of leadership and actually let them lead, trying not to step over their toes, etc. Normally I only take initiatives in that sort of situation if I'm absolutely sure it's a good idea but a lot of times, I feel it's a bit like you suggest it could have been, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't...

Anyway, not being spiteful is probably better since it also lets you walk away from it more calmly one way or the other. I hope you feel better tomorrow, anyway.

Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness

That was sad to read, I feel like she really could have been more respectful... I am not a teacher or anything but I would absolutely have been the same as you with regards to behaviour; I would let the other person be in their role of leadership and actually let them lead, trying not to step over their toes, etc. Normally I only take initiatives in that sort of situation if I'm absolutely sure it's a good idea but a lot of times, I feel it's a bit like you suggest it could have been, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't...

Anyway, not being spiteful is probably better since it also lets you walk away from it more calmly one way or the other. I hope you feel better tomorrow, anyway.

Thank you Dark. It makes me feel better to have friends that are understanding.

Today while I was getting ready to leave one of my other co-teachers classrooms, she was staring at me. I decided best thing to do is not make eye contact, be engaged with with what I am doing (talking with Ms. Y.), and be unaffected. If she makes another comment I will question compassionately, but otherwise I think it's best to just avoid without being rude or anything. Keep contact minimal and professional. I think this because I think she was looking for a reaction from me, and I am not going to go there. Nor am I going to grovel and apologize when I shouldn't. Not that I don't care, I do, but I think this is more an issue with her expectations combined with poor communication than my performance as a co-teacher.

I feel a lot better.