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    Thread: Invited to join Paranomal Investigation Team, not sure if I really want to.

    1. #1
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      Invited to join Paranomal Investigation Team, not sure if I really want to.

      At first I thought, "that sounds cool" then one of them showed me some EVPs and it was the most boring game of pretending to be polite ever. I'd hear crackling and she'd be like "Did you hear that? He said hello!"

      No, bitch, I didn't fucking hear it.

      I realized then that the entire job would involve sitting in a room, trying to hear voices and catch oddities in silence, all fucking night. And then they might ask me to go through the EVPs and write down shit that the ghosts said, and I'm going to be like "It said fuck balls, that's what it fucking said. Let me replay it. Yep, definitely fuck balls."

      They won't even let me play with a fucking Ouija board. And she said they wanted someone a bit more skeptical to join the team, so I was thinking I could be like Bill Murray from Ghostbusters, but then when she was playing the EVPs she told me not to joke about it. The fuck else am I supposed to do? Ghostbusters would have never happened in real life, you can't mix such extremes in skepticism. People just get pissed at each other.
      Last edited by Original Poster; 08-02-2012 at 09:39 PM.
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    2. #2
      Xei
      UnitedKingdom Xei is offline
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      I don't get what exactly you would be doing but I've seen a couple of shows about 'paranormal investigation' and I always get extremely angry because they're basically just con artists scaring innocent but gullible people with well known psychological tricks like confirmation bias.

    3. #3
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      If they're looking for a name, I suggest the "SOS Brigade".

      Seriously though, if this isn't a joke, I'd say don't join them. As Xei said, they sound like your classic con artists. Though it may be funny to see them sit around and act like idiots at first, I think it would eventually become too irritating to put up with.

    4. #4
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      The EVPs I listened to took place in the female member's house because she claimed its haunted. I haven't met the other two guys but I can assure you she is no con-artist. She believes in ghosts and claims she can see them. Based on what I heard from the other two in the EVP, they're pretty serious about it, too. I'd be the only con-artist in the group, now that I think about it. Unless I'm allowed to be sarcastic about the whole thing.

      But I wouldn't even be a con artist either because they'd be using me for my skeptical approach to paranormal activity. I could easily con the fuck out of people, but in each case my job would be to debunk their evidence, not substantiate it.
      Last edited by Original Poster; 08-03-2012 at 09:34 PM.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    5. #5
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      Screw them and start your own Paranormal Investigation business.

      Get a helmet cam, connect it to the internet, get a livestream going, and then investigate some abandoned asylums and creepy places. You'd make millions.
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    6. #6
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      Join, and then convince them that you're a ghost.
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      Hahaha I like the last suggestion. You could ask them for money or if you are actually good at conning just do it yourself. But seriously don't join them if they don't pay you

    8. #8
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      Just call me the OP formerly OD and soon to be OG
      Omnis Dei, Original Poster, Omniscient Ghost.

      Case closed.
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    9. #9
      Sleeping Dragon juroara's Avatar
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      but then how will you ever hang out with zak?

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      I LOLED at Xei. Maybe that stuff you see on television shows; everything on TV is fake nowadays.

      If they hear things for themselves maybe their just hearing things that don't exist. Or maybe someone really did find a "ghost". Either way; it's highly unlikely the majority of these paranormal societies are doing it to con people.

      But yes; television loves fake.
      This was that cult, and the prisoners said it had always existed and always would exist, hidden in distant wastes and dark places all over the world until the time when the great priest Cthulhu, from his dark house in the mighty city of R'lyeh under the waters, should rise and bring the earth again beneath his sway.

    11. #11
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      These guys show me the recordings and get all fucking excited like "See? He said hello!"

      And no, I don't hear hello, I hear recording software breaking up, but I have no doubt they're true believers.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    12. #12
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      Gaaaaay

    13. #13
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      If you don't get along with them, don't join them.
      Abraxas

      Quote Originally Posted by OldSparta
      I murdered someone, there was bloody everywhere. On the walls, on my hands. The air smelled metallic, like iron. My mouth... tasted metallic, like iron. The floor was metallic, probably iron

    14. #14
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      My family loves watching shows like Ghost Adventures.

      My son believes a little bit.
      My daughter believes a little bit...but she's 8.
      I have a friend who likes to watch because of the places they go. Some are neat locations but I doubt she believes.

      I usually sit on DreamViews when the show is on.

      Here's how I see it...

      If you don't have to pay any money or make any serious investment then you can always go along for the ride and see the places. Some of the locations listed as haunted have a great history and are worth seeing even if you dislike your traveling companions and their crazy beliefs. They can also be fun at night.

      If you do go you can always leave...or make fun of them...or just watch them and see if you do experience something.

      At least it might get you out of the house. That has to be a good thing.

      Hell, you could even film them and make your own documentary...get the footage and then narrate over it later and talk about how every time they saw a ghost or heard a spook you saw bunk and heard a squirrel and the one guy with the funny haircut sure seems to put his fingers in his mouth more than is healthy. Shit like that.

    15. #15
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      They seem like nice people, I just don't think I could bottle in all the sarcastic comments I'd like to make. And I think I'd get bored sitting in a "haunted" building pretending to be listening to ghosts. I think to be able to stand that sort of mind-numbing work, I'd have to believe at least 50% more than I do. Maybe if they were doing an extra creepy house I'd be down. Maybe it was just because they were sharing the recordings from the woman's apartment which is not fucking haunted at all.

      I remember watching that special on Chillingham Castle in England and getting scared shitless when I was a kid. I could imagine enjoying a trek there, that place seems damned creepy and if anywhere on the planet is haunted it's that place. Granted I've been to Alcatraz 3 times and I think I'd have to be completely alone in a building like that to even feel a hint of excitement.
      Last edited by Original Poster; 08-16-2012 at 07:52 AM.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    16. #16
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      So I got invited to their facebook page, and they sent out a message saying they were going to investigate the local university's theatre on halloween night--the first team to investigate this theatre in 10 years--but the fucker isn't fucking haunted. It's not even condemned, they do open mic there every wednesday. They do conferences there. It's well lit. Janitors even clean the occasional spiderweb that pops up. There is nothing creepy about the place. If this is their big halloween investigation I shudder to think what stupid shit they do the rest of the time.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    17. #17
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      They would probably be happy to have a skeptic who ends up believing in the end due to some undeniable proof. But if you aren't going to get any, the skeptical approach will probably just annoy them after a while. Especially if there's some recording they all agree is a ghost saying something but you don't agree. I wouldn't lie to them, but would try not to shove it in their faces, maybe be a bit quiet when they get excited about something but honest if they ask for your opinion.

      Is this a job that you'll get paid for? If it is I'd definitely do it, and even if it isn't it might prove to be an interesting experience, if only in observing people.

    18. #18
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      EVP never sound like what think they sound like. The entire concept is taking humans natural skill at putting things into patterns, even when no real pattern exists, then trying to find random patterns in static. That is why EVP's only work when you crank up the volume until you got static. If you get a really sensitive recorder, that doesn't pick up static, it doesn't work. Yet if you get a cheap piece of junk recorder that can't record someone from two feet away, if it picks up a ton of static you will get EVP.
      melanieb and Original Poster like this.

    19. #19
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      The fact that the human mind is built to perceive patterns is the main reason I'm so skeptical of EVP. If I have to filter what I hear in order to make sense of it, then I'm not going to think there's any truth to it.

      What gets me is my friend's accusation of "denial." It really bugs me because I don't deny anything. I just doubt everything. You're also in denial of the possibility that you're wrong when you refuse to listen to contrary opinions. Someone who doesn't decide to believe something because they receive some evidence isn't in denial of anything. They're simply with-holding judgment. You are allowed to neither accept nor reject when neither option appears necessary.
      Kaomea likes this.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


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