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    1. 12-08-2008 06:13 AM #1
      Mysteryhunter
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      Cheezburger BEATING??

      *sigh*
      Nothing like getting in a fight your girlfriend on the way home from Mickey D's & start beating her in the face with your cheezeburger.

      "A Vero Beach man faces a domestic violence charge after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. An Indian River County Sheriff's Office arrest report said said the Vincent Gonzalez, 22, and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home."
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    2. 12-08-2008 06:16 AM #2
      ninja9578
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      It is wrong to laugh at domestic violence? Even if it's really really funny?

      At first I thought this was going to be a very bad lolcat spoof that I would have to destroy.
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    3. 12-08-2008 06:27 AM #3
      Mysteryhunter
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      Quote Originally Posted by ninja9578 View Post
      It is wrong to laugh at domestic violence? Even if it's really really funny?
      Obviously it's because you're a bad, bad person.
      someone gets beaten with something edible = hilarious

      Only, I was wondering if
      the cheeseburger was hurt in the aftermath?
      Last edited by Mysteryhunter; 12-08-2008 at 06:29 AM.
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    4. 12-08-2008 09:55 AM #4
      Man of Steel
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      What's next, homicide by Slurpee?
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    5. 12-08-2008 02:19 PM #5
      dylanshmai
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      lol, two good stories in one. The lady in the cow suit right below who got arrested for bindge drinking and chasing children at the theme park she worked at.

      Cheesburger assult is just crazy. This kind of story goes to show just what kind of stupid ass country with a stupid ass justice system we live in.
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    6. 12-08-2008 06:35 PM #6
      Amethyst Star
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      I can't help but wonder how one would "beat" someone with a cheeseburger. Since he smashed it in her face, that's not necessarily "beating" someone as it would require repetitive striking with said burger and I would assume that said burger would not hold up after one or two strikes. Maybe it's just me that thinks about stuff like that.

      "Assault with a deadly cheezburger!"

      The report said Gonzalez would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car.
      *Personal Note: Okay, that makes a little more sense.

      Wow. Domestic relationships at its finest!

      "If there was one thing the lucid dreaming ninja writer could not stand, it was used car salesmen."
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    7. 12-08-2008 06:52 PM #7
      Rozzy
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      yeah well guys it's not funny... my fiction boyfriend slammed a pickle in my face. the police officer said if only it would have been a cucumber instead of a pickle, i could have pressed charges...
      War never solved anything... except slavery, oppression, genocide, communism, fascism, and nazism
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      The reason people don't like questioning their beliefs is because it threatens their inner security. People have a habit of looking for what only comforts them.
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    8. 12-08-2008 07:40 PM #8
      dylanshmai
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      you're right, its not funny. That bitch should be slapped 1,000 times.
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    9. 12-09-2008 05:29 AM #9
      Mysteryhunter
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      Quote Originally Posted by Amethyst Star View Post
      I can't help but wonder how one would "beat" someone with a cheeseburger.
      perplexing enigma, I guess.

      This is the start of how the cheeseburger became a whopper.
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    10. 12-09-2008 05:50 PM #10
      Amethyst Star
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      Quote Originally Posted by Mysteryhunter View Post
      This is the start of how the cheeseburger became a whopper.
      I found that funnier than it had a right to be

      "If there was one thing the lucid dreaming ninja writer could not stand, it was used car salesmen."
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