Guy Troubles. Please Help.

Alright, i need help. i cant talk to an guys well. with girls i can talk great! i have lots of friends and im comfortable. but whenever im talking to any guys, i start to worry about what im saying, and everything comes out badly. i'm a little boyish myself, i like video games, snowboarding, and occasionally scrapping with my friends. i dunno what they wanna hear. wat do i do? brag? fish for compliments? act uninterested? be depressed? act super happy? act shy? ask about him? tell him about me?

gah.........................im so lost..............please help. :(

Haha, wow. I've never heard of troubles coming from the other half. Not around here, anyway.

If you mean guys in general, just don't be nervous. Talk to them like any other person, and have NO intention of asking them out. Just normal conversation.

If you mean one specific guy, just approach him and ask him out. I, personally, probably wouldn't turn many girls down. I mean, if that actually happened every once in a while. :?

heh i was the same exact way not too long ago.now, i just cant stop them from talking to me, its kinda annoying. but see my problem was i had super low self esteem.. and now for some strange reason, i have high confidence in myself, and i dont worry about what i say. If you are really afraid, then just start out small. talk to some guys online, or in a study group, or ask a guy a question about homework. Since you enjoy things guys like to do (snowboarding rocks ass!!) talk about that. Let them know that you arent a stuck up girl that comes off as un approachable. in fact, be as approachable as you can. smile sometimes, be friendly to guys. but yes as freshbrains said, dont be afraid that they'll think OMG does she like me? ew god no! b/c that is definently probably not going through their brains, as long as your not flirting w/ them. Just be yourself, you'll find a guy that will love that

~R~

there are 3 types of guys

Computer nerds
it's a rare sight to see this type, to be honest
they sit behind a machine all day
however they do sometimes venture outside to buy food & toiletry supplies
very boring, with next to no funny anecdotes
best to avoid

Modern Cavemen
Again, you want to avoid these
they learn courting techniques off of the discovery channel
and tend to think that shouting at you from the other side of the street is a good way to get noticed
and the best display of upper-body strength will entice the females to breed with them

Level-headed guys with similar interests to yourself
These are the best kind


glad I could help

Try not to worry so much, don't think about what your going to say and don't worry about it. The most common advice: Just be yourself, be the normal person that everyone knows and loves. Hell, you don't have any trouble communicating with us here do you? Just act normally.

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ask about him? tell him about me? [/b]

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Both! Be social, talk about your interests, ask about his. You say your a bit "boyish" yourself, that should only help you! If you have similar interests to guys, it'd be a great way to start a convorsation and make a good basis.

Snowboarding is a good one! I personally love snowboarding, and have met a lot of great and cool people through it. Snowboarding is probably one of the best things for socializing, esspecially at lodges.

Video Gaming along with Snowboarding is almost perfect! Best of both worlds! Again, personally a major interest of mine. Your interests already are similar to that of most guys, so you can use them to get a topic going.

The key is confidence. Just push all worry away, and be confident. Don't think about it too much, just hold your head high and treat it like you would normally with your other friends. Nothing to it :)

Ive never heard of a girl having problems talking to guys.

I think most guys would just be happy to talk to a GIRL..LOL. Soo just talk about anything, a guy will usually just listen to whatever a girl talks about. Most girls (i guess not you because you are"boyish") talk about cosmetics or girl stuff. But since you like to do things that a guy does it will be easy to talk about stuff, so just talk about what you like and he will probably began talking aswell, unstead of just listening to you. So this way you will have begone wounderfull conversation.

Well, I find myself a bit boyish at times as well. I love video games and my current favorite sport is Judo which essentially consists of throwing people around :) There's also a guy I like and wasn't too subtle about it (ie. making excuses to spend more time on his floor in the dormitory).

Is there a particular boy that you want to talk to or just boys in general? If it's a guy you're attracted to, make sure you know exactly what you want out of a relationship and then find out if it's possible that he wants the same thing. If he doesn't, don't try to change his mind. If he does, he does. If it's just guys in general, some of your topics are right on, but if you're still not certain, just come up with some topics ahead of time that you can discuss. Don't feel shy about sharing your experiences as long as you let them do a share of the talking. And at first just find topics that you're comfortable talking about.

If you just nervous, take a second or so to relax and get your thoughts in order before you speak. Sometimes it's hard to "just relax," so just speak your mind. If it comes out wierd, oh well. It's all practice. :) Make a point of talking to guys. Maybe start out with people you don't know, such as a friend of a friend you haven't met. Then ask them the simple questions and then get into a broader topic that you can discuss.

flutter your eyelashes a lot
and play with your hair
we go all mushy when you do that

anyway,
I think your real problem is learning how to control a conversation
it's sort of similar to this, in a way
http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/index.php?...st&p=367377

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Originally Posted by Ynot

Computer nerds
it's a rare sight to see this type, to be honest
they sit behind a machine all day
however they do sometimes venture outside to buy food & toiletry supplies
very boring, with next to no funny anecdotes
best to avoid
[/b]

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Hey! I'll have you know that I'm hilarious! >:C

Well, I used to be terrified to talk to girls. Now, I have no fear at all XD... fun

Now, before I start talking about what you should do let me tell you something... Guys want to talk to you. Probably really bad XD. If you get any sort of conversation going they will probably work harder from thier end to keep it going then you will =P. Now, all you need, and ever needed is a way to break the ice and a couple things to break possible silences.

Since you arn't too comfortable with guys yet it would probably be best to try a conversation with one where you two are naturally togeather such as in class. If you are sitting beside/near a guy then try him. If not, make up a random excuse (i need to be closer to the board to read it) and move beside a guy.

Breaking the ice.

There is one word the you need to break the first ice. Its "Hello". When they sit beside you/you sit down beside them say hi, smile and look them in the eye. Congrats, you are now 75% towards haveing a conversation with that person! That wasn't hard was it?

Starting the conversation

I'll be the first to say that there is no universal way to start a real conversation. Ways to get them talking with you include "How are you?" (I use this alot. It shows them that you actually care to an extent.) "What are you up to?" or something similar. A real conversation requires a topic. Look around you, think of what he would care about and listen to what he says. Take something from there and make a statement or question. If he doesn't already know what you have chosen say "did you know ____" If its a question ask "Do you think ___" and if its a statement just say it. After that, dont plan, just say what comes naturaly. And remember, theres no pressure to preform. One person thinking a little bit down on you is never the end of the world. Just smile and be friendly.

I'm a fucking nerd, no doubt. Play a video game with me without sucking, and I could care less what you say.

Just doing my bit to be 100% unhelpful

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Originally Posted by FreshBrains

Haha, wow. I've never heard of troubles coming from the other half. Not around here, anyway.

If you mean guys in general, just don't be nervous. Talk to them like any other person, and have NO intention of asking them out. Just normal conversation.

If you mean one specific guy, just approach him and ask him out. I, personally, probably wouldn't turn many girls down. I mean, if that actually happened every once in a while. :?
[/b]

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Yeah, wouldn't it be nice if that happened occasionally. I don't get the thing about guys having to ask girls out. Well, I am kinda the same way around girls (I'm a guy, not a lesbian), and am shy, and what I find helps is to not really think about the fact that they are a girl (or a guy in your case) (but don't immagine them as being your sex, that's creepy), and just talk to them like any other person. If you are scared of approaching them, then just talk to guys who talk to you first, or join in a existing conversation on something that interests you. Sharing funny experiences also works if you ask me.

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Originally Posted by WinryRockbell

i'm a little boyish myself, i like video games, snowboarding, and occasionally scrapping with my friends. [/b]

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that sounds hot to me! I bet you can get a guy so easy, you just have to be yourself. I bet theres guys out there saying "man i really like winryrockbell, but i dont think she would date me" Your good, go get em tiger.

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Originally Posted by BPolar

that sounds hot to me! I bet you can get a guy so easy, you just have to be yourself. I bet theres guys out there saying "man i really like winryrockbell, but i dont think she would date me" Your good, go get em tiger.
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Hahaha. That's good shit. I was thinking the exact same thing.

Winry, do you have any idea how many guys would love to have a girl that was "a little bit boyish"? It's one thing to get a girl that was a true "girly girl" but otherwise attractive. It's the holy grail, for a guy, to have a girl that can relate to guys, the way that you do (video games, "X-treme sports," etc.)

You've got a lot going for you that most girls, that get guys all the time, don't even have. Just be yourself. If a guy doesn't like you for who you are, fundamentally, he's probably not good enough for you.

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Originally Posted by Artelis

Play a video game with me without sucking, and I could care less what you say.

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I'llyou know i rock at video games, thank you very much.

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Originally Posted by Artelis

that sounds hot to me! I bet you can get a guy so easy, you just have to be yourself. I bet theres guys out there saying "man i really like winryrockbell, but i dont think she would date me" Your good, go get em tiger.
[/b]

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Originally Posted by Artelis

Hahaha. That's good shit. I was thinking the exact same thing.

Winry, do you have any idea how many guys would love to have a girl that was "a little bit boyish"? It's one thing to get a girl that was a true "girly girl" but otherwise attractive. It's the holy grail, for a guy, to have a girl that can relate to guys, the way that you do (video games, "X-treme sports," etc.)

You've got a lot going for you that most girls, that get guys all the time, don't even have. Just be yourself. If a guy doesn't like you for who you are, fundamentally, he's probably not good enough for you.
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Ha ha :content: thanks guys it makes me feel better that not all guys are looking for a girly-girl.

Thanks too everyone else too! It's nice to know that i can talk about these things without being judged and questioned (unlike some stupid immature friends of mine. :? )

Don't forget to bring your femininity with you, though. It's fun to play with the boys, but we're still not one of them, so don't be afraid to show a bit of your girly side from time to time ;)

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Originally Posted by Amethyst

Don't forget to bring your femininity with you, though. It's fun to play with the boys, but we're still not one of them, so don't be afraid to show a bit of your girly side from time to time ;)
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Yea, I'll play your game you rouge.