Love, Life, and the pursuit of.....something?

So this post is a cry for help I suppose, or perhaps a rant I've been saving for months but didn't know how or where to express it. Hopefully your opinions will help make me less alone and confused.

My situation right now, is that I'm 19, living with my mom, and working in a restaurant with no social life. And I must say, my life is pretty dull. I'm at a crossroads right now and my options are infinite. I really don't know what steps to take to help me live a meaningful and passionate life. Living in a society that revolves around money is very limiting to the creative and intellectual mind. So what's a guy to do?

I am not won over easily with material goods. I do not buy things. Extreme happiness and contentment to me comes from being outside of a city, not from inside shopping malls and bars. I have a love for love, beauty, passion, and truth. Contrary to the popular craze, I am not on a quest for money. Rather, I am on a quest for meaning, reason, and truth.

Working and consuming distracts me from thinking clearly about the real questions in life, the questions that really matter when I'm lying on your deathbed. I want to experience everything there is to experience before I die but I fear I cannot do this slaving away for the almighty dollar.

Am I brainwashed to think that if I don't have lots of money I will amount to nothing? That is certainly how it feels. Has this society subliminally imprinted it's ideals into my mind? Can I live without the pressures of money? Do any of you live without the concerns of money? If so, how?

I could go on forever, but I'm not that cruel, if you want a novel about what's inside this bottle pm me. I suppose this post is aimed at my elders among this board who have more experience than me and can give me some advice, but also it's to the people who are in the same boat as me, that can share their situation as well.

Thanks to those who reply ;)

Hi, I'm in a similar sort of situation, and share a lot of your ideals. I don't really have any answers, but at least you know theres a kindred spirit here. I'm 22, have been working full time for a bit over a year and am finding that it truly is sapping the life out of me. It's difficult not to be pessimistic, depressed, uninspired and lonely when the vast majority of your waking life is spent doing something you don't want to be doing. It's essentially a waste of time, and a waste of life as far as I'm concerned. I wish every moment of the day that I could break free from the rigidity of society, but presently I can't see a way to do it (bar running off and joining some hippie commune, which doesn't interest me). I've often thought about packing it all in, applying for the dole and living a simple life leaching off the government - morally it doesn't bother me, socially it doesn't either, I don't measure status in such a way. Something like that would allow me to focus fully on my artistic pursuits, it would be a simple life, but it would be a full life. I'm not recommending that you do this, but it's an option I guess. My advice is not to lose your ideals, stick with the boring life for a bit, something interesting might come your way eventually - when you have something good to focus on you won't feel like you're wasting time.

My advice: So long as you harm none, do whatever it is that makes you smile.

I’m a writer and artist in a similar situation to yours. At least, I was. In my case (and it took me 27 years to figure this out), I am truly happy when I’m creating. Crap jobs that barely serve to make ends meat were only impeding the creative growth that I craved. No, not craved, needed to truly be alive. Every day I woke up and got ready for work, I felt like a small part of me died. Why was I doing this? I could barely keep an apartment with two jobs and I had no time for myself. What’s the purpose of that? On their deathbeds, no one says “Gee, I wish I had worked more hours.”

Then something happened. My brother is in the United States army and he offered his home to me. He told me that I wouldn’t have to work a ‘normal’ job. He said he'd support me so that I could concentrate solely on my art and writing. I jumped at that opportunity. Not only would I get to live with my brother, but I could put all my energy into something I loved. Who wouldn’t jump at that?

Two years and many paintings later, I’m flying to Europe to be with someone I love very much. He is also helping me to recognize a dream. He’s my partner in a new project that is very close to my heart. Because of him, I now have the opportunity to see things I never thought I’d see, and learn things I never thought I’d have access to.

I’m sorry… I know what this must sound like to you. I didn’t write all of this to be like, “ha ha, I got lucky.” Yes, I am very lucky. I never, ever for a moment in my life thought that all of this would be possible, much less actually happen! So my point is that anything can happen. Anything is possible. You can get out of that rut of job-home-job-home-woo!dayoff!-job-home. It may take some hardship to do, but happiness is very possible. I mean, who wants to live a life of misery and stress?

By the way, if you ever want to talk, or just vent, please feel free to PM me. ^_^

I'm not really at the age where I have to worry about paying bills or keeping a job (15 actually), but still, I do often think about what position I might be in in the next 5-10 years... Seeing my parents as being the stereotypical "all work no play" parents, I've kind of always resented that kind of lifestyle, and I'd rather avoid being like that...

Thanks for the reassurance that you can have more to life than that as well as the truth I'm not really alone with those fears, and a lost soul, thanks for showing me proof that you can have more than just a two-bit "job-home-job-home-woo!dayoff!-job-home" existence...

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Originally posted by A Lost Soul
On their deathbeds, no one says “Gee, I wish I had worked more hours.”

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Well, maybe Steve Balmer... :P

Feels nice to know that there're others out there. I talked to my boss today about growing up and life in general. He's about 45 I think and he had some very good advice for me based on all his experiences. I'm constantly reaching out for advice from others around me and the perspectives vary from person to person, but they are really helping me solidify some wandering thoughts I have and also helping me be less afraid of the future and "becoming an adult".

My boss says that there are sacrifices a person must make in order to get what they want. Made me think that there's not really and easy way going about everything and eventually things will start to make sense and dreams will become fulfilled.

Quote:

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My advice is not to lose your ideals, stick with the boring life for a bit, something interesting might come your way eventually - when you have something good to focus on you won't feel like you're wasting time.[/b]

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I need to follow this better because I hear it too often now. Lost soul, I'm so happy for you, your life seems amazing and it sends me hope that there are better ways to live. I need to stop looking down at my feet and grab the oppurtunities that are thrown at me. Being passive isn't getting me anywhere. I've missed so many oppurtunites because I have either been scared or lazy. Oppurtunities are unknown paths but even the darkest path will turn into a meadow.

Bah, ok. One thing I learned today, is that I learn everyday, and that I have to open my eyes and stop looking down at my feet. :)

Hi..

I think i have a similar situation.
I'm 21, just graduated from university and have now moved back home with my folks for summer. The problem is, is that after 5 years of doing graphic design.. i've lost complete interest in it. I hate it. I don't want to go into a career at all nor do I feel ready for one, but im pressured by my father who's life is purely about money.. he's always on my back about what i should be doing with my life, how i should be trying to make money all the time, and anything that i am doing is not right or good enough..

So for example, I feel guilty when i am doing anything but that. So like, if im just chilling out, working on my music, reading a magazine, sat at my computer or doing anything that i like doing.. whatever... he makes me feel like i shouldn't be doing any of that i should be getting outside being 'pro-active' (his favourite word) and earning millions..

So anyway, basically what i'm saying is that I've learnt something about myself and my father this past month from being at home.. that, life doesn't have to be about money, its about doing whatever makes you happy. So I mean, if tomorrow im suddenly 40 years old or whatever, i'm happily married with some great kids and am enjoying life then that's all that matters right? I don't want to be sucked in to just making money for the rest of my life. I want to be happy and i want to make others around me happy. I think thats more important than money.

I look at my dad and i think, yeah he's been pretty successfull but because his life has been about nothing but that... he's suddenly 60 years old and is unhappy.

I don't want to end up like that.

Holy crap Marc you sound just like me. :(

I just graduated with a degree in design also (5 year program) and I am completely burnt out. I have to finish this last internship (over sept. 16) in order to graduate which really sucks because designing stuff is the last thing I want to be doing right now. :cry:

My dad has also spent his whole life working like a dog on this business that brings him no joy (which would be my ultimate hell) but he finds pleasure still in the little things, knowing that he must work this god awful job to provide a good life for his family he has made so many sacrifices. He loves to paint, and do fun things with my mom...right now they are off on some camping trip. Anyway, both my parents have given so much for me and put so much into my education so that I will be really successful that I owe it to them and I cannot let them down. It's alot of pressure because I just want to do whatever the hell I want that makes me happy but I also have to make them proud.

After this quarter is over I will be completely free and I will probably either move to Chicago and live with my sister or we will both move to Los Angeles (depending on how much money I can save up). Who knows what I'l be doing. It's a little scary not knowing. And I know my dad is worried about us...that we'll just get swept up in the whole scene and never come back home or something. I wish I could see the future because right now I feel like everything is so uncertain that it scares the hell out of me. My sister and I have talked about maybe starting our own business or something. Who knows. But whatever I do I will have to be happy. And I know that working 9-5 everyday in some goddamn office of corporate America will never make me happy and I just cannot bring myself to do it. I know that can't be my future. Ugh...so much to say...I'll stop for now.

Aww, Nina. I may be a bit bold in saying this, but I think if you do something that makes you happy, your parents will be proud of you. Well, so long as it isn't, like, serial killing or something. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be proud of that. O_o

Everyone, thank you for the kind words. I'm glad what I said can give someone hope. :) It may not be the easiest or most successful road, and not every risk will be worth it, but I think happiness should always outweigh money.

With all my heart, I wish every one of you the best. And for what it's worth, I pray for your happinesses. ^_^ ('happinesses' -- I think I just made a new word!)