Invited to join Paranomal Investigation Team, not sure if I really want to.
At first I thought, "that sounds cool" then one of them showed me some EVPs and it was the most boring game of pretending to be polite ever. I'd hear crackling and she'd be like "Did you hear that? He said hello!"
No, bitch, I didn't fucking hear it.
I realized then that the entire job would involve sitting in a room, trying to hear voices and catch oddities in silence, all fucking night. And then they might ask me to go through the EVPs and write down shit that the ghosts said, and I'm going to be like "It said fuck balls, that's what it fucking said. Let me replay it. Yep, definitely fuck balls."
They won't even let me play with a fucking Ouija board. And she said they wanted someone a bit more skeptical to join the team, so I was thinking I could be like Bill Murray from Ghostbusters, but then when she was playing the EVPs she told me not to joke about it. The fuck else am I supposed to do? Ghostbusters would have never happened in real life, you can't mix such extremes in skepticism. People just get pissed at each other.