O_O |
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I'm sorry...for whatever I've been lately, I don't know, something, something...careless, self-centered, whatever. I'm so sick of myself, my crap, making excuses, because there is no excuse for myself...and sitting here talking about it is the most pathetic thing I can do. I'm sick of posting, I'm sick, just plain sick. I'm sick of being on the fence. I'm not one way or the onther, I can't make up my mind and I'm too lazy to find out for myself so I can. I'm sick of sitting here watching people go by, expecting them to give me the answers, and if they can't, I talk to them, about all the reasons I hate myself and nothing else...while ignoring the people I love...and even if they do give me the answers, they could be wrong, or lying, and I know that...so I've still gotten nowhere...then I'm sitting there...in the dark...with no one to love but myself...I think..I'll go wandering tomorrow, get off this fence and explore the world around me. Then morning comes, and I drink my tea, I feel comfortable where I am, and I don't budge. Spiders come along, building webs of doubt around me, connected to the fence, and I'm starting to give up...I'm not going anywhere...I start to believe there is no hope for me, and the webs get stronger, I'm giving in, to the thought, that even if I did want to get off the fence someday...the webs would be too strong for me to break free... |
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Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.
O_O |
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you must be the change you wish to see in the world...
-gandhi
here here |
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R.I.P.
Illidan Stormrage, Grom Hellscream, Fenix, Ulthor Lightbringer, Tassadar.
Greatest Heros Ever.
you do that... |
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start drawing and/or writing more. read a book, watch a movie, listen to music. do whatever makes you happy, but don't be tricked into think that you aren't the only one undecided, also, don't get tricked into thinking that if you don't confom to a side you're a "sinner." sorry, if that didn't help. *suspense* |
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clear eyes. strong hands.
I'm REALLY going to miss you |
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you must be the change you wish to see in the world...
-gandhi
It is easy to get stuck on a place you end up hating, or you have hated since the beggining. It is all about the choices we are able to make, and about those we think we do, but we never had control over them in the first place. It is easy to feel lost, confused by everything that seems to be going on around you; by yourself: This is something that happens to me very often, I feel I am trapped in my own mind, with someone I don't want to be. Compelled to find answers to all of the big questions in life, to find a solution to all my existencial problems, but learning that people do not have such answer, and perhaps there is none. |
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If I hadn't made me
I'd be more inclined to bow
Powers that be would have swallowed me up
But that's more than I can allow...
Take care of yourself. |
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Early Morning Moment,
A Glimpse of Joy,
But soon it's Over, and I return to Dust...
Don't...do it.... |
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You guys suck.
Everyone has to do a little soul searching once in a while. Goodluck. *hugs* |
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She won't enjoy that hug... |
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You guys suck.
Sometimes we'll all become lost and have to stop to ponder life for a while. We'll sit on the sides of the city streets watching everyones lives pass by. We'll contemplate what people are thinking, their desires, and then relate them to ourselves.. Taking lessons from peoples lives and gradually deciding what to do with ours, while evaluating other peoples lives.. |
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Good luck there, you will manage,if you go out,in nature, do what I told you about, it will come, it will be ok. Worry about yourself, and when you find out that there is nothing to worry about, worry about others, and do what you must for them. May the eternal balance give you strength. But you have it in you, you just have to find it. |
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"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
~Buddha
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"i am the crumpled sheets of paper behind an artists' attempt at perfection"
www.myspace.com/mattnocas (more recent pics and info)
Pictures of me here-----> (4 years old now)
http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5073
Wow... computer problems kept me away and I come back to this? |
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“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
- Kurt Cobain (1967 – 1994)
aww... please don't leave. well, i mean, you know what you have to do better than i, so if that's really what you have to do then i wish you the best. i just think it'll get crappy around here w/o you. normally this is the kind of thing where i post threats about coming to your house with my board-with-a-nail-through-it for teaching you a lesson about leaving, but i guess that's not really all that appropriate here. good luck though sport! (i had to call you sport...i'm sure you'll understand. ) |
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Each new day is a chance to turn it all around.
Well, i'm perpetually in a state of observation and soul-searching...although it is just the way i am, i guess it could sort of be a way of keeping myself somewhat more controlled and consistent - rather than binging on it every time i feel i'm canyoning. i definitely understand and i know that i'm not a big part of this board (i'm pretty haphazard sometimes), so there may not an identifiable sort of appreciation for what i say...but you are not at all alone. some days i feel the exact same kind of restraint as balancing on your fence...only for me, it's like something is balancing on me, and i cannot act without it in mind or it will fall off my head. |
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"Nothing is true. All is permitted." -last words of Hassan i Sabbah X
"As understanding reaches everywhere can you be innocent?" -tao te ching 12
Wish you luck. I hope you'll find your answers... |
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Are yαυ dreαψιng?
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If I hadn't made me
I'd be more inclined to bow
Powers that be would have swallowed me up
But that's more than I can allow...
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