Death Affecting Ld Attempts

**Clairity** · 03-19-2007 12:24 AM

Hi all..

My husband's mom died of cancer last Thursday (3/15). The doctors ONE WEEK earlier had stopped all treatment (as they were futile) and simply made her as comfortable as possible while we waited for her to die. To say that it was hard on my husband and his family is an understatement. His mom had been physically fit all her life (she ran miles everyday.. she didn't smoke or drink, etc.). In fact, his parents had just been here at Xmas celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. My mother-in-law mentioned that her stomach had been bothering her. The 1st week in Jan. she went to the doctor.. the second week of Jan. she found out she had stomach cancer.. the following weeks she had two chemo treatments and now she's dead.

I usually try for LDs using the wbtb method but I find that once I wake up in the middle of the night.. my mind instantly goes to her and I can't body asleep/mind awake (the thoughts are too strong). Plus I almost at times feel slightly "scared" for lucidity to occur (tho I know this is irrational).

Has death affected anyone else's dreams in this way? How did you get over it? I am a very spiritual person (believe in heaven/hell/afterlife, etc.) which is why this might be so hard for me.

NOTE: I was on very good terms with my mother-in-law and was able to say "goodbye" to her (tho she couldn't respond).. so I'm not concerned with anything left "unsaid" or "undone".

Thanks to any and all who reply.

P.S.: Please love strong and love hard.. you just never know what tomorrow may bring (or take away).

**TheUnknown** · 03-19-2007 01:01 AM

lol

**NeAvO** · 03-19-2007 01:15 AM

I'm sorry for your loss clairity.

Originally Posted by TheUnknown

lol
[/b]

What the hell is so funny?

**Moonbeam** · 03-19-2007 03:07 AM

Originally Posted by TheUnknown

lol
[/b]

Yea, what the hell?

My condolences Clairity. I can totally understand; at night my mind is so susceptible to going over and over a subject, and worrying, and thinking about things, it just drives you crazy. Especially when something traumatic has happened; I can still get worked up over stuff from a long time ago, so when it is still so fresh it I know it is really bad. Most of the time things seem better the next day and I wonder why I was so obssessed and couldn't let it go.

Probably you just need time. It is good that you have no regrets; that would make it worse and take longer to get over, I'm sure.

As far as getting scared to have a lucid: that is something that sometimes happens to me, altho I don't much like to talk about it because I think I should have more control. My lucids are about as likely as my non-lucids to be a scary or bad dream, it seems like. I feel like if I am thinking the wrong things before I go to sleep I will have a bad-lucid.

I hope this passes soon for you.

**Artelis** · 03-19-2007 03:13 AM

Something like this will probably affect all parts of your life, including your ability to LD. You'll just have to rework everything.

**Pastro** · 03-19-2007 04:11 AM

Ive had to deal with a lot of deaths in my fifteen years of life, the worst being the death of my mother when I was three. Be glad you were able to say goodbye because a death without closure is a lot worse.

Lucid dreaming is a great way of getting away from your thoughts and obligations so it may seem tempting at a time like this. But with the amount of stress and grief on your mind right now I think it would be best to take a break from lding. With your current mindset your not going to be successful and any failure to ld is only going to frustrate you.

Im sorry for your loss.

**Clairity** · 03-19-2007 04:35 AM

Originally Posted by TheUnknown

lol[/b]

wow.. there are no words to describe how I felt when I saw the first reply was "lol".

To everyone else.. thank you for your kindness and I agree that it will take some time to get "over" something like this.

It has helped just to be able to discuss this topic with others who would (for the most part) understand both the loss of a family member and the loss of lucid dreams.

Thanks again..

**Burns** · 03-19-2007 04:40 AM

I'm so sorry Clairity

What a sudden and terrible thing to happen. It's strange how things can change so dramatically in such a short amount of time. We are here for you if you need to talk. My sympathy goes out to you and your family.

**Clairity** · 03-19-2007 04:34 PM

Thanks so much Burns..

Thread: Death Affecting Ld Attempts

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