RESUME
>GEORGE W. BUSH
>1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
>Washington, DC 20520
>
>EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
>Law Enforcement:
>I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
>influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
>license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been \"lost\"
>and is not available.
>
>Military:
>I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
>a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
>Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in ietnam.
>College:
>I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
cheerleader.
>
>PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
>
>I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil
business
>in Midland,Texas, in 1975.
>I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The
>company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the
>Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using
>taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil
>industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of
Texas.
>
>ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
>
>I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making
>Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
>replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
>I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
>in borrowed money.
>I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
>history.
>With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
>appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
>over 500,000 votes.
>
>ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
>
>I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal
>record.
>I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
>billion dollars per week.
>I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
>I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
>I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
>12-month period.
>I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
>I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S.
>stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans
lost
>their jobs and that trend continues every month.
>I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
>administration in U.S. history. My \"poorest millionaire,\" Condoleeza
>Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
>I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S.
>President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for
receiving
>the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign
>contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over
the
>largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
>My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
>assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election
decision.
>I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
>investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
>investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
>investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history.
>I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused
>to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I
>presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
>I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
>government contracts.
>I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
>President in U.S. history.
>I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
in
>the history of the United States government.
>I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history.
>I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
>remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
>I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
>I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. \"prisoners of war\"
>detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
>I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
>inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
>I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
>President since the advent of television.
>I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period.
>After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
>security failure in U.S. history.
>I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
>attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated
country
>in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
>I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
>simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
>shattering the record for protests against any person in the history
of
>mankind.
>I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
>pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.
I
>did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
>citizens, and the world community.
>I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
>duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.
>In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
>attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
>I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
>(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
security.
>
>I am supporting development of a nuclear \"Tactical Bunker Buster,\" a
WMD.
>I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden
[sic] to
>justice.
>
>RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
>
>All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
>library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
>All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
>bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.
>All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
>attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
>unavailable for public view. [/b]
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