Originally Posted by Linkzelda41
It's a Friday, I don't really have any friends in college because it's hard finding the right people with a University with 40k+ students. And I can't just go into a random fast food/bars that promote partying etc. and just pick up a few friends.
It's like I can't really relate to most people here, even though the University itself is pretty relaxed and quiet at times, people are respectful, but god I just know that if I end up making friends with women here, people are going to assume I'm dating them.
I just walk or ride my bicycle to classes at this University, just feeling like nothing, just ignoring everyone around me because it feels like I'm some kind of outcast or something, and it's not because of race, maybe they feel I'm out of their league or something, because some people I talk to, they're afraid to talk to me, or stutter.
Even the guys who care more about muscles are afraid of me for some odd reason, maybe it's the face I portray that is just neutral.
And god, if I end up dating a blonde female (it's mostly blondes and brunettes here), I just know there's going to be the invisible perversions from other people of "Black Guy with a White Girl."
....I feel like making some pancakes, but I feel like there's no point since it'll probably be tasteless.
Also, when I find someone isn't going to accept my views, I can't really do anything but just feel nothing because I remind myself that my life isn't going to be ruined if they managed to get people swayed into their mentality while mine is seemed to be one of an incompetent and uneducated teenager.
But the world will end eventually, we will all die, and all opinions and trivial debates will be eradicated, but I can't find myself to feel anything.
I should be concerned about my skewed perspective about most people, but I just can't really find any reason to rationalize it. So, good day to you all.
I can kinda relate. Try getting drunk?
I am half black- I could just barely pass as a white guy, because I do not sound black when I talk, or fit the typical black stereotype. Hell, I like country music. I feel far more comfortable in a room full of white people that black people. That's kind weird I guess. It only pisses me off because I don't have some default group to identify with, which makes it harder for me to find friends.
My problem is, although I'm half black, half white, I only seem to be attracted to white girls. I don't know why, I'm not racist or anything.
I'm also pissed off because there have been several girls over the last couple of years (in school) that have pretty much shown obvious interest in me. Most of them I liked too. Last year I played "she can't tell" for a freaking whole semester. I even had a friend ask me what the heck was wrong with me for not saying anything. I don't know. I just walk around in a lull. I wouldn't call it shyness. If it is shyness it is chronic shyness. When these girls talk to me all animated and fun sounding I just can't return the favor in my replies. If I try, I sound like I'm faking it, which I am. In short, even though I am in front of a girl I literally dream about, I still don't feel a damn thing. I badly want love, but I will never get it acting like this.
Damn it I need to stop panic...
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