What do you do to strangers

[Threeofeight]

Do you stare strangers down. Do you say Hi everytime you see someone. Do you ignore people. Do you get nervous? I for one lose my cool whenever I see someone from miles away. People are scared shitless of me sometimes. I walked behind a woman walking her dog and she literally sped up and dragged her dog with her. Was this you? If I can avoid walking in close proximity to another person I will do it. But basically I do not want to get to know you and I do not want another person to get to know me. Am I a psycopath? Anyway, I will either look at you and look at ur face. Most people will look frightened in some way or emotionally stressed. Another person will say Hi and I will say Hi back. If you where to look at me you would probably see a frown on myself from the emotional distress I experience. Maybe a slight watering in the eyes too. And a hint of shame that is if I don't look away and stare in the distance.

[snoop]

You sound more introverted than like a psychopath. Usually I say hi, but everyone where I'm from typically says hi when you walk past. I've lived in some places where they don't but I still would anyway. I normally don't want anything to do with people, and other than simply saying "hi", I avoid making contact with them. Saying hi more or less allows me to do this better, because I feel like after I've acknowledged their presence there's no real reason to speak or acknowledge each other any more unless you get in their way and a simple "excuse me" suffices. That and you appear more normal, so it also feels like they're less likely to have their attention drawn to you for some strange reason.

[JadeGreen]

Yeah. Ever since I've started running, I've been out on the trails around my town a lot more. I've gotten used to bumping into people, at least in that context. It doesn't bother me too much that they see me out running since there are lots of people that jog in my town. Usually they're friendly and just say 'hi'; it's all they have time for since I'll be past them by the time I respond. I'm pretty introverted. I cannot stand small talk, especially when it has to do with what's going on at my college. I sometimes feel like everyone else is the rude one when older folks walk up to me at parties ask me "How's college going?" then go off and talk to someone else before I can offer up more than a sentence or two in response. In some sense I can see where they're coming from. They need to say SOMETHING to me but they don't want to spend the rest of the afternoon talking to just me. But it's extremely frustrating to me since my requirements for good conversation be that the conversation is deep and explores a complex idea or involves some kind of interesting thought-experiment, or that at least the discussion be in some way funny. I suppose the question also gets annoying because there's more to my life than college, and chances are the other aspects of my life are a lot more interesting than what I would have to say about my college classes. Ask me about current events in science and space travel; I'll talk your ear off. Ask me about my Taekwondo classes. They're a heck of a lot more interesting than my college classes. Ask me about art and design, or computer programming. Ask me about lucid dreaming; or even just dreaming in general. I have way more interesting things about them. It's not that I'm uncomfortable around people. It's just I can't stand the pointless small talk. Advice for you, the OP. It sounds like you're pretty uncomfortable around strangers. Did you have an experience (or a set of experiences) that led you to be distrustful of strangers? Are you suffering from low self-esteem? Or some combination of those things? My advice to you would be to talk with a family member or close friend that you trust about how you feel about these kinds of things.

[Threeofeight]

It's something that's been lingering for a while. I first started noticing when I moved into a new home and started hanging out with my roommates and after tugging a joint started feeling anxious and not knowing what's going on. Since then everytime I smoke a joint I get into this headspace. One time I was at a friend's party and just sitting at the end of the evening, started smoking sisha and suddenly zoomed into the friends of my friend (who I don't know) making jokes while my friends joined in. And I could not understand what they are laughing about nothing comes through. And got so anxious I had to leave all paranoid. As soon as I am outside finding my way back I started feeling energetic and actually just fabulous and even thought about going back. These kind of experience build up and really traumatized me to be around people anymore. But in my youthe i've always been unaware about what's going on around me. And never really got with the program. I was there, but I wasn't really there. You know. And I thought it was okay. I was just glad to be there. With the cool kids.

[Threeofeight]

See the thing is, I can't find anything that I can take a hold of to show around to strangers and say 'look, this is me' . It is always an uncertain aspect if there is even a 'me' and what I will 'be' when around strangers is always a suprise. Is this normal? Do you experience life differently

[mobwicket]

I'm the type to ignore lol. Unless that person talks to me first, I normally just ignore them.

[Threeofeight]

I have to make some expression to let people know I do not want to talk to them. Either blatantly look away or dance with my face a little bit. I just think it's weird to force a Hi when there's no intention to make any small talk. Yesterday I was mad and took a walk and felt furious while some woman on her bike ride behind me. Turns around and says in an obnoxious tone: Hello!! .. obviously she did not like my hoodie and bend face. I faked the nicest hello I could utter which was nervously obviously fake. And I thought it was a really obnoxious selfish uncompassionate Hello. Later that day I was on the phone and purposely avoided looking at a group of people with their children and actually did not notice them when a woman did the same hello. Upon which I thought WTF and turned around and mustered a Hi before walking away puzzled at what just happened. I mean why can't we just enjoy a little quietude. do we really have to force a hi to each other. Especially considering our emotional states aren't always compatible

[Threeofeight]

I get so much shit from strangers who either don't know or barely know me at all. Just for being introverted at times. I mean I've got lingering effects from drug induced psychosis. Am paranoid, dealing with significant social anxiety. Two are interrelated. Tried to kill myself. Spend more than a year in jail was picked up straight in my depression state and brought to jail. No certainty of future whatsoever. No friend visitation. No freedom to make my own choices. Only support from my parents who at times do not understand me and no friends to talk to. I could go on.. Find it hard to connect to people when this is my luggage. Or make casual small talk with strangers. I shuld have really posted this whole thread in Rant,rave,cry and complain. I wanted to make a post there for years.

[Saizaphod]

"Hi" "Hi". That's pretty much it. But it's always a happy Hi. Maybe a slight watering in the eyes too. Thank god. I thought I was the only one. I get this a lot when walking towards a group of people who are about my age. I don't know why.

[Threeofeight]

Very relateable. do you feel yourself tense up a little bit when walking towards a grou pof people like that?

[Saizaphod]

Very relateable. do you feel yourself tense up a little bit when walking towards a grou pof people like that? Noo not really. It's just the watering of the eyes. It's odd.

[Threeofeight]

Do you think it's related to ur emotions at all? I think that's what mine is.

[Saizaphod]

Do you think it's related to ur emotions at all? I think that's what mine is. I really can't tell. In my case I used to be quite shy and never hanged around too many people at once. Maybe for me it's some kind of a defensive subconscious thing that stayed. To make me look more vulnerable so they wouldn't "attack" or judge me or something.

[Threeofeight]

so you feel as though groups of people remind you of a loss you experience for urself as to being around groups of people. I am especially vulnerable for girls my age and have at times felt emotional for not being in close relationship with a girl my age. I mean felt a sense loss when in close proximity to a girl.

[LighrkVader]

I feel like I have a right to look at people who pass by. And if our eyes meet and they hold eye contact I might just smile or something. But I don't make a point of not looking away either. If I feel like breaking eye contact as soon as our eyes meet I'll do that. All in all I just do what I do and don't think much about it. People don't think so much about me anyway. Somewhat related is that I have been practicing my ninja abilities for a very long time. So I can walk without making any sound what so ever. I love walking up behind someone and then passing them without warning. Sometimes they'll do a hillarious little jump of surprise when I pop into their peripheral vision and we'll share a smile and maybe a laugh before I stab them.

[Threeofeight]

This day I looked angry despire being not angry just very determined and I'm a very serious person in my heart. I don't smile persay at people. I just also feel the right to watch their eyes. I think I saw a woman today expressing some signs of distress due to my appearance (Hoodie, long hair, angry face) .. I also am a Ninja trainee. What dojo do you go to. I do not laugh when I walk up to someone. I just stab them 15 times before disposing the body professionally.

[snoop]

Very relateable. do you feel yourself tense up a little bit when walking towards a grou pof people like that? I was like that in high school. After I got hit in the head with a discus and suffered a concussion in 8th grade I went through tremendous emotional turmoil... severe depression, ridiculous amounts of aggression, rage, and hatred. On top of that, I became a total recluse and had intense social anxiety. I had to teach myself and go through many experiences to get over it, and I really only have finally gotten to a state where I feel pretty good just now. I was in 8th grade in 2006 or so, so it's been 10 or 11 years. Not exactly a quick process, but my life has improved immeasurably. Hopefully the fact I've gotten better can give you a little hope that you can get better too. Unfortunately there wasn't any kind of solution that had to really do with medication or anything necessarily. It was basically all exposure to certain situations and personal effort and a desire to reform my behavior, thought patterns, and attitude. It took a long time to get to the point that I wasn't looking for an external solution, probably within the last 3 years is when I looked more internally.

[Threeofeight]

We're getting deeper There's something about reclusion that makes you socially anxious. I am in a state of ridiculous social anxiety. I find it very difficult to talk about with people because obviously it is hard to relate to for persons who do not experience social anxiety. Exposure in my case is a double-edged sword. Since I got locked up I am surrounded by people with agressive tendencies, bullying and self-absorbtion. And I find it difficult to uphold a conversation since I experience difficulty connecting. I just don't know what to talk about with strangers. It's a slow process and I see improvement. But I'm thinking about a yearlong gradual immersion into social situations. I can't seem to find the will to just immerse myself into a group setting on the spot. I like to just do my studies in my room. And plan out my career. Only immerse myself in social situations outside the context of justice reform. I respect you for speaking so openly about what happened to you and how that made you feel. That is probably a big part of the process of healing. I am internally always modifying my behavior and attitudes. The hickup is there's sometimes nothing to find. But once in a while there's a shift and everything just feels right. So that gives hope. To be honest, if I could become a little like you I'd probably be quite satisfied.

[Threeofeight]

Took a little nap. Feel a lot better

[LighrkVader]

I am actually a self taught ninja. Living in small city with no ninja clans my only option was to study lots of animes and martial arts movies... I am weird parasite in the sense that grumpy or stressed looking strangers tend to make me happy. I think it's very funny when somebody looks like they take it all so seriously. The world is a horrible joke that never gets old, and seeing as a I come from a country where smiling or talking to strangers is considered weird and inapropriate by most I am in a position to be cheered up by grumpy faces all day Hahahaha- I also find that smiling creates this feedback loop of positive thoughts and emotions and I just enjoy myself more. Looking goofy and friendly is also a big advantage for getting close to a target before striking... You are in a prison that lets you use the internet? Can you nap whenever you want to? If so thats a positive at least. I really miss napping, I just don't have time for them anymore... Good luck and stay strong in there

[Threeofeight]

I get into bad vibes that's all. Yes-day while doing my 30 minute walk. I kinda learned how to not feel anxious around most people seem to give some form of acceptance but i find it odd how 2 young guys age 18 or something with dem NY haddies. I just didnt know where to look or what to do with them. They seem to not understand a closed attitude. slightly older people seem to do. What´s on my mind isn´t something I share with people. I was suicidal not long ago. I´m on my way to recovery. I am just blocked by legal charges I obtained during depression. Great attitude about the ninjas tho. I do Tekken moves and say Fatality a lot when joking with friends. I´ve slept a lot. I have so much time. And I didn´t mean to go into personal shit like that I just dig into it and I have nobody to share it with. Yes I can and do nap quite a bit. Mostly fall into dreamless sleep hence I´m doing visualization techniques.

[Zhaylin]

My brother and friends and I used to play war games as children. We grew up watching shows like "Gotcha" and we'd slug each other if we flinched. Because of that, I'm a ninja. I nearly give people heart attacks all the time- especially my hubby I grew up in a volatile household. I played the mediator all the time and grew to be able to read people. I'm also a ridiculously nice and sweet person. That's my defensive mechanism. It's hard for people to mean to someone who's kindhearted. I live in a small town (but not TOO small- we don't know everyone ). Whenever at the store or even driving down the road, I simply nod or tip my chin. Which is something I only realized I did last year- a nod (or a lowering of my head) if it's an older person, someone cute, or a person of authority; or a tip (or raising of my chin) if it's someone I feel is my equal or who's intimidating in a different sort of way. I smile and say hi to everyone. I make eye contact with everyone. But it's exhausting. I have general anxiety. I HAVE to be able to read people and situations at all times. I have to anticipate all moods and possible exchanges. I'll sometimes avoid certain stores or lines if I know certain people will be there. Not because I don't like them but because I just don't have any more energy to spare. I've been on anti-anxiety meds for a decade or so. I also see a shrink several times a year. They help. Isolation is still the best defense though. As for small talk or deep talk. Meh. I'm not a conversationalist. I don't think enough about anything any more and I'm okay with that I don't like dragging out conversations. Say your piece and let me be on my way lol.

[Threeofeight]

Thank you zhaylin, you remind me of someone who used to work in a protected home where I lived and met loads of friends. Had the best time there. We played around so fucking much and I could really be myself. She was smart too and ridiculously sweet. She talked in a very high-pitched voice sometimes and it's adorable. I loved her. I think deep in her heart she had some sense of existentialist anxiety (due to my dreams telling me) but you could never tell easily. Anyway thank you so much for sharing. I actually find this very useful information. I also like a littlle bonding going on here.