Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Some people are pretty chill and friendly there on Discord. Yeah, it can be awkward at time but, it's not that bad. I feel bad for my endless babble on there, though. I'm still thinking of taking a break from there.
Rant: This was a picture last week when I was sick... I'm DEAD!! According to this, I am:

Spoiler for sick:

I was sick but, I don't think I WAS that sick. I never have any luck with those things.

Rant: My truck caught on fire... Last week and I need a new vehicle. It's not every day your own vehicle catches on fire. It was on the news, according to my friends but, I didn't see it.
Rave: Just showed my mom the Facial composite or profile drawing of my DC, and she was like, "Man, he is handsome. I love his eyes!" That she started telling me that I should do more drawings and yadda yadda yadda. My brother didn't like him though. :/
Oh, yesterday I had a dream that I got in a fight with that very same DC that was in my TOTM. It was over who broke the washer and Dryer. He was acting like a jerk...

Does that say your temp was 107?
Yep. We're talking with a zombie

Every time I take my temp, my normal shows up as 97.3 And it doesn't matter if it's the oral thermometer or the one you press against your head. My temp just runs low. I always have to explain to people that if my temp is 99, then I'm running a fever lol.

Your truck caught on FIRE? My goodness, how crazy! Glad no one was hurt, but it sucks that you now have to get another vehicle.
As for your brother... brothers tend to just suck They have a habit of doing things JUST to get a reaction or to get under our skin... OR to appear apathetic and "manly" so we don't see just how much they care lol.

Sorry about your DC lol. I think it's great that you have them, even if this one was a jerk My DC's are either people I know in RL or from TV shows I've been binging. I know I've had a few that were of my own creation, but they're never recurring characters or anything (except for Jeff Tassin when I was in my teens).

Rant: My schedule. I REALLY need to do *something* about it- if only to get back on a proper medicine routine. As it is, I sometimes take my daily/morning meds at 10 AM; other times, it's not until 6 PM

Rave: It's such a silly thing, but cotton sheets ARE the way to go. I recline in bed. When I was using my cheep poly-blend sheet, I would constantly "slip" further and further down until I was practically laying down lol. I couldn't find a clean fitted sheet, but I had a queen size flat sheet, so I used that instead. It has been amazing. It's not constantly getting bunched and threatening to pop off of my desk (my bed). The flat sheet stays tucked against the wall perfectly, and offers more "friction" (?) against slipping down.
Ahhh, the little things in life

Back from the dead. I have a girlfriend now, I really really like her. I think she could easily be the one for me.

Yeah, I'm still looking for a something to drive. Good thing the truck was insured.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Does that say your temp was 107?
Yep. We're talking with a zombie

Every time I take my temp, my normal shows up as 97.3 And it doesn't matter if it's the oral thermometer or the one you press against your head. My temp just runs low. I always have to explain to people that if my temp is 99, then I'm running a fever lol.

Yeppie: Glad to hear.

Your truck caught on FIRE? My goodness, how crazy! Glad no one was hurt, but it sucks that you now have to get another vehicle.
As for your brother... brothers tend to just suck They have a habit of doing things JUST to get a reaction or to get under our skin... OR to appear apathetic and "manly" so we don't see just how much they care lol.

Sorry about your DC lol. I think it's great that you have them, even if this one was a jerk My DC's are either people I know in RL or from TV shows I've been binging. I know I've had a few that were of my own creation, but they're never recurring characters or anything (except for Jeff Tassin when I was in my teens).

Rant: My schedule. I REALLY need to do *something* about it- if only to get back on a proper medicine routine. As it is, I sometimes take my daily/morning meds at 10 AM; other times, it's not until 6 PM

Rave: It's such a silly thing, but cotton sheets ARE the way to go. I recline in bed. When I was using my cheep poly-blend sheet, I would constantly "slip" further and further down until I was practically laying down lol. I couldn't find a clean fitted sheet, but I had a queen size flat sheet, so I used that instead. It has been amazing. It's not constantly getting bunched and threatening to pop off of my desk (my bed). The flat sheet stays tucked against the wall perfectly, and offers more "friction" (?) against slipping down.
Ahhh, the little things in life

Yeah, a zombie attack is all that we need here. But, hey, at least we will be more alive.
Rave: With that DC, We made up.

Rant: So, last week, I had a sleepwalking incident where I climbed a tree. *shrug* It's most likely stress was involved in my sleepwalking incident.

Rant: I'm kind of regretting even posting the fainting dream. It's slightly more personal than the other ones. The silence is deafening.
https://www.dreamviews.com/general-d...ing-dream.html

Rave: I had a funny dream, last night, where I went back in time to ancient Rome. I was jailed and even sentenced to death. I grew to be a giant to escape. I remember saying something sarcastic at them that they didn't like and then they attacked me with their little weapons. The feeling of getting stabbed by their tiny swords felt like getting attacked by toothpicks which tickled. The earth quaked in every step that I took.

So I've joined DV discord but I have no idea how to join in the convo and I'm just lurking around. Omg I'm not used to the forum emoticons anymore hahaha.

But I've so much going on in my mind nowadays I don't think I'm ready to engage in small talk with anyone. And I'm also spending more time talking to myself in my head. But I'm gonna take baby steps, the top of my list is to sleep well and feel refreshed. Then I can go ahead to solve other issues in my life like actually having a friend to talk to, somehow I grew distant from everyone ever since I quit my job last year and have been jobless for more than a year, I'm not quite sure when things gone downhill, but some days I feel humans are just so disappointing..

Most of the time, I feel like I don't have anything in common with people there on Discord either. Well, when you are ready I hope that people will welcome you with open arms.

Sorry I've been so absent. I've taken my isolation to an extreme. I've even disengaged from FB (where I mostly lurk, but I'm not even doing that).
I don't think I'm depressed. I don't FEEL depressed, anyhow I'm just in between "meh" and content.
But freezing my butt off. My heater cannot keep up with the cold. It's currently 66 degrees in my room with the space heater maxed out. I've been spending a ridiculous amount of time in bed, for the blankets and heating pad

I have my iPad, though, so I could do all the social things I normally do on it. I just haven't been.

Glad you joined Discord, Carrot. Even lurking can be helpful. It makes you feel connected, if only a little. And as you lurk, you'll learn things about everyone, which makes conversation a bit easier.

IC, loved both of your dreams, but the Giant one sounded great I've had those sort of fainting dreams as well. I HATE those. Those types of dreams are the ones where I feel VERY sleepy and I struggle to find a room so I can go to sleep and enter "the real world". It's more like an alternate reality than a lucid dream.

My car battery was completely dead the other day. We got it on the charger and it did okay after that. But the weather is extra extreme again. I have a Dr. appointment early tomorrow. The car barely started just now. It's warming up to melt everything off the windshield and then I'm putting it in the garage and back on the charger. I also have to pump my tires some.

I had an endoscopy yesterday. He said everything LOOKS okay, but he took several biopsies.
(Tomorrow is just the allergy PA. My followup for the endoscopy isn't for a couple weeks or so)

Despite freezing my butt off, I REALLY want a frozen coke But there's no way I'm going to go get one. The roads will be extra slick. And, I'm about 95% certain that corn syrup and cold beverages is a leading contributor toward my bloating AND gastroparesis. Everything I drink HAS to be ice cold... which can slow down digestion.

Lovely...

Gotta go take care of my car.
Stay warm and safe, everyone

Yeah, I forgot my cord to my Ipad at my sister's house. So I can't listen to stuff.

Rant: It's cold...

Rave: I had a dream that my Dream Character was asleep on the couch, he cuddled a tomato.
I recall that I woke him up and asked him why was he was sleeping with a tomato? He answered, "Hmm because he got lonely."

Then in another dream I had, that same DC, Where had the same face he did in the last dream but, he had the body of a baby... Except for his feet, they were his normal shoe size. Then I went lucid... Then I did one of the tasks of the month. LOL
The task of The Month: Lucid: https://www.dreamviews.com/tasks-mon...ml#post2231725

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

My car battery was completely dead the other day. We got it on the charger and it did okay after that. But the weather is extra extreme again. I have a Dr. appointment early tomorrow. The car barely started just now. It's warming up to melt everything off the windshield and then I'm putting it in the garage and back on the charger. I :

My sister did too. Weird. My sister was on the way home from bringing my nephew to an interview and the broke down... My nephew wants to be a Broadway star.

It's my friend, Boothy's birthday tomorrow.

Spoiler for Rave:

-I’ve been enjoying my short vacation from the first job for Thursday and Today. Had a day off Friday last week, but that just meant doing the 2nd job at night as I will tonight around 7 pm. Got Kingdom Hearts 3, and it’s been a blast despite some criticism I have over it. It makes me feel tempted to just bring it back to Gamestop, and get whatever money I can get, but I think I’ll just keep it because of this decade long hype.

-I got my girlfriend into the diet I’m getting back into, and I’m happy she’s making strides despite her hectic work as well. I plan to meet her sometime around June and hopefully get her here before the end of the year, or the early period of next year. She seems to be handling her emotions better, and I think I have as well. I experienced some things with her that just made me more understanding, and I’m happy she was able to help with that. Funny thing, before that awakening, it was really rough…very rough to the point where we were questioning our relationship. But, I guess it was needed as going further into the relationship without assessing that can be more damaging. We won’t be perfect, but at least we know what to do when certain feelings collide and cannot synergize. She actually admitted to being sorry for something for once…not that I’m getting a kick off of that, but I’m glad she’s building some character of humility.

-I’m going to try to draw again, but just for fun. Glad I cut ties with some communities that just made me cringe despite whatever money they were throwing at me. I cringe at myself, and my doings to make a little side money. But now, it’s not worth the pressure if it devalues my genuine desire to do art as a hobby. I’m glad I got a reality check when two jobs force you to not bother with the race with art and commissions. I went on my deviantart page, and someone asked if I'm still doing commissions, and I checked their profile and saw some weird stuff. Yeah, keep your money.

Spoiler for Rant:

– So for the first job, I’ve been a little uneasy because they’re doing a test phase for a new position to be done overnights where I might get shoe-horned into. There apparently are options I can take to transition if I don’t want to do that, but, it’s the fact that the company is putting it under the rug, and not informing us to prepare for our livelihood in the event that bothers me. There are so many people in the community for the position that are having it way worse than what I’m going through as they already have familial ties to consider; I just have to worry about keeping two jobs, so I’m job hunting in the meantime while I milk out however long this other job will last. It’s when that new CEO that came and starting trimming the fat is when the restructuring, cutting of hours, reaching the bottom line, and catering to shareholders that shows the fake empathy they pull off is just unbearable.


So for the second job, they made someone else a manager with less experience than me. I’m not mad or jealous, but she herself admits the job isn’t worth it, and she’s only doing it because her first job she quit bullied her. It was a higher paying job, but with her back problems and all, and her struggle with keeping her children happy and being single at the time (before her husband finally came back, fortunately) was stressing her out, I guess. I find it funny they made her a manager, but she’s asking me for help on how to make co-workers productive. You’d think the trainers would be able to coach a little better to not make an associate end up doing that? Even the manager that I was paranoid before (but we’re awesome work buddies for the longest time now) was wondering why they chose this individual. But, in hindsight, I’m actually glad they picked her because I can see what I may need to work on if they still want me to move up. Apparently, the new General Manager of the restaurant is considering me to be one in the future as well, which explains his casual questions about my first job.

Speaking of which, said new General Manager rose an ant’s nest by trying to push his misogynistic tendencies by bullying the manager I work within the mornings on Sundays. It got to the point where she started to cry during the job (while the GM is off on Sundays). I couldn’t really let her feel defeated and gave her some of my experiences in assessing things like this. She appreciated the advice, and it actually helped her prepare when the boss of our bosses pulled them into a room and gave them a chance to spell out their issues. I told her the new GM is just trying to pan out how to increase the morale but is getting advice from the night time crew that is honestly despicable (and I work both morning and night shifts, so I know the contrast), and clearly has hostility towards her. He even reduced which shifts she’s a manager, but she still gets her usual hours. Just 1 day at first as manager, and now 2 days. Seems like a dick move, but I told her with his new power (since he was a regular shift manager), to just let him exhaust his emotions until he burns out. From the talk they had with their boss, the boss said they’ll both get fired if they can’t work it out, and that they wouldn’t be having that conversation if they didn’t care about them. Anyway, they’re trying, and they both stated they are committed to trying to be better. The new GM though had to give one last rebuttal, though, which shows a lot of his character to get the last word.

You’d think, that’s none of my business, but when the manager that feels bullied can’t take it anymore, they can become passive-aggressive to their co-workers. So, I felt inclined to offer advice since I had a much worst situation than that with my own peers from my old job. She ended up hugging me before they had the talk, and she appreciated it, which was kind of a shocker as I felt it was just basic advice. I guess she just needed someone to talk to as she felt cornered most likely. I told her the new GM will be a fox in a corner if he keeps things up. And, his misogynistic disposition isn’t exclusive to her, he’s doing it to the other co-worker that got promoted with less experience. He wants to be the top dog in the house, but I know outside of this, he means well for the company. He just needs to get used to the bigger-picture scale with all of that money and power, and just tone down the prejudice just a notch, or two. I also assured my manager that when new stores open when the company branches out, they’re going to obviously consider her to be a GM someday. I told her she knows this place like the back of her hand, and if, metaphorically speaking, the place was falling apart, she knew what resources and who to call that she had to exhaust.

She admitted she had more favoritism towards me, and I just kind of lightly chuckled it off. I’ll still do my due diligence for the 2nd job as usual, and I won’t be begging for the position. If it comes, it comes. If they can match the pay for the first job, and the first job seems shaky, I’ll take the offer. The worst case scenario is I just step down. She’s already talking to me as if I’m her boss at times when we discuss this strife she has with the new GM. I guess you can’t really keep things low-key when it comes to managerial stuff and trying to assure others at work for too long.

What bothers me though is my attempts to care about this stuff while trying to sort out the situation with the first job, and juggling both jobs altogether. It’s not the actual day-to-day practices of both that bothers me, it’s just the job security of one over the other. Things are a blank canvas, and I need it to be like that to frame myself to jump ship if one job is just not catering to my livelihood. To privately experience all of this without an outlet, but letting yourself be someone’s sponge…I need to be careful of how I portion myself out. Otherwise, I start questioning what value is there to take more damage while I’m trying to pull myself together.

Spoiler for Rave:

However, all I can do just remember that despite the inferiority, and questioning, and all that, I can still get things done, and still hold two jobs without burning out. I have a future with someone I can carve a reality with that also has values and knows the struggle that can make this experience in life more fulfilling. I have to remember that all of these inconveniences I feel are unrelated to me can help me have more experiential learning in the future. Within a few months, I’ll have at least a year of restaurant experience and may push for 1 more year if the company is still thriving, and try to go for managerial roles either in Florida or in Texas. I have to keep close ties with my previous supervisors, but I think despite this hectic ride, its fun.

Link, "hectic ride" is right! My goodness. Sounds like a nightmare to me, and like you dodged a bullet by someone else getting to be manager! Glad you could help the lady out, though.

RAVE: The weather is thawing out some. It actually reached 75 in my room, today... the cold ruined me a little though, so I quickly turned the heat down to keep it at around 73 (I usually prefer it to be 77 unless I'm moving around/doing stuff).

Rave: I finally got the TV set up in my room... but only because I needed my poop bucket, which is stored at the bottom of my glass cabinet; which was blocked by the TV.... Yeah our plumbing froze completely: No water in or out/no working toilet (the pipe out freezes too).
Sometimes I'm thankful for this gastroparesis

Curiosity: When the pipes freeze, I pee in a large 64 ounce cup. It took me 3 days to fill it up. (I could have sworn I've written about this already.) I usually drink 60 ounces of Frozen Coke every day, plus some 6 ounces of Sprite or Coke, plus some 6 ounces of water. So that's, what, 72 ounces of beverages every day. How is it possible, then, to pee only c. 21 ounces a day? Ha! I just googled it. Most people urinate 800-2,000 ml a day, or 27-67 ounces. There are 67 ounces in 2 liters (recommended water intake). I'm at the low end- of acceptable.
I guess the rest of it is just processed and used for bodily functioning?
Learn something new every day, I guess

Rave-ish: I'm watching "The Punisher" on Netflix. I'm REALLY enjoying the show, but I've had to look away a few times (gratuitous violence with gore).

Rant: My shoulder's been hurting a lot, these last couple of days. Not enough to take meds for... but enough that I WANT to take meds for, lol, but there's seldom enough food on my stomach to do so.

Rave: Hubby bought me a new car battery

I finished both seasons of The Punisher. It was really good. There, more than likely, won't be a season 3 though If, by some miracle, there is, it won't be out until 2020 anyhow.

These friggin "migraines" are getting on my last blooming nerve! There's seldom any pain associated with the worst of them- just visual disturbances and some nausea. I should be thankful, but they alter my mood and just make me snappy and irritable

I see my p-doc tomorrow. I'm going to tell him all of this, but he'll probably just tell me to have a checkup lol I KNOW my BP has been running too high nowadays. When I went in for my endoscopy, they nagged me about getting on daily BP meds. When I saw the allergist, he agreed, but said I absolutely CANNOT take beta blockers and continue my allergy shots

SO... I should probably try to wake up at a decent hour tomorrow, and see my regular Dr. as a walk-in (my p-doc is at 3:00 and walk-ins are stopped at noon... blah. I HATE mornings )

Rant/Rage/Rave: I got the Xbox up and running... then I found my old HD's and used one of them last night. My gracious those Profiles are OLD. The rants and raging is because none of my old logins/passwords are working. When I FINALLY "recovered" one of them, I was then told there was an error and to contact support
I browsed "My Games" and I had forgotten some of those games existed but I LOVED them (Viva Pinata; Kingdom of Keflings; Astro Pop). But, even though they were saved onto the HD, I can't seem to be able to access them. Maybe I need Xbox Live or one of my Profiles to work. I tried creating a new Profile, but my password kept being rejected for my email
The keyboard wasn't working and controller typing was enraging me, so I finally had to give up.
It IS nice having a console again, though.

Hope everyone is well out there in Lurkerville.

Meh. I didn't sleep yesterday. With my new schedule, there wasn't any point (asleep by 6AM-ish, awake by noon-2).
At 9, I called my car dealership to finally schedule my oil change and the replace the passenger side airbag which was recalled (on for Thursday).
Then, I went- as a walk-in- to my Family Dr.


Having had no sleep, my BP was 120/80 He doesn't think I need BP meds because it fluctuates so much. He ordered a bunch of blood work, then did some carotid imaging test to see if I have any blockages or something.
We ended up covering more info than just the BP, and he wants to try me on a monthly injection for migraines. I need to study up on it GREATLY before I fill the script.
I see him again in 2 weeks.

Then, I saw my p-doc at 3 and we talked about everything under the sun (as usual), and I still managed to forget half the stuff I initially WANTED to talk about
I see him, next, in 3 months. Blah.

Got home, and just chilled with my iPad and Xbox.... and then hubby's car alarm kept randomly going off. Seriously? Which meant, I had to call and wake him from his nap... and then I had to go over to help him investigate and troubleshoot. He couldn't hear it from his end of the house, but I could see the lights flashing and hear it from across the yard (I'm in a direct line of sight/earshot though) That was at around 8 PM... then it went off some more until he removed the battery from one of his fobs.

Rant: I smell dog poop in my room. I've checked my shoes and they're clean. I only smell it from my desk.... ahhhh, perhaps it's coming in from the yard. My AC isn't perfectly sealed in the window.

Rage: My internet keeps crapping out since adding the Xbox. It's bogging down the router again (even though I plug it in directly... it can't find anything wirelessly.)
I'm going to have to troubleshoot that some, as well. I am NOT logically intelligent, though. All this tech stuff just confuses me then makes me super cranky.

For now, though... it's time to go back to bed and back onto the game systems until 6AM-ish.

I apologize if I don't make sense, or even the fact that I'm not really in a great mood. Ummm. Yeah, my brain feels smushy...

Rant: Moxie, that little snot bit my hand... Err!! Little vampire!! Or Better yet!! Moxie, the pet owner slayer. As he bit me, and I winced in pain, the birds, Yahtzee, the other bird laughed at me like a bloody joke.
Rant: I'm having one of those times where everything could go wrong, has gone wrong... The worsed is that it is effecting on how am writing or thinking even on here. I feel like I'm not making myself clear at work, You know? Plus, people are saying that I'm burning my candles at both ends. Then they act like they just don't care. Then there was that nightmare that I had last night, about "The Devils Stumping Ground". Other than that it has been peachy.
I even had a dream like this: https://www.dreamviews.com/dream-int...ml#post2232029

To all those assholes out there who hate me: I hope you're proud of your self. I hope you have a real feeling of accomplishment. Because one day, and you know what it might not be in the here or now. It might not even be the near future. But one day you're going to open a newspaper, or you're going to turn on the television, and you're going to see that I or some other dream master that you bullied, has done something truly spectacular. And as you're putting on your name badge from Pretzel Time you'll say, "Wow, I really wish that I was nice to that girl." Because you're laughing now. You say digital wedgies are a way of the future. Well OK, I have one of those wedgies right now, in my pants. But you, have a much deeper darker, wedgie on your soul.

Now, I feel just selfish, for even taking up everyone's time.

Originally Posted by Ic161

Well OK, I have one of those wedgies right now, in my pants.

IC.
I hope you're feeling, at least a little bit, better today. And I hope every day, hereafter, gets better and better.
Jerk's can all jump off a bridge somewhere.

I feel you Zhaylin. I've been feeling pretty "meh" too but I don't think I'm depressed. And socialising is tiring, even scrolling too much Facebook and absorbing in what everyone is posting can be tiring too. I really want to try to go into isolation for 2 days over the weekend, but I can't seem to find anything interesting to do, games or shows.

I'm currently working part time with 2 friends. One friend is my real life friend for over 10 years, the other friend is an online friend and we're in the same fandom.

Earlier today in the office, I was feeling excited about something in my fandom, and my online friend came over to see what was on my computer screen when she saw how happy I was. Then we started chatting. My real life friend, who wasn't part of the convo, suddenly make a judgemental comment and spoiled the mood, and this has been bugging me for the whole day. I also just did a Google search on "how do you unfriend someone in real life". I don't know, maybe I should slowly disengage from her and get away from all the negativity. But first I need to get a new job so I don't have to see her everyday. Hmm....

This is a random thought. But I think perhaps the best colleague I ever had in my life, was that one guy who was constantly depressed, but he will listen to whatever I say without judging me personally, we can talk about anything, rant about anything, talk about the most random things, and we've probably seen each other on our most exhausted days. I wonder if I should find a way to bring him back into my life hmm...

Yeah, they know where they can alright.

Rant: Let me see. I twisted my ankle, bruised my ribs, sore arms and had some scrapes but, before that, I had to go save my mom with car trouble, she blown tire. I'm not feeling too well, to deal with the interrogation from some people that would not stop bothering me. Err. On top of that, I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies, you know?
I also had a lucid that was sort of a nightmare: https://www.dreamviews.com/nightmare...ml#post2232177

I might be coming back to DV more often because of this thread. Because only this thread makes me feel comfortable, among all my countless social media accounts.

Rave: I thought I won't be able to make a new friend again. But I managed to chat with someone online for hours consecutively and it felt really good. She told me things that others don't usually tell me, I'm able to tell her things that I usually have to think twice before I tell others, and I don't feel I'm on pins and needles all the time, wondering if I said the wrong things, wondering if I've made myself vulnerable because I exposed too much of myself. But baby steps... Maybe one day I won't feel this lost any more.

Rant #1:

Spoiler for “Rant”:

A manager was adamant about quitting, and she barely finished her third week. The GM gave her crap over trivial things, and it got to the point where she screamed and cursed at him. She had an operation for her child she waited a whole year to do, and the guy just shrugs off her livelihood like it’s nothing.

And, to add on to his abysmal emotional aptitude, when she seemed like she wanted to quit, he asked her if she was sure so he can find another replacement. Like, I get that at the end of the day, you need to find someone to staff, but given her outburst, you really think that was appropriate? All of us had to console her when YOU couldn’t learn how to coach her if she truly did something wrong. She’s not the type of person to be offended by criticism, but you belittled her and never gave her opportunities for growth; you even stated to her that all of ‘us,’ whoever that is to you, are in a training phase.

So, why....with just three weeks of experience, you are giving her crap? You, on your first e-mail to all workers, stating you care about our opinions and want to make things work, suddenly shrugged off this woman’s livelihood and children until it was nothing but piss and s***. Why virtue signal an open-door policy mindset when you clearly are not in it to be open in the first place? You continually snowballed yourself into a psychotic jerk, and the misogynistic predisposition you’ve had history validated from several anecdotes of other women shows your moral compass is already at the bottom of the cesspool. You’re trying to cultivate some kind of groupthink, but you yourself cannot realize you’re being ostracized from it with each violent demand.

And to think....this guy stated right in front of me that he trusts me. How can you trust me so much? Even if it’s justified by what you think of my work ethic, it doesn’t feel right to trust me so willingly unless you needed another buffer in case co-workers rebel against you. The next day of last week, the female co-worker, or manager I should say, didn’t quit. It’s as if nothing happened, and everyone was la-dee-fu**ing da! I know he got chewed out by his boss, so the only woman he can curb stomp now is the one that has nothing to do with this. And, other women are picking up quickly on this and telling her to cover her tail!

I’m a guy, and I’m just baffled on how someone that can make so much money that cannot foster some form of leadership that is blind to sex and gender. Oh wait, it’s because you were promoted so quickly with no experience other than the guerrilla tactics you call management skills. And, what makes me cringe more about him is that when he pushes for others to be urgent, yeah, we get it, we need to increase sales, productivity, etc. But when a woman critiques over something we know he definitely would not have tolerated, he shrugs it off like it doesn’t matter. Take ownership of the very same virtue you want us all to uphold? You don’t lose credibility if you made a mistake as all of us have a pretty rough experience given the traffic in downtown, and how people come with questionable behaviors at certain times. I’m SO glad I wasn’t promoted, but I also feel pity for what she had to go through.

She’s still trying, and it’s honestly because the second-in-command of the company talked her into doing it. But, this all confirms to what I said to the other manager that this GM of ours will end up as a fox pushed into a corner. It’s just a matter of time.

Rant #2:

Spoiler for “Rant 2":

I was talking with the manager that was belittled a few days before she was considering quitting about our tax refunds. She told me how much she would be getting, since she has children of course, and I joked around saying I probably need to start helping make babies myself. Then, out of nowhere, a co-worker said, “If you need some help with that, I can do that for you!”

Now, this job is one where we tend to throw sexual innuendos at each other, sexualize someone’s physicality, blah blah water cool chat...but, you gotta draw the line somewhere, man. Like, I’ve been feigning being blind by her comments, but she keeps pushing. She got a back rub from a co-worker from having some back pain, I guess, and he joked saying she has to pay somehow. She throws at him that she’ll pay with her p****, which was kind of funny and ambitious, but then she pauses, looks at me, and queries my name.


Like woah. I don’t think I could ever fathom myself saying that to a girl if the tables were turned. And I’m pretty sure if it was someone else, it could’ve led to false allegations (because logic gets thrown out the window), but I’ll stop right there. I just needed to get this out of my system. It’s like high-school here, and the sexual innuendos that sometimes goes too far that smells like the back of someone’s ear makes it awkward to work here at times. Guess people just need to find stuff to chat about when the job is generally easy to do as long as you can sustain the upkeep.

Rant 3:

Spoiler for “Rant”:

My girlfriend experienced the betrayal of her co-workers that she’s been with for a few years now. Her reaction, disgust, and disappointment of this betrayal have shattered her perception of the camaraderie they shared over the years. She’s going through the experience of those who can put on a facade, and are willing to jump ship and ostracize her while they gather the rest of their friends and escape the company they feel is dwindling down.

I can feel for her, but I already went through that experience; just create a work persona, and do your thing. Save yourself from exhausting emotions needlessly (of course, no one can escape being stressed out completely, obviously; if some can be mitigated and resolved, better than no push for mental upkeep).

I’m not going to try and console her as she kind of hints she wants to experience this betrayal and see how it pans out. I just said to her that this experience can shape her into being a more resilient person who can be more careful about how she expresses her kindness and warm-hearted personality. If she wants to talk about it, she’ll talk about it. She’s giving me signs, but she’s going to orchestrate that when she feels it’s alright.

Rave:

Tax refund came in a few days ago. That’s going to stay in my savings and might use some of it for a vacation. Unless my car starts tapping its feet asking for a handout.

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I'm still job hunting just in case and learned some things from positions I never thought I’d get a chance to experience. I just have to refine myself more and keep trying. I’m doing my best to juggle this and keep my chin up. But, I’d be lying if I didn’t have a constant struggle to do so in the first place.

Rave 2:

Intermittent fasting; I’m getting used to it. I’m doing the 16:8 protocol, and I think I can get into doing it indefinitely. It was awkward at first, but it made so much sense. Here’s to it helping destroy the yo-yo effect that comes with rapid weight loss, and for me to accept it’s a continual learning curve. The dietary supplement I take to curb the appetite makes it a lot easier.

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Had a dream where I was kidnapped and spat on. I knew I was dreaming, but I wanted to see how things were turning out. The guy in question looked like his mental fortitude was crippling away. I started to experience Stockholm Syndrome. Probably to the point where I didn't feel kidnapped. Maybe because it's within the confines of my mind, or, that's what I want to believe. I didn't get to see it through the end, or I probably forgot how it ended. I didn't know what I could learn from that virtual, experiential reality other than being so hard on myself that if someone was more aggressive, I'd feel pity on them for trying.

Rant: I slipped on the ice while playing broomball and I was going fast and hit a chunk of ice on the frozen pond, so now I have a tropical yellow bruise that makes it really painful to walk.

Originally Posted by Durza

Rant: I slipped on the ice while playing broomball and I was going fast and hit a chunk of ice on the frozen pond, so now I have a tropical yellow bruise that makes it really painful to walk.

Feel better! Be more careful.

Feel better soon, Durza

Link I would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable! That boss sounds like a real peace of work
Kid trumps job every time. Especially since they've been waiting so long!

Carrot, glad you've found a new friend

IC, I hope your ankle is feeling better.

Meh. That's my life in a nutshell right now I'm still disconnected from my on-line usual activities. I barely even check my email.
I've been spending more and more time in my bed. But....

Rant: My back is NOT happy about that The new back pillow isn't helping much. But...

Rave: I "passed out", the other night, with all my pillows on the bed- 2 back pillows, a butt pillow , the reclining pillow for my legs. When I woke, I was sprawled out over all of them Such cushiony soft wonderfulness But...

Meh... that may be one of the reasons my back is so angry with me. It NEEDS the firmness of the desk.

Other than that... my BP was so friggin insane, I had hubby give me some meds and he's going to write a script for me seeing how my Dr doesn't think I need it. 170/110 is too high to fool around with (though that was a one off. It's been running around 150/103 which is still too high, but not THAT high). Hubby made a good point, I never considered. My bio-dad and his mom both had brain aneurisms (sp). I take after him, so I NEED to keep my BP in check. Uncontrolled BP make brain aneurisms more possible.

Rant: On top of everything, I'm "trying" to get a bladder or kidney infection. Perhaps I'm trying to pass more "sand" (so far, I've never fully grown or passed actually stones that I'm aware of). Every time I pee, I get light-headed. It's only slightly uncomfortable... but my brain tends to pick up on pain long before my body does (as if that makes sense rofl). My backache could be related to that as well, I guess.

Blah... time to go hide in bed some more.

Good night, DV.

Thanks, Ic161 and Zhaylin...I guess i figured I better get my broomball in when I'm young and a nasty fall just means a bad bruise for a few days instead of a broken bone!
Hope your health improves Zhaylin....

Thanks, Durza
I got a fairly clean bill of health... though I'm 85% certain his techs don't know how to read a manual BP machine. They said my BP was 120/60. My BP hasn't been that low in over 20 years rofl (and I hadn't taken my BP meds the night before because I hadn't really gone to sleep yet).
All of my blood work came back fine, though he hesitated when he reached my white blood count and declared it "acceptable". It tends to stay on the low side of normal.
He did not, however, get back my D.
My urinalysis (then and there, unplanned) was given an improper pass as well. The stench was enough to kill a vulture. Even if it read "all clear", I should have been given a lecture on staying properly hydrated.

So... meh. He gets the job done, I guess, but leaves a lot to be desired. And I'm too stuck in my ways, lazy, and stingy with my money to find a different Dr. (His office is just 5 minutes down the road and because he knows my hubby, he doesn't request my co-pay and writes off some of my visit.)
He did write me a script for migraine pills instead of the injection he wanted me to try... and he wrote my acid reducing script as well

I asked him about my feet (finally ) and how my SKIN hurts and gets blotchy red after wearing the same clean socks for just a few hours and I pointed out that my big toenail stays a bluish shade. He wants to do a circulation test the next time I see him in a month.

So, all in all, I'm fine *whew*. I just HAVE to friggin make myself drink more. Why does that remain so difficult

Rave: I'm finally finding my niche at the personality forum. There's a "Type Me" thread where people submit collages and the reader has to guess their personality type or the inspiration behind the collage.
I've been flexing some analytical muscles and spent nearly 2 days making my own

Here's what I ended up with:
I loved that I stumbled onto a way to make my own image the background. But, I couldn't figure out how to rearrange the items which resulted in improper cropping.
So, I made a second one, but couldn't figure out the whole background thing
It was the first time I've ever made collages though- digitally or otherwise, so I was still fairly pleased with myself.

Collage.jpg

Humbug... it wont let me attach the other one...