A girl who appeared to be 13 years old was flirting with me when I was 26...?

[Yuusha]

This happened to me two years ago when I was at an airport in Greece, when I was on my way back home to Sweden. I was sitting opposite to a girl some distance away (she took the same plane as me, by the way), and we were giving each other quick glances a few times - and then all of a sudden she looked at me with expressive eyes and raised her eyebrows at me a couple times, then she kept giving me glances for a long time after that and seemed to try to stay close to me, so she was clearly wanting me to approach her. However, even though she was.definitely cute, she did look very young - I would guess about 13 or 14, and certainly not older than 15. I felt pretty uncomfortable about this, since I was 26 at the time. I ended up not doing anything about this, and she started looking confused and mildly disappointed after a while, but how was I supposed to handle this? I don't consider myself "old" or anything, but it felt wrong to be flirting with a girl who most likely was barely out of junior high school when I was 26 myself.

[OneUp]

That's a huge gap bro, 10 years. I think it was best to play it safe and stay away. Seemed like jail bait to me.

[DawnEye11]

Its possible she could have been thirteen and liked you. Another possibility is she could have been eighteen or older and liked you. Not everyone looks their age so its not right to say she wasn't older than that. There are people out there who are 30 and look like their way younger than that. But I agree that its better to not approach people in that situation. Its weird to me.

[AURON]

Yup...Like DawnEye11 said...she could have been older. I know this 22 year old who looks like she's 12. Was she with anyone? Most kids don't go to the airport alone. Either way, there's nothing wrong with asking someone how old they are.

[Yuusha]

She was with a couple other girls, probably her friends. And well, it is of course possible that she was older, although she looked a lot like 13-14 to me. I actually had a situation with a girl about a little more than a decade ago who probably gave me problems trusting girls who act like this. We would always have these fights and we deliberately tried to provoke each other in different ways, and then all of a sudden she sent one of her friends to tell me that she was interested in me, and I was like "wtf?", because it was so unexpected. And when I couldn't give a clear answer she started writing notes like "why don't you respond?", and I was like "I'm not sure what to say", and she seemed to take it very personally and got mad and tried to convince me that "it was just a joke, dammit!" and started avoiding me and seeming generally furious at me. And although I am on good terms with her nowadays, since we have both grown up etc, I feel like she still gave me some difficulties trusting girls who make approaches, because I always feel that there is a risk that it will "just be a joke". I felt something like that as well for this recent girl, it was both that and her very young appearance at the same time. Anyway, I guess I could start talking to a girl like this if something similar happens again, and see what her real age is like and if she is mature enough.

[Rodrodrod]

I probably wouldn't have approached either, but then again, I am not so good at approaching...I know just what my dad would say to me in a situation like this though. "The little ones grow" =P

[Yuusha]

I probably wouldn't have approached either, but then again, I am not so good at approaching...I know just what my dad would say to me in a situation like this though. "The little ones grow" =P Haha, yeah that's true. I don't really think there is anything wrong about finding someone who is physically developed to be attractive even though the person is very young, it's natural to feel that way after all on an instinctual level - but it still feels wrong on some level to flirt with someone who probably had not even reached the age of consent (of course she could have been much older, but she did look a lot almost like a child who had just barely reached her teens).

[Rodrodrod]

Haha, yeah that's true. I don't really think there is anything wrong about finding someone who is physically developed to be attractive even though the person is very young, it's natural to feel that way after all on an instinctual level - but it still feels wrong on some level to flirt with someone who probably had not even reached the age of consent (of course she could have been much older, but she did look a lot almost like a child who had just barely reached her teens). Yeah, I agree. There really is a weird feeling when something like this happens. Can't say I totally relate, but when I was just on the border of leaving school to university and I was already of age, I knew some girls who were maybe 3 years younger than me whom I felt attracted to, yet it felt wrong as you say it, to flirt with them. So I think that was probably the right response on your part. Also, considering how many times it happens that we may flirt with strangers on our day to day and do nothing about it.

[MrPriority]

Ugh, I feel for you man. I'm always so bad at guessing ages of women, like really terrible. I've also avoided some girls, unsure of how old they are. Asking someone's age can never hurt like AURON said. Though I can imagine that being pretty hard to do when you suspect she is like 13. I think you did the right thing this time! But it's a tough spot for sure.

[Rozollo]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone's age. If she was 13, she is too young to make rational decisions (at least in a legal sense), so you are expected to be the one to remove yourself should her advances got anything more than the innocent eye contact it sounds like.

[Yuusha]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone's age. If she was 13, she is too young to make rational decisions (at least in a legal sense), so you are expected to be the one to remove yourself should her advances got anything more than the innocent eye contact it sounds like. Yeah, I decided to simply ignore her apparent signs of interest, but it was a tough decision, because I felt that I would probably like her a lot if she actually was an alright age. But I decided to just let it be, since it felt like a pretty inconvenient situation to start flirting with someone anyway, and I really don't like flirting in front of an "audience" (my own family and her friends). And I am honestly really unused to actively flirting with someone, I usually just act generally nice and charming to a girl I talk to and then let her decide if she wants to contact me.

[Sospiro]

wow, I'm surprised at the perspectives here. I feel like if this was posted anywhere else and there would be nothing but slander and name calling. Good job DV. But I've been in this situation before, and I personally just don't even find it legally worth it regardless of what age she "might" be. I would get so paranoid that Chris Hansen would be around or the surrounding people would hear me ask her age and then the group mob would automatically get disgusted and have my head.