Thread: How far is too far?

I really, really don't like:
Being led on
Being talked about behind my back
Being completely and totally ignored by someone I care about


I can't tolerate:
Cheating
Sneaking around
Keeping secrets (although in some cases, it's perfectly acceptable)
Pretending to be someone you're not

I will not treat others in a cruel manner.

That is the ONE thing that totally toasts my bread, seeing people being cruel to each other, often times for no other reason than their own amusement.

Cheating - Absolutely unjustifiable. If you want to fuck other people, show me the respect of letting me know, and we can save a Lot of bullshit.

Treating me like anything less than your equal. If you are all about you, and I doesn't deserve to be treated like you, then you can leave me the fuck alone.

Physical violence. If you start wailing on me, for any reason, you'll at least get a few warnings, cause I don't hit women if I don't have to.

....anything after that, is your ass.

Tryin to think of more, but those are really the only things that stand out to me.

[Edit: Scrolling back up, I have to agree with what Courtney said about "pretending to be something you're not." I can't deal with fake people too intimately, let alone start a relationship with one. No disrespect to the people that live that way, but I just would rather not be a part of it.]

Someone that has control issues is a big no-no for me.

I once dated and fell in love w/ a guy that had to be in control of everything....I mean every little thing.
He was so possessive.
He didnt like it when I spent time w/ my family.
I couldnt go out w/ my girl friends....come to think of it I had no friends when I was with him b/c thats the way he wanted it.
He didnt like the clothes I would wear and would be real quick to call me a "slut" or "whore" if my clothing was anything less than baggy.
I couldnt go get a manicure, pedicure or wear just a little bit more make-up than usual w/ out him thinking I was cheating on him or trying to look pretty for other guys.
For two years I suffered until one day I had enough and walked out.
I havent seen him or heard from him in 9 years and oddly enough he's my dream sign and the 1st LD I recall having he was the main character. Sad.

......sorry for the rant but that's my thing....no control issues.

Well, the things I can't stand are:

1. Control issues. I like a bit of freedom, and when someone is always hanging over me, telling me what to do, I can't stand it.
2. Cheating is a big no no. I mean, what a load of irresponsible idotic bullshit, right? There is no reason for anyone to cheat on anyone else, ever!
3. Abuse on either side. I love to love, and I hate to see others hurting each other. That's kind of sick.
4. Not being equal. I want to be treated exactly how I treat the other person, kindly, and with respect.
5. Non accepting. I am weird sometimes, and I could only be with someone who loves me for who I am, and because I am so...me.

1. cheating is the super big no no

I used to say I was rigid on the whole openness and honesty thing too, but not many other people are that way. So I just make it my own personal unbreakable rule, while I tend to let the ones I love find their own comfortable level of openness.

I think I can tolerate just about anything, so long as it is not in the extreme. Except cheating. That's pretty black and white. Unless it was like, say, he cheated on me because he was about to break up with me anyway. Which still sucks, but it's not like he's trying to keep me and have others on the side. That would be 100% unacceptable for me. And while I could forgive a guy for cheating on me, it's like, how do you stay with someone who you can't even trust to be loyal? And if he lied about it too, well there ya go. No amount of forgiveness can mend that I'm afraid.

2. hitting me

Fortunately a boyfriend has never hit me. But Chris's father grabbed my arm once and twisted it behind my back because I pissed him off, and I was holding a 3 month old Chris in my other arm at the time. Then I told him to hit the road and I haven't seen him since except on Chris's first birthday.

But yeah, the physical violence = byebye. Not out of vindictiveness, but out of not wanting to see it escalate. Best to end it before it turns into black eyes, bloody noses, and broken bones. Or worse.

total honesty, or i'm not interested. everything else is a case by case kind of thing.