Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Hehe, I see the post magically disappeared....

Suena, you should do it. There used to be an EDM club around here called Afterlife that was basically set up exactly like you described, and I spent most of my time there doing exactly what you want to do. It's unbelievably fun.

Women are literally insane, all of them. Sorry but it's true.

Also I had one of those mega awkward things where you're like "what?" and the person didn't say anything of substance.
That mega mega hot girl at work who I mentioned ages ago, she was just shopping after her shift and I'm like "Doing some Christmas shopping?"
And she's like "hehe yeah" and then I thought she said something else so I said "huh?" but then instantly realised she probably
just said "heh" or "yeah" again. And she's like "what?" and I'm like "what did you say?" and she's like "I just said I'm doing some last minute Christmas shopping"
And I'm like "oh".

HAHA oh god.... that kind of thing will never stop being awkward. Thankfully we were kinda far away from each other so I guess it wasn't like we were
trying to have a proper conversation. But still.... I hate my complete social awkwardness. It took me way too long to realise it's not even close to being last minute Christmas shopping, it's still almost 2 months away and I should have made a joke about that.

Le espirit de escalier. Hah....

Ergh! This depression is driving me insane, or rather I have driven myself insane and I know I need to stop doing it, but I don't appear to be able to refocus. Obsession, depression, frustration, losing track of priorities, feeling sorry for myself, getting riled up over stuff that I should let go and can't. I have identified the problems. I know some of what I need to do to resolve them. And yet I am not doing it. It's like my record is stuck, my mind is overloaded, and instead of moving on and refocusing and changing my perspective, I insist on torturing myself even more and narrow my focus even more to issues I should avoid but can't, and oh how I wish I could just wipe my inner white board clean and do what I know I need to do and not what my mind insists on doing without my consent.

Just deleted Google+ from being tethered to my you tube account, here's the video for anyone who caved in and realized how much they despised after the fact that it killed how your you tube channel was two day's ago.

Edit: "Hey you tube I defeated your Google+ scam, and am commenting under my you tube account, so go stfu." my first post in 3 day's after the fix ;P

Women are insane if you push certain buttons....for me yes, you will have to.

Hathor, if you refresh the page after posting you could have liked his post. That happens to me a lot lol. Both of you submitted your post at the same time

I feel absolutely horrendous. I;m shaking like I'm freezing or a junkie or something. My eyes dont want to focus properly. Even now, I have tto frequently fix typing errors.
I just woke up. I finally slept for 11 13 hours and the sleep was good. But arrrg... do I feel this way from those all-nighters or is this something else (I frequently wake shaking a tad bit and often wake with a headache but on the 1-10 scale, those would be a 3-4 and this is a friggin 8). So I took 2 ibuprofens a caffeine pill and my nasal decongestant. Hopefully at least one of those things will rid me of (at least) this headache.
I blew my nose for several minutes (ew, gross, I know lol) and I can finally breathe again. Gah!!!

Been talking to hubby. He pointed out the obvious. Hypoglycemia. I'm going to go eat something and see if that helps.

**EDIT**
Bless my hubby, I feel a million times better. The jitteriness is gone and the headache is tolerable. I live on Coke, so I never think of my blood sugar. Shouldn't that have given me a rise? Or maybe it wasn't fast enough seeing how I just sip my drinks. All I've eaten thus far is 3 pieces of Hershy's white chocolate with candy cane bits (one of the BEST chocolates ever lol). I checked my notebook, and sure enough, I hadn't eaten anything since 4PM yesterday.
I'm such a dunce sometimes. Why keep the notebook if I miss important things like that?

Reading other people's posts every day while being unable to properly articulate anything worth saying myself is getting depressing and is making me feel like a stalker. I haven't been able to contribute anything for a long time, not even to off-topic discussion. There is no point in posting about personal stuff on a public forum. I've grown out of it - not that it's immature, it's just not for me any more. I'm really one of those "few close friends" kinds of people to an extreme.. I'm only comfortable giving someone all or nothing, and the 'all' is almost always directed toward a single person. An attempt at anything in between is just awkward to the point where I literally can't even have regular friends. Giving arbitrary information about my personal life to strangers is becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I need to focus on school more anyway. Hope everyone's lives go in the right direction though. Good luck.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

Ergh! This depression is driving me insane, or rather I have driven myself insane and I know I need to stop doing it, but I don't appear to be able to refocus. Obsession, depression, frustration, losing track of priorities, feeling sorry for myself, getting riled up over stuff that I should let go and can't. I have identified the problems. I know some of what I need to do to resolve them. And yet I am not doing it. It's like my record is stuck, my mind is overloaded, and instead of moving on and refocusing and changing my perspective, I insist on torturing myself even more and narrow my focus even more to issues I should avoid but can't, and oh how I wish I could just wipe my inner white board clean and do what I know I need to do and not what my mind insists on doing without my consent.

Wow Joanna, I totally catfh you... mind my bad writng I'm drunk s fuck atm. I can indentiy theproblems in m ylife also but I don'tdo shit about it. It soounds like we're going thro the same right now... so I know how you feeling atm. Just gotta do what you wntd to do and just get it over with it. Having the metanl power to do so is hard, very hard... ad that's life for you. Let's give it our bests

RANT INC: So I met this girl while travelling and handed me her phone.. she put in the right number. I see thatas an idicator of interest. So I messaged her "You lost your glass shoe at the train" and then bablabla back and forth. Told her I'mm oging to the city this saturday and asked her to go with me. Her reply "I'm going to 072" she said, which is the town where we both live. Not a definitive answer. Should I ask her again or just go by myself and send her a picture of what I bought?

I haven't been able to contribute anything for a long time, not even to off-topic discussion. There is no point in posting about personal stuff on a public forum. I've grown out of it - not that it's immature, it's just not for me any more.

i've been feeling that way for quite some time on here. though i don't really feel like a stalker as i'm not stalking anyone in particular but rather more as an observer.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Reading other people's posts every day while being unable to properly articulate anything worth saying myself is getting depressing and is making me feel like a stalker. I haven't been able to contribute anything for a long time, not even to off-topic discussion. There is no point in posting about personal stuff on a public forum. I've grown out of it - not that it's immature, it's just not for me any more. I'm really one of those "few close friends" kinds of people to an extreme.. I'm only comfortable giving someone all or nothing, and the 'all' is almost always directed toward a single person. An attempt at anything in between is just awkward to the point where I literally can't even have regular friends. Giving arbitrary information about my personal life to strangers is becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I need to focus on school more anyway. Hope everyone's lives go in the right direction though. Good luck.

But we aren't strangers.
Maybe you don't know people as well here. I dunno. Seems weird to me that you don't wanna share stuff suddenly?
Honestly I think what you describe is a problem. It's never good to give everything to one person.
If they leave, you're fucked.

And I used to be like that, so I know. I still am a bit a lot, although I'm trying not to be.

JoannaB, "Wisdom does not a wise man make... it's the application of the knowledge that makes one wise."
I thought up that saying 13 years or so ago and it still passes through my mind every now and then.
We can KNOW what we should be doing but it's useless until we actually DO it lol
But that's easier said than done! for your suffering.

Dianeva, you're a "lurker" not a stalker I get into that mode from time to time as well. I'll read for a while but don't feel like sharing anything (or there's nothing to tell) and then I feel bad about having not commented on so many posts. The longer I wait to reply, the harder it gets

Suena, thanks for the advice earlier. I'm almost happy to hear of someone else sharing my minecraft addiction

No real rants from me today... at least not yet. I tool a benadryl last night so I would have to sleep in a timely fashion. I had very weird dreams because of it. One of the dreams was a combination of minecraft and farmville. In another I was looking for cave systems lol which is an aspect of minecraft but it was an actual dream. One of the caves I found was very creepy but some person ran me off from it. I tried searching for another one but it seemed hopeless. Instead, I went looking for a cave system I've dreamed about since childhood, but I never reached it.

Other than that, I'm waiting for my daughter to wire me gas money so I can pick her up tomorrow.... except, I don't know if they'll be available for transfers on a Sunday. I better call her.

I have survived the worst hangover I've ever experienced. I also have awoken to some pretty hilarious pictures, no recollection oh how and when I went to bed or when I removed my shorts and promptly lost them.

Damn, they were good shorts.

Originally Posted by Wishfulthinker

I have survived the worst hangover I've ever experienced. I also have awoken to some pretty hilarious pictures, no recollection oh how and when I went to bed or when I removed my shorts and promptly lost them.

Damn, they were good shorts.

How much did you drink? Sounds like quite a party.
edit: As someone who also gets terrible hangovers, I sympathise a lot

Umm, rather a large amount. I was having chili sambuka shots at one point. But I hate chili, and aniseed. I'm not certain what I got out of that at all but I do know I'm never touching it again. Unpleasant taste. Blurgh. Who enjoys that?!

I would just like to draw attention to this. It's awesome and I can't think of a situation I'd ever use it in so...

I now have to catch up on all the work I was supposed to do Sunday. Cx Oh life when will you slow down a tiny bit? :')

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Hehe, I see the post magically disappeared....

Suena, you should do it. There used to be an EDM club around here called Afterlife that was basically set up exactly like you described, and I spent most of my time there doing exactly what you want to do. It's unbelievably fun.

lol Yes. My drunk mind couldn't evade my conscious for long. I posted it and went and took a shower. Then as soon as I had my towel wrapped around me I ran to my laptop to delete that post. I don't know why. lol. I guess I realized how silly I was being. I get like that when I'm drunk, it drives me crazy. At least I can delete the evidence on here.. Unfortunately I get carried away in real life and THAT can't be deleted, only hopefully forgotten by the other drunk nuts around me.

Anyway, I would do it. I might do it. Eventually. It does sound incredibly fun... and like a very good workout.

Destinee was able to wire me gas money... I pulled an all-nighter and picked her up yesterday. Round trip was 351 miles. I was gone for about 8 hours.
When I got home I crashed for 8 hours and now I feel pretty good.

I've finally realized that I don't really eat anymore. When I got so sick the other day it had actually been 26 hours between meals (not even a slim jim because I was out and that's what I usually eat). I would like to lose weight but it's not something I even think about let alone work toward. I just don't feel like eating. It's weird lol. My stomach will be making noises I've never heard before and I'll realize I'm hungry but I'm like "ehh, don't feel like it".

I'm not concerned about this strange behavior, just curious. My kids have laughed at me in the past because I'll be eating something and then give it to them and they ask "You're full?!" and I reply "Eh, I'm just bored and don't feel like eating."
Which usually translates to "I need to do something (like play a video game) and can't if I'm eating". So, I got into the habit of watching Hulu whenever I eat. But I've not been in the mood to watch anything. I just want to play minecraft.
Is not eating a sign of addiction to that game lol

Ugh.. anyhow... I have to find and wash my clothes today for my upcoming trip.
Ugh
I'm still not looking forward to that. I know I'll love it once I'm there, I just really hate the getting there part
I also need to go to the Library and the grocery store. Blech.

Ok, Google kept on buggering me to make a Google+ and to link it to you tube every time I click on anything.... So I had no other option.... But To use Google+. JK nope, to delete my 6 year old you tube channel. They really want you to be their slave, I say Fuck Off then ;P I had some good friend's and subscriptions on there but you know what? I am not a policy, I am not a walking billboard, and I sure as fuck am not going to tell the world what I had for breakfast just so I can comment, or up vote on a god dam video.

I was crocheting and ran out of yarn. Not sure when I'll have the time to go buy more.. So here's a pic of my half-done skirt.
IMG_0325.jpg
I'm gonna leave it aside for now..

Looks nice, why does it need to be longer?

Originally Posted by Anju

I was crocheting and ran out of yarn. Not sure when I'll have the time to go buy more.. So here's a pic of my half-done skirt.
IMG_0325.jpg
I'm gonna leave it aside for now..

That reminds me that on my to do list is that I need to locate and organize my crochet stuff. I could really use some crocheting since I find it very soothing. Unfortunately I have a lot of yarns and hooks. However, most of them I do not know where they are because this is how it works: (a) my mother would come to visit and would decide to help me clean up, and so she would naturally cut crochet stuff as far out of the way and out of sight as possible because who needs that, right? My mother never could understand and appreciate this hobby of mine. (b) we get a housekeeper who comes in every other week to help with cleanup because I am working full time mother and wife, and it really helps to have someone come in to help. Well sometimes there will be some stuff in her way of cleaning, so she will move it out of the way, and sometimes bag it with other stuff. (C) my kids will be looking in the closet for stuff to play dress up with, so they will dump all hats and scarves and yarn and whatever else they find into the bottom of the walkin closet. (D) sometimes my husband may get to it before me, and he may decide that there is too much stuff in the walkin closet anyway, so he might take half of it without sorting it - thus for example one ball of yarn but not another, and one crochet hook but not another, etc

End result: I have bags which contain a mixture of hats, mismatched gloves, clothes that are too small for the kids, broken toys, pieces of toys that would be functional if only anyone knew where all the pieces are, and some incomplete pieces of crochet project, all stuffed into one large bag that is too heavy to really lift, and has been stuffed out if the way on the top most shelf if the walkin closet, ready to fall on the head of anyone brave enough and idealistic enough to think they can find a matching pair of kids gloves. Yikes!

Cat just threw up in my room 4 fucking times and the first time was all over the work trousers I need for tomorrow. What the fuck cat you've been to the vets 3 times now and they say there's nothing wrong with you WHY YOU THROW UP IN MY ROOM EVERY NIGHT SO I HAVE TO CLEAN IT WHILST EVERYONE SLEEPS AND NO GO AWAY DON'T RUB YOUR FACE AGAINST ME OR MY KEYBOARD YOU'VE JUST THROWN UP YOU HAVE GERMS AND IT'S LATE I'M SO PISSED YOU'VE WOKEN ME UP WHEN I WAS SLEEPING AND EDWUPRIBGEFFROEWD *explodes*

Oh. And now you chew my laptop cable. The third one because you bit through the other two. The second one when it was away in the draw you hbvjli; befghlvfl!!!!! You're sleeping outside tonight. I won't be answering your meows.

Very great, Anju!! I hope to see the finished project

JoannaB, I understand COMPLETELY lol *sigh* You can laugh about it later but while the chaos is going on... Ugh! I used to want to pull out my hair as well as everyone elses
My kids are adults now and they don't come into my room which is where I store ALL of my stuff. My room is about 13 feet by 10 feet and most of it is occupied with furniture. My daughter was nagging me, saying I didn't need EVERYTHING in my room. But yeah, I do. Being adults, they're a whole lot better than they used to be, but I'm in the habit now of keeping everything within sight. It makes for a monstrously cluttered bedroom (which is also my library, entertainment room (computer, music) and dining room. 95% of my daily life is spent in this room.
And that's just the way I like it.

Wishful, for you (and kitty). What a little monster you have! I've had cords chewed by puppies and a bunny but never my cats/kittens.

My rant is that my calve (I always want to type "calf" lol) is super sore today. As in, charlie horse sore. I thought it was driving, but Destinee reminded me of the many trips we made up 3 flights of stairs to take her stuff to the car. I hope that's it. And I hope it leaves me soon. I have that trip coming up in about 24 hours!

Cool half-skirt Anju. Although yeah, in some places that would qualify as a whole skirt lol

Originally Posted by pointofbeing

Ok, Google kept on buggering me to make a Google+ and to link it to you tube every time I click on anything.... So I had no other option.... But To use Google+. JK nope, to delete my 6 year old you tube channel. They really want you to be their slave, I say Fuck Off then ;P I had some good friend's and subscriptions on there but you know what? I am not a policy, I am not a walking billboard, and I sure as fuck am not going to tell the world what I had for breakfast just so I can comment, or up vote on a god dam video.

You could just ame a fake name google account. I did that ages back when they made me link my gmail and youtube (and then all gmail accounts automatically became google+ accounts). I can't give up my subscriptions and 2700+ favourited videos, even though I'll probably never watch any of those favourited videos again lol

Originally Posted by Wishfulthinker

Cat just threw up in my room 4 fucking times and the first time was all over the work trousers I need for tomorrow. What the fuck cat you've been to the vets 3 times now and they say there's nothing wrong with you WHY YOU THROW UP IN MY ROOM EVERY NIGHT SO I HAVE TO CLEAN IT WHILST EVERYONE SLEEPS AND NO GO AWAY DON'T RUB YOUR FACE AGAINST ME OR MY KEYBOARD YOU'VE JUST THROWN UP YOU HAVE GERMS AND IT'S LATE I'M SO PISSED YOU'VE WOKEN ME UP WHEN I WAS SLEEPING AND EDWUPRIBGEFFROEWD *explodes*

Try giving it different food. Alternatively, kill it. Cats suck.

________


Rave: So I applied to two different courses, one will allow me in to two universities once completed, the other will allow me to transfer to bachelor of science at one uni, not sure about the other, after I've completed a few of the maths and chemistry units. My friend also goes to that university so that will be cool if I get in to the course. Otherwise I'll just do the first one.

So now I pretty much wait and do maths and chemistry on Khan Academy every day.

Things are pretty good atm

Oh I also talked to the mega hot girl at work, properly. So that was good too. But pretty sure she's not in to me. I still like looking at her though haha

So today I went to a narcotica anonymous meeting, to cure my disease that is called addiction. It was a strange experience. Everyone was very nice and open, and they have showed me love and warmth in a way I haven't experienced before. I feel good about this whole thing and I'm going again next thursday.