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    1. #1
      Bio-Turing Machine O'nus's Avatar
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      Worst Movies Ever!

      A'hoy hoy,

      I felt this would be a good topic to bring up and see if anyone else shares my views on the worst movies ever released. Here goes:

      Shadow Fury - An anime which has a very... intriguing dvd cover. After watching 30 minutes of this movie and becoming helplessly lost in the senseless battles resembling Dragonball Z's eight-teen long episodes over the preperation for one battle, I felt it more productive to self-induce diahrhea (which is funny because lot's of the groaning sounds they make in these movies makes me think they are constipated, so I feel I am making it up for them). I can't even remember what the plot is because I did not think there was one - oh, there is a guy, and he has a thing called "Shadow Fury" much like a deus ex machina or trump card in a movies plot line, once it comes forth, the rest of the movie is predictabel - they kick the bad guys ass hardcore. Terrible. The music is really monotonous and annoying. I hated it. I watched it all in hopes of not feeling completely ripped off from renting it and that I could have bought some candy bars or cheap drugs which would enterain about tenfolds better than this lousy movie, but it did not. The ending is good - by that I mean smashing the dvd with my elbow.

      The Judas Project - I'm not sure what's worse; a pathetic anime movie full of senseless battles to try and make up for teens lack of better entertainment, or a Christian propoganda movie. This movie is a contemporary portrayal of Jesus and his crucifixion.. the cover displays a pretty cool pose of Jesus (or Jesse is his name in the movie.. for some reason.. his is the only one that is different) wearing the thorned crown with climactic lightning and cool apache helicopters - but the movie contained no helicopters, only helicopter sounds and blinding lights. I hated this movie; the feeling I had while watching this movie is like that of being constipated and spending an hour to try and alleviate the agony, and then realizing you are out of toilet paper. The acting is the worst - I would nominate porn actors for an oscar over any of these pathetic "thespians". In many scenes, if someone did not understand that the movie was a contemporary version of the original, they would become completel lost as to why Peter was beaten by the police for mourning over Jesse's (remember, Jesse is Jesus) coffin. Terrible, I hate it.

      Deep Impact - Continuously in anticipation for events to come, it felt like being on death row except that you want to die because Bubba is getting a little too close for comfort - much like the plots sad attempt at suspense, although not so messy. It was so incredibly asinine that they could outrun/outbike a tsunami that I laughed.. I could not do anything else but laugh.. An asteroid the size of Texas hits Earth and causes an ominous tidal wave to ensorm the coasts, so in order to avoid this near apocolyptic event.. just run to a hill. *Sigh*

      Epoch - This low budget, unpopular, piece of crap gets its just deserves. A movie full of mystery and questions ends with.. ambiguity, just like your mother in law winking at you at the dinner table while enjoying her fudge desert, you just feel violated. This movie is about a rock that erupts from the Earths deep crust and someone displays God-like powers by resurrecting the dead, curing diseases, etc. We then have political interferences within the movie, and yet again, the Japanese are made to look like finatic war mongers wanting to destory.. anything, for no reason. Which reminds me of Pearl Harbour, I hated that movie too.

      Any Olson Twins Movie - No comment.

      Signs - ........ I suggest reading Maddox's review... terrible.

      I feel that is sufficient for now.

      I look forward to seeing everyone elses thoughts, toodles.

      Note: I thought I made this topic in the lounge - my apologies to the mod that has to do my dirty work.

    2. #2
      Member ashliebelle's Avatar
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      Daredevil
      A completely laughable movie. I understand that it's supposed to be comic book-esque, but it was just bad. I laughed only when lines were too completely cheesy to take, and not when they were actually supposed to be "funny". The childhood of the said hero took up way too much of the beginning. Don't see it.

      Pest
      I actually don't remember this movie very much, thank god. All I remember is that I hated it more than anything. The only reason I watched it was becuase I liked the guy who wanted to watch it.

      Olsen Twins
      I'm going to have to agree... every story is exactly the same (You can't say you hate them unless you've seen them... Have you seen them O'nus?)

      Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (or Philosopher's Stone)
      I am speaking as a hardcore Harry Potter fan... I can barely stand to watch the first Harry Potter movie anymore. I wouldn't consider it worst of all time, but I wasn't satisfied with it at all...


      I'm going to have to disagree with Deep Impact. The piece that hit the ocean wasn't the size of Texas, the larger one was, which is destroyed. The smaller one was like, the size of manhatten, and caused considerable damage. They could escape it by running up a hill becuase they were in, like, Ohio. I confess that it isn't accurate scientifically, but i don't think the entire movie should be considered "bad" just because of the inaccuracies. I liked the actors a lot, and cried at the end.
      "Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."
      William Dement


      Adopted by Truthbearer

    3. #3
      Bio-Turing Machine O'nus's Avatar
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      Originally posted by ashliebelle
      Olsen Twins
      I'm going to have to agree... every story is exactly the same (You can't say you hate them unless you've seen them... Have you seen them O'nus?)
      I still cry during the night sometimes...

    4. #4
      CT
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      Aw come on, you dont watch olsen twins movies for the storyline, do you? You dont watch porn for the either, right? I mean, I watch olsen twins movies because, Im a necrophiliac, and I like skeletons.

    5. #5
      Member Lowercase Society's Avatar
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      Originally posted by O'nus+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(O'nus)</div>
      <!--QuoteBegin-ashliebelle
      Olsen Twins
      I'm going to have to agree... every story is exactly the same (You can't say you hate them unless you've seen them... Have you seen them O'nus?)
      I still cry during the night sometimes...[/b]

      BUT THEIR FARKIN\' HOT, GOD DAMMIT!

      [Moved to The Lounge]
      "i am the crumpled sheets of paper behind an artists' attempt at perfection"


      www.myspace.com/mattnocas (more recent pics and info)
      Pictures of me here-----> (4 years old now)
      http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5073

    6. #6
      Member KalmaH's Avatar
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      Titanic sucked!!!
      Early Morning Moment,
      A Glimpse of Joy,
      But soon it's Over, and I return to Dust...

    7. #7
      moderator emeritus jacobo's Avatar
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      anything with nicholas cage... that man ruins perfectly good movies. also i wasn't all to fond of lord of the rings, star wars, star trek, any jacki chan movie... there are too many to name. i have no disagreements with those that have been named thus far.
      clear eyes. strong hands.

    8. #8
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      Charlie's Angels 2(well, #1 too for that matter)- No explanation necesary...

      Dude Where's My Car (I couldn't even finish it, it was so bad. As I watched it I could feel my brain cells die)

      League of Extraordinary Gentlemen(crap)


      I'll finish the list later, I am not in the mood now...

      P.S. Pest was not that bad, at least I liked it when I watched it like 7 years ago....
      If I hadn't made me
      I'd be more inclined to bow
      Powers that be would have swallowed me up
      But that's more than I can allow...

    9. #9
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      kevin kostner movies... i admit he put out a couple good ones, but he put out a couple dozen cr@ptastic movies also...

    10. #10
      Member PSmolik90's Avatar
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      Battlefield Earth ...

      Anything with ashton kutcher(sp?) .. Holy bad actor, batman. The child actor playing his character in Butterfly Effect out shined him.
      By 3 am I have discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the world

    11. #11
      Member pcmsurf's Avatar
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      THE WORST MOVIE ive ever seen would have to be


      Master of Disguise

      its probably the most predictable redundant piece of horseshit ive seen in a long time. the same thing happens over and over about 10 times


      i am sorry that i wasted 2 hrs of my life watching this movie

      also dude wheres my car and the big lebowski are pretty worthless movies also


      best movies for me are OFFICE SPACE , ZOOLANDER, Old Skool Austin powers LOTR STAR WARS and some other stuff

    12. #12
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      LITTLE NICKY.

      watched that last night...it sucked. it had a couple funny parts but wasn't that great. plus it glorified hell...made it look like it isn't all that bad, a big party even.

      Maddox's review on Signs is awesome.

      and I'm going to agree with ashliebelle Deep Impact wasn't that bad.


      Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.

    13. #13
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      Scooby Doo...yeah, I watched it at work like a week ago and have been afraid to watch tv since...

      I mean, Scrappy was the bad guy????? They killed off any Scooby left in me...
      If I hadn't made me
      I'd be more inclined to bow
      Powers that be would have swallowed me up
      But that's more than I can allow...

    14. #14
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      ugh. I hate scooby-doo anyway. DIE. and yeah wtf scrappy was the bad guy? that was just stupid.


      Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.

    15. #15
      CT
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      league of extraordinairy gentleman was really bad yea... my dad bought the dvd because it looked interesting, but its not... Who the hell would make such a thing? There's no logic in the movie!!! What is it about?? Action? If I want to see stuff blown up, id watch some reruns of the A-team, dammit.

      oh and the maddox review of Daredevil is even better then the signs review ^_^

    16. #16
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      Originally posted by CT
      league of extraordinairy gentleman was really bad yea... my dad bought the dvd because it looked interesting, but its not... Who the hell would make such a thing? There's no logic in the movie!!! What is it about?? Action? If I want to see stuff blown up, id watch some reruns of the A-team, dammit.

      oh and the maddox review of Daredevil is even better then the signs review ^_^
      oooh...this I gotta see! *grabby hands*


      Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.

    17. #17
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      You haven't seen the Daredevil review??? I have to say it is truly hilarious...just like the movie's credibility was
      If I hadn't made me
      I'd be more inclined to bow
      Powers that be would have swallowed me up
      But that's more than I can allow...

    18. #18
      Member pcmsurf's Avatar
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      the greatest maddox writings would have to be


      the PETA and RICE CAR those make me crack up every time i see them i crack up

    19. #19
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      Rollerball sucked ( i fell asleep within the first 5 minutes). and i couldn't wait for Dumb and Dumberer to end. i only sat through it cause not watching a pay-per-view movie is a huge waste and causes me much guilt, as i don't pay the bill... i just view.
      "Most people think great good will come from the skies, take away everything, and make everybody feel high. But if you know what life is woth you would look for your on earth..."

    20. #20
      Member Escapist's Avatar
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      Aww... everyone is always hating on The League. I was mildly amused by it. Yes, it was pointless and stupid. But it was pretty! *cough*Stuart Townsend*cough*

      I hated Freddy vs Jason. It reminded me of a 5-minute movie me and my siblings made as kids with the family video camera.

    21. #21
      Member ffx-dreamz's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Lowercase Society+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Lowercase Society)</div>
      Originally posted by O'nus@
      <!--QuoteBegin-ashliebelle

      Olsen Twins
      I'm going to have to agree... every story is exactly the same (You can't say you hate them unless you've seen them... Have you seen them O'nus?)


      I still cry during the night sometimes...

      BUT THEIR FARKIN\' HOT, GOD DAMMIT!

      [Moved to The Lounge][/b]
      Lowercase is right, they are the hottest twins out there.
      I'll be celebrating their birthday for erm..certain reasons.

      As for movies, Chevy Chase and Steve Martin suck, period.

      So any movie that they star in pretty much is on my list.

      My favorite movies are all the lotrs, Starwars except episode 1 , and Star Gate-all of them.There are plenty more, I just can't think of the names right now.
      You guys suck.

    22. #22
      Member Je33ica's Avatar
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      Crossroads I watched it on a plane. I like the fact how she won't sleep with the geekly lab partner she actually knows while she goes on a roadtrip with some hot stranger and sleeps with him after a couple days....

      Also, her inspiring singer friend is OKAY with letting Britney be the lead singer after one failed attempt to impress the crowd (by the friend), what's up with that???

    23. #23
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      Remember you are 13 Ffx, there are somethings you can't do yet. HAHAHA. Nvm...

      Ok worst movie ever has to be this Jackie Chan movie called Fantasy Mission Force. I like a lot of his other movies but this one was just ugh... There's no plot, everyone dies at the end, nothing makes sense, and it has everything from ghosts to vampires to Amazon women wearing skimpy outfits. All of which takes places in the great country of Canada.

      The creativity is so lacking it's sickening. You can tell they hired 4th rate actors who barely know how to speak English. Then there's the fact that they couldn't even create an original name for the American general so they decided to name him 'Abraham Lincoln' instead...

    24. #24
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      I don't know if anyone has heard of this movie, or could ever findit

      Crazy Fat Ethel II was definatly a bad movie.
      (so bad it was fun to watch).
      - what they can never know is what we do to them in our minds -

      - the premise that led to the war on terror is a lie -

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