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    1. #1
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      Humans are so smart...not

      I found this in another forum, which I discovered while searching for "dream muffin" on yahoo. It is an actual accident report, which was published in the newsletter of the American Insurance Journal. I think you will find this funny. As far as I am concerned this is completely true...

      Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and i trust the following details will be sufficient.
      I was alone on the roof of a new 6-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly more than 500 pounds. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them down in a barrel using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
      Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
      You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 pounds.
      Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
      In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
      Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers on my right hand were buried two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.
      At approximately the same time however , the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
      Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
      I refer you again to my weight...
      As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations to my legs and lower body.
      Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
      I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel beginning its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
      I hope this answers your questions.
      If I hadn't made me
      I'd be more inclined to bow
      Powers that be would have swallowed me up
      But that's more than I can allow...

    2. #2
      Member Maystar's Avatar
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      oh dear oh dear oh dear.
      This reality is like a goldfish bowl. The dreamworld is the same, but larger. It's easy to get lost.

    3. #3
      Member Xisdence's Avatar
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      I feel bad but that is so funny, how bad of luck is possible?

      At least from now on anything would be like good luck for this poor fellow

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    4. #4
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      That is the most awesome of awesomest thing I've ever heard. Thank you

    5. #5
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      There is a show called "mythbusters" about this. They prove myths wrong or true, and on this one they said it was true but they had to put a piece of wood where the thing of bricks would land because the barrel just wouldn't open because of the shape of it.

    6. #6
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      Lol Truth you search for Dream Muffins in your spare time?

    7. #7
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      hehehe, yeah, I was trying to find how high we ranked with those keywords. I am dissapointed to say I gave up after at least 3 pages or so, with no DV
      If I hadn't made me
      I'd be more inclined to bow
      Powers that be would have swallowed me up
      But that's more than I can allow...

    8. #8
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      Yea I saw that one wasup. Which makes me think that its not real. Because the one part is very unlike and that the "story" is well enough known for someone to copy it.

    9. #9
      Member nina's Avatar
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      Well truthful or not that was the funniest thing I've heard in awhile.

    10. #10
      Member Boof's Avatar
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      that was funny. but did it have "dream muffin" in it???
      LD-Count-o-meter: 4
      -|So crucify the ego before it's far too late.|-

    11. #11
      Member nightowl's Avatar
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      haha, that was pretty funny. its like something right out of a catoon.

      Curiosity killed the cat but at least it didnt die an ignorant bastard

    12. #12
      Member Anima's Avatar
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      Poor guy.

      Musta felt like shit.

      I feel sorry for him, despite his stupidity.

    13. #13
      Member Xisdence's Avatar
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      Ypu gotta hand it to the guy though, he was creative in the way it all turned out
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    14. #14
      explore Demerzel's Avatar
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      [22:59] <Kaniaz> You basically did a massive shit on the rug of this IRC
      [22:59] <Kaniaz> And called it a message

    15. #15
      CT
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      I cant believe I never replied to this topic. hah.

    16. #16
      Member Xisdence's Avatar
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      Originally posted by CT
      I cant believe I never replied to this topic. hah.
      lol, ummmm yeh

      Looking at the thread name i forgot i had already replied, but then saw the top and the memories came back inside. Was that real anyway, the guy having those accidents?
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    17. #17
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      as far as I know it was...

      however it's hard to believe any sort of news nowadays
      If I hadn't made me
      I'd be more inclined to bow
      Powers that be would have swallowed me up
      But that's more than I can allow...

    18. #18
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      Oh MAAAAN that was funny. Can't believe I missed it before. Probably because I didn't want to read that much. But then I read Death's comment and couldn't resist.

      REALLY sounds like a Loony Toon or something. Poor dude. I'm honestly surprised he was able to remember which incident caused which injury though! I would have been in such a mind numbing cloud of pain that I wouldn't know what was happening when or where.

      Weird.



      Made me laugh my ass off though, thanks Truth!

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