I agree, I think the rigid gender conformity we place on men is related to homophobia. There's a stigma against homosexuality to the point where it's easier to accept someone else as gay than accept a droplet of bisexuality within yourself. Because you can always marginalize others, but you can't marginalize yourself.
Attraction is a very complex thing, there are multiple scales to consider regarding the desire to be intimate with others. It's probably more common than not that one of these scales tips ever so slightly off its edge. But if it's not tipped off its edge close enough to the middle that you find yourself crushing on a dude, then what's the point in admitting it? Girls admit to it all the time, and find themselves free to explore exactly where they reside on each spectrum of attraction. Men have no such luck, step into the gray area at all and you're instantly marginalized by others, or at least you perceive that you will be.
I'm not even talking physical connections, either. As an introvert, I form intimate bonds with both genders. I form "bromances" which is to say deep rapport and kinship with other men on a one and one basis. I have no interest in anything physical, not foster any romantic desire, but when I form this kinship with a gay or bi dude they feel like I'm "friendzoning" them. And something equally as creepy, girls have thought I was gay,secretly trying to steal their boyfriend, because I built rapport with him and not with her. I don't get along with everyone, a lot of people rub me the wrong way. I'm cordial with people but I'm selective and committed to my real friends, and this is threatening for some reason. I have "bromances" with females, too. And yeah, if they're single I'll probably try to kiss them eventually. But if they're not single, their boyfriends don't usually feel threatened by my presence even though the sexual orientation actually lines up for it. Ugh, I'm rambling, but yeah, the thoughts that go through the minds of insecure women...
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