My writing, I want to share :\

Yo I'm Draemer91 and I have something to say. Work on your self everyday. Strive to improve and get on track, too much of one thing can lead to mental overload, I know, because I was told, diagnosed with schizophrenia at 24 years old. I've gone insane, doing 200 push ups everyday, my brain was fried and people started getting in the way, I can't explain it yet but here's how it went down, I was at the gym, sitting down, a guy walked behind me and I heard him say "Don't make an action that'll make me look your way" I started seeing colors around my eyes and it all began.

I'm not trying to hide, but I'm scared, it gets to be too much, and I quit, never thinking I'm the shit, I'm not, I'm just a country boy living the simple life, I want more, I cannot ignore, the fact I'm getting older, and it's weighting on me, my problems are simple, I want to mingle

I just wanna say, I have the way, and if you listen to me, your problems will go away, I can give you everything, be there for you whenever, whatever weather. I will buy you that pink colored sweater.

I wanna give you everything, be your guy, make you feel confident and believe you can fly, I'm the guy, not a kid, but a wizard with a blue robe, I do magic and make hope, conjure a sphere, see the future and present in the same day, there's a way, we can control and rule, fuck the king it is us who are true. I hope you see me for who I am, not the lies on my face, I feel like disgrace, really? why? you're a nice guy, who is fly, is this a defense mechanism to get me through life? lie. to your self, you'll be happy, just like affirmations, you have to believe. you're the shit.

Yo I'm Draemer91 and I have something to say, I've been waiting forever and I think I finally found the way, I see the present, past and future in your face.

I had a choice with everything to lose, I was running and two paths appeared, I chose red but I quit, never finishing that shit.

It got to my head and my actions were so wack, I'll take you back.

Yo I'm Draemer91 and I have something to say. WOrk on your self every single day, you know better than I what you lack, strive to improve and get on track, success doesn't come easy, we have to do what we don't want to. Be careful though it can lead to mental overload. I know because I've done it and gone insane, now my brain isn't the way same, 2000 push ups a day, training for the Army, it was sunny, so I ran to the gym, doing crunches on the way, but then it seemed like people got in the way, I don't know yet how to explain, but it was like we were linked in the brain, seeing colors led me to the brink, I had to choose, and I had everything to lose, I think I chose red, and ate that bread, it got to my head. I was insane and my actions were so wack... I'll take you back.

shitting on the floor, smearing it all, I was naked in the poo, hearing you listen to the Voice with dad, I was so fucking mad, because it was you, that made me insane, hearing those voices. I wasn't safe. scared as fuck and under control, a good little boy, doing what he was told, but what about what I wanted? what I wanted to live? Wasn't it important? I'm just a man, and I am Sam, hearing names in my head who were holy and strong, I took the wrong road, and now I'm gonna have to deal, squeal, like a pig, I'm sorry mom but I'm just a kid.

I was thinking people were linked and there was some force, making us act the way we do, it's confusing but it's true.

I was laying in fear, not moving a muscle, I Was getting messages from something above, it told me to grind my teeth ,move my arm and pee my bed. My therapist says it's all in my head. I listened and obeyed, scared what was gonna happen if I didn't. I knew it was bad. And now I'm sad, because the same thought pattern is making me act wack. please stop controlling me, I'm not scared. I believe in my self.

I was laying in bed in fear, not moving a muscle. I Was gonna messages and instructions from something above. If I didn't obey something bad was going to happen to my family, Grinding my teeth a certain way, moving my arm to the sound of the clock sounded okay, it was the way, My parents got worried and called 911. I was hospitalized, still not moving, taken out on a stretcher I ended up in the psych ward. they took off my clothes and shot me up, and I just lay, thinking it's going to be okay.