Originally Posted by Zhaylin
Yuppie That sounds very rough, infuriating, confusing, and lonesome. I hope the two of you can have a really solid talk through things. Make sure she hears you.
When she's depressed and wants to hang out with her friends instead of you, it might be simply because she needs a distraction without having to worry about you worrying about her.
She should still make time for you, though.
If you can't come to some sort of agreement, I hope you can find the strength and willpower to let her go.
My rant is that I have to drive my hubby to the huge hospital (an hour+ away) in 2 1/2 hours. He thinks he's been having cardiac issues. He's almost 75 years old and he still works. He had to call in the office manager to cancel patients for Monday and Tuesday. He never calls off, yet this will be his second and third time within 2 months (out of 30+ years, NEVER having called off).
Hopefully, they won't find anything. Or if they do, I hope it's an easy fix.
Does your husband work out of necessity or because he enjoys it? What does he do for work?
I've spent a couple days at my parent's house to give my girlfriend some space. I hope when I return back home she's happy to see me and missed me, but I know it won't be the case unfortunately. One of the problems she tends to have is that she polarises me a lot. I seem to either be 'all good' or 'all bad' in her eyes. Her reason for wanting space initially was that she was simply feeling depressed and needed space. Recently, her reason morphed into it being my fault. She cited an argument we had recently, and claimed that she was still trying to recover from it. This was a very inane and uneventful argument. But apparently it's the basis for days spent ignoring me. She has a tendency to find arbitrary reasons to paint me in an overwhelmingly negative light and dissociate the connection we have with each other to coincide with her mood cycles. I've never claimed to be perfect of course, but I really try my best to be a good partner for her. The mistakes I make, are in my opinion, minimal and to be expected. I think fundamentally, the mistakes she makes I am readily prepared to let go once we've discussed them, and I no longer hold them against her. On the other hand, the errors that I make are blown out of proportion, and despite whether I am ostensibly forgiven, they're always ready to be brought back up as justification for her behaviour. I want the baseline of our relationship to be that we love and support each other, and focus in tandem on being happy together. I think that's a simple and desirable state of a relationship. Maybe naive or easier said than done, sure, but regardless, I want us to be able to turn towards each other in times of crisis, not away - at the very least. I know my perspective sounds self-centred, like I'm overlooking the burden of her depression and making it about me instead, but I don't exactly think so. I would be happy to love and support her unconditionally during her hardships, but in order to do so I need for her first to not blame me for her problems, and secondly, for her to want me to help her, rather than just push me out of her life. It's not behaviour that is tenable for me or that I can sustain.
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