...In Sickness and in Health, Until Death Do Us Part...[What Males REALLY Think]

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I decided to do a study on the male perspective regarding marital faithfulness. I asked a few "what if" questions to five men in the DV chat room. The five males that I conducted the study on were chosen at random. For obvious reasons, I'm not going to reveal their names. The purpose of the study was to find out if the old marital adage...

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...for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

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...still rang true within the hearts and minds of the average man. The answers below may or may not shock you. Though the study wasn't done on a large group of males, you DO know these men quite well. The below conversations took place via private messaging. You are about to bear witness to what males really think.


The main questions were

1. Do you like women
2. Do you plan on getting married
3. If your wife was horribly disfigured and/or disabled, would you still love her and carry out your duties as a faithful husband?
4. Would your feelings for her change?

Male #1

[Jeff777] 9:53 pm: You do like women right?
[Male #1] 9:53 pm: yes
[Male #1] 9:53 pm: I certainly do
[Jeff777] 9:53 pm: You plan on getting married one day?
[Male #1] 9:53 pm: some day, yeah
[Male #1] 9:53 pm: I do
[Jeff777] 9:54 pm: Say your wife had an accident with a meat grinder and half her face was shredded horribly like two face in the dark knight.
[Jeff777] 9:54 pm: Would you still love her and stay with her and take her out to dinner and kiss her in public and make love to her with the lights on etc.
[Jeff777] 9:54 pm: Answer...completely...honestly.
[Male #1] 9:56 pm: ok
[Male #1] 9:57 pm: I don't know if I could
[Male #1] 9:57 pm: If I REALLY love her, then yeah, most likely I would
[Male #1] 9:57 pm: But, i'd still probably start fucking on the side

Male #2

[Jeff777] 9:51 pm: You like women right?
[Male #2] 9:51 pm: Are women the ones with vaginas?
[Jeff777] 9:52 pm: Yes.
[Male #2] 9:52 pm: Then yes, I do like women.
[Jeff777] 9:52 pm: You plan on getting married on day right
[Male #2] 9:54 pm: Eventually, after I've fooled around long enough.
[Jeff777] 9:54 pm: Say your wife had an accident with a meat grinder and half her face was shredded horribly like two face in the dark knight.
[Jeff777] 9:54 pm: Would you still love her and stay with her and take her out to dinner and kiss her in public and make love to her with the lights on etc.
[Jeff777] 9:54 pm: Answer...completely...honestly.
[Male #2] 9:56 pm: Well, I assume I'd have formed an emotional bond with her if I had fallen truly, completely in love with her
[Male #2] 9:57 pm: I'd stay with her because she'd need me
[Male #2] 9:57 pm: Plus, her genes are still good
[Jeff777] 10:00 pm: What if she also lost an arm and both her legs
[Jeff777] 10:00 pm: And needed assistance for the rest of her life.
[Jeff777] 10:00 pm: And what if pretty girls were hitting on you and wanted your junk
[Jeff777] 10:00 pm: Would you cheat on her?
[Male #2] 10:02 pm: No female could control me and sway me unless I be willing
[Male #2] 10:02 pm: so I would not
[Male #2] 10:03 pm: As for the other part of your question
[Jeff777] 10:03 pm: So even if she had one arm, half a face and no legs...you'd still be 100% faithful to her for the rest of your life?
[Male #2] 10:03 pm: It just so happens that I'm planning on trying my best to get a career working on/researching cybernetics
[Male #2] 10:03 pm: So I'd consider that more motivation
[Male #2] 10:04 pm: In fact, I have a pipe dream of turning myself into a cyborg one day
[Jeff777] 10:04 pm: lol
[Male #2] 10:04 pm: I'm dead serious
[Male #2] 10:04 pm: So yes, I would remain 100% faithful to her for the rest of my life

Male #3

[Jeff777] 10:01 pm: You like women right?
[Male #3] 10:07 pm: yea
[Male #3] 10:07 pm: why u ask?
[Jeff777] 10:07 pm: You plan on getting married one day?
[Male #3] 10:07 pm: not sure about that
[Male #3] 10:07 pm: why ?
[Jeff777] 10:07 pm: Hm, well
[Jeff777] 10:08 pm: Say you had a girlfriend you were in love with and she had an accident with a meat grinder and half her face was shredded horribly like two face in the dark knight.
[Jeff777] 10:08 pm: Would you still love her and stay with her and take her out to dinner and kiss her in public and make love to her with the lights on etc.
[Male #3] 10:09 pm: im gonna say realistically no
[Jeff777] 10:09 pm: By simply thinking about it?
[Jeff777] 10:09 pm: Ah
[Jeff777] 10:09 pm: Why?
[Male #3] 10:10 pm: because the burden would strain both parties
[Male #3] 10:10 pm: both lives would be irreparably altered
[Male #3] 10:10 pm: so i cant say how i would feel unless something like that happens
[Male #3] 10:12 pm: basically i think that its not fair to expect the person to remain with them
[Male #3] 10:12 pm: when nature will be pulling them in another direction
[Male #3] 10:13 pm: so it would be selfish of the person who got damaged to expect them to be with them only
[Male #3] 10:13 pm: it would be clingy and needy which would eventually put strain on the relationship

Male #4

[Jeff777] 10:07 pm: You like women right?
[Male #4] 10:07 pm: I think so
[Male #4] 10:07 pm: yes.
[Jeff777] 10:07 pm: You plan on getting married one day?
[Male #4] 10:07 pm: yes I like women
[Male #4] 10:07 pm: and yes
[Male #4] 10:07 pm: if all goes well
[Jeff777] 10:10 pm: So let me ask...you'd stay with her if she had half a face, one arm and no legs? And needed assistance for the rest of her life?
[Male #4] 10:14 pm: I'd feel obligated
[Jeff777] 10:14 pm: Really? What do you mean?
[Male #4] 10:14 pm: I don't think it would be the right thing to do, leaving, so I wouldn't do it
[Male #4] 10:14 pm: just because I wouldn't be able to live with myself
[Jeff777] 10:15 pm: What if other girls came along and were hot and wanted you to have sex with them...would you cheat on your disabled/disfigured wife for them?
[Male #4] 10:15 pm: I don't think I could accurately answer that question
[Male #4] 10:16 pm: I'd be tempted, obviously
[Male #4] 10:16 pm: but if I were to actually go through with it... hm, I dunno
[Male #4] 10:18 pm: I'd stay with her for life because that's what I promised to do
[Jeff777] 10:18 pm: But not because you felt attracted to her and loved her anymore right?
[Male #4] 10:18 pm: I think the physical attraction meter would take a definite beating. it would have to
[Male #4] 10:19 pm: but deep down the person you married would still be inside
[Male #4] 10:19 pm: regardless of limbs or no limbs
[Jeff777] 10:21 pm: You still stick to everything? And be with her 100%?
[Male #4] 10:22 pm: My answer is I don't have an answer.

Male #5

[Jeff777] 10:12 pm: You like women right?
[Male #5] 10:13 pm: Yeah. you?
[Jeff777] 10:13 pm: You plan on getting married one day right?
[Male #5] 10:19 pm: Yeah.
[Jeff777] 10:17 pm: Say you had a girlfriend you were in love with and she had an accident with a meat grinder and half her face was shredded horribly like two face in the dark knight.
[Jeff777] 10:08 pm: Would you still love her?and stay with her and take her out to dinner and kiss her in public and make love to her with the lights on etc.
[Male #5] 10:19 pm: I think so
[Jeff777] 10:21 pm: Now say other girls came along that were supermodel like hot (be honest...completely) and wanted you to bed them...would you cheat on her and do it?
[Male #5] 10:21 pm: Hmm...
[Male #5] 10:21 pm: It would be a serious compromise to my morals...
[Jeff777] 10:22 pm: But would you do it
[Male #5] 10:22 pm: I've had opportunities with girls though, and didn't take them for moral reasons. So- I think I could help myself. However..
[Jeff777] 10:22 pm: So you don't think you'd give in?
[Male #5] 10:22 pm: I like to say I wouldn't. Buuttt-
[Male #5] 10:23 pm: I couldn't say. Since right now, I am looking forward to something more. If I was married, I wouldn't have that.
[Male #5] 10:23 pm: Like I said, I'd like to say that I wouldn't. And I don't think that I would. But- I'm not sure.
[Jeff777] 10:23 pm: Ah
[Jeff777] 10:23 pm: And why wouldn't you be sure?
[Male #5] 10:24 pm: Well, I doubt that I would actually go all the way. As in sex. But I might do other things. Hopefully not. I just have very strong impulses sometimes.
[Male #5] 10:24 pm: If I lost desire to my wife, I have no idea what I would do
[Male #5] 10:25 pm: But I may not loose desire just because her face has gone away...
[Male #5] 10:25 pm: Then again I might

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What do you think reader? Do some of these responses shock you or are you not surprised? While this study is not based on a large number of men and ages of the males were not a concern, - please feel free to discuss their opinions, thoughts, statements in here. Perhaps you feel the questions were unfair to ask the males or anyone really (if the questions were reversed and targeted at women). Perhaps you might even like to share some of your own.



~ Discuss

My thoughts on the comments varies on where you found the guys.. anyways I took the survery.


1. Yes I like women.
2. Yes I do.
3. If it is cosmetic IE: face being mauled I would stay, at least she is independent and could help herself. If she had half a face, one arm, and no legs, I would have to think that over. I mean that requires a lot of assistance. How can I keep a job but take care of my wife? She would of needed more help then I can give. It might have to be like John McCain (? I think it's him.. They didn't break up because of her accident though or at least I think) and stay friends.
4. If I really loved her they probably wouldn't change.

I would have expected most people to say yes, they would stay faithful, but eventually do the opposite. The one thing that surprises me is that the people seem to be pretty honest, in that most of the answers aren't 'Of course I would!"

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It might have to be like John McCain (? I think it's him.. They didn't break up because of her accident though or at least I think) and stay friends.

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If you left her after that, though, I bet she wouldn't want to stay friends, since the even the thought of you would likely be painful to your ex-wife.

Plus, the odds of her ever finding a suitable man again drop drastically, so if you ever found another wife, the whole time you were married to your new wife you would feel incredibly guilty if your ex-wife hadn't found another husband.

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Originally Posted by hellohihello

My thoughts on the comments varies on where you found the guys.. anyways I took the survery.


1. Yes I like women.
2. Yes I do.
3. If it is cosmetic IE: face being mauled I would stay, at least she is independent and could help herself. If she had half a face, one arm, and no legs, I would have to think that over. I mean that requires a lot of assistance. How can I keep a job but take care of my wife? She would of needed more help then I can give. It might have to be like John McCain (? I think it's him.. They didn't break up because of her accident though or at least I think) and stay friends.
4. If I really loved her they probably wouldn't change.

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In DV chat. They are regular members on DV...quite prominent ones at that. Anyways, I felt their answers were a bit more sincere because of two reasons...

1. It took place in a PM.
2. Their answers were going to be published without their name tagged beside what they said.

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You like women right?

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Why yes, yes I do.

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You plan on getting married one day right?

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Of course! I would love to have atleast one kid when I get older.

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Say you had a girlfriend you were in love with and she had an accident with a meat grinder and half her face was shredded horribly like two face in the dark knight.
Would you still love her?and stay with her and take her out to dinner and kiss her in public and make love to her with the lights on etc.

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Yes, if I really loved her then I would, but if I didn't love her, then why would she be my girlfriend? I'm not the kind of guy to date someone just for sex...even though I've never had it :/

Also, surgery can be done.

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Now say other girls came along that were supermodel like hot (be honest...completely) and wanted you to bed them...would you cheat on her and do it?

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No, because they're probably just whores and have done it with thousands of other guys. They'd also probably steal my money when I'm not looking.

That's how I feel. It all really depends on who the girl is that I'm dating.

Slayer, your answers to the above questions are appreciated...and I believe you. However, - it's hard to say who's serious about these questions and answers or not. For one thing, the males above were going to anonymous in here...that allowed them to be as honest as they wanted to be. Others who might post afterwards...not so much.

Thanks. I'm still a little iffy about the face part though...

I know I'd want to stay with my girlfriend, but things might get bad for us if she stays like that.

I'd say my following answers are as sincere as any of the five guys you interviewed, based solely on the fact that I'm not the type to sugarcoat things. I calls 'em exactly like I sees 'em.

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You like women right?

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What the hell else would I like?

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You plan on getting married one day right?

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Truthfully, I'd prefer a more "unofficial" wedding, as state-recognized weddings have so many strings attached it's not even funny. (At least this way, if the bitch gets tired of me and decides to divorce, she can't have half my shit. Because she can't divorce me if we're not "officially" married! Hehehehehehe.)

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Say you had a girlfriend you were in love with and she had an accident with a meat grinder and half her face was shredded horribly like two face in the dark knight. Would you still love her? And stay with her and take her out to dinner and kiss her in public and make love to her with the lights on etc.

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The answer to that depends heavily on whether or not that woman is, for lack of a better term, my "soul mate" - as in, we're so intertwined as far as interests/personality traits/etc. goes that we're basically the same person, just male and female. (Did that sound totally narcissistic to anyone else but me?)

If yes, then of course I would still love her. I'd stay with her...I'd totally take her out to dinner and kiss her in public. (If she shared my sense of humor, she'd see the humor of her condition and make the best of it...scaring little kids on the street, that sort of thing.) I'd still make love to her, but I can't guarantee I'd leave the lights on...or maybe I'd make her wear a mask.

If NO, then...well, sorry, lady. If you don't share my dark (yet adventurous) outlook on life, you really have no reason to stay with an insensitive, crass, raunchy-humored son of a bitch like me, anyway.

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Now say other girls came along that were supermodel like hot (be honest...completely) and wanted you to bed them...would you cheat on her and do it?

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Again, that depends on my girl.

If she be my "soul mate" (God, that term seems gayer every time I write it), then I wouldn't really need the love of other women. And of course by love, I mean sex, because...well, really, that's all that those supermodel-types have to offer: Their bodies.

And again, if my wife turns out to be not quite the woman I need... Well, I dunno, really. I might, but I'd definitely feel bad about it. It really depends on whether the slut's simply hitting on me or vigorously humping my leg.

So, yeah. Interpret that as you will.

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Originally Posted by Lëzen

What the hell else would I like?

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Men.

It is called "homosexuality". I hear some people do it.

I'm a bad person. I checked a Bible site biblegateway.com and

Spoiler for Verse:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,”- Ephesians 5:25-26

showed up.

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Originally Posted by Kiza

Men.

It is called "homosexuality". I hear some people do it.

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Goodness, what a queer idea...very queer indeed...

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Originally Posted by hellohihello

I'm a bad person. I checked a Bible site biblegateway.com and

Spoiler for Verse:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,”- Ephesians 5:25-26

showed up.

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It also says "Do not deny yourselves one to another.' (Talking about spouses and sex.) So there's that.

((Btw, Jeff, I'm glad you went back to the Boondocks avatar. I don't know, even when you didn't have a Boondocks avatar, my mind just filled one in. Hehe.))

I think the average male would cheat on his disfigured wife, while still staying married so he looks like a good person. I probably would...Although having no arms and legs could make for some kinky romance.

Thanks Spockman :)

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Originally Posted by grasshoppa

I think the average male would cheat on his disfigured wife, while still staying married so he looks like a good person. I probably would...Although having no arms and legs could make for some kinky romance.

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Honesty at its finest.

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Originally Posted by grasshoppa

Although having no arms and legs could make for some kinky romance.

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Lul

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. No.
4. Yes.

If I really loved meat grinder face, I might stay, but I highly doubt it would be worth it. No question about leaving 1 leg, 1 arm, meat grinder face.

I'm kinda surprised no-one said out right they'd leave. But I suppose I shouldn't be.

Figure I might as well opine. :)

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1. Do you like women

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Yup.

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2. Do you plan on getting married

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Eventually...maybe....I'm in no hurry.

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3. If your wife was horribly disfigured and/or disabled, would you still love her and carry out your duties as a faithful husband?

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Idealistically, yes I would, but there is likely to come a point in time (as Jeff asked the others) where temptation would come knocking. I do believe I can honestly say I wouldn't be unfaithful, but if it got to be too much to bear, my wife and I would have to have a long talk about physical attraction and intimacy, and the problems that are being caused. If my mind (attraction) began to wander, I would be man enough to tell her so, and to see where things go from there. What I would not do is go sleeping around behind her back, without communicating that there is an issue, just because I'm hard up for sex.

Besides, if she's really an amazing enough woman that I married her, she'd understand how hard it might be for a guy to 'perform', when he's looking at a woman without a face. :?

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4. Would your feelings for her change?

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Other than physical attraction, no. I haven't yet come to the point in a relationship, though, where the bond was so strong that a massive disfigurement wouldn't diminish physical attraction at least a little bit.