National Honors Society Table Manners

I'm not in nhs myself, but I know a few people who are. They have a nhs dinner coming up, and were given these table manners rules. Some of them are kinda funny:

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Manners



At Table

1: At table, all serving persons should be referred to as waiter, bus boy, or waitress. Never refer to them as Miss, Mister, or Sir.

2: Do not place purse, gloves, or other personal items on table. Place them either beside you on your chair or on the floor.

3: When passing a serving piece that has a handle, pass the handle side. Salt and pepper should never be passed as a pair. Pass the condiment that has been requested.

4: When seated at the table, promptly place your napkin on your lap. After the meal, place the napkin on the right side of the plate, unfolded.

5: When drinking any beverage at the table, a sip is never taken until the mouth is cleared and has been wiped with the napkin.

6: If food gets wedged in the teeth, and you cannot remove it with your tounge, excuse yourself, ask for a toothpick, and dislodge it in private.

7: Before putting salt and pepper on our food, taste it. Adding spice to your hostess' cooking can be an insult.

8: Proper dinner conversation should be light and non-controversial.



Ordering

Ladies -- When a menu is handed to you, make your selections promptly. Close the menu, lay it down, and tell your escort what you would like. If the waiter asks for your order, ignore him. Your escort should then intervene and place your order by saying, "The lady would like...."

Seating

Ladies -- Always wait for your escort to pull out your chair. Wait, also, for the gentleman to pull out your chair when you are finished dining.

Men -- Please pull out the chair for all ladies. Wait until she is seated before moving moving her chair closer to the table. When you are ready to leave, rise first and then pull out the chair. Remember, the lady should procede you out of the restraurant.

Coffee

Never order coffee during your meal. This is a dessert liquid and should be drunk only after the evening meal. If a cup is placed on the table upside down, turn it over when you would like your coffee served. This should be done after you have finished your meal. The one exception for drinking coffee during a meal is at breakfast.

Hostess or Host

1:...

2:...

3:...

4: The hostess/host should only eat as slowly as their slowest eating guest.

(Just skips to seven)

7:...

8: Finger bowls should be supplied after an informal meal, such as chicken or ribs. All it requires is a decorative bowl or small individual bowls filled with warm water and lemon juice. Finger bowls should be served after all finger foods and before desserts.

No, no, no... I don't like those rules, therefore I will make up my own:

1. Pasta may be eaten with your hands, only if it is not in the from of any sort of soup, such as ramen, or if it does not contain a sause that will stain the tablecloth permanently when you wipe your hands with it.

2. When one enters the dinning room, he must bow before his host or the master chef (only if the latter has an italian mustache). This, of course, is only to be done if your host is more manly than you are.

3. When one sits down at the table, it is common courtesy if you ignore the fact the chair is not quite as fancy as the one you have at home. This applies equally to the rest of the items in the house. If you absolutely must say something, then you shall speak in similies or metaphors. For example: "Wow, this seating artifact is like a gigantic prune device", or "Your car is a highly deficient kidney!".

4. When you are spiting out food that you disliked, you should first ask the host if he would like the remaining food in your plate. If he declines de offer, you may spit it with the rest of the uneaten food. However if he accepts the generous offer, you shall chew it twice more, and spit it in your lap, where your napkin is.

5. If the desert is good enough to have another serving, and one wishes to do so, he must first ask his gracious host to direct the table. He shall address all the guests and direct an auction for the remaining portions of desert. Highest bidder shall recieve the portion.

6. If one did not like the meal, he shall politely express his contempt towards the hosting party verbally, and then again by spitting in the tables condiments and spices. He will then be excused intil the next dinner gathering.


Eat by my rules and you shall never die of hunger!!!!!!

Much better aren't they!!!!!! I like my rules, and the fact I just made them up right now!!!!


P.S I'm sorry I thought this was senseless banter, well good enough anyway.

(Yes, my #200 post!!!!! I am glad its with a topic as great as this)

Edit: This is quality stuff!!! I should be a comedian, or a restaurant owner!

Wow. It sooo.... 19th century! I like Truthbearer's rules better.

How the hell could you eat by those rules? :whyme: It tells you to ignore the waiter if he/she ask what you your order is!Wtf kind of rule is that?

With my rules you punch him in the nuts if he keep bugging you to order and you are not ready...

I follow one rule at dinner time:

1) It is rude to leave the table (unless you eat that as well). Ask for more.

I believe this might be the only time I have ever out bantered you Kaniaz!!! Thanks for letting me have it!

I am pretty proud of this post! Its just great bantering....

I still win. You've posted your "best banter" in the lounge. :lol:
I am going to cherish this moment and use it to crush Truthbearer from now on. Yay.

What have I done?!!!!!!!!!

Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Lupus Lupus!!!!!!!!!!!