odd panics from long things

I dont know... i somethings wrong with me. When somethings too long to calculate or goes really fast then i get these wierd feelings that relate to an overpanicky one I had many months ago... here goes

I woke up at like 3 or something in a panicky state (dont remember the date... probably april... or so it feels based on my "regions" technique, works the same way one triangulates a cell phone position) and remember thinking that if infinity would be substituded as a variable in a linear equation (stupid math stuff gettin to my head) then something about... i will try hard to explain this feeling in words... like total chaos and the whole graph would be filled... but its an equals sign so thats impossible... but then again its infinity so i dont know. Im not in what my level of math should be in school. fucking "system". so I go into panic attacks and after about 2 minutes it fades and i realize im crazy and i go back to sleep. I do not remember any dreams from that night and god only knows if they were lucid. I do remember staying up late to do math homework(ugh) or else i was grounded for life so i probably drained all my power that night.

Little short bursts or 'flashbacks" of this odd feeling keep coming back to me randomly. One severe one was when I read this online:

The longest place-name still in use is
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapiki maungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.

it scared me how people would use that in everyday lives and how disruptive it would be. its complication just totally overwhelmed me. Other things like this happen when long or fast things are mentioned such as my friend was explaining his (faulty) design for traveling at the speed of light. It just was like omg aaaaaaaaah thats just too fast and i got all scared.

Anybody know
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I don't know dude, but I asked my mom who's a shrink. She talked about phobias and how they trigger panic attacks. I don't know how contemplating infinite equations or long inpronouncable words could be a phobia, but a phobia by definition is an irrational fear.

So anyway, you might want to scrutinize as to why things chaotic cause you anxiety. Perhaps a feeling of loss of control? I dunno, something to think about anyway. But I don't think anything's "wrong" with you persay. I remember my exboyfriend in high school would mildly freak out when he saw blue topaz stones. But it had something to do with something bad that happened to him in a jewelery store once, where the whole store was that color and had a bunch of those stones.

ps. My mom's final thought was: You're walking a fine line between genius and madness so you better pick. Sick sense of humor she gots eh? :P

Yeah I think its a loss of control... being that that is the most desired thing in humans maybe having too much non-control is just overwhelming. About anxiety... yeah i was just diagnosed with severe anxiety a few weeks ago, along with mild depression (probably a miscalc they dont ask you whats 'good' in your life only 'bad') and you guessed it, severe ADHD.

This happened long after the hallucination in the night and I have never mentioned it to anybody since. It only comes up with me every time these panics occur.

God I hope im not chronically crazy