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    1. #1
      Aeo
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      Dating and Relationships

      Does anyone find relationships to be the hardest thing on this planet? I've yet to have a relationship...and I just end up telling myself crazy story's and bad excuses as to why I can't 'put myself out there.' Am I alone?
      "It's better to travel well than to arive"

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      Re: Dating and Relationships

      Originally posted by Aeo
      Does anyone find relationships to be the hardest thing on this planet? I've yet to have a relationship...and I just end up telling myself crazy story's and bad excuses as to why I can't 'put myself out there.' Am I alone?
      I like to just whip it out and give someone a mushroom stamp!

      No no no, fo rael. Relationships are pretty damn tricky, but if you're in high school, FUCK IT! Just have fun, date around, get some hot ass, and graduate without any ties. That's the way to go.

    3. #3
      Aeo
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      I wish I could say that...but i'm a freshman in college lol
      "It's better to travel well than to arive"

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    4. #4
      Member Jrels's Avatar
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      I think that relationships are best avoided at all costs unless deemed absolutely necessary.

    5. #5
      Member Dangeruss's Avatar
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      well if you're looking for a more moderate opinion, my advice is to hold nothing back. you don't have time to live with regrets, just decide what you want and go for it! seriously, there really is nothing to lose!
      Courtney est ma reine. Et oui, je suis roi.

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      100% of the people I meet are idiots. If you are the one guy in the world who isn't an idiot, put this in your sig line.

    6. #6
      Member Courtney Mae's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Dangeruss
      well if you're looking for a more moderate opinion, my advice is to hold nothing back. you don't have time to live with regrets, just decide what you want and go for it! seriously, there really is nothing to lose!
      Aww, I wish it where that easy.

    7. #7
      Member Dangeruss's Avatar
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      it is. it's all in your head, I swear!
      Courtney est ma reine. Et oui, je suis roi.

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      100% of the people I meet are idiots. If you are the one guy in the world who isn't an idiot, put this in your sig line.

    8. #8
      Member Courtney Mae's Avatar
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      Yeah, but...I just can't bring myself to do something like that.

    9. #9
      Member Dangeruss's Avatar
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      alcohol. that's all i have to say about that.
      Courtney est ma reine. Et oui, je suis roi.

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      100% of the people I meet are idiots. If you are the one guy in the world who isn't an idiot, put this in your sig line.

    10. #10
      Member InTheMoment's Avatar
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      Three cheers to that! Russ is on point with that advice.
      Hide the kids...Uncle ITM is back!
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    11. #11
      Member Dangeruss's Avatar
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      haha ITM, I couldn't have asked for a better person to exemplify my point like that. cheers!
      Courtney est ma reine. Et oui, je suis roi.

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      100% of the people I meet are idiots. If you are the one guy in the world who isn't an idiot, put this in your sig line.

    12. #12
      Aeo
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      Originally posted by Courtney
      *Yeah, but...I just can't bring myself to do something like that.
      i'm with you... As much as I know that it's all in my head and that I really don't have anything to lose I still don't go all out. I can't hold back anymore!
      "It's better to travel well than to arive"

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    13. #13
      Member The Blue Meanie's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Dangeruss
      well if you're looking for a more moderate opinion, my advice is to hold nothing back. you don't have time to live with regrets, just decide what you want and go for it! seriously, there really is nothing to lose!
      There's always something to lose.

      Innocence, ideals, dreams... more importantly, love.

      Call me an idealist, or a fool, but, whatever it is, I'm one of these suckers who still believes in true love. Corny, I know.

      Now, sure, you can go through life having relationships left, right, and center, and accumulating more than your share of broken hearts, destroyed ideals, and unfulfilled dreams along the way. You might even have fun. Hell, this might even work best for some people.

      But... I dunno. I decided, a while ago, to take a fairly simple approach when it comes to relationships: Do it once, and do it right. I can't say I've strictly followed that approach during my life, but, I've tried to stick to it as best I can.

      So, have I found the right relationship yet? You may well ask. The answer, at least for the nonce, is a big fat no. But I still gots my ideals, my dreams, and, to the extent that it's possible to retain in the dark world that is modern society, I still hang on to my innocence.

      Most people lose those along the way.

    14. #14
      Member Gwendolyn's Avatar
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      Originally posted by The Blue Meanie

      There's always something to lose.

      Innocence, ideals, dreams... more importantly, love.

      Call me an idealist, or a fool, but, whatever it is, I'm one of these suckers who still believes in true love. *Corny, I know.

      Now, sure, you can go through life having relationships left, right, and center, and accumulating more than your share of broken hearts, destroyed ideals, and unfulfilled dreams along the way. *You might even have fun. *Hell, this might even work best for some people.

      But... I dunno. *I decided, a while ago, to take a fairly simple approach when it comes to relationships: Do it once, and do it right. *I can't say I've strictly followed that approach during my life, but, I've tried to stick to it as best I can.

      Exactly. You said it. I mean, I could never be the kind of person that moved from person to person. I don't think I would be happy. Having my one true love is the best thing that has ever happened to me....I would never give that away. Relationships are damn hard, but that goes with the territory. If you love the person you are with though, you can work anything out.

      Anyway, I guess it's whatever floats your boat, but for me, it's love.
      Shine on, you crazy diamond!

      Raised: The Blue Meanie, Exobyte

      Adopted: MarcusoftheNight

    15. #15
      Member Lucifer Sam's Avatar
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      Aww....I love you too sweetheart. You're absolutely right though. No two people will ever agree entirely. One of the major work-involved areas of a relationship is trying to work toward understanding the other person better. Believe me, I know.

      But, in this regard, either person should be willing to do as much as possible for the other. There's also something with agreements that tends to help. Everythime a conflict is resolved, it seems to be less important, I.E. you probably won't be as hard and fast stuck to your own ideas when you realize that your lover isn't going to press you about them, since you've come to an agreement.

      Maybe we're just lucky, but I don't think so, I think its all about dedication. The big commitment thing. Love is such a combination of trust that to engage in it is like a promise to integrate another person into your life, this probably will mean changing yourself, but not against your own accord. You should always be willing to cooperate, if not, thens omething is wrong.

      Anyway, thats enough from me. Love you Gwen....

      I love you honey. ::

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      Erebus

    16. #16
      Life is what I make it will.i.am's Avatar
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      Re: Dating and Relationships

      Originally posted by Aeo
      Does anyone find relationships to be the hardest thing on this planet?
      I do. I've had my fair share of girlfriends and all the drama that comes too. I cant bring myself into another relationship after my last two. The break ups were really tough on me, so I've just kept the singles lifestyle. Love isnt a race, and I am in no hurry really. Now my philosophy is to just keep doing what I like and maybe I'll catch a girls eye along the way. The true girl that's for me, will find me.

    17. #17
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      Re: Dating and Relationships

      Originally posted by will.i.am


      I do. I've had my fair share of girlfriends and all the drama that comes too. I cant bring myself into another relationship after my last two. The break ups were really tough on me, so I've just kept the singles lifestyle. Love isnít a race, and I am in no hurry really. Now my philosophy is to just keep doing what I like and maybe I'll catch a girls eye along the way. The true girl that's for me, will find me.
      This is totally the way to be Will. She will come to you. The person that searches for love may never find it... in my opinion. Most the time it will fall in your lap.

      Dating is fun but relationships can be very rewarding. I don't believe in "THE ONE TRUE LOVE", fairy tale endings, "They lived happily every after", or riding off into the sunset. Sorry to say but life is hard and love is hard. It is worth it though. You may love many people in your life and who's to say you will end up with "THE ONE"

      Sooooo, have fun for now. Take what comes and love whoever you can.


      I haven\'t posted in FOREVER.... so there it is *poof*
      Raised By Seeker!!!

    18. #18
      Member kage's Avatar
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      when i was a freshman in college, i had very little experience in relationships. i was always too shy in high school to really do much of anything with a girl other than just hang out and be friends. so i decided that when i came to college, things would be different, i would have lots of girlfriends, be a playboy, whatever. to make a long story short, i got married 1.5 years ago to, essentially, the first girl i met at the university (well, the first one i became friends with).

      there are a couple morals to this story. first is that your plans can change. in the words of john lennon, "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." i had planned on having many different girlfriends, testing the waters, etc. nancy was my first and only in college. when i was in high school, i didn't think i'd get married until i was in my mid- to late-twenties. well, i got engaged when i was 19 and married at 21.

      the second moral is not to rush into things. i love my wife, and will always love her, but will also always wonder how my life would be different if i had done things differently. i honestly think that she and i are soul mates and that fate would have brought us together no matter what we did, but we didn't really resist fate at all. i didn't plan on proposing to her when i did. i had finished one year of college; she had done two. we were in love (still are ). the day before i proposed, we had eaten some mushrooms. we ate some the next day too. as some of you might know, if you eat mushrooms two days in a row, you don't really trip much the second day. so i was a little out of my head, but not bad. we went to bed. didn't go to sleep for some time . . . . . . anyway, for a while i had been thinking of marrying her when we were both finished with college. so, around 4 in the morning, i thought to myself, "fuck it, why wait to ask?" so i asked her (and i think these were my exact words) "when we're both finished with school, will you marry me?" and the rest is history. we got married about 6 months to a year earlier than we originally planned, but that was still 2.5 years after we got engaged. so i kind of rushed into the engagement, but not the marriage. and i think we would have gotten married anyway, so this probably isn't the best example for not rushing into things. oh well.

      third is have fun while you can! when i came to college, i wanted more experience. i got some, with one person. now i want variety. i can't tell you how many times i've thought about missed opportunities in high school that i either didn't realize i had or just fucked up. even now, i sometimes regret my lack of experience. the irony here is that i have much more self-confidence now than i used to. i am much more at ease with myself and others and i think i could probably "get some variety" if i wanted to. but, of course, i can't because i love my wife and would never want to do anything to hurt her.

      i don't know. these things have been on my mind recently, and this thread just brought them out.

    19. #19
      Aeo
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      That's some interesting stuff. When I came into college I didn't even think about getting with any girls really. I was so shy and just, oh...not myself. There was this girl who I was friends with and she would hang out with me all the time. I (for whatever reason) was denying that I wanted to 'hook-up' with her.

      I finally decided that I did want to get with her, but on basically the next day I found out that she had sex with some guy. It killed me 'cause I was there when they met, and I just kind of knew it, yet she didn't tell me. I don't know...it got me really depressed first term. BUT, because of that stage of depression I was finally able to break the cycle of myself (always being depressed and taking everything personally.) I guess I love the entire situation because, even though she's a pretty selfish girl (who I don't even talk to anymore) that you shouldn't hide your feelings. You should be yourself, and take chances.

      Recently though, I was so sure that I was finally going to get something going with a girl in class....but it's basically not there. The thing is, I thought I saw so many signs, and so many coincidences that I really thought it was true. But I realized from this that I had just told myself a story in my head...and I didn't follow through. Basically, I waited too long to make a move, and now I don't even have a chance

      BUT, just as any girl can walk in to my life any day of the week, they can leave aswell. From now on, If I see something, I'm going to say something. Because of this year of college i've learned to stop playing games with myself....so i'm lookin way forward to next year
      "It's better to travel well than to arive"

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    20. #20
      Member exploreyourmind's Avatar
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      duuuuudddeeeeee. i am horrible with girls as well. the ones i want anyways. i dunno man, i need advice as much as you. just know im with you.

    21. #21
      Aeo
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      That's the funniest part about it. I can get girls that i'm not interested in to absolutely love me. If only I could view girls that I liked the same way as those that i'm not physically attracted to. I guess that's a good start to fix my problem...pretend they're all the same
      "It's better to travel well than to arive"

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    22. #22
      Member Lucina's Avatar
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      Ahhh, love. I love to love, and I love to be loved. I was never big on dating. I've dated probably 5 people in my life time. Once of them being online, but I cared for them just the same. I am in a relationship now and it rocks me to the core. 15 months of hugs, cuddles, disagreements, arguments, make-ups and most importantly love love love.

      It's a bit of a funny story. Amber(my girlfriend) and I dated back in 03. We actually met online and ended up hitting it off. I was 16? No, 17 when this happened. I had moved out when I was 16, due to my step-dad and I not getting along. We ended up breaking up, and it was one of the best break-ups you could ever ask for. We were both too busy, both had other things in our lives to deal with. I was juggling school, work and trying to survive without my family. We talked on and off online for about a year. Both of us moved around and I ended up back at my moms house after her and my step-dad split. I always missed Amber, and thought about her a lot. I didn't love her at that time, I was pretty young and had a lot of growing up to do. So did Amber. We ended up making plans around Christmas time a year later. We hung out and sparks flew. She had just started dating a different girl when we first started hanging out again. Well, that was difficult for me because I really liked her, and I wanted to give us another shot. So I came up with a plan. Sweep her off her feet and steal her away! Sounds selfish, but I really wanted this woman.

      We hang out, talk, and success! Her and her girlfriend at the time call it quits and her and I dated a few weeks later. It was awesome, but a couple weeks after trouble at home happened. She ended up getting kicked out, homosexuality being on of the reasons. Since my mom pretty much loves gay people and the whole gay culture, she says yes, Amber can stay with us. Well I was so damn excited. We lived at my moms house for about 3 months, and then moved to where I live now. She lived here with me for another 4-5 months and then left back home to make money. It's too hard out here to get a job, so she moved back into her parents house. It was probably the hardest thing to deal with since we had started dating. I'm pretty confident that I can tell the difference between love and infatuation. I also don't love easily. I don't throw certain words around, and I love you is one of them.

      So, our 16 months will be on the 5th of next month and it's just amazing to me. Ambers longest relationship before me was about 4 months, mine was 2 months, and that was when we dated back in 03. We have a great relationship, and obviously, we have out problems but that's what makes relationships work. We are currently trying to move back in together. I'd like to one day get married, but I'm only 19. I have a whole life ahead of me, and hopefully she is right by my side.

      So I guess I'm pretty lucky. Our relationship is very easy. I mean obviously we have to put in effort, but nothing about our relationship is hard. It's very natural and very loving. We've hit a few bumps in the road, but that's to be expected when you're in a relationship.

      For those who are having relationship troubles, just hang in there. Once it comes, it'll knock you off your feet, and you'll appreciate it more. If you just can't wait any longer or you're so lonely it hurts, here, you can have some love from me.
      Live for the journey, not the destination.

    23. #23
      Member The Blue Meanie's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Lucina
      If you just can't wait any longer or you're so lonely it hurts, here, you can have some love from me.
      Awww.... thanks!

      You got no IDEA how much I needed that.

    24. #24
      Member irishcream's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Lucifer Sam
      Aww....I love you too sweetheart. You're absolutely right though. No two people will ever agree entirely. One of the major work-involved areas of a relationship is trying to work toward understanding the other person better. Believe me, I know.

      But, in this regard, either person should be willing to do as much as possible for the other. There's also something with agreements that tends to help. Everythime a conflict is resolved, it seems to be less important, I.E. you probably won't be as hard and fast stuck to your own ideas when you realize that your lover isn't going to press you about them, since you've come to an agreement.

      Maybe we're just lucky, but I don't think so, I think its all about dedication. The big commitment thing. Love is such a combination of trust that to engage in it is like a promise to integrate another person into your life, this probably will mean changing yourself, but not against your own accord. You should always be willing to cooperate, if not, thens omething is wrong.

      Anyway, thats enough from me. Love you Gwen....
      Hey, you hit the nail on the head there!! I could never love someone if Curtis went away...
      Relationships are hard work, and there's a lot of communication involved (which i find the most difficult thing of all!!!)
      But for all that hard work, there's the reward of knowing someone loves you just exactly as you are, and the faith that you can always come to an understanding, because you're prepared to compromise.
      I think they're harder if two people stop talking...then you're in trouble in my eyes...
      'all of the moments that already passed/
      try to go back and make them last.'

    25. #25
      Member Scruffy's Avatar
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      True love is a wonderful thing, and well worth the effort it takes to find it. It seems to me that 'love' is often used far to lightly nowadays, but I shouldn't say any more on that, lest I go into an angry rant on the faults of society.

      I've never been big on dating, though that could be because I've only dated one girl. It could also be because I'm just not that good of it. I can't really open up to someone unless I know them very well, and discussing more insignificant things with someone for long can drive me crazy, unless its one of my obessions. I have trouble connecting with people I don't already know somewhat well, and both of us would probably get bored before anything developed.

      I was in a relationship with my only girlfriend, J, for nearly 3 years until around November 05, when we broke up. I tried to pretend it didn't bother me that much, but when she hooked up with another guy, I realized how much I still loved her. That other guy has since gone away and I'm trying to work things out with J right now. Things are sort of in a state of limbo, but I know I love her more than anything in the world, and I hope we can work things out. We've been talking a lot lately, really connecting with eachother, speaking openly about things that matter, and its almost been like heaven for me.

      To tell the truth, I'm a little scared of what might happen if things don't work out between us. I've got virtually no experience with dating, and I'm a very quiet guy, so I tend to make a first impression of being pretty bland (unless, as I mentioned, someone shares one of my interests, in which case I might never shut up).

      What I look for in relationships is someone I can connect with, a companion in the journey through life. It seems like most people want something more immediate and superficial than that, which is probably what worries me most about not making it with J. I suppose what I want is pretty much the same as the Blue Meanie: to keep my dreams, ideals, innocence, and find true love thats based on more than satisfying a physical desire.

      Woah, that was long.
      Well life is short, so love the one ya' got, 'cause you might get run over or you might get shot.

      ~Sublime

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